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Don't Believe In The War On Women? Would A Body Count Change Your Mind?
We send troops to Afghanistan but ignore this?
06.19.12
She broke it down into a simple formula.
Angela Duckworth speaking at a TED event.
Why is it that some people are high achievers who have a track record of success and some people never come close to accomplishing their dreams? Is it talent, luck, or how you were raised? Is it that some people are just gifted and have exceptional talents that others don't?
The good news is, according to psychologist Angela Duckworth, the most critical factor in being a high achiever has nothing to do with talent or intelligence. It’s how long you can keep getting back up after getting hit. She calls it “grit” and, according to Duckworth’s research, it’s the common denominator in high achievers across the board, whether it’s cadets at West Point or kids in a spelling bee. Duckworth goes into depth on the topic in her book Grit: The Power of Passion and Perseverance.
“The common denominator of high achievers, no matter what they’re achieving, is this special combination of passion and perseverance for really long-term goals,” Duckworth revealed on The Mel Robbins Podcast. “And in a word, it’s grit.”
“Partly, it’s hard work, right? Partly it’s practicing what you can’t yet do, and partly it’s resilience,” she continued. “So part of perseverance is, on the really bad days, do you get up again? So, if you marry passion for long-term goals with perseverance for long-term goals well then you have this quality that I find to be the common denominator of elite achievers in every field that I've studied."
When pressed to define the specific meaning of grit, Duckworth responded: “It’s these two parts, right? Passion for long-term goals, like loving something and staying in love with it. Not kind of wandering off and doing something else, and then something else again, and then something else again, but having a kind of North Star."
- YouTube www.youtube.com
For anyone who wants to achieve great things in life, grit is an attitude that one can develop for themselves that isn’t based on natural abilities or how well one was educated. Those things matter, of course, but having a gritty attitude is something someone can learn.
"I am not saying that there aren't genes at play because every psychologist will tell you that's also part of the story for everything and grit included,” Duckworth said. “But absolutely, how gritty we are is a function of what we know, who were around, and the places we go."
Grit is critical for people to become highly successful because it means that you stick with the task even when confronted with barriers. In every journey of taking an idea that you love and turning it into reality there is going to be what’s known as the dark swamp of despair—a place that you must wade through to get to the other side. It takes grit and determination to make it through the times when you fear that you might fail. If it were easy, then everyone could be high achievers.
The emotional journey of creating anything great goes through the dark swap of despair. pic.twitter.com/GlwozyARIM
— Vala Afshar (@ValaAfshar) October 30, 2024
Grit is what keeps people practicing in their room every night as teenagers and makes them an accomplished guitar player. Grit is what makes a basketball player the first one in the gym and the last to leave so that they make the starting lineup. Grit is knocking on the next door after 12 people have just slammed their doors in your face.
The wonderful thing about Duckworth’s work is that it presents an opportunity for everyone willing to do the work. You can no longer use the fact that you may not have specialized intelligence or a God-given talent as an excuse. All you need is perseverance and passion and you have as good a shot as anyone at achieving your dreams.
This article originally appeared last year.
"I thought he hated me."
Dead Poets Society was one of the most popular coming-of-age films of the late '80s, showcasing Robin Williams' acting range and launching several young actors into their Hollywood careers. But according to Ethan Hawke, who played the timid Todd Anderson (the student who stands on his desk first) in the film, the famous comedian didn't make his own job easy.
Hawke shared on The Graham Norton Show what working with Williams was like after Norton said he understood their on-set relationship to be "a bit fractious."
- YouTube www.youtube.com
Despite Williams' hilarious antics, the film wasn't a comedy. Hawke struggled with the constant improv in light of his own acting work.
"I really wanted to be a serious actor," he said. "You know, I had read Stanislavski, and I had what was supposed to be in my pockets, and I really, really wanted to be in character, and I really didn't want to laugh. And the more I didn't laugh, the more insane he got. And he'd make fun, 'Oh, this one doesn't want to laugh,' and the more smoke would come out of my ears. He didn't understand I was trying to do a good job…so I thought he hated me, because he just constantly would lay into me."
"It was from a big Hollywood agent. This guy says, 'I'm Robin Williams' agent, and he says that you're gonna be somebody, and that I should sign you.' And I was like, really? And so he got me my first agent, who's still my agent now."
Many stories of Williams' behind-the-scenes acts of kindness have come to light after his passing, so the fact he recommended Hawke unasked isn't too surprising. Knowing the context from Hawke's perspective, however, makes it all the more delightful.
