You can try to reuse wrapping paper, of course, but have you ever seen a kid tear into a Christmas present? You can try wrapping with simple brown paper, which is recyclable, but doesn’t feel particularly festive. You could buy eco-friendly wrapping paper, shelling out a pretty penny for something that’s still going to have to be purchased again and again.
OR you can go a whole new route by ditching the paper altogether and going for the truly old-fashioned, easy peasy solution of cloth gift bags that you either purchase or make yourself. If you think that sounds like a bit of a stretch, hold the judgment until you see how utterly adorable these bags are.
Cloth bags save so much time and headache compared to paper wrapping. Weirdly shaped gifts no longer matter as long as they fit in the bag. They also save you money over time if you use them for your household’s gifts and store them away with your holiday decorations each year. If you make them yourself, you can choose any color or pattern theme you want, but there are plenty of readymade coordinated options out there now to go with any decor.
And no, kids don’t care—in fact, they will probably appreciate the fact that their gift wrap is eco-friendly and they may even get nostalgic about seeing the familiar wrappings each year. (Our family has used cloth to wrap for presents for years, and our kids have actually developed favorites.)
Here’s a simple example—a mix of classic red-and-white patterns in assorted sizes for a bright, classic look. How lovely would a stash of these look all gathered under the tree?
Red and white always works for Christmas. <a href="https://amzn.to/3v7H1fh">Amazon</a>
What if you went with a classy gold theme for this year’s decor and want the presents under the tree to match for a perfectly Instagrammable Christmas morning? Here’s a similar set in a gold-and-white pattern.Go for the gold with this set of Christmas gift bags. <a href="https://amzn.to/3RN1miF">Amazon</a>
Maybe you’re going for more of a cozy, casual, log cabin-y feel for your holiday. Plenty of plaid in Christmas colors right here.Cozy, cozy flannel bags with Christmas sayings on them <a href="https://amzn.to/41uzwuX">Amazon</a>
If you’re more drawn to the classic, Norman Rockwell, Christmases-of-yore vibe, check out these nostalgic Christmas prints:These gift bags look like a throwback to "It's a Wonderful Life." <a href="https://amzn.to/3GRMMjP">Amazon</a>
Maybe you’re a modern maven with monochromatic merry-making methodologies. Or perhaps you’d like to be able to reuse your bags at other times of the year, too. These black-and-white babies might just do the trick.
These black-and-white bags could be used for any occasion. <a href="https://amzn.to/3RNXj5O">Amazon</a>
How about a standard-Christmas-wrapping-paper look, only as cloth Christmas gift bags instead?
Get your colorful Christmas on. <a href="https://amzn.to/41wgTHa">Amazon</a>
Or maybe you don’t want a distinctively Christmas feel at all, but rather a mix of pretty, festive bags that could be used for the holidays or any time of year. There’s a whole assortment to choose from here to go with whatever your particular color theme might be.
Christmas bags don't have to be Christmas-themed.. <a href="https://amzn.to/3NABeVY">Amazon</a>
There’s just no shortage of options for cloth gift bags that are worth investing in to save time, money and the environment. Just be sure to check sizes so there are no surprises, grab a wide assortment and then revel in the fact that you’ll never get a paper cut or have to search for another roll of tape while wrapping presents for your family again.
In a small village in Pwani, a district on Tanzania’s coast, a massive dance party is coming to a close. For the past two hours, locals have paraded through the village streets, singing and beating ngombe drums; now, in a large clearing, a woman named Sheilla motions for everyone to sit facing a large projector screen. A film premiere is about to begin.
It’s an unusual way to kick off a film about gender bias, inequality, early marriage, and other barriers that prevent girls from accessing education in Tanzania. But in Pwani and beyond, local organizations supported by Malala Fund and funded by Pura are finding creative, culturally relevant ways like this one to capture people’s interest.
The film ends and Sheilla, the Communications and Partnership Lead for Media for Development and Advocacy (MEDEA), stands in front of the crowd once again, asking the audience to reflect: What did you think about the film? How did it relate to your own experience? What can we learn?
Sheilla explains that, once the community sees the film, “It brings out conversations within themselves, reflective conversations.” The resonance and immediate action create a ripple effect of change.
MEDEA Screening Audience in Tanzania. Captured by James Roh for Pura
Across Tanzania, gender-based violence often forces adolescent girls out of the classroom. This and other barriers — including child marriage, poverty, conflict, and discrimination — prevent girls from completing their education around the world.
