upworthy
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women

We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.

women at work, comedy, leadership
With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Men and the feels.


Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.

In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.

One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.

Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?

IS IT?

Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.

women\u2019s communication, women in business, men

Encourage.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.

Sarah Cooper comedy, women, success

Sharing ideas.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."

emails, comedy, gen

Email requests.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.

office politics, men, relationships

Idea sharing.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.

sexism, sexist comments, sexual harassment

Sexism.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.

threats, non-threatening, mansplain

Mansplain.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.

leadership, work mistakes, hurt feelings

Mistakes.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.

promotions, management, coworkers

Promotions.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.

rude behavior, ignored, self esteem

Rude.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.

interruptions, resilience,expression

Interruptions.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.

typing, off-putting, work skills

Collaboration.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.

disagreements, solution, problem solving

Disagreements.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!

strategies, power dynamics, team player

In conclusion...

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.

About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.

humor, satire, executives

The comedic book cover.

With permission from Sarah Cooper.

A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.


This article was originally published on 3.25.19

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Subaru
Subaru
Joy

5 things that made us smile this week

Grab your tissues and read some seriously good news.

Grab your tissues and get ready for some seriously good news.

True

After a harrowing election season, we could all use an emotional pick-me-up. Thankfully, the internet never fails to deliver. Check out five uplifting stories we’ve found that made us smile this week.

Enjoy—and don't forget to share the love!

1. This toddler's adorable reaction

@vita.paskar This is when things start to get exciting 🥹 when they begin to understand! #fyp #christmas #target #toddler ♬ Rockin' Around The Christmas Tree - Brenda Lee

Victoria Paskar’s son Ellis had just been born last December, so when it came to appreciating the magic of the holiday season, it wasn't something he was really able to do. This year, however, that’s changed: In an adorable TikTok video, Paskar caught the moment when Ellis (now a toddler) notices the lit-up trees and holiday decorations. So magical and pure in every way.

2. More meals for seniors in need

Subaru - Share the Love Event and Meals on Wheels

Hunger is a national problem, and one that Subaru is helping to fix. Thanks to the Subaru Share the Love Event, Subaru has delivered more than 4.6 million meals and friendly visits to seniors facing hunger and isolation. Since 2008, Subaru is the largest automotive donor to Meals on Wheels—and they’re just getting started. With every new Subaru sale, Subaru and its retailers donate at least $300 to charities like Meals on Wheels.

3. This five-year-old piano prodigy brings down the house with Mozart

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.Pianoforte/Facebook

A clip of a five-year-old performing at the 10th International Music Competition in Italy is now going viral, and it’s no surprise why. To little to even reach the pedals with his feet, Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani still wows the audience with a masterful performance of a Mozart piece. According to his mother, Alberto had participated in seven national and international music competitions and won first place in all of them, all by the time he was four and a half. It’s like he’s channeling Amadeus himself.

4. An adopted man reunites with his bio mom and forms a "sweet" connection

Lenore Lindsey and Vamarr HunterABC 7 / YouTube

When 50-year-old Vamarr Hunter decided to take a genealogy test to find his biological mother, he had no idea how close he had already been to finding her. After a genealogy test, Hunter discovered that his mother, Lenore Lindsey, who had given him up for adoption as an infant, was actually the owner of “Give Me Some Sugar” in South Shore Chicago—Hunter’s favorite bakery. The two experienced an “immediate connection” after meeting, and after Lindsey suffered a stroke, Hunter stepped in to manage the bakery full-time. No, you’re crying.

5. A teacher uses AI to inspire her classroom

Now this is wholesome: An elementary teacher in Turkey named Gülümser Balci used artificial intelligence to create images of her students as their future selves in their dream jobs. Each kid is shocked and delighted to see themselves as adults, living out their dreams.

For more things that'll make you smile, check out all the ways Subaru is sharing the love this holiday season, here.

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Fatherhood

People applauded after Mark Wahlberg confronted the DJ at his daughter's dance party

Dad to the rescue.

via TheEllenShow / YouTube

Mark Wahlberg on "The Ellen Show."

Four years ago, actor Mark Wahlberg attended a daddy-daughter dance with his then 10-year-old, Grace. Sadly, Grace had no interest in seeing her father strutting his stuff on the dance floor. "I didn't get one dance," Wahlberg told Ellen DeGeneres. "And I told her we were going to do the whole big circle and I was going to go off. And she said, 'Dad, if you embarrass me, I will never talk to you again.' But what she did do is she hung out with me."

