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9 things this adoptive mom would like everyone to know.

The adoptions of my two children are, quite literally, the two best things that have happened to me.

Ever. In my whole life. Nothing has altered the course of my life or meant more to me than becoming a mom to my kids.

My son, Mattix, and me when we met in December 2007.

Before them, I didn’t really understand what unconditional love was, nor did I have a clue how it felt. Now I know — twice over.

My daughter, Molley, and me, when we met in April 2009.

Adoption is amazing. And it’s complicated. It can bring great joy. And it can bring great pain.

Adoption is nuanced. And like anything else, it can be hard to see those nuances when it's not part of your life. That's particularly true when the media is so good at circulating adoption narratives that are a little problematic — like the baby left under the Christmas tree for his siblings to discover.

Photo by Clayton Shonkwiler/Flickr.

I get why people thought it was sweet: A precious new life was placed into an obviously loving family. But I still cringed. Partly because it felt uncomfortably similar to buying the kids a puppy for Christmas. And partly because it made me think of the commodification and trafficking of humans, which unfortunately happens sometimes in the world of adoption.

Thankfully, there are some really great adoption stories that circulate, too — like the one where a grandma lost her mind with excitement when she met her granddaughter for the first time. Beautiful! Most loving grandmas tend to experience unadulterated joy when they first lay eyes on their grandkids.

GIF via Laura Dell/YouTube.

As with most of the important things in life, talking about adoption is complicated.

But at the heart of it is something really simple: More than anything, we want our kids to grow into adults who are respected as the complex and unique individuals they are. Not just representatives of the "adopted kid" stories we see all the time.

There are many, many things I’d love for everyone to know about adoption. Here are nine of them, from an adoptive parent's perspective.

1. My kids are "my own."

"But are you going to, you know, have any kids of your own?”

Most people who ask this question have good intentions. They want to know if my husband and I are planning on having any biological kids. It’s a wording issue for most adults, but for kids who are struggling with attachment or working to feel secure in their families, those words matter.

When you ask this in front of kids who were adopted, you might be shaking an already unstable foundation the family has worked hard to build.

Adopting our kids was our "Plan A." We didn't want to have biological kids.

For other families, adoption may have followed a long struggle with infertility and it can be a painful question for them, especially coming from a stranger or casual acquaintance.

That said, know that...

2. Adoptive parents are approachable!

It's true that we don't appreciate being asked super-personal questions about adoption, especially in front of our kids. But that’s pretty much like most personal topics in life, right? Asking random questions — especially of a stranger — to satisfy your curiosity probably isn’t cool.

For instance, please don’t ask how much our kids "cost" or where we "got" them. A two-second google search for "how much does adoption cost," for example, will provide the info you need. I promise.

Asking respectfully because you really want to learn or have an interest in adopting yourself? That’s a different story.

I’m not an unapproachable lady (I'm even fun at parties!). I’ve been a resource for many people wanting to learn about adoption. I've given my phone number to complete strangers who want to adopt and would like to learn more. The best questions begin with, "Would you mind if I asked you a few questions about adoption?"

That gives me a chance to say "no" if my kids are there or if it doesn’t feel like a good time for me. That also lets me know that if you ask something I don’t feel comfortable sharing, I can say, "I’d rather not talk about that" — and you’ll understand.

3. Yep, we’re all real.

“Do you know who your kids’ real parents are?”

I know what you mean — you’re asking if I know who my kids’ birth parents are. It’s not that I’m offended by the question, thinking that you’re implying I’m not real. My kids’ birth parents most certainly are real.

But the last time someone asked that in front of my sweet then-7-year-old son, he looked at me, the usually bright smile fading from his face, and asked in a quiet voice, "What does she mean? You’re my real mom too. Nobody can take me from you…" — long pause — "... right, Mommy?"

Of course, he knows the answer to that. We’ve been talking about adoption since, well, since the day he came home at 10 and a half months old. Back then, it was me talking about adoption to a baby that didn’t understand. I figured I’d start then to ensure we never stopped talking. And we haven’t.

But a child’s feelings about adoption change over time. So can their sense of security. And having their place in their family questioned at the wrong time can feel pretty unsettling to child who’s in the process of making sense of some of those feelings.

4. My kids' histories belong to them.

Sometimes the details of a child's history are simple. Sometimes they're pretty complicated. And, quite frankly, they're private.

Some birth parents place their children for adoption because they’re not ready for a baby. Some place because they’ve been coerced or pressured into it. Some place because of medical issues — either theirs or the child's. Some place because they don't know how they can afford a baby and there aren't enough services in place to assist them. Some place against their will because they're incarcerated. Occasionally, some truly don't want their kids.

Sometimes we have no idea who our kids' birth parents are or why they placed them for adoption. Sometimes our kids were abandoned. Sometimes our kids came from the foster care system and their family histories are very complicated.

Whatever the reason, it's not something we want to go around chitchatting about with anyone who's curious.

5. We might parent quite differently than you do.

It doesn't mean we're weird. Or coddling. Or over-parenting. Or trying to prove anything.

We’re just trying to give our kids what they need and deserve.