Hawke spoke to Vanity Fair about his experience observing Williams and director Peter Weir interact on the Dead Poets Society set:
- YouTube youtu.be
Williams taught Hawke that a script isn't always set in stone.
“Robin Williams didn’t do the script, and I didn’t know you could do that," Hawke recalled. "If he had an idea, he just did it. He didn’t ask permission. And that was a new door that was opened to my brain, that you could play like that. And Peter liked it, as long as we still achieved the same goals that the script had."
“They had a very different way of working, but they didn’t judge one another or resist one another,” Hawke continued. “They worked with each other. That’s exciting. That’s when you get at the stuff of what great collaboration can do. You don’t have to be the same, but you don’t have to hate somebody for being different than you are. And then the collective imagination can become very, very powerful, because the movie becomes bigger than one person’s point of view. It’s containing multiple perspectives.”
- YouTube www.youtube.com
From sloppy joes to pizza bread, these dishes still slap.
A family enjoys dinner during the 1970s.
Generation X (those born between 1965-1980) grew up eating classic Americana meals. During the 1970s, comfort meals like tuna casserole and salmon roquettes were popular meals.
Gen X also grew up eating some pretty unhinged (but all the more yummy) sandwiches. These meals are steeped in childhood nostalgia.
And to this day, Gen Xers are still fond of their favorite dishes they grew up eating. Together, they discussed on Reddit their most-loved home-cooked dishes that they still whip up, starting with sloppy joes.
Here are 17 iconic Gen X comfort meals to keep in mind the next time you make dinner:
@genx_shawn 🤤😂 Top 10 Things ONLY GenX Knows the Taste Of... #genx #over50club #genxtiktok #over40 #genxcrew #generationx #genxers #genxtok #over40club #over50
"Breakfast. We will have a 'breakfast for dinner' at least a couple times a month. Yum!" - fadeanddecayed, KddKc
"Pizza bread! My mom would cut Italian bread into pieces, put butter and garlic salt on them, then pour some spaghetti sauce on them, cover with mozzarella cheese, and broil for like ten or fifteen minutes. Super easy and quick to make and so tasty. I'm sure my mom loved that I was so into something that took roughly zero effort for her to make." - hornybutired
"Grilled cheese and soup." - reincarnateme
"Meat loaf. I use 2 pounds ground beef, replace bread crumbs with minute rice, add 1 pkg beef soup flavoring, chop an entire onion for it, and mix BBQ sauce into mixture. Oh, important: do not overmix! Place all ingredients into bowl, then mix quickly 10 or 12 swirls of a large spoon. Grease loaf pan, carefully place mixture in, pat down & bake about an hour. (Extra info: for even better flavor, mix the night before, pat into loaf pan, cover with plastic, put into fridge overnight. Remove from fridge about an hour before baking. BE SURE TO REMOVE PLASTIC WRAP! [Esp. If in Pyrex glass loaf pan])" - jehardt, AbbyM1968
"White guy tacos." - najing_ftw
"Skillet dinner. Kielbasa, bell pepper, onion, spuds in a cast iron pan. One dish. Easy peasy." - UnimportantOutcome67
- YouTube www.youtube.com
"Chicken pot pie or chicken ala king." - sattersnaps
"Fried catfish, greens, and red beans and rice." - User Unknown
"Shepherds pie, technically cottage pie if it’s ground beef. Homemade enchiladas, usually made as a layered casserole instead because I don’t have time to roll them. Pork chops with mashed potatoes and veggies." - XerTrekker
"Fried rice with chicken or pork leftovers." - AlternativeResort181
"Hot hamburgers: hamburger patty open face on Texas toast thickness bread, cover with fries then cover that with brown gravy. Wife's variation is hamburger patty over rice with brown gravy." - EnricoMatassaEsq
@past_archives American Gen X Foods That Kids Today Can’t Understand#nostalgia #childhoodmemories #backtochildhood #90s #2000s #usa #80s #90skids #80schildhood #capcutforus #capcut #capcutpioneer #America
"Stuffed peppers. I make it much more easily by cooking it all in one large frying pan 'deconstructed'. Sauté onions garlic and ground beef, add cut up peppers, tomatoes or tomato sauce, sometimes a little spinach, then add separately cooked rice, salt and pepper and serve. It comes together pretty quickly and tastes just as good as stuffing and baking peppers in the oven." - Affectionate-Map2583
"Macaroni and cheese with cut up hot dogs. Seriously, that’s what I ate tonight." - Dazzling-Walrus9673
"Homemade Stroganoff casserole. Ridiculously easy to make. Ingredients:
1.25-1.5 lbs. Ground Beef
1 each of large white onion, green pepper, and red pepper