Sheilla and her team are using film and radio programs to address the challenges girls face in their communities. MEDEA’s ultimate goal is to affirm education as a fundamental right for everyone, and to ensure that every member of a community understands how girls’ education contributes to a stronger whole and how to be an ally for their sisters, daughters, granddaughters, friends, nieces, and girlfriends.
Sheilla’s story is one of many that inspired Heart on Fire, a new fragrance from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection that blends the warm, earthy spices of Tanzania with a playful, joyful twist. Here’s how Pura is using scent as a tool to connect the world and inspire action.
A partnership focused on local impact, on a global mission
Pura, a fragrance company that recognizes education as both freedom and a human right, has partnered with Malala Fund since 2022. In order to defend every girl’s right to access and complete 12 years of education, Malala Fund partners with local organizations in countries where the educational barriers are the greatest. They invest in locally-led solutions because they know that those who are closest to the problems are best equipped to solve and build durable solutions, like MEDEA, which works with communities to challenge discrimination against girls and change beliefs about their education.
But local initiatives can thrive and scale more powerfully with global support, which is why Pura is using their own superpower, the power of scent, to connect people around the world with the women and girls in these local communities.
The Pura x Malala Fund Collection incorporates ingredients naturally found in Tanzania, Nigeria, Pakistan, and Brazil: countries where Malala Fund operates to address systemic education barriers. Eight percent of net revenue from the Pura x Malala Fund Collection will be donated to Malala Fund directly, but beyond financial support, the Collection is also a love letter to each unique community, blending notes like lemon, jasmine, cedarwood, and clove to transport people, ignite their senses, and help them draw inspiration and hope from the global movement for girls’ education. Through scent, people can connect to the courage, joy, and tenacity of girls and local leaders, all while uniting in a shared commitment to education: the belief that supporting girls’ rights in one community benefits all of us, everywhere.
You’ve already met Sheilla. Now see how Naiara and Mama Habiba are building unique solutions to ensure every girl can learn freely and dare to dream.
Naiara Leite is reimagining what’s possible in Brazil
Julia with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
In Brazil, where pear trees and coconut plantations cover the Northeastern Coast, girls like ten-year-old Julia experience a different kind of educational barrier than girls in Tanzania. Too often, racial discrimination contributes to high dropout rates among Black, quilombola and Indigenous girls in the country.
“In the logic of Brazilian society, Black people don’t need to study,” says Naiara Leite, Executive Coordinator of Odara, a women-led organization and Malala Fund partner. Bahia, the state where Odara is based, was once one of the largest slave-receiving territories in the Americas, and because of that history, deeply-ingrained, anti-Black prejudice is still widespread. “Our role and the image constructed around us is one of manual labor,” Naiara says.
But education can change that. In 2020, with assistance from a Malala Fund grant, Odara launched its first initiative for improving school completion rates among Black, quilombola, and Indigenous girls: “Ayomidê Odara”. The young girls mentored under the program, including Julia, are known as the Ayomidês. And like the Pura x Malala Fund Collection’s Brazil: Breath of Courage scent, the Ayomidês are fierce, determined, and bursting with energy.
Ayomidês with Odara in Brazil. Captured by Luisa Dorr for Pura
Ayomidês take part in weekly educational sessions where they explore subjects like education and ethnic-racial relations. The girls are encouraged to find their own voices by producing Instagram lives, social media videos, and by participating in public panels. Already, the Ayomidês are rewriting the narrative on what’s possible for Afro-Brazilian girls to achieve. One of the earliest Ayomidês, a young woman named Debora, is now a communications intern. Another former Ayomidê, Francine, works at UNICEF, helping train the next generation of adolescent leaders. And Julia has already set her sights on becoming a math teacher or a model.
“These are generations of Black women who did not have access to a school,” Naiara says. “These are generations of Black women robbed daily of their dreams. And we’re telling them that they could be the generation in their family to write a new story.”
Mama Habiba is reframing the conversation in Nigeria
Centre for Girls' Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
In Mama Habiba’s home country of Nigeria, the scents of starfruit, ylang ylang and pineapple, all incorporated into the Pura x Malala Collection’s “Nigeria: Hope for Tomorrow,” can be found throughout the vibrant markets. Like these native scents, Mama Habiba says that the Nigerian girls are also bright and passionate, but too often they are forced to leave school long before their potential fully blooms.