Adoptive parents have to learn about a bunch of things their children could face, and we have to learn how to best parent our kids. Attachment parenting, healing from trauma, sensory processing disorder, and many other phrases become more than just words for a lot of us. When we decide to adopt our kids, most of us put our hearts and souls into doing what's best for them. Sometimes what's best isn't necessarily what most other parents do. That’s OK.

I got up every half-hour all night long with both of my kids for at least six months after we adopted each one. I didn’t do it because I loved being a sleep-deprived zombie that would have traded a kidney for a solid week of sleep. I did it because in my son’s 10 months of life before us, nobody ever got up for him at night. He had learned, rightfully so, never to believe someone would. And when we were finally there to do it, he didn’t trust us. We had to work hard to earn that trust.

I went to my daughter all night long because she desperately wanted me to, but was terrified that I wouldn’t. The people who looked at me, exhausted beyond words, and told me I should just let my kids cry it out had no idea how hard we were working to build a foundation of trust. Ultimately, we were doing it so our kids could grow into adults capable of having healthy friendships and relationships with others.

Plus, isn’t that kind of a cardinal rule of parenting: Don’t offer advice unless it’s solicited?!

6. Those of us who have adopted transracially aren’t suddenly "super sensitive about race."

For 26 years, I lived in a blissfully comfortable color-blind bubble of ignorance. When I decided to adopt children transracially, I began educating myself and came to understand the world doesn’t work for people of color the way it works for me. Now that I’m a mom to two kids of color, I’m committed to being their advocate. I’m committed to being the person they know will always stand up for them when someone at school hurls a racial slur. I’m committed to calling out friends and family members for jokes they might think are harmless.

It’s not about being politically correct or raining on people’s fun parades. It’s about making sure that the world around our kids is as supportive as it possibly can be.

7. It's complicated.

There are three people (or groups of people) who are part of adoption: those who are adopted, those who place their children for adoption, and those who do the adopting. All of those people have feelings and experiences, and they might conflict. That’s OK!

My kids missing their birth parents and wishing they hadn’t lost their cultures, for example, doesn’t mean they love my husband and me any less. My wishing that my kids didn’t have to deal with the pain of loss doesn’t diminish the feelings of pure gratitude and joy I experience over getting to be their mom.

8. One of us doesn’t speak for all of us.

While some things in adoption are pretty universal, one adoptive parent doesn’t speak for them all. Which means that I’m well aware that not every adoptive parent will agree with everything I’ve written here.

And not a single one of us can speak for birth parents or adoptees. We can do our best to lend our voices to our kids as we’re raising them, but when it comes to sharing life from birth parents’ or our kids’ perspectives, that’s not our place.

9. We’re like any other parent in most ways.

I’m pretty normal (whatever that means). I have good days and bad days — days where I think, "Oh my gawd, if my child talks back one more time, I’m going to lose my mind!" And days where I think, "I couldn’t possibly be happier. This is everything."

Like every good parent out there, at the end of the day, we just want the best for our kids. And we’re doing everything we can to make it happen.

My totally adorable kids. And yep, I'm biased! ;)

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Land O'Lakes
Land O'Lakes® products are made from milk sourced directly from member-owned farms, including butters, cheeses, spreads and other dairy staples loved by consumers for cooking, baking and snacking
Community

Land O’Lakes and Clove are filling the nation’s food banks with much-needed butter and shoes

Land O’Lakes and Clove are teaming up to bring comfort to communities in need.

True

Food banks are a community staple for millions of Americans. Not only do they provide nutritional assistance to low-income families, they’re also often one of the few places where people can get non-food essentials like diapers, toiletries, paper towels, clothing and more. For the 44 million people in the United States facing food insecurity, pantries can literally be a lifeline.

But that lifeline is at risk. Food pantries rely on donations, both from individuals and government programs, to stay stocked. Rising poverty levels and budget cuts mean that food pantries sometimes can’t meet the demands of their communities—and as a result, families go without.

No person should struggle for basic needs—which is why Land O’Lakes is teaming up with Clove in the name of comfort ahead of the 2025 holiday season.

Comfort, meet comfort.

A partnership between a farmer-owned cooperative and a modern footwear brand might seem like an unusual pairing. But the reality is that both organizations provide things that are enjoyable and much needed for American families.

You might be surprised to learn, for example, that dairy is one of the most requested but least-donated items at food banks around the nation. From a nutritional lens, dairy is a source of high-quality protein that provides 3 of 4 nutrients—calcium, potassium and vitamin D—that low-income households are at risk of missing from their diets.

But on a larger scale, dairy provides comfort. Items like butter, milk and cream are in high demand, particularly around the end of the year since so many families use these items for baking holiday treats. And while shoes can be stylish gifts, they’re also a basic necessity for hardworking frontline workers who provide care for others and spend hours on their feet. In fact, 96 million people in the U.S. spend their work shift standing.

"We are so excited to collaborate with Clove Shoes and take a moment to celebrate the color of the moment, but also our everyday favorite, butter yellow," said Heather Anfang, president of Land O'Lakes Dairy Foods. "As a company who shares our values of community, hard work and comfort, we are thrilled for the launch of their shoe but also for our shared donation to those in need in an important area for our two brands in Philadelphia."