1 can mushroom pieces, drained and rinsed
12 oz. Bag of wide egg noodles
1 can cream of mushroom soup
16 oz. Sour cream
Worcestershire Sauce
Louisiana Hot Sauce
White or Black Pepper
Panko bread crumbs
To Make: Preheat oven to 360 degrees. Worcestershire, hot sauce, garlic powder, and pepper are all to taste, depending on how much flavor and punch you want it to have. Cook noodles per instructions. Drain. Peel and slice onion (not diced), core and cut peppers into strips Brown meat, onions and peppers along with liberal amount of Worcestershire; garlic, pepper, and hot sauce. Add mushrooms. Cook until meat is fully brown, onions are translucent and peppers are tender. Drain. Combine drained meat, etc. with whole can of soup, half of the sour cream. Gradually add noodles into the mix. Add sour cream as needed to maintain consistency. Add Worcestershire, hot sauce, and pepper to taste. Dump into large, deep Corning dish or whatever. Cover too with bread crumbs. Cover and bake for forty minutes." - CynfullyDelicious
This article originally appeared last year
One table was left spotless. The other was a mess.
Young people enjoying a big dinner
In March 2020, an 18-year-old waitress from Utah named Kaitlyn Brande (@katebrande) pointed her phone camera at two tables in her section and said exactly what she was thinking. The video was 20 seconds long. It hit 9.3 million views, got her reprimanded by her employer, and launched a generational argument that apparently has no expiration date, because here we are again.
The setup is simple. Brande pans to the first table, still scattered with plates, napkins, and leftover food. "Here's all I'm saying," she says. "This is a table of five boomers that I took some plates out of the way of already." Then she swings the camera to the table next to it, where every plate has been stacked neatly at one end, cups grouped together, trash consolidated. "This is a table of six Gen Zs. They did that. Just saying."
Her caption did the rest: "They get paid to do that" VS "We know restaurant life is hard, here, let us help you out."
@katebrande “They get paid to do that” VS “we know restaurant life is hard, here, let us help you out”
When the video hit 9.3 million views, corporate noticed. Brande deleted it. Then she quit the job and reposted it. In a BuzzFeed interview at the time, she was careful to clarify what she was and wasn't saying. "I'm not saying I expect people to ever stack their plates like that, because hey, I'm a person too," she told BuzzFeed. "All I'm saying is it was cool and helpful of the younger people, and I appreciated it." Her stated motivation was the irony of it: older generations tend to be the ones demanding respect from younger ones. "I posted it because I thought it was ironic since older people always expect respect," she said.

The comments, then and now, split in every direction. Some people praised the Gen Z table for the gesture. Others pushed back on the framing entirely, pointing out that stacking plates isn't automatically helpful, and can actually make a server's job harder depending on how it's done. @rayvenia wrote: "Half of your server squad would prefer the plates not stacked. You all need a handbook to get it together." @skyerose1213 the more measured version of that argument: "I was taught by the main dishwashers to always be cautious about how you stack, and leave it if you don't know how. However, there is a difference between cleaning up your area and 'leaving it.'"

Others bypassed the plate-stacking question and went straight to the generational read. @bhaobansidhe commented: "It doesn't matter even if they do get paid for it, it helps the staff out, especially if it is hella busy and they don't get as much money as you think." @mariannlws52, who identified as Gen X, wrote: "I have been cleaning up tables for waitstaff for decades. Not only is it helpful, but it's also the right thing to do." And some people on the other side simply noted that clearing tables is, in fact, part of the job description, and that customers shouldn't feel obligated to do it.
What keeps this video resurfacing every year or two isn't really about plates. It's about what those plates represent: who sees service workers as people doing a hard job under pressure, and who doesn't register them much at all. That's a question without a clean generational answer, which is probably exactly why nobody can stop arguing about it.
Kaitlyn Brande TikTok, boomers vs Gen Z restaurant, waitress table etiquette, generational debate TikTok, stacking plates restaurant, server etiquette viral, boomer Gen Z manners, restaurant worker TikTok, viral waitress video, dining etiquette generational YouTube
This article originally appeared earlier this year.