“Some of these schools are very far, and there is an issue of quality, too,” Mama Habiba says. “Most parents find out when their children are in school, the girls are not learning. So why allow them to continue?”
When girls drop out of secondary school, marriage is often the alternative. In Nigeria, one in three girls is married before the age of 18. When this happens, girls are unable to fulfill their potential, and their families and communities lose out on the social, health and economic benefits.
Completing secondary school delays marriage, and according to UNESCO, educated girls become women who raise healthier children, lift their families out of poverty and contribute to more peaceful, resilient communities.
Centre for Girls’ Education, Nigeria. Captured by James Roh for Pura
To encourage young girls to stay in school, the Centre for Girls’ Education, a nonprofit in Nigeria founded by Mama Habiba and supported by Malala Fund and Pura, has pioneered an initiative that’s similar to the Ayomidê workshops in Brazil: safe spaces. Here, girls meet regularly to learn literacy, numeracy, and other issues like reproductive health. These safe spaces also provide an opportunity for the girls to role-play and learn to advocate for themselves, develop their self-image, and practice conversations with others about their values, education being one of them. In safe spaces, Mama Habiba says, girls start to understand “who she is, and that she is a girl who has value. She has the right to negotiate with her parents on what she really feels or wants.”
“When girls are educated, they can unlock so many opportunities,” Mama Habiba says. “It will help the economy of the country. It will boost so many opportunities for the country. If they are given the opportunity, I think the sky is not the limit. It is the starting point for every girl.”
From parades, film screenings to safe spaces and educational programs, girls and local leaders are working hard to strengthen the quality, safety and accessibility of education and overcome systemic challenges. They are encouraging courageous behavior and reminding us all that education is freedom.
Experience the Pura x Malala Fund Collection here, and connect with the stories of real girls leading change across the globe.
First impressions mean a lot. When you meet someone new, you’re probably trying to get a feel for who they are—and whether they’re trustworthy. It all comes down to noticing behaviors.
Human behavior expert Chase Hughes explains how to read someone instantly. “Everyone wears some kind of a mask…a persona that I put onto the world,” he says in a YouTube video.
Getting underneath that mask is what truly reveals who someone is and what they’re all about. Hughes explains that people build these masks to conceal shame.
The #1 question to instantly read someone
According to Hughes, there is one important question to keep in mind when trying to read someone: “What does this person want me to feel about them, and what do they want me to notice?”
Hughes notes that this is the beginning of understanding why someone builds a mask based on shame.
“Shame is ‘I shouldn’t have done that. I’m a bad person for doing that. I need to hide it,’” he shares, explaining that shame holds power in today’s culture because it has been institutionalized as a “public weapon.”
The power of shame
Shame creates cognitive dissonance, which Hughes notes is mental discomfort. “Mental discomfort says, ‘I don’t want to be this uncomfortable in front of people.’ That creates a mask,” he says.
Understanding that most people wear a mask—a persona they present to the world—is key. From there, the task is determining how “thick” or “thin” that mask is and what it’s made of.
“If I’m seeing somebody who’s acting like he’s posturing all the time—he’s yelling, he’s puffing his chest out—the mask is usually the opposite of what it’s concealing,” says Hughes. “So I’m seeing a fearful little boy.”
Bumper-sticker alliteration
Hughes gives another example of how to read someone’s mask by comparing it to a car covered in bumper stickers. He tells a story about pulling up behind a car with various bumper stickers that signal aspects of the driver’s identity, from “I Did Yosemite” to marathon stickers to ones that say “I Go Fishing.”
He asks his kids what the stickers say about the driver, and his daughter replies that the person is adventurous. Hughes then asks what else it might mean, and she says it means the person can be trusted and would make a good friend. Hughes then gets to the point: if someone is a good friend, it means they need friends. In other words, that person is lonely.
“The better you get at understanding humans, the more that you’re going to see loneliness, shame, and suffering,” says Hughes. “The way that I deal with loneliness, conceal shame, and anesthetize myself from suffering equals human behavior.”
Reading for self-control
Finally, Hughes notes that another thing to look for when reading a person is their level of self-control, which comes down to whether they are disciplined or not.
To spot it, Hughes says that even if someone is a stranger, they will appear “more predictable in a good way. They’re more likely to be trustworthy because they already discipline themselves. They have self-control.”