No matter who your dad is, especially if you're a 10-year-old-girl, you have zero desire to see him dance in front of your friends. But the parents at the dance probably would have had a blast seeing Wahlberg bust out some of his old-school '90s Marky Mark moves. However, Wahlberg couldn't help but leave his mark on the music being played at the dance.

Let's not forget, he didn't get famous for his acting but for showing off his abs in the "Good Vibrations" video.

Being that Wahlberg's time as a pop star was three decades ago, he couldn't believe it when he heard the music being played at the dance.

"[Grace] sat there on the edge of the stage, by the DJ. And then I'm sitting there with one other dad and I'm like, 'This is not an edited version of this song. There are explicit lyrics being played at a school dance for girls and I'm like no good,'" he said.

"I told the DJ and he's like, 'Oh, I thought it was.' I said, 'What are you doing?' I'm hearing F-bombs and this and that's not okay," Wahlberg said.

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect.

Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect.

Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Science

Optometrists warn people against waterproof mascara due to the risk of unsightly eye damage

It can enter the tear film and get absorbed into the eyelid.

Photo credit: Canva

Waterproof mascara is causing eye damage according to optometrists

Eyes are a very sensitive part of the body, they quickly remind people of that when a spec of dust dares to sneak beneath the eyelid. The near microscopic dust particle suddenly feels like a large piece of spiked gravel refusing to dislodge itself no matter how much our eye waters trying to release it. The same goes for pretty much anything that makes its way into your eye.

Your own eyelashes that are supposed to serve as sentries standing guard to keep things out of your eyes sometimes betray you by falling directly into them. Just about anything can cause eye irritation and makeup is no different, especially if you rub your eyes while wearing it. But optometrists are warning against one particular type of eye makeup–waterproof mascara.

Yes, one of the greatest makeup inventions to come out of the twentieth century. Though the first version of waterproof mascara made in 1938 contained turpentine which of course resulted in unpleasant reactions, it was perfected in the 60s. No more worries about looking like a raccoon if you're caught in the rain or worse, have your feelings hurt and begin to cry. The popularity of the cosmetic exploded once the toxic ingredient was removed, yet eye doctors are saying to stay away. Why?

person with lighted cigarette in mouth Photo by Brands&People on Unsplash

Several optometrists have taken to social media and YouTube over the years to discuss the risk of wearing waterproof mascara and eyeliner.

Dr. Gurleen Dhanoa explains, "it's right there in the name, waterproof mascara. Waterproof meaning it will not breakdown when in contact with water and our tear film is mostly comprised of water," she says before continuing to answer a commenter's question. "So when waterproof makeup enters the eye and tear film, which is inevitable, makeup is going to get into the eye, it doesn't breakdown and then it has nowhere to go but into the structures."


@eyestheticsofficial Replying to @e #greenscreen why id never recommand using waterproof mascaras #mascara #waterproof #makeup #makeupremoval #eyecare #lashes #waterproofmascara #eyes #eyedoctor #optometrist #doctorsoftiktok ♬ original sound - EYEsthetics | Optometrists

Once the waterproof makeup enters the structures of the eye it can cause a lot of damage, inflammation and irritation. This can cause people a lot of frustration because they may constantly feel like something is in their eyes which means more rubbing of the eyes leading to more irritation.

Ophthalmologist, Dr. Rupa Wong says, "if you do use waterproof makeup just remember to remove it thoroughly, it does take a little bit more work than regular eye makeup but you want to remove your eye makeup every single night. Don't be lazy, this is important because otherwise you can be prone to infections, inflammation, lash mites, none of the stuff that you want."


Several eye doctors have cited studies and their own experience seeing patients experiencing eye irritation as the result of waterproof mascara getting into the tear film of the eye. One doctor shares that his patient hadn't worn mascara in over ten years yet when he looked under her eyelid, the small black specs from that previously worn mascara were speckled throughout her eye's tear film. But how on earth do you get the mascara out of the tear film once its embedded?

Monica M. Dweck, MD, an ophthalmologist at the New York Eye and Ear Infirmary of Mount Sinai tells Ophthalmology Advisor, that improper removal of eye makeup and sleeping in eye makeup can clog the meibomian glands which can lead to meibomian gland dysfunction to which there is no cure. “It can be managed, and it can be controlled, but there’s no cure.”