Most of the recipes were created out of poverty to provide families with a sweet treat.
Woman on a mission to bring back lost recipes has people gasping at vinegar pie.
People get very creative when it comes to cooking with limited ingredients and no budget. This combination is something people who lived through the Great Depression were very familiar with. It's also something Black Americans experienced frequently in the 1800s, but time has stolen many of the ingenious recipes. Until now.
One woman is on a mission to dig up these lost recipes for Black History Month. All February, Sonja Norwood, who runs the social media page for Wick'd Confections and owns Sonja Norwood Custom Cookies, has been baking up long-lost Black American recipes. Though the ingredients have folks scratching their heads, her videos clear things up by sharing each dish's history.
@wickdconfections Peanuts became a major Southern crop after the Civil War, and at Tuskegee Institute, George Washington Carver helped popularize peanuts as an affordable, soil-restoring crop with hundreds of uses. In Black Southern kitchens, that peanut power turned into breads, cookies, cakes, candy… and survival baking. During the Great Depression and WWII rationing, butter, eggs, and milk were often scarce. Peanut butter became the substitute for fat and protein, and peanut butter bread became a school-lunch staple and family recipe passed down through generations. Serve warm with a nostalgic molasses glaze and you’ll understand why this deserves a comeback 🤎 🥜 Peanut Butter Bread (One-bowl, no eggs, no butter) Ingredients 1 ¾ cups all-purpose flour (220 g) ½ cup granulated sugar (100 g) ¼ cup brown sugar (50 g) 1 tbsp baking powder ½ tsp salt 1 cup milk (240 ml) ¾ cup creamy peanut butter (190 g) 1 tsp vanilla extract Optional topping: 2 tbsp sugar Instructions 1️⃣ Preheat oven to 350°F / 175°C. Grease a 9×5 loaf pan. 2️⃣ Whisk flour, sugars, baking powder, salt. 3️⃣ Add milk, peanut butter, vanilla. Mix until just combined. 4️⃣ Spread into pan, sprinkle sugar if using. 5️⃣ Bake 50–60 min until toothpick comes out clean. 6️⃣ Cool 15 min, remove, slice. ✨ Molasses Glaze 2 tbsp butter (28 g) 3 tbsp molasses (45 ml) 2 tbsp milk (30 ml) 1 cup powdered sugar (120 g) ¼ tsp vanilla + pinch salt Optional: pinch cinnamon or ginger Melt butter, whisk in molasses + milk until warm. Remove from heat and whisk in powdered sugar until smooth. Stir in vanilla and salt. #BlackHistory #BlackHistoryn#TikTokLearningCampaign##FoodHistorye#VintageRecipes
Norwood tried her hand at vinegar pie, and just like viewers of the video, the baker was unsure how the dessert would turn out:
"Vinegar pie, also known as desperation pie, is classified as a pantry or make-do pie. As you can tell, this pie was born out of necessity, when fruit or citrus lemons were hard to come by. Home cooks used what they had on hand. Simple pantry staples to make something sweet, like sugar, eggs, butter, flour, and salt. A lot of people associate vinegar pie with the Great Depression, when fresh fruit was super expensive and scarce, but recipes go back much further. As early as 1855."
@wickdconfections Navy Bean Pie 🥧✨ A true heritage dessert with deep roots in Black American food culture. This traditional navy bean pie has a smooth, firm custard texture — rich, lightly spiced, and beautifully sliceable without hours of chilling. Simple ingredients, timeless flavor, and a recipe shaped by community and history. 🥧 Classic Navy Bean Pie (9-inch) Texture: traditional • smooth • firm custard • faster set Crust • 1 (9-inch) pie crust (homemade or store-bought) Filling • 1½ cups cooked navy beans (300 g) OR 1 (15-oz) can, drained & rinsed • ¾ cup unsalted butter, melted (170 g) • 1 cup evaporated milk (240 ml) • 4 large eggs • 1 cup granulated sugar (200 g) • 2 tbsp all-purpose flour (15 g) • 1 tbsp cornstarch (8 g) • 1 tbsp vanilla extract • 1 tsp cinnamon • ½ tsp nutmeg • ½ tsp salt ⭐ If using canned beans (flavor boost) • Rinse well • Simmer in fresh water 5–10 minutes • Drain completely Instructions 1️⃣ Preheat oven to 350°F / 175°C 2️⃣ Blend beans until completely smooth and creamy 3️⃣ Whisk butter, sugar, eggs, milk, vanilla, spices, flour, and cornstarch 4️⃣ Stir in blended beans until smooth 5️⃣ Pour into crust and smooth top 6️⃣ Bake 45–55 minutes (edges set, center barely jiggles) 7️⃣ Cool 1 hour at room temp, chill 1 hour for clean slices Slice, serve, and enjoy ✨ #BlackHi#BlackHistoryn#LearnOnTikToke#BeanPies#FoodHistoryalCooking
"Black cooks in the South and the Midwest adapted pantry-based dishes like this into their family food culture," Norwood shares while mixing ingredients. "So you were going to see this pie at Sunday dinner and on special occasions, and it doesn't taste the way you think a vinegar pie would taste. The acidity cuts through the sweetness and mimics lemon pie without the fruit."
