35 Hilariously Ridiculous Things Straight Girls Say To Gay Guys

Darcie Conway Curated by

Is he "a gay friend" or "a friend"? We're not living in a rom-com where every woman has a gay, male best friend whose main purpose is to play off our own whimsical personalities. In real life, we like to respect our friends for the unique, individuals they are. That's why we need to check in with our fabulous selves when we're saying some not-so-fabulous things.

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Male 1: Get in bitch, we're going shopping. So like, you've never been with a girl? Oh, it's a Super Bowl party? I don't know, he's gay. We're so going to get drunk and make out. Oh, so there's this gay guy that works at the salon that I go to. He's like 53, salt and pepper hair. I know this guy, right. He's gay too. You should totally meet him. You guys would be perfect together.

You're a stupid bitch. Bitch. Bitch. Hey, bitch. Sorry, bitch. Do you like love Lady Gaga's new album? So, am I like your fag hag? I'm on the right track baby, I was born this way. Hag doesn't mean ugly though, right? It's just like a phrase. What do you mean you're not coming? That's so gay. No offense, I mean stupid gay, not gay gay.

You're like practically a girl. You're like practically a girl. I love that you're like practically a girl. I think he's gay. Do you think he's gay? Do you think he's gay? I think he's gay. No offense, but are you gay? Oh my God, he's totally gay, you should go talk to him. Yeah, I know, I'm with my gay boyfriend. Oh, he's not my boyfriend, he's gay. This is my gay boyfriend.

It's the creep from upstairs pretending to be my boyfriend. You're like my sassy gay friend, I love it. I have always wanted a gay best friend. Help me pick out something to wear. Oh my God, did you see the new "Sex in the City?" SJP is so fierce. This is fierce, right? This shirt is fierce. So fierce. Does my butt look fierce in these jeans? That was so fierce. Love. Fierce. Do you love it? You're gay, you're supposed to know these things. Love it.

Yeah, but you're not like a regular gay guy. Go get yourself a drink. Do you drink beer? I'll make you an apple martini. There ain't no other way. Oh, actually look at this. Do you think my right boob is bigger than the left one? It's like way bigger. Babe, I told you he's gay. He's probably more attracted to you than he is to me.

I really need a girls' night. Do you think I can pull off not wearing a bra in this shirt? I don't know, he's like really mad at me. Do my boobs look bigger? Why can't I just date you? Feel them. The right one's bigger, right? No, like feel them! All the good guys are gay. All the good guys are gay. You are so gay. After I'm done with this, we'll do masks. Whatever, marriage is overrated anyway. Oh my God, come look at wedding dresses.

Male 2: Oh, don't mind me, sir. I'm just casually doing the robot.

Male 1: Shut up bitch, let's go. Bye, boyfriend.

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