Sandhya with other members at a home meet-up
South Asian women across the country are finding social support in a thriving Facebook group devoted to them.
The Little Brown Diary has over 40,000 members, primarily between the ages of 20 and 40, and 100 subgroups devoted to niche topics. Some of these include mental health, entrepreneurship, career advice, and more.
Members of the group can discuss their experiences as South Asians, inner conflicts they face, and even bond over their favorite hobbies. The Facebook group has become a safe place for many of its members to find support in the most transformative periods of their lives. These include:
“I joined the online community because I was looking for that sense of belonging and connection with others who shared similar experiences and backgrounds,” expressed Sandhya Simhan, one of the group admins.
“At the time, I was pregnant and eager to find other desi moms who could offer support, advice, and friendship during this significant life transition,” she says.
Another group admin, Henna Wadhwa, who works in Diversity and Inclusion in Washington, D.C., even uses the group to inspire new areas of research, including a study on ethnic-racial identity at work.
“I was surprised and excited for a group that brought together South Asian/brown women. I wanted to meet other women with similar research interests and who wanted to conduct academic research on South Asian American women,” Wadhwa says.
While social media isn’t always the best place to spend our time, studies show that the sense of community people get from joining online groups can be valuable to our mental health.
“The presence of LBD has allowed so many South Asian women to truly feel safe in their identity. The community we have built encourages each person to authentically and freely be themselves. It is a powerful sight to witness these South Asian women be vulnerable, break barriers, and support each other in their journeys,” says Wadhwa.
Hena and Neesha
According to an article in Psychology Today, a study on college students looked at whether social media could serve as a source of social support in times of stress. Turns out, these students were more likely to turn to their social media network rather than parents or mental health professionals for connection. The anonymity of virtual communities was also seen as appealing to those experiencing depression.
“The social support received in the online group promotes a sense of well-being and was associated with positive relationships and personal growth,” the article states.
This is why finding a community of like-minded individuals online can have such a positive impact in your life.
“There are almost half a million women in our target audience (millennial South Asians in North America) and about 10% of them are part of LBD. It’s been a game-changer for our community. LBD is all about embracing your true self and living your most authentic life. It's amazing to see how the members support, relate, learn, and lift each other,” says Wadhwa and Simhan.
A woman cooking up a nice pot of pasta.
Over the past few years, rising supermarket prices have forced many families to make compromises on ingredient quality when shopping for meals. A recent study published by Supermarket News found that 41% of families with children were more likely to switch to lower-quality groceries to deal with inflation.
By comparison, 29% of people without children have switched to lower-quality groceries to cope with rising prices.
Despite the current rising costs of groceries, O Organics has enabled families to consistently enjoy high-quality, organic meals at affordable prices for nearly two decades. With a focus on great taste and health, O Organics offers an extensive range of options for budget-conscious consumers.
O Organics launched in 2005 with 150 USDA Certified Organic products but now offers over 1,500 items, from organic fresh fruits and vegetables to organic dairy and meats, organic cage-free certified eggs, organic snacks, organic baby food and more. This gives families the ability to make a broader range of recipes featuring organic ingredients than ever before.
“We believe every customer should have access to affordable, organic options that support healthy lifestyles and diverse shopping preferences,” shared Jennifer Saenz, EVP and Chief Merchandising Officer at Albertsons, one of many stores where you can find O Organics products. “Over the years, we have made organic foods more accessible by expanding O Organics to every aisle across our stores, making it possible for health and budget-conscious families to incorporate organic food into every meal.”
With some help from our friends at O Organics, Upworthy looked at the vast array of products available at our local store and created some tasty, affordable and healthy meals.
Here are 3 meals for a family of 4 that cost $7 and under, per serving. (Note: prices may vary by location and are calculated before sales tax.)
O Organic’s Tacos and Refried Beans ($6.41 Per Serving)
Few dishes can make a family rush to the dinner table quite like tacos. Here’s a healthy and affordable way to spice up your family’s Taco Tuesdays.