@doctoreyehealth Did you know!? —> Mascara and other eye makeup products can sometimes get trapped under the eyelid and be absorbed into the eyelid tissue. It’s essential to be cautious when applying eye makeup and to remove it thoroughly using gentle makeup removers specifically designed for the eyes. Additionally, practicing good eye hygiene and avoiding excessive rubbing or touching of the eyes can help reduce the risk of makeup particles getting trapped under the eyelid and absorbed into the eyelid tissue. If you ever experience discomfort or notice makeup residue accumulating under your eyelid, it’s a good idea to consult with an eye care professional for guidance and proper care. DISCLAIMER: All content in this video and description including infor­ma­tion, opinions, con­tent, ref­er­ences and links is for infor­ma­tional pur­poses only. The Author does not pro­vide any med­ical advice on the site. Noth­ing con­tained in this video or it’s description is intended to estab­lish a physician-patient rela­tion­ship, to replace the ser­vices of a trained physi­cian or health care pro­fes­sional, or oth­er­wise to be a sub­sti­tute for pro­fes­sional med­ical advice, diag­no­sis, or treatment. You should con­sult a licensed physi­cian or appropriately-credentialed health care worker in your com­mu­nity in all mat­ters relat­ing to your health. All non-licensed clips used for fair use commentary, criticism, and educational purposes.
♬ original sound - Doctor Eye Health

The meibomian glands help produce the oil needed to make tears which are constantly produced by your eyes to keep them from drying out. But when speaking to the Ophthalmology Advisor, Dr. Di Meglio reports that they can die out when makeup is consistently applied to the waterline. "If those glands die out, they can be gone forever… If you’re putting eyeliner along there, you’re giving yourself a little bit more of a chance of having gland dysfunction. If the oil stays stagnant…the glands themselves can atrophy.”

Waterproof mascaras and other eye makeup may be fantastic inventions to help keep things from running down your cheeks on humid or rainy days but the risk of wearing it daily may be too much for some people. Whether you should wear it or not is split amongst the different eye doctors with some saying don't wear it at all and others saying occasional use is fine as long as you remove it properly and avoid ever sleeping in it. It's up to each individual person to decide if they're willing to take the risk.

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Education

Why didn't people smile in old photographs? It wasn't just about the long exposure times.

People blame these serious expressions on how long they had to sit for a photo, but that's not the whole picture.

Public domain images

Photos from the 1800s were so serious.

If you've ever perused photographs from the 19th and early 20th century, you've likely noticed how serious everyone looked. If there's a hint of a smile at all, it's oh-so-slight, but more often than not, our ancestors looked like they were sitting for a sepia-toned mug shot or being held for ransom or something. Why didn't people smile in photographs? Was life just so hard back then that nobody smiled? Were dour, sour expressions just the norm?

Most often, people's serious faces in old photographs are blamed on the long exposure time of early cameras, and that's true. Taking a photo was not an instant event like it is now; people had to sit still for many minutes in the 1800s to have their photo taken.

Ever try holding a smile for only one full minute? It's surprisingly difficult and very quickly becomes unnatural. A smile is a quick reaction, not a constant state of expression. Even people we think of as "smiley" aren't toting around full-toothed smiles for minutes on end. When you had to be still for several minutes to get your photo taken, there was just no way you were going to hold a smile for that long.

But there are other reasons besides long exposure times that people didn't smile in early photographs.

1800s photographsWhy so serious? Public domain

The non-smiling precedent had already been set by centuries of painted portraits

The long exposure times for early photos may have contributed to serious facial expressions, but so did the painted portraits that came before them. Look at all of the portraits of famous people throughout history prior to cameras. Sitting to be painted took hours, so smiling was out of the question. Other than the smallest of lip curls like the Mona Lisa, people didn't smile for painted portraits, so why would people suddenly think it normal to flash their pearly whites (which were not at all pearly white back then) for a photographed one? It simply wasn't how it was done.

A smirk? Sometimes. A full-on smile? Practically never.

"Mona Lisa" by Leonardo da Vinci, painted in 1503Public domain

Smiling usually indicated that you were a fool or a drunkard

Our perceptions of smiling have changed dramatically since the 1800s. In explaining why smiling was considered taboo in portraits and early photos, art historian Nicholas Jeeves wrote in Public Domain Review:

"Smiling also has a large number of discrete cultural and historical significances, few of them in line with our modern perceptions of it being a physical signal of warmth, enjoyment, or indeed of happiness. By the 17th century in Europe it was a well-established fact that the only people who smiled broadly, in life and in art, were the poor, the lewd, the drunk, the innocent, and the entertainment […] Showing the teeth was for the upper classes a more-or-less formal breach of etiquette."