@wickdconfections Lost Black American Recipes: Vinegar Pie 🥧 To kick off Black History Month, I’m starting a series honoring lost and forgotten Black American recipes—beginning with vinegar pie. Also known as desperation pie or pantry pie, this dessert was born from necessity. When fruit and citrus were scarce, home cooks used simple pantry staples to create something sweet, comforting, and joyful. Made with sugar, eggs, butter, and a splash of apple cider vinegar, vinegar pie has a flaky crust and a rich custard filling. The vinegar doesn’t make it sour—it adds brightness, mimicking the tang of fruit and balancing the sweetness. It’s a reminder of how Black foodways transform struggle into creativity and care. 🖤 Vinegar Pie Recipe (9-inch pie): 4 eggs ½ cup sugar ½ cup brown sugar ½ tsp vanilla 6 tbsp butter, melted 2 tbsp apple cider vinegar 2 tbsp honey 2 tbsp flour ¾ tsp salt Unbaked 9-inch pie crust Blind bake crust at 350°F (175°C). Whisk remaining ingredients until smooth, pour into crust, and bake 35–45 minutes. The center should still wobble slightly when gently shaken. Cool completely and dust with powdered sugar. Follow along as we honor Black history through food—one lost recipe at a time. #BlackHistoryMonth #BlackAmericanFood #LostRecipes #BlackFoodHistory #FoodReels
Another says, "This looks so good! My grandma is 93 born & raised in Georgia and she swears by this pie & buttermilk pie. She watched this & just kept saying 'yup, yup' so I know it’s good."
This person appreciates the history: "I appreciated acknowledging that it came out of necessity and that you don't have to like it. Sometimes people have to make due with what they have and it's not always what you necessarily want."
@wickdconfections Lost Black American Recipes: Blackberries & Dumplings 🍇🥟 Blackberries and dumplings is a sweet summertime dish rooted in Black American food culture. When sugar and money were scarce, the land provided. Black families relied on foraging, gathering blackberries that grew freely along fence lines, woods, and roadsides across the South. What began as necessity became tradition — turning simple ingredients into a communal, nourishing meal. Passed down orally and cooked intuitively, this dish was rarely written into cookbooks. Flour stretched what little was available, dumplings absorbed the berry juices, and one pot could feed many for very little. Though we still see cobblers today, blackberries and dumplings remain a largely forgotten seasonal treat — one deeply connected to land, resilience, and care. Blackberries & Dumplings Recipe Blackberry Syrup: 4 cups blackberries 1 cup sugar 2 cups water 1 tbsp lemon juice Lemon zest Dumplings: 2 cups flour ¼ cup sugar 1½ tsp baking powder ½ tsp salt ¼ tsp nutmeg ¾ cup milk 1 egg 1 tsp vanilla Simmer blackberries with sugar, water, lemon juice, and zest until juicy. Mix dumpling dough until it feels right. Drop spoonfuls into simmering berries, don’t stir, cover and cook 15 minutes. Uncover and simmer 5 more minutes. Serve warm with plenty of syrup. Follow along as I honor Black history through lost recipes — one pot at a time. #BlackHistory #TikTokLearningCampaign #BlackAmericanFood #LostRecipes #FoodHistory
4 eggs
½ cup sugar
½ cup brown sugar
½ tsp vanilla
6 tbsp butter, melted
2 tbsp apple cider vinegar
2 tbsp honey
2 tbsp flour
¾ tsp salt
Unbaked 9-inch pie crust
Blind bake crust at 350°F (175°C). Whisk remaining ingredients until smooth, pour into crust, and bake 35–45 minutes. The center should still wobble slightly when gently shaken. Cool completely and dust with powdered sugar.