He notes that this is important in many areas where relationships matter, including business. If someone lacks self-control, Hughes says he tends to be more cautious around them.
People who choose to be childfree are often the subject of negative stereotypes. They are sometimes called “selfish” because they do not want to dedicate their lives to raising someone else. They may also be described as “cold” or too career-oriented.
People who push them to reconsider (their in-laws, for example) often use scare tactics to get them to reproduce, such as: “Who will take care of you when you get old?”, “Your partner will leave you for someone who wants children,” or “When it’s too late, you’re going to regret your decision.”
To put it simply, childfree people are often portrayed in a negative light. However, a recent study found that an amazingly positive trait lies at the root of choosing to be childfree: openness to experience.
The big takeaway from the study is that the underlying personality trait among childfree people is not selfishness. Instead, they tend to have a strong curiosity about the world, which makes them more likely to travel, explore new ideas, and pursue short-term romantic relationships. Many childfree people want to live a carefree life of adventure and growth. Setting that aside for more traditional pursuits, such as raising children, may feel like too great a sacrifice.
The American Psychological Association defines openness to experience as “a dimension of personality characterized by imagination, creativity, intellectual curiosity, and a preference for novelty and variety.”
Jeffrey Davis, a writer at Psychology Today, calls it “the drive to explore novel aspects of human experience and the willingness to consider perspectives different than your own.”
People high on Openness to Experience have lower reproductive success. Previous research has indicated that individuals with higher levels of the personality trait Openness to Experience tend to have fewer children. Openness to Experience encompasses traits like…
To study how openness to experience affects reproduction, Aleksandra Milić, a graduate student at the University of Pavia, and Janko Međedović, a professor at the Institute of Criminological and Sociological Research in Belgrade, surveyed 1,024 people online, with an average age of 32.3 years. The survey asked whether participants had any children and, if not, at what age they intended to have them. It also asked how many sexual partners they had and how long their longest romantic relationship had lasted.
People who are open to experience have fewer children
“The main takeaway from our findings is that, in our sample, people higher in Openness to Experience tended to have fewer children,” Milić told PsyPost. “Higher Openness was associated with later entry into parenthood, shorter romantic relationships, and less positive motivation to have children, all of which were linked to fewer children.”
The decision to have children can be difficult, especially for women, because the biological window is relatively short and few people want to enter their 50s with regrets. In addition, there is a significant amount of societal pressure and judgment placed on women who choose not to have children.
The good news is that, for those who feel guilty or pressured into having children because they do not want to be seen as selfish, research suggests that selfishness is not the reason at all. Instead, it may simply be that the world is so big, beautiful, and full of opportunities that it would be a waste of a lifetime not to experience as much of it as possible.
Nobody knows how many days they have on this earth, and, in a way, that makes every moment feel more valuable. Since we don’t know how much time we have, it’s best to cherish every moment on this beautifulplanet with the people we love. It’s also a good idea to stay in shape so you can enjoy the greatest longevity possible.
An interesting new study from the University at Buffalo involving 5,000 women cannot tell you the exact number of days you have left. Still, it suggests that after the age of 60, it is relatively easy to determine whether you can look forward to a long life. The study found that a two-step test—in which participants first demonstrate handgrip strength and then complete five consecutive sit-to-stand chair lifts—is a good indicator of longevity.
The study found that women with higher grip strength and faster sit-to-rise scores had a significantly lower risk of death over the next eight years. In fact, for every 15-pound increase in grip strength, mortality risk was reduced by 12%. Women who scored highest on grip strength had a 33% lower risk of death compared with those in the lowest group. For chair stands, moving from the slowest to the fastest time in six-second increments was associated with a 4% lower risk of death.
“If you don’t have enough muscle strength to get up, it is going to be hard to do aerobic activities, such as walking, which is the most commonly reported recreational activity in U.S. adults ages 65 and older,” said study lead author Michael LaMonte, PhD, a research professor of epidemiology and environmental health in UB’s School of Public Health and Health Professions.
Women 63 and up with the strongest grip had a 33% lower risk of death over eight years compared to those with the weakest grip. Grip strength predicted longevity independent of how much women moved each dayhttps://t.co/TpdCkr52lk
“Muscular strength, in many ways, enables one to move their body from one point to another, particularly when moving against gravity,” LaMonte added. “Healthy aging probably is best pursued through adequate amounts of both aerobic and muscle-strengthening physical activities. When we no longer can get out of the chair and move around, we are in trouble.”