"Malle Babbe" by Frans Hals, sometime between 1640 and 1646Public domain

In other words, to the Western sensibility, smiling was seen as undignified. If a painter did put a smile on the subject of a portrait, it was a notable departure from the norm, a deliberate stylistic choice that conveyed something about the artist or the subject.

Even the artists who attempted it had less-than-ideal results. It turns out that smiling is such a lively, fleeting expression that the artistically static nature of painted portraits didn't lend itself well to showcasing it. Paintings that did have subjects smiling made them look weird or disturbing or drunk. Simply put, painting a genuine, natural smile didn't work well in portraits of old.

As a result, the perception that smiling was an indication of lewdness or impropriety stuck for quite a while, even after Kodak created snapshot cameras that didn't have the long exposure time problem. Even happy occasions had people nary a hint of joy in the photographs that documented them.

wedding party photoEven wedding party photos didn't appear to be joyful occasions.Wikimedia Commons

Then along came movies, which may have changed the whole picture

So how did we end up coming around to grinning ear to ear for photos? Interestingly enough, it may have been the advent of motion pictures that pushed us towards smiling being the norm.

Photos could have captured people's natural smiles earlier—we had the technology for taking instant photos—but culturally, smiling wasn't widely favored for photos until the 1920s. One theory about that timing is that the explosion of movies enabled us to see emotions of all kinds playing out on screen, documenting the fleeting expressions that portraits had failed to capture. Culturally, it became normalized to capture, display and see all kind of emotions on people's faces. As we got more used to that, photo portraits began portraying people in a range of expression rather than trying to create a neutral image of a person's face.

Changing our own perceptions of old photo portraits to view them as neutral rather than grumpy or serious can help us remember that people back then were not a bunch of sourpusses, but people who experienced as wide a range of emotion as we do, including joy and mirth. Unfortunately, we just rarely get to see them in that state before the 1920s.

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Science

New research says cold plunges are overrated. Long live hot baths.

If it ain't broke, don't fix it.

ArcticDry/Flickr & Unsplash

It's safe to say that cold plunges, or several-minute-long ice baths, are having a moment. Athletes have been using them forever to recover from workouts and rigorous games (the ancient Greeks even liked it!), but at some point in recent years, cold plunging entered the zeitgeist as an everyday therapy for normal people.

Celebrities like Drake and Justin Bieber can be seen submerging themselves in frigid water on social media. Joe Rogan relentlessly evangelizes the benefits of cold plunging to his listeners. Fitness influencers all over the globe are pushing cold plunging as the key to unlocking better results.

What are the benefits of cold plunging? For starters, it reduces inflammation in muscles, which reduces soreness. It also makes you feel absolutely amazing, as the shock of the cold water causes an intense rush of adrenaline and dopamine in the body, creating a sort of natural high that can last for hours. Some experts claim that cold plunges can reduce anxiety and stress, boost metabolism, and even keep you from getting sick!

All that with very little drawbacks, the main one being that hopping neck-deep into 50 degree water is intensely uncomfortable.

ActiveSteve/Flickr

New research out of Ritsumeikan University in Japan is throwing some cold water on the trend. According to the study, a good old fashioned hot bath is a better choice for more people. And more fun, too.

Researchers took a group of 10 men and had them perform high-intensity exercise. Afterwards, one group soaked in a cold tub, one in a hot tub, and one just sat in a normal room as a control.

Not long after their 20-minute soak, the men performed high jumps, and the researchers measured how high they were able to jump.

The three-part study put the men through the rotation several times, so each man had eventually tried the cold tub, hot tub, and control room.

The findings showed that the men who soaked in the hot tub performed the best in the athletic testing afterwards.

Turns out, there's a downside to constricting the blood flow to your muscles and reducing inflammation and soreness. You also block the delivery of key nutrients and rich, oxygenated blood that promotes recovery.

Mamoru Tsuyuki, a master’s student in sports and health science and author of the study, reasoned that cold plunges still have their place when someone's injured or dealing with tremendous soreness. You can see why a Major League pitcher might dunk his arm in ice immediately after a game.

But most normal people don't need to hop into an ice bath after a workout. A hot soak is a lot more comfortable and will probably do a better job of helping those muscles recover quickly. Warmth and better bloodflow will also prioritize building new muscles rather than minimizing soreness.


Peter Thomas/Unsplash

(It's also worth mentioning that, unlike a hot bath, cold plunging can be pretty dangerous. If the water is too cold, you risk going into shock or hypothermia.)

Overall, the scientific community is skeptical at best of the supposed amazing benefits to cold plunging. So why did it get so popular?