Meaningful giving when people need it most

Together, the organizations have donated dozens of sneakers and more than 3,750 pounds of butter to Philabundance, one of the largest food banks in Philadelphia and part of Feeding America’s nationwide network of food banks, pantries, and meal programs. As they team up to donate needed supplies, they’re also helping families feel nourished—inside and out—ahead of the cold winter months.

"As a Philadelphia-based brand, we’re proud to give back to the community we call home—nourishing our city and supporting those who care every day," shares Jordyn Amoroso, Co-founder and CBO. Clove has also gifted 88 shoes to the students enrolled at Philabundance Community Kitchen: a free, life-changing workforce development program run by Philabundance.

At a time when so many are stretched thin and families are moving into the holiday season facing food insecurity, collaborations like these can provide an unexpected value—a chance to revitalize local communities, to nourish families, and show how comfort can take many different forms.

Learn more about this unexpected partnership here.

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Learning

27 English words people have a hard time enunciating properly, even native speakers

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky."

Image via Canva/Povozniuk

English words that are difficult to enunciate.

The English language is hard to master, even for native speakers. With over an estimated one million words in the language, not only are English words hard to memorize—they can be hard to properly pronounce and enunciate. Getting tripped up with pronunciation can make your communication unclear, or worse—make you sound uneducated.

As American English teacher Vanessa explains, many mispronounced words are common and used in daily conversation due to tricky consonants and vowels in English words. But by knowing the proper pronunciation, it can help you become a more confident speaker, which is why she shared 33 words that are hard for English language learners to pronounce, such as "probably," "drawer," and "sixth."

On the subreddit r/words, a person posed the question: "What's a word you've noticed many native English speakers have difficulty enunciating even though the word is used fairly often?"

Turns out, there are a menagerie of words people notoriously stumble over. These are 27 English words that people say are the hardest to enunciate.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Tricky 'R' words

"The word I notice people struggle with is 'vulnerable'. Something about that N following an L is tricky." - common_grounder

"Rural." - Silent-Database5613

“'Nucular' for nuclear." - throwawayinthe818

"Remuneration v renumeration (first one is correct)." - RonanH69

"February. It sounds like you're pronouncing it like it's spelled Febuary. But it's spelled February." - SDF5-0, ShadedSpaces

"Mirror. Some people pronounce it 'meer'." - weinthenolababy, diversalarums

"Anthropomorphize is a word I have to use semi-frequently with limited success each attempt." - ohn_the_quain

"I can’t say the phrase 'rear wheel' without considerable effort." - ohn_the_quain

"Eraser (erasure, but they're talking about the pink rubber thing)." - evlmgs

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Multiple syllables

"Exacerbated vs exasperated." - SNAFU-lophagus

"'Asterisk'. A lot of people wind up inadvertently name-checking Asterix. I think it's best for those who struggle to use the alternative name for that punctuation mark, the 'Nathan Hale', after the American patriot who famously declared, 'I can only regret that I have but one asterisk for my country!'" - John_EightThirtyTwo

"I realized recently I have always mispronounced mischievous. It's mis-chiv-us, not mis-chee-vee-us. I don't know if I've ever heard anyone pronounce that correctly." - callmebigley"

'Supposebly' [supposedly]. Drives me up the wall." - BlushBrat

"Library. My coworker knows I hate it, so he’ll say Liberry every time." - Jillypenny"ET cetera, not 'ect' cetera. I think people are used to seeing the abbreviation etc and since there is no diphthong tc in English their mind bends it into ect." - AdFrequent4623

"The amount of people who say Pacific when they're trying to stay specific is pretty alarming. I'm not even sure if they know it's a different word sometimes." - Global-Discussion-41

"Then there was my old boss who would confidently and consistently use the word tenant when he meant tenet." - jaelith"

"Probably." - Rachel_Silver

"Contemplate. It's one of those word I hear people stumble over more than anything, often it comes out as Comtemplate, Contempate or a combination of both." - megthebat49

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Foods

"Turmeric. People drop the first R. It drives me nuts!" - Jillypenny

"Oh, and it’s espresso, no X [ex-presso]." - Jillypenny

"Also cardamom with an N." - nemmalur

"Pumpkin (punkin)." - evlmgs

espresso, espresso gif, sipping espresso, espresso drink, drinking espresso sipping modern family GIF Giphy

Awkward vowels

"Crayon 👑. My ex pronounced it 'cran'. Drove me up a wall." - rickulele, premeditatedlasagna

'Mute' for moot. A good friend of mine, who's extremely intelligent and articulate otherwise, says that. Unfortunately, it's a word she likes to use. I haven't had the heart to tell her she's pronouncing it incorrectly, and it's been three decades." NewsSad5006, common_grounder

"Jewelry." - weinthenolababy

"I hear grown adults calling wolves woofs and they're not doing it to be funny." - asexualrhino

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Joy

People share 10 subtle signs that someone has a genuinely kind heart

"You can tell someone's heart by how they treat fragile things."

via Canva/Photos

A woman helping an elderly woman.