How to improve grip strength
Grip strength has come to be seen as an “indispensable” biomarker of aging because it reflects strength in the hands, forearms, and throughout the body. Looking to improve yours? Here are five expert-based ways to boost grip strength:
Use a stress ball
Grab a tennis ball or hand gripper and squeeze as hard as you can for five to 10 seconds, then repeat for 10 to 20 reps.
Seniors can perform dead hangs from a pull-up bar while keeping their feet on the ground or on a bench for 10 to 30 seconds at a time. The goal is to build up to hanging for 60 seconds.
Functional movements
The key is to get some real-world exercise that uses your hands, such as gardening, playing a sport like bowling, or carrying heavy grocery bags.
Eat a lot of protein
Protein supports muscle function and growth, so according to Health, it’s a good idea to eat one gram of protein per pound of body weight per day.
Lift weights
Use free weights such as kettlebells, barbells, or dumbbells to challenge and strengthen your hands. “Even using soup cans or books as a form of resistance provides stimulus to skeletal muscles and could be used by individuals for whom other options are not feasible,” LaMonte said.
We’re all familiar with the feeling of being “trapped” in a conversation. It might be because the other person won’t stop talking long enough for you to get a word in edgewise. Or maybe the topic of conversation just bores us. Worse, perhaps it makes us uncomfortable, and we can’t figure out a good way to change the subject without coming off as rude.
A massive debate on this topic recently unfolded on X. Some users argued that a good conversation should always be interesting and engaging to all parties, while others maintained that showing genuine interest in what others have to say (even if it doesn’t really interest you) is a key element of socializing.
It’s possible that both sides are right. Experts say changing the subject doesn’t have to be curt or selfish.
In fact, a great conversationalist understands that artfully pivoting is the key to maintaining an interaction that’s enjoyable for both parties. The key is understanding both when it’s time to “smile and nod,” and when and how to steer the conversation in a new direction.
Why it feels scary or hard to change the subject
Changing the subject can be harder for some people than for others. Photo credit: Canva
Dr. Kelly Gonderman, a clinical director and licensed clinical psychologist at We Conquer Together, tells Upworthy that changing the subject is one of the social skills her clients struggle with most.
“In my clinical work, the inability to redirect a conversation is rarely about rudeness or poor communication. It’s almost always about anxiety, people-pleasing, or a fear of conflict rooted in early relational experiences,” she says. “The nervous system registers social disapproval as threat, which means steering away from a painful or triggering topic can feel physiologically dangerous even when it’s entirely reasonable.”
Unfortunately, people who have difficulty setting boundaries in conversation may also struggle to maintain boundaries in other areas of their lives.
“They’ve learned that their discomfort is less important than keeping others comfortable,” she says.
Experts give tips and scripts for how to tactfully change the subject
One user on X sparked debate when they suggested a rather blunt and direct shifting of gears: “I’m sorry, it’s not really my thing, I don’t understand the importance of this and I can’t contribute to the conversation.”
It’s a fair and reasonable boundary to hold, but it’s likely to alienate or deflate your conversation partner because it’s missing a few key elements of a great pivot.
Amy Arias, senior lecturer of communications studies at the University of Nevada, Reno, tells Upworthy: “The key to changing the subject tactfully is to acknowledge what the person said before redirecting. People mainly want to feel heard, and once that happens, most conversations can move on naturally.”
Here are a few scripts to try out:
“That’s a good point. It actually reminds me…”
“I hear what you’re saying. Speaking of that…”
“That sounds intense. On a lighter note…”
In each of these instances, you’ve acknowledged the speaker and what they were saying in a positive way before attempting to move the conversation into new territory.
You could also try using humor to deflect the tension around your attempted pivot, with a segue that’s so jarring your conversation partner can’t help but laugh: “Speaking of politics, who’s hungry?”
Arias adds that, no, a good conversation doesn’t always have to be interesting or engaging for both parties all the time. It’s more about reciprocity and making sure each person gets a turn to be heard.
“Good conversation is more about reciprocity and turn-taking than constant fascination,” Arias says. “In healthy conversations, people take turns being the storyteller and the listener, but it’s also okay to redirect when a topic feels draining, awkward, or just not a great fit.”
“Ultimately, changing the subject gracefully is really about reading the room and protecting the flow of the interaction,” she adds. “A thoughtful topic shift isn’t rude, it’s often what keeps conversations comfortable, inclusive, and enjoyable for everyone.”