Prep time: 2 minutes
Cook time: 20 minutes
Total time: 22 minutes
Ingredients:
1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)
1 packet O Organics Taco Seasoning ($2.29)
O Organics Mexican-Style Cheese Blend Cheese ($4.79)
O Organics Chunky Salsa ($3.99)
O Organics Taco Shells ($4.29)
1 can of O Organics Refried Beans ($2.29)
Instructions:
1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.
2. Add 1 packet of taco seasoning to beef along with water [and cook as directed].
3. Add taco meat to the shell, top with cheese and salsa as desired.
4. Heat refried beans in a saucepan until cooked through, serve alongside tacos, top with cheese.
O Organics Mexican-style blend cheese.via O Organics
O Organics Hamburger Stew ($4.53 Per Serving)
Busy parents will love this recipe that allows them to prep in the morning and then serve a delicious, slow-cooked stew after work.
Prep time: 15 minutes
Cook time: 7 hours
Total time: 7 hours 15 minutes
Servings: 4
Ingredients:
1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)
1 ½ lbs O Organics Gold Potatoes ($4.49)
3 O Organics Carrots ($2.89)
1 tsp onion powder
I can O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)
2 cups water
1 yellow onion diced ($1.00)
1 clove garlic ($.50)
1 tsp salt
1/4 tsp pepper
2 tsp Italian seasoning or oregano
Instructions:
1. Cook the ground beef in a skillet over medium heat until thoroughly browned; remove any excess grease.
2. Transfer the cooked beef to a slow cooker with the potatoes, onions, carrots and garlic.
3. Mix the tomato paste, water, salt, pepper, onion powder and Italian seasoning in a separate bowl.
4. Drizzle the mixed sauce over the ingredients in the slow cooker and mix thoroughly.
5. Cover the slow cooker with its lid and set it on low for 7 to 8 hours, or until the potatoes are soft. Dish out into bowls and enjoy!
O Organics baby gold potatoes.via O Organics
O Organics Ground Beef and Pasta Skillet ($4.32 Per Serving)
This one-pan dish is for all Italian lovers who are looking for a saucy, cheesy, and full-flavored comfort dish that takes less than 30 minutes to prepare.
Prep time: 2 minutes
Cook time: 25 minutes
Total time: 27 minutes
Servings: 4
Ingredients:
1 lb of O Organics Grass Fed Ground Beef ($7.99)
1 tbsp. olive oil
2 tsp dried basil
1 tsp garlic powder
1 can O Organics Diced Tomatoes ($2.00)
1 can O Organics Tomato Sauce ($2.29)
1 tbsp O Organics Tomato Paste ($1.25)
2 1/4 cups water
2 cups O Organics Rotini Pasta ($3.29)
1 cup O Organics Mozzarella cheese ($4.79)
Instructions:
1. Brown ground beef in a skillet, breaking it up as it cooks.
2. Sprinkle with salt, pepper and garlic powder
3. Add tomato paste, sauce and diced tomatoes to the skillet. Stir in water and bring to a light boil.
4. Add pasta to the skillet, ensuring it is well coated. Cover and cook for about 10 minutes, stirring occasionally.
5. Remove the lid, sprinkle with cheese and allow it to cool.
O Organics tomato basil pasta sauce and extra virgin olive oil.via O Organics
Viral argument over Mother's Day may have simple solution.
In the weeks leading up to Mother's Day, there have been several viral posts on social media about who Mother's Day actually belongs to. A younger mom started an intense debate when she posted a video saying that the holiday should only be celebrated by the young moms currently in the trenches. The woman doesn't believe that people should be required to spend the day with the "grandmas."
Clearly this stance caused a few feathers to be ruffled with older moms who might happen to be grandparents. There were arguments saying that moms don't stop being moms because their children are grown, so they too deserve to be celebrated. But through the comments of different posts making their points, a theme seemed to be developing.
There was an expectation of how things should be, whether it came from the older moms or the younger moms. There also seemed to be a lack of boundaries and clear communication. These are all things that can lead to misunderstandings and resentment.