The fitness community has a new cold plunge every few years.

For a while, we were sure that High-Intensity Interval Training was THE answer to all your exercise woes. Then it was foam rollers that were going to unlock all of your flexibility and mobility and send your soreness packing. Same with cupping. Then it was the massage gun, the ultimate workout recovery tool. And on and on with Peloton and Bowflex and those vibrating As Seen on TV ab belts.

The truth we don't want to admit is that everybody's body is different, and what works well for one person may not work for us. That's because it's not an easy idea to sell, it's not profitable. No one wants to buy a $5,000 cold plunge set up unless they're convinced it's going to change their life.

So influencers play up the benefits. It's what they do.

Some people love cold plunging, and they have every right to enjoy it! Others find it miserable, and that's OK, too. Cold plunging has legitimate scientific benefits, but it also has drawbacks, dangers, and a whole lot of pseudo-science behind it. It's absolutely OK if you'd rather take a warm bath or soak in the hot tub after a workout.

Now you have scientific evidence in your corner next time someone tries to pressure you into an ice bath. Just say, "Nah, I'm prioritizing bloodflow and muscle recovery today. But you have fun."

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Family

5-year-old gave his mom advice for handling nerves. It was both adorable and spot-on.

"You say, ‘I am brave of this meeting!’, ‘I am loved!’, ‘I smell good!"

Photo by Annie Spratt on Unsplash, @EPrecipice/Twitter

Kids really do say the darnedest things.

Any parent knows that kids can be surprisingly astute little philosophers at the most unexpected times. One minute your child is throwing a tantrum because you sliced their sandwich wrong, and the next they are blowing you away with their deep preschool thoughts. It's enough to give you whiplash, but it's also one of the most fun things about being around kids. You never know what they're going to say and sometimes what they say is just awesome.

Case in point: This 5-year-old who gave his mom some sage advice about handling her nerves. Twitter user @Eprecipice (StressieBessie) shared the story in a tweet thread. She wrote: "When talking about our agendas for the day, I told my 5yo I was a little nervous about a meeting I have today. He said, 'Mama, I am nervous all the time. I know what to do.' So friends, here is all the advice he could fit into the drive to school:"


1. “You gotta say your affirmations in your mouth and your heart. You say, ‘I am brave of this meeting!’ , ‘I am loved!’, ‘I smell good!’ And you can say five or three or ten until you know it.”

Okay, first of all, the fact that this kiddo knows what affirmations are is awesome. Some people have questioned whether this advice really came from a 5-year-old because of the vocabulary, but kids are sponges and affirmations aren't rocket science. It's become quite common for preschools and kindergartens to teach kids things like this, so it's not actually surprising to hear him talk about affirmations. It's just adorable to hear the ones he suggests.

2. “You gotta walk big. You gotta mean it. Like Dolly on a dinosaur. Because you got it.”

Okay, so this actually is sound advice. Researcher Amy Cuddy gave a whole TED Talk about how our minds respond to our own body language, and how using confident body language can actually release chemicals in our brains that make us feel more powerful and self-assured. So "walk big" like you mean it is legit.

3. "Never put a skunk on a bus."

No idea what this means, but it's definitely solid wisdom.

4. "Think about the donuts of your day! Even if you cry a little, you can think about potato chips!"

I'm genuinely not sure if this is referencing real donuts or not, which is part of what makes it delightful advice. Metaphorically, "the donuts of your day" could be the positive things that happened, and focusing on those instead of the negative is basic positive thinking. Then again, if you cry and think about potato chips, perhaps he's just referencing comfort with food. Either way, totally feeling it.

5. "You gotta take a deep breath and you gotta do it again."

Pretty much every therapist from every psychological school of thought will tell you that breathing exercises are one of the quickest ways to calm your body and mind. Simple, but seriously sound advice.

6. "Even if it's a yucky day, you can get a hug."

Even though that sounds like a pretty typical thought for a kid, it's also good well-being advice. According to The Conversation, the chemicals released when we hug can help us manage stress, reduce anxiety and manage our emotions.

Smart kid.

He added one more piece of advice for good measure as well for those of us who tend toward distraction.

Like a little Confucius, this one.

Seriously, if you ever want to hear some of the most oddly profound things you'll ever hear in your life, spend some time interviewing a 4- or 5-year-old. They really do say the darnedest things. And if you're nervous about something, just keep telling yourself you're "brave of" it. If nothing else, it'll bring a smile to your face remembering this delightful thread.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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