Why being a great conversationalist goes beyond the script
Gonderman says that, though having a few canned lines up your sleeve can help, being able to confidently redirect a conversation may require deeper work.
“The fix isn’t a script,” she says. “It’s building enough internal safety to trust that your need to redirect is valid.”
That could require something as simple as some breathwork or grounding techniques, or more advanced interventions like therapy to get to the root issues of your social anxiety.
There are a lot of reasons you might not be comfortable continuing a given line of conversation. It could be political, too personal, too taboo, or just plain uninteresting to you. It takes a person who’s quite sure of themselves to use a brief, direct pivot like “I want to shift gears,” “On a different note …,” or even “I’d rather not get into that right now.”
It’s best to acknowledge and make the other person feel heard before pivoting, but some people, well, just won’t take a hint. That’s when more direct methods might be called for.
Human conversations are an incredibly intricate dance. They’re an exchange of information, a building block of relationships, and an emotional back-and-forth all rolled into one. The finer aspects of navigating them tactfully don’t always come naturally to us and sometimes require preparation and practice.
In recent years, women have become more open about what happens leading up to and during menopause. As a result of this public sharing, younger women are learning about a shocking possible side effect of depleted estrogen: the shrinking, and in some cases the disappearance, of the labia.
As our parents prepare us for adulthood, some things slip through the cracks. We learn about puberty, how babies are conceived, and then the conversation stops. One area with a large information-sharing gap is the process of menopause. This lack of information puts both women and the people who love them at a disadvantage. It can leave people confused and frustrated.
Perimenopause, which is the time leading up to menopause, is not a short process. Hormone levels can begin to fluctuate widely as early as a woman’s 30s. At the same time, the average age of menopause is about 51, though it can occur as late as 60, according to the American Medical Association.
The Cleveland Clinic explains that “Menopause is a point in time when a person has gone 12 consecutive months without a menstrual period.” It is a natural part of the aging process for women, but for decades, if not centuries, the menopausal experience has been shrouded in coded language and silence. Not anymore.
The habit of Millennials seeking community in online spaces is opening the blackout curtains on the taboo subject. This has led to honest conversations about what happens when women go through “the change,” and the revelation about shrinking labia is causing a bit of panic.
Labia are the outer visible anatomy of the female genitalia, consisting of the labia minora and labia majora. This tissue protects the urethra, vaginal opening, and other sensitive areas from infection and friction, Dr. Somi Javaid, OB-GYN and founder of HerMD, tellsThe Flow Space.
So the idea of losing them due to a lack of estrogen has some women calling for a timeout as they try to process this previously unheard-of information. Several of these women took to social media to seek clarity and support.
“So nobody was going to tell me that one day I could lose my coochie lips?” one woman asks in an Instagram video. “That one day, my bean could just decide to clock out for the rest of my life? Why aren’t the older women sharing with us? Why aren’t the elders sharing this with us, cause this lady got on here and said if you start your estrogen early when you first go through menopause, you can save your lips.”
“I just saw this post of this doctor lady explaining that your labia minora grows during puberty, and then you lose it in menopause,” another concerned woman says in a TikTok video. “Come again? You’re telling me…is it…where does it go? Where is it gonna…does it just…I have so many questions. Does it just…one day I’m gonna wake up, and I’m gonna have no labias? Does it slowly disappear?”
These were not the only people concerned. Video after video showed women, and some men, flabbergasted and concerned about the mystery of the disappearing labia. Commenters were equally freaked out. All of this open confusion and fear created a perfect learning opportunity. OB-GYNs, urologists, and other medical professionals took to their own platforms to ease people’s stress about the process.
“So yes, the labia can shrink around menopause, and this is because estrogen levels are dropping, and this affects the tissues. The good thing is, you can prevent it. Start vaginal estrogen really early, as soon as you start to notice any of these changes, and it improves blood flow, elasticity, and lubrication, relieves dryness and soreness.”