On both sides of this viral disagreement are differing expectations. Younger moms are expecting to have a chance to be pampered while some may also be assuming their mothers and mother-in-laws are expecting the same, or at the very least expecting their adult children to visit them. Older moms are expecting recognition for the special day and some may also be expecting to be doted on by their adult children and grandchildren. Either way, both seem to be expressing unspoken and un-agreed-upon expectations.
When adult children have children, dynamics and priorities change in families. Now may be a good time to establish boundaries and new traditions around Mother's Day that better suit everyone's needs. Maybe there's no lugging multiple children from grandma to grandma on Mother's Day. That doesn't seem fun or relaxing to the mom of those grandchildren who likely just wants a break for the day.
Is Mother's Day for grandmothers as well?
Photo by Ekaterina Shakharova on UnsplashInstead think about setting a boundary while still honoring the grandmothers in your life. After all, motherhood doesn't end because your children grow up. Setting a boundary around this special day can sound like, "We're staying home on Mother's Day from now on, but the kids made you crafts and I have something for you. We will drop it off on Saturday."
This sort of boundary not only takes care of the expectation of both parties, but it also allows the grandmother to feel honored. There's not always a need for big flashy gifts. Most grandmothers would be thrilled to get a flower made out of their grandchild's handprint with a short poem expressing their love written on the bottom.
Mothers are mothers at all stages of motherhood.
Photo by Liana Mikah on UnsplashSome families value quality time over things, so instead of going from house to house, a new tradition can be started where your partner has a Mother's Day cookout or brunch. All the moms in the family get together in one spot and the emphasis is on the guys and kids waiting on the moms. This way moms still get to relax and grandmas still get to be included.
There's also the option of having Mother's Day festivities the weekend prior for grandmas so you don't have to feel pulled in multiple directions the day of. No matter which way you decide to go with this day dedicated to appreciating moms, make sure that you're clear with your expectations and boundaries. It's true that some people have a difficult time setting boundaries with their parents, but it's a necessary step if you want to have the kind of Mother's Day you envisioned.
This article was written by Jacalyn Wetzel, Licensed Clinical Social Worker and practicing therapist.
Does mom really need more cleaning supplies? Probably not.
Mother’s Day is drawing near, and for many gift givers that means rolling out the box mix pancake breakfast in bed or making a clumsy, yet sentimental handmade trinket.
But how do moms actually feel about the presents they’ve received on their special day? Online parenting resource BabyCenter asked, and moms of all kinds answered.
Below are some gifts that brought moms to tears—both tears of joy, and of, well, the other kind. May this list act as a source of inspiration or a humorous cautionary tale for well-intentioned partners and kiddos trying to celebrate Mom.
Let’s start off with some of the worst gifts…
"A toilet-bowl brush set and cleaning supplies."
— Anonymous
"A set of pots."
— Mildred, Canada
"A vacuum cleaner and breakfast in bed way too early."
— Karen, California
"My husband decided to go out of state on Mother's Day weekend, and it wasn't just for business. I was seven months pregnant with our second child."
— Rose, Michigan
"An apron."
— Carolyn
"A screen door."
— Kristin, Wisconsin
In general, cooking, cleaning and basic household supplies are a big no-no, unless mom has shown a specific interest in receiving them as gifts. Sure, practical gifts are great, but there are already too many overworked moms whose identity in the family is far too enmeshed with their ability to take on the domestic labor. There’s so much more to Mom than that, and Mother’s Day is an opportunity to recognize that.
This is the face of a mom who does not want to clean or cook on Mother's Day. Please and thank you.
Also, please don’t be this spouse:
"I asked my husband what we should do for my first Mother's Day. He looked a bit perplexed and said, 'Well, you're not my mother.'"
— Mollie, California
Or…
"My husband gave me the honor of keeping the flower that I bought for his mother!"
— Jennifer, North Carolina
Or…
"My husband gave me a card emblazoned with heart-shaped egg yolks on top of shattered shells that read, 'Thanks for donating your eggs.'"
— Mary, Maryland
Yikes And now, onto the best Mother’s Day gifts…
These gifts actually take mom into consideration.
"A picture frame that talks. My husband found a picture of our 3-year-old son and helped him record the message, 'I love you, Mommy.'"
