51 pretty shocking facts that make things harder for every woman you have ever met.

According to the Merriam-Webster dictionary, feminism is "the belief that men and women should have equal rights and opportunities." That's it. That's all it is. Some of you might be saying to yourselves, "But don't feminists want to destroy us all and hate men and eat babies and stuff?" To which I respond: I think you are confusing feminism with Dr. Evil. They aren't really the same. So here to explain what feminism is really about is the brilliant Laci Green.

We had our fact-checkers fact check the hell out of this, and yes, the math at 2:20 is real. And horrifying. If you can watch this and disagree with more than 10% of it, I'll be shocked.

If you are now a feminist after watching this, or just want to see more from Laci, you could Like her Facebook page. And if you'd like to help people understand that feminism isn't coming to kill you but is actually kind of helpful, you could share this. Totally your call.

Apparently, I'm a dude feminist now, so I'm gonna go ahead and do it. But I'm biased what with having a wife of 13 years, a mom, and a very rude but empowered 2-year-old daughter.

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Laci Green: The rumors are true. What they've been saying about me. I have to come clean. I, Lacey Green, am a feminist. What? You're a lesbian now? Man hater! Hairy armpits. Say it ain't so. Shhh! It's gonna be okay, those are just stereotypes. I think feminism is both kick ass and super important, and here are a few of my reasons why. I'm a feminist because girls are taught in public school that once she has sex, she'll "loose" a part of herself. Because women who have a lot of sex are sluts while guys are studs. Amanda Todd, Felicia Garcia, Sherice Morales because of the sexism it drove them to end their lives.

I'm a feminist because I was told the first time I had sex it would be painful and bloody. I was terrified! Because one in four young women is assaulted, and society still asks, "what was she wearing?" Because male victims of rape are believed, since guys want sex all the time anyway, right? Cause of cat-calling and street harassment. Because, no, it is not a compliment. I'm feminist, because my first boyfriend sexually assaulted me, and when I went to my friends for help, they called me a slut. Because when I speak at universities about the absolute necessity of consent, there are people in the audience who laugh. Cause boobs are used to sell everything from burgers to soap, but don't you dare breastfeed out in the open. Because this, shocks and terrifies people. I'm not even kidding, you should see some of the looks I get. I'm a feminist because of how much pressure we put on girls to value their appearance above everything else. Because of labiaplasties, boob jobs, hymenaplasties. Because our culture considers it normal to cut off part of an infants' penis.

I'm a feminist because male orgasm in the movies is rated PG-13, while female orgasm is rated R. I'm a feminist because in 2013, there were over 700 bills to regulate a woman's body, and for men, the rightful number, zero. I'm a feminist because the political body making the decisions about my body is over eighty percent male. Wow. Because men occupy the top ranks of not just politics, but every industry in the world. I'm a feminist because jobs. Jobs. Women only hold one in four stem jobs, we hold six percent of t.v. stations, five percent of executive positions in the media. Because when I was younger and I took on a leadership role, all the adults in my life said, 'you're being bossy.' And let's not forget, that sneaky little pay gap.

By the time the average woman reaches sixty years old, she will have made four hundred and fifty thousand dollars less than a man in the same exact position. That's like a fancy ass house. Truck load of chocolate bars, or ten. And hell, I'm not even surprised by it. At my first job, I learned that my less qualified male co-worker was making almost twice as much as me. I'm a feminist because the media told me that women are my competition, destroying my friendships with them for almost twenty years. Because of gender roles. Because that one size fits all binary that shoves us into boxes and erases who we are. I'm a feminist because in tenth grade someone called my best friend a pussy and it tore him up for weeks, and I realized the worst insult was to be compared to a woman. Because boys are shamed for being emotionally open, because that's a "girl thing" and womanhood is weak. Weak! [Laughter]

Nevermind the fact that it was most likely a woman who pushed your body out of her vagina. I'm a feminist because my father never once did the laundry, made dinner or cleaned the house. When I suggested he help, my grandpa told me I was "out of my damn mind." Wow! Out of my mind. Am I taking crazy pills? I'm a feminist because people still say the asexual, bisexual and trans folk don't exist. I'm a feminist because same sex marriage is a no-brainer. Because in thirty-four states it's legal to discriminate against someone who's transgender. Really? Really?

I'm a feminist because representation, it matters! In LGBT folks, women, and particularly women of color, hardly ever have their stories told on screen. I'm a feminist because I believe that the world should be safe for girls, everywhere. Because half the girls in Yemen will become child brides. Because 65% of Brazilians believe that a woman who dresses in revealing clothes deserves to be raped. Because in Saudi Arabia women still can't vote or drive.

I'm a feminist because in every corner of the world, every day, women's bodies are used as a battleground in wars started by men. Raped, beaten, sold into slavery, mutilated, burned with acid. I'm a feminist because when I dare to get pissed off at a justice, I'm just another angry feminist who's on her period. I'm a feminist because there are people who would take these words more seriously...

Male Voice: ...if they were coming out of my mouth.

Laci Green: Most of all, I'm a feminist because I believe in gender equality. My eyes are open. My mind is active. I know we're not there yet. Thanks for supporting me here on Sex plus Babes. I would like to know are you a feminist? Tell me, "Why" or "Why not," down below and I will see you next time.

There may be small errors in this transcript.

So in case you missed it, Laci Green is totally a feminist. I am too. Because I think women should have equality of opportunity. Just like men. I'm zany that way.

May 30, 2014

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