Even the worst person you know has a moment or two when they do something thoughtful for someone, and show that they may have a kind heart somewhere deep inside. But how do we know when people are being good out of the kindness of their hearts, or when they're trying to appear kind because they have some agenda? Or if they are people-pleasing to avoid social rejection?

All of us need to develop a good Spidey sense for when people are being genuine with their kindness—especially if they are someone we are considering building a closer relationship with. It seems that one of the tell-tale signs that someone is being genuinely kind is when they do something for someone who can’t do anything for them. It’s truly a selfless act, and not transactional.

A Redditor asked people on the AskReddit forum to share how they can “instantly tell if someone has a good heart,” and they shared simple gestures that show someone genuinely cares for others.

caring, kindness, green glag, kind heart, good heart, wheelchair A woman helping a woman in a wheelchair.via Canva/Photos

10 signs that someone can 'instantly' tell that someone has a good heart

1. Kind without exception

"Reminds me of one of my favourite TV quotes: 'Always try to be nice, but never fail to be kind.'"

"There's this friend that every time I say something nice (which is like all the time) she says something in the style of 'are you just saying that to be nice,' as if I don't mean every word that comes out of my mouth. I think we all ought to be as kind as possible to everyone in a genuine way, no exceptions."

2. They include the quiet people

"When they notice the quiet person in the room and make sure that they are also included without making it a big deal."

"When I was younger and in High School, a friend did this for me. I used to sit alone whenever lunch rolled around. I had the “weird” group always wanting me to sit with them, but some days I really just didn’t want to. I didn’t fit in with them, but sometimes it was better than being alone. I remember the first time he ever included me—we were in a computer science class, and I wouldn’t talk to anyone. But he kept trying, and eventually I ended up sitting with them at the lunch table. It was such a relief, and it genuinely made me so happy down to my core. Looking back, I see him as an angel; he saved me from loneliness. He was such an amazing dude."

3. Treats everyone the same

"Treats people with less power or status with the same respect they show to those above them."

"I guess when they treat everyone with respect regardless of their status or what they can give in return, like being kind to servers."

People often say you can tell if someone is a good person by how nice they are to the server at a restaurant. Those who are rude to the server show that they have no problem being rude to people they deem beneath them.

kindness, good heart, green flag, ice cream, children, bench A young girl sharing her ice cream.via Canva/Photos

4. They care for the elderly

"When they slow down for an elderly person without being asked. Saw this with my grandma once - a stranger just matched her pace with her groceries, no rush, no phone. My granny told me after: 'You can tell someone's heart by how they treat fragile things.'"

5. They love your dog

"When they smile at my dog when we walk by."

"Reminds me of a time I was out walking my Golden Retriever. It’s late, as we walk through downtown on a Friday night. This group of Young drunk guys walk towards us. I’m starting to be a bit nervous as I’m alone and they are quite loud and looks quite buff. But suddenly one of them yells 'OMG!? A GOLDEN RETRIEVER!' He runs towards my dog, falls to his knees in front of her and plants the biggest gentle kiss on her forehead. He proceeds to overly praise, hug and pet her while speaking in a baby/cooing tone. The other guys just stare at him in disbelief. While he pets my dog he tells me about how much he just loves animals, my dog who is usually quite reserved is melting in his arms like butter. I just know deep down this kid is such a good person because of how he acted that night and because of how my dog instantly picked up on his energy."

Even though sensitive people who care for others often have a special place in their hearts for animals, there is a group of people who absolutely love animals but don't have a lot of positive feelings towards humans: narcissists. Pet owners who are high in the narcissism trait may love their furry friends because they see them as a reflection of themselves, while at the same time, seeing their relationships with people as little more than transactional.

6. They help the server

"When they stack their dishes at a table to help waiters/waitresses."

"Same here, I used to work in hospitality, nothing worse than having to reach for the plates on long tables. It was always so appreciated when they did it themselves."


homeless, unhoused, kindness, goodness, green flag A man helping a homeless person.via Canva/Photos

7. They expect nothing in return

"The good people give of themselves, but other good people notice it and make sure they give back to that person."

"Kindness that doesn’t need an audience. Especially nowadays because of social media."

If you are the type of person who gives to others and has a sense that you deserve something in return, the good news is that you can change into someone who gives without expecting anything back. ThriveWorks said the best way to learn that skill is to give with the intention of serving someone's specific needs, while being wary of takers who never contribute to others. When one becomes accustomed to giving without expecting anything in return, they begin to take joy in the act rather than feeling stressed out that they aren't being compensated.

8. The look on their face

"Their face. It's weird, but I often notice right away a pure/white heart by seeing it in their face. I don't even know how to describe it, it's a kind of genuine aura coming from their eyes or smile."

"I agree somewhat. But someone could also be kind but look unkind by their resting face, or could be affected at that moment by a negative emotional/mental state but it’s not an accurate way to judge how they treat others. The meanest looking person can be soft on the inside and the friendliest looking person can be internally vicious."