— Anne, New York
"Gift certificates to a local spa."
— Susan, Canada
"A bottle of good scotch."
— Naomi, California
"My beautiful baby boy! He was born at 5:02 am last Mother's Day. And this Mother's Day, he took his first steps."
— Els-Mommy
"My daughter decorated a flower pot at preschool and then planted a flower in it. That flower is still growing beautifully, as is the child who planted it."
— Tracey, Canada
"The time my 3-year-old son slept until noon! I had a Sunday morning to myself to read the newspaper and drink my coffee while listening to him quietly sleeping."
— Sandra, Delaware
"On my first Mother's Day, my husband gave me a mother-and-baby charm with our daughter's birthstone in it. After our second daughter was born, he gave me another Mother's Day charm with both of our children's birthstones in it. I'm now pregnant with my third child, and am hoping for a third charm."
— Jodi, Michigan
"An ad in 'Newsday' wishing me a happy first Mother's Day."
— Tracy, New York
"A picture collage of my son's first year."
— Dee, Texas
Celebrate your unique bond with mom with a unique gift.
"A ruby ring."
— Terry, Illinois
"A shirt with my 22-month-old daughter's handprints and footprints."
— Amber, Florida
"A gift certificate for a weekend learn-to-surf clinic for women. Getting to spend a weekend having fun in the water was such a treat (and a killer workout)."
— Nancy, California
"A bright, homemade bracelet made of mix-and-match beads. I wore it all day, and I still have it in my jewelry box."
— Mildred, Canada
It’s easy to see why these choices were winners. They either give mom a much needed break or give her a memento to cherish. These are clearly intended to make her feel special and appreciated.
But just like no two moms are alike, there is no one-size-fits all approach when it comes to getting the perfect Mother’s Day gift. Thankfully, Leah Rocketto, BabyCenter’s associate commerce director, provided a few pointers.
First, gift etiquette differs between gift givers. For partners, gifts should “show appreciation, support, and acknowledgment of her transition into motherhood.” That can range from the sentimental, like a piece of jewelry with her baby’s birth stone, to something that encourages self-care, like an at-home back massager. It all depends on what mom wants as an individual. And Baby Center assures that “she won’t be mad if you ask for hints or suggestions!”
As for children looking to get mom a gift, the possibilities are endless, as long as they represent the unique bond shared between the two. Handmade crafts are totally welcome, as long as they come from the heart.
No two moms are alike. So there is no one-size-fits all approach when it comes to Mother's Day gifts.
There’s also the different stages of motherhood to consider, be it mothers-in-law, grandmothers, and moms of 3+ kids as well as new moms. Here’s what Rocketto suggests:
Mother-in-law: What you give your mother-in-law will vary depending on your relationship with her. If you’re not super close but still want to celebrate her, a card and flowers are a safe bet and will do just fine. If you’re closer, you can gift her an experience, like dinner at her favorite restaurant or a spa day for the two of you.
Grandmother: You can’t go wrong with a sentimental angle. A craft from her grandchild never disappoints, like an artistic rendition of a family tree from her grandchildren which can be a fun way to get them to create something that also leaves a lasting reminder for grandma of her family's love and legacy. If you want to add something from you, consider a piece of art or jewelry that acknowledges her transition from mother to grandmother. A plaque featuring the names and birth flowers of her children and grandchildren, for example, or a piece of jewelry with her grandchildren’s initials, are great options. You can also tap into nostalgia with a family photo album or scrapbook with doodles and notes from her grandchild in the margins.
New mom: First and foremost, do not give a new mom (or any mom) something for her child. This is, after all, a day to celebrate and show appreciation for her. Again, sentimental and customizable gifts will always win. A necklace with her baby’s birthstone, a bouquet of her baby’s birth flowers, or even a keepsake frame with a photo alongside her baby’s handprint or footprint. And while a trip to the spa or a night out are also good ideas, be mindful of the fact that not all new moms can easily schedule time outside of the house.
Gift-giving, when done thoughtfully, is a wonderful way to make someone feel truly loved. Hopefully this little guide helps you make the mom in your life experience that.