9. They know how to console people

"When I was 21, my dad died unexpectedly. The next day, to try to maintain some normalcy, I went to a friend’s birthday party. His new girlfriend, who I had never met before, was there. I told them about how my dad had passed without notice and I was having a hard time with it. Later that night I found a spot on a couch in another room and put my face in my hands, not sure if I was going to cry or not. My friends new girlfriend walked in the room with a glass of water. She sat next to me and scratched my back for a long time. It was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me and that young lady had a magnificent heart."

10. Kind with nothing to gain

"When they show kindness in moments where it gains them nothing like being patient with someone struggling, helping quietly without needing recognition, or treating service workers with the same respect as anyone else. The small, genuine gestures always reveal the biggest hearts."

"When a stranger sees you hurting and takes the time to see if you're ok."

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Animals & Wildlife

A fun personality test determines 'how you love' based on your animal archetype

Are you a lion, a beaver, an otter, or a golden retriever?

Phtoo Credit: https://www.canva.com/photos

An otter, a lion, a golden retriever, a beaver

In the never-ending quest to understand ourselves better, or at least have just one more distraction from whatever it is we should be doing, here comes the animal personality test. And the craziest part is (at least for me), it's kind of accurate.

The truth is, these days anyone can create their own personality tests. (And they do… and I've taken them.) Which Sex and the City character are you? Who is your inner Marvel superhero? What color is your heart? (Carrie, Ant Man, and black respectively.)

But this particular animal archetype quiz, in actuality, is a model developed in the late 90s by Gary Smalley, an author with a psychology background and a PhD in counseling. Co-created by author John Trent, the two wrote a book called The Two Sides of Love: The Secret to Valuing Differences. The idea is to strike a balance between the tender, "soft" side of love and the "hard," more direct side. After taking the quiz provided in the book (and now online), one can find out if their temperament is the lion, the beaver, the otter, or the golden retriever.

Even though it was written as a love-based tool, this personality test is often mentioned in the corporate world as a way to find out how people relate in the workforce. Jasper Rose, a financial recruiting agency, shared the quiz on their website, but notes, "This model should be taken with a pinch of salt. These animal categories describe the natural leaning of your temperament. In other words, they aren’t entirely fixed, as personalities are flexible and change over time, and people are complex." (So something an otter would say.)

Without further ado, the personality test can be taken (among many places) through this Michigan State University worksheet here:

personality test, lion, beaver, otter, golden retriever Gary Smalley and John Trent's personality testPhoto Credit: Michigan State University

As with most personality tests, these questions can be tricky, as many times more than one answer will apply. For example, one question asks that you rank what best describes you from the following: "likes authority, enthusiastic, sensitive feelings, likes instructions." Another: "Takes charge, takes risks, loyal, accurate." It's possible to relate to all four statements equally, making this a flawed test.

But if you're in it for a lighthearted look at something that may vaguely describe you, here's a breakdown of the results:

THE LION

lion, personality, fierce, strong, animal A lion roams. Giphy GIF by Savage Kingdom, Nat Geo

These, according to the test, are the natural-born leaders. They are confident, take-charge, strong, and independent. From the Jasper Rose website:

"Strengths: visionary, persistent, practical, productive, initiates change and projects, communicates directly, enjoys being challenged, strong-willed, independent, decisive, leader.

Weaknesses: Insensitive/cold, sarcastic, self-sufficient, impatient, stubborn, overlooks risks, controlling at times, can be too direct."

An educational worksheet on the Community Engaged Learning website (Michigan State University) adds that lions, "are great at initiating communication, but not great at listening." They add their natural desires are "freedom, authority, variety, difficult assignments, opportunity for advancement."

THE OTTER

otter, personality, silly, cute, animal An otter is surprised. Giphy GIF by Nashville Tour Stop

These are our happy social types. "They are often energetic and enthusiastic, with a tendency to be playful and enjoy humor. Otters are generally creative and enjoy trying new things but may struggle with follow-through. They value relationships and are often empathetic and compassionate towards others."

"Strengths: Outgoing, optimistic, personable, communicator, dreamer, responsive, warm, friendly, talkative, enthusiastic, compassionate.

Weaknesses: Undisciplined, unproductive, exaggerative, egocentric, unstable, struggle with follow-through, impulsive, needs social approval, easily offended."

The Center for Relationship Education adds, "Otters find it easy to be soft on people. It is also easy for them to be soft on problems. Otters need to learn to say ‘No’ and provide the hard-side balance of healthy boundary setting."

THE BEAVER

beaver, animal, personality type, snacks, cute Beaver enjoying a snack. Giphy GIF by San Diego Zoo Wildlife Alliance

These are our go-tos for decisive, detail-oriented people who actually enjoy structure and routine. "Beavers tend to be cautious and risk-averse, preferring to follow established procedures rather than taking chances. They are also known for their analytical skills and ability to organize complex information. However, they may struggle with flexibility and creativity, and may sometimes be perceived as overly critical."

"Strengths: Analytical, thorough, decision-maker, deliberate, self-disciplined, industrious, organized, aesthetic, sacrificing.

Weaknesses: Moody, self-centered, touchy, negative, unsociable, critical, revengeful."

The educational handout adds that in terms of relationships, "Beavers are good listeners, communicate details, and are usually diplomatic."

THE GOLDEN RETRIEVER

dog, golden retriever, personality quiz, loyalty Golden Retriever adorably looks up. Giphy GIF by WoofWaggers

These are our loyal, dependable friends/lovers. "They also tend to avoid conflict and prioritize maintaining harmony in their relationships. However, they may struggle with making decisions and taking action, and may sometimes come across as passive or indifferent."

"Strengths: Calm, supportive, agreeable, easy-going, loyal, dependable, quiet, objective, diplomatic, humorous, values relationships, stable and consistent.

Weaknesses: Selfish, stingy, indirect with others, resists change, procrastinator, unmotivated, lacks initiative, indecisive, fearful, worrier, can be co-dependent."

The Center for Relationship Education notes, "Goldens’ strong tendency toward the soft-side of love can lead to issues of co-dependence and enabling. Goldens need to learn to balance their natural soft-side with some hard-side qualities."

As with most quizzes like these, most of us are a combination of traits not easily put into labeled boxes. If nothing else, it's a creative way to get people thinking about how they interact with one another in a variety of situations. (Which is totally something a golden retriever like me would say.)

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Humor

Texas neighbors have stepped up their spooky 'Halloween battle' and people are taking sides

"Is that all you got?"

Photo Credit: Kendell Aden

Halloween decoration battle heats up.

Move over Christmas, Halloween decorations just got more competitive—and spookier! For Aubrey, Texas residents Kendell Aden and Anthony Michael Lumpkins-Hood (and their respective families), it's almost a competitive sport—though truly, everyone wins.

It began–like many Halloween stories–with skeletons. The Aden family had recently moved into their new home when they noticed a giant skeleton hanging in a neighbor's front yard across the way. (Their backyard actually faces the neighbor's front.) Inspired, they jumped right in.


Aden narrates a now-viral Instagram video, "The people behind us put out their 12-foot skeleton. So of course we had to put out ours and add a little sign that said, 'Is that all you got?' So we were hoping to see that they'd retaliate. This was yesterday. Well, today we look out there and this is what they had to say back."

We flash to the giant skeleton holding a sign that reads, "More? You want more? I will play. How 'bout u?" She adds jokingly, "So this has turned into a full-on war."

This video alone got close to 300,000 likes on Instagram and nearly 2,000 comments. People got invested. "I can't wait to see what happens next!" one eager Instagrammer wrote. Another declared, "Finally, a battle I'm willing to follow. Let's go!!"

(One shadily asked, "How old are you?" with an eye-rolling emoji, to which Aden directly answered in earnest, "I'm 30.")

Turns out this particular neighbor, Anthony Michael Lumpkins-Hood (who goes by the handle @thechickennuggetz on Instagram), definitely recognized that the gauntlet had been thrown. One look at Hood's social media and you'll see Halloween decorations (and scary movies) are his fortes.

After the initial battle lines had been drawn, Hood gave a "sneak peek" of what was to come.

Here, too, the commenters were excited and supportive. One asked, "I wonder if traffic is slowing down in our neighborhood." Hood responded, "Yeah, we've definitely had quite a few people slow down or stop in the street to take a look!"

After People Magazine covered the story a couple of weeks ago, both friendly neighbors have stepped up their game, creating an even more magical and creative wonderland of horror.

Upworthy had a chance to chat with both Aden and Hood, who gave us insight into their fun shenanigans.

Looks like this all started in early September. Are people putting up decorations earlier than usual?

Aden: "We're always early birds. We always put it up early. So whenever we saw that our neighbors put theirs up, we jumped in immediately. Because that was honestly late for us! I don't think people are getting earlier (with putting stuff up), but I wish they would. I think Halloween should be September 1st to November 1st. And then Christmas November 1st onward."

Has Halloween always been big for you and/or your family?

Aden: "Once my son was about two, he would make us go to Home Depot just to look at the Halloween decorations, and that's when we really jumped in on it—because he loved it so much."

Hood: "Christmas was my favorite until I met my husband. Halloween is definitely his holiday, but he's pulled my excitement in, especially with the decorations!"

Do you think your neighbor inspired you to step up your game?

Hood: "Most definitely! Nice to have something friendly to do!"

Aden: "It's hard because ours is our back fence facing theirs. So our front yard is pretty crazy. We had already been going all out and now we just have to go all out in the front and the backyard. They definitely inspired us to decorate our backyard."


What's the next move in the decorations plan?

Aden: "We try to feed off each other, obviously. And so our next move is definitely going to be relevant to what they said with saying 'look at their pet.' So it's gonna have something to do with a pet."

She adds, "But it's getting expensive. A lot of the comments say, 'Oh this is what rich people look like,' but it's so funny because I'm a teacher's aide and my husband is in sales. We don't make a ton of money, so to the people who say we must be rich—no, we just spend our money on Halloween decorations."

Hood: "Can't spoil anything, just know that we plan to keep this going through Christmas!"

Has anyone else in the neighborhood joined in and tried to 'one up' you?

Aden: "Definitely some houses whose yards look awesome. I don't know if it's because they're trying to compete with us. I think it's just them being in the spirit!"

Has this brought you closer to your neighbors-in-battle?

Hood: "Yes! Before the Halloween skeleton war started, they had just moved in and we didn't know them. We've been in our home for a couple of years now. Now, we talk to them almost every day!"

He adds, "With all that's going on in the world right now, it's very nice to see the positive connection and the excitement we get from people on social media in regards to our decorations. Making people smile, telling us they are so invested in the skeleton war!"

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17 ridiculously simple money habits, according to a former investment banker

Nischa Shah cracks the personal finance code.

Credit: Nischa (YouTube)

Nischa Shah is our financial freedom guru.

Small actions lead to significant results. Take Nischa Shah, for example, who left her six-figure investment banking job and built a million-dollar content business instead. Her viral YouTube video, “17 Habits That Made Me Rich,” has racked up nearly 3 million views, in which she divulges the practical daily habits that gradually transformed her finances.


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“The key to getting rich isn’t life at the extreme, like waking up at 4 a.m.,” Shah explains at the video’s start. “It’s about forming micro-habits: tiny habits that you follow consistently. These small habits compound over time and not only have a big impact on your finances, but also on your physical, mental, and emotional well-being.”

Shah's approach is refreshing. Her success stems from manageable, everyday practices that anyone can adopt, rather than radical lifestyle changes or complex strategies. She recommends smart, consistent habits that seem minuscule in the moment, but add up over time. Read on for Shah’s top tips:

17 game-changing financial habits, according to Nischa Shah

1. Create more than you consume

Shah highlights research from Thomas Corley’s Rich Habits: The Daily Success Habits of Wealthy Individuals, which shows that 67% of wealthy people watch less than an hour of TV daily, while 77% of those struggling financially watch significantly more.

Another interesting stat from Corley: only 6% of the wealthy watch reality television, compared to 78% of the poor.


wealth, finances, advice, money, millionaire Wealthy couple strolls away from helicopter.Photo credit: Canva

“The wealthy are not avoiding watching TV because they have some superior human discipline or willpower,” he writes. “They just don’t think about watching much TV because they are engaged in some other habitual daily behavior — reading.”

The takeaway here is that active creation trumps passive consumption. Whether it’s launching a YouTube channel, writing stories, or learning to code through interactive apps, spending even 15 minutes daily on creative activities builds valuable skills and experience.

2. Create distance from negative people

Motivational speaker Jim Rohn claims that we are “the average of the five people we spend the most time with,” meaning that we are greatly influenced by those around us.


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Shah recommends keeping your distance from negative people who gossip, complain constantly, or bring toxic energy to the table, as these influences can subtly derail your process. Instead, surround yourself with like-minded people who discuss building wealth and solving meaningful problems.

3. Create an 'I can do this' file

Over the past two years, Shah has developed a powerful habit: creating a personal “motivation archive.” Every time she achieves something significant, she writes everything down in painstaking detail, from the nerves that paralyze her beforehand to the admiration she receives afterwards.

She keeps a dedicated tab in Notion (this could work equally well in any other digital workspace) called “I can do this,” where she documents her achievements, milestones, and moments when she pushed through fear. By recording these experiences, she’s created a personal evidence file that reminds her of her own resilience whenever self-doubt creeps in.

4. Practice gratitude

Shah swears by gratitude journaling for boosting motivation and happiness. Though initially skeptical, she changed her mind after learning from Sophia Godkin that appreciation is fundamental to happiness. Every night at 8 p.m., Shah opens the Day One app to record the day’s highlights and things she’s grateful for, often adding a photo to capture the moment.


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Research shows that daily gratitude leads to meaningful reductions in anxiety and depression symptoms, improved sleep quality, enhanced mood and happiness, and increased life satisfaction. In fact, daily gratitude practices even benefit physical health, with studies showing increased cardiovascular health, improved longevity, an immune system boost, and stress reduction.

5. Automate saving and investing

In this segment, Shah advocates for the “pay yourself first” principle, which automatically stashes money in savings and investments before you can spend it. She automates transfers to saving and investment accounts on payday to ensure that her money grows steadily without requiring willpower or manual effort. This efficient system builds wealth while also naturally curbing impulse purchases.

Investopedia describes the “pay yourself first” method as simply building a retirement account, creating an emergency fund, or saving for other long-term goals, such as buying a house.

6. Get specific

When setting financial goals, Shah recommends being ruthlessly specific. Rather than vaguely promising to “save more,” she suggests concrete targets with straightforward math. For instance, “I’ll save $30,000 by the end of 2027 by setting aside $1,250 each month.” This precision transforms abstract financial goals into actionable items.


7. Audit spending into three buckets

Shah breaks down expenses into three practical buckets:

  • Fundamentals (housing, food, utilities)
  • Fun (dining out, travel, entertainment)
  • Future (investments, savings)

She reframes budgeting not as a restriction but as a tool for clarity: a reasonable budget is like a financial dashboard that shows exactly where your money goes. This practice can be quite liberating! Shah shares her secret—a free spending tracker that helps identify patterns and pinpoint areas of unnecessary spending.

8. Learn something new about money weekly

Financial literacy is an ongoing journey. Your relationship with money began at a young age, and these early experiences shaped everything—from whether you feel confident investing to the jitters you get when you check your bank balance. Luckily, you can rewire these patterns with persistent learning. Master a new investing app, negotiate your salary with confidence, and read up on tax strategies. Dedicate time each week to learning about investing, personal finance, and entrepreneurship. Even 20 minutes a week can lead to significant knowledge over time.


writing, finances, money, spending, millionaire Learning about finances is a life-long journey you should enjoy. Photo credit: Canva

9. Stop caring about other people’s opinions

Shah stresses that other people’s judgments about your financial choices can derail your progress. Worrying too much about what others think is a common problem, but Shah offers a surprisingly practical tip. When someone’s opinion starts to drag you down, ask yourself: Does this person’s point of view align with where you’re headed? If the answer is no, then redirect that energy back into your own financial goals. This simple filter has allowed her to take significant risks and put herself out there more often, without getting paralyzed by irrelevant criticism.

10. Understand and avoid a ‘yes’ trap

“The Yes Trap is a subtle yet powerful force that pulls us towards overcommitment,” writes Robert Puff. “It’s that nagging feeling that we should always say ‘yes’ to requests, invitations, and opportunities, even when our plates are already overflowing.”

Puff explains that this habit stems from people-pleasing instincts, the fear of missing out, and discomfort with saying "no."


Shah wholeheartedly agrees, calling out the yes trap for what it is: a reflexive tendency to agree to every request, even when you’re already stretched thin. Sure, saying yes feels like the easier option in the moment—less friction—but it quietly leads to burnout, resentment, and the erosion of your agency. How can one avoid this trap? Get clear on your goals and what you’re trying to accomplish; when your destination is sharp and specific, it becomes easier to recognize distractions and politely decline them.

11. Invest in yourself regularly

An overarching theme in Shah's video is the idea of investing in yourself—not just with money, but also with time and attention.

The best investment you can make is backing yourself and dedicating yourself to your own skills, knowledge, and capabilities. Shah recommends starting with a platform like Brilliant, which breaks down intimidating subjects like computer science, statistics, and algorithms into bite-sized interactive lessons that you can tackle on your phone. It’s a tool that makes learning feel like a breeze, rather than homework.


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12. Build multiple income streams

Millionaires don’t rely on a single paycheck; they stack income streams. Welcome to diversification, which means spreading your money across a mix of investments to smooth out your returns. The idea is that different types of investments perform differently over time, so it’s critical to invest across the three main asset classes (a.k.a. asset classes): cash, fixed income, and equities.

For Shah, that looks like money pulled from brand deals, affiliate commissions, YouTube ads, investments, and selling her own products. This way, if one stream dries up, the others are there to keep you afloat. Don’t know where to start? She advises beginning with one stream that matches what you’re already good at or genuinely curious about, then slowly adding new streams.

13. Simplify decision-making

It’s time to stop making the same decisions over and over. The path to financial freedom is paved with discipline: set clear rules for spending, saving, and investing, then let those guidelines do the heavy lifting.

Shah seeks to reduce decision fatigue by optimizing her life in small ways. Instead of agonizing over what to wear each morning, she maintains a slight rotation of work clothes. Apply this principle to any area of your life where you’re burning mental energy on autopilot tasks.

14. Network with intent and add value

Shah points to Chris Donnelly, the founder of Verb Brands. This digital marketing agency works with luxury brands like Jimmy Choo and Creed Fragrances. Within his first year, Donnelly pulled in $10 million, and largely credits the "who factor."


“He went through a phase where he was reaching out to 50 or more people a month, or asking other people to introduce him to someone,” Shah explains, recounting a recent conversation with Donnelly. “He stressed the importance of the Who Factor in everything that we do.”

15. Take action before feeling ready

Making mistakes is how you learn, and waiting around until you suddenly feel “ready” is a lost cause. Most of the time, that moment of clarity never really arrives. Successful people start before they’re ready and figure it out as they go. Trust your gut and take that first step, even if you’re winging it.


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16. Have open money conversations

While 66% of Americans believe that open conversations about money are the key to financial freedom, over six in 10 Americans (62%) don’t talk about money, according to Empower. In addition, the financial site finds that people would rather discuss politics (43%) and death (32%) than their own finances (24%). Seemingly, there’s no one to open up to: 75% of respondents say they don’t discuss finances with their friends, family (63%), or even their spouse/partner (46%).

Shah encourages people to talk about money: break the taboo and share what’s working for you and what isn’t. The point is to normalize the conversation so it stops feeling like an off-limits topic.

17. Apply the 1% progress rule

There’s no need to overhaul your entire financial life; just aim to get better by 1% each month. Save a little more, spend a little less, earn a little extra. While none of this feels dramatic in the moment, these tiny improvements add up to real financial momentum.


Your financial transformation starts now

Shah's journey from corporate burnout to millionaire content creator proves that financial freedom is real, tangible, and within your reach. Which habit will you start with today?

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