Can your labia change around perimenopause and menopause? Yes and no one really talks about it!!! As oestrogen levels drop during perimenopause and menopause, vulval and vaginal tissues can become thinner, drier and lose elasticity. Some women even notice their labia shrinking, which can feel worrying if you’re not expecting it. The good news? Vaginal oestrogen can help. Used early, it supports blood flow, elasticity and lubrication, and can relieve dryness, soreness and discomfort. It’s a safe, local treatment and can be used long-term. If you notice changes, you don’t have to ignore them, support exists 💛 #perimenopause#menopause#HRT#womenshealth#hormones
Doctors and nurses online continue to reassure viewers that, while it sounds scary, vaginal estrogen can prevent it. One urologist explains that after women go through menopause, their estrogen levels are lower than those of men. This drop in estrogen causes structural changes in the labia, which can also lead to adhesions and pain.
“Let’s be clear: you do not lose your labia, but the tissues do undergo significant and visible changes,” says Dr. Mary Claire Haver, a menopause specialist. She adds, “The labia minora may shrink, flatten, or adhere to adjacent tissues. The labia majora can sag or retract due to tissue thinning.” She also says that prescription estrogen is the only way to prevent the issue.
In an era when both obesity and “heroin chic” trends are growing concerns, weight loss can be a touchy topic. Society’s ever-changing views on body size are worthy of their own discussion, of course. But as the link between obesity and health risks has been well-established, the reality is that many adults want and need to lose weight for health reasons.
People who are looking to lose weight know to expect certain things—an increased focus on nutrition and exercise, for example. Some weight loss journeys might include surgery or GLP-1 medications, which have exploded in recent years. But some parts of the journey can still take people by surprise, especially as they get closer to their goal.
Many people shared that they felt colder after losing weight. Body fat acts as an insulator, so losing it can make people more sensitive to cold temperatures. Changes in metabolism and hormones that accompany weight loss can also temporarily make you feel cold. However, nutritional deficiencies can cause similar symptoms, so it may be worth checking with your doctor if it becomes a concern.
“How well the fat insulates heat. On the positive note, I can tolerate hot and humid weather much better now. But I have to wear a lot of extra layers when it is cold, and I don’t enjoy swimming in the sea anymore even in height of summer, because it is too cold all the time (I am in the UK).”
“Oh man, so true, I’m still a big person but much smaller than I was and in winter I’m shaking like a Chihuahua, even with a lot of layers on.”
wanna know the most ANNOYING side effect of losing weight? i’m cold ALL the time. 72 degrees has me in a hoodie and i don’t like that 😂
“Absolutely correct! I get frustrated at how easily I get cold now. It was not something I anticipated.”
“Same, I absolutely cannot tolerate the cold anymore. But warm weather is much easier to cope with, so it’s not a bad tradeoff.”
“I lost 6 stone last year and this winter has been COLD but I’m looking forward to not being a gross sweaty mess this summer!”
Armpits are pits
Armpits are just arm pits, right? Not necessarily. When extra fat in that area fills in the hollow, it doesn’t appear as much of a “pit.” Losing weight revealed the actual pit feature for some folks.
“That your armpits are actually pits, they’re not just called that. When you’re fat, you just have underarms.”
“Just got here. Asked my wife why she was staring at me oddly, she said my pits were hollow.”
“From my all time heaviest I am down 90 pounds to 279 as of this morning. For about a month I’ve really been feeling the pits come in…lol. The joy this brought was very surprising.”
“Fair warning: now I have pits I absolutely cannot figure out the right angles to shave at anymore lmao. A blessing and a curse. A blurse.”
“Yes!! I have to change how I shaved them.”
Feeling your bones
When you become accustomed to having a layer of cushion around your body, losing it can be disconcerting—especially when you start feeling hard, knobby things that you might mistake for growths of some kind.
“I fairly recently lost 50 lbs. Imagine my surprise when I scheduled a doctors appointment thinking there was some sort of tumor in my chest only for them to tell me I have bones.”
“I’ve lost 50kg. I panicked when I felt my sternum.”
“Yes! I felt this with my chest. 😂😭 I thought I had some kind of chest cancer lump. This is the part of weight loss I did not expect.”
losing weight and start feeling bones you’ve never felt before
“I was very muscular in high school. Then gained a bunch of weight in college. Then lost the weight (and a fair bit of muscle) a few years after that. One day I thought I felt a lump in my boob and panicked. Turns out it was a rib that had been previously covered in muscle or fat.”
“I’m so glad I’m not the only one 🤣 I once went to the doctor thinking I had breast cancer. The doctor asked me if I had recently lost a lot of weight, then explained I was feeling my ribs.”
“When I lost 100 lbs and all of a sudden I could feel like wtf there’s actually a spooky skeleton inside me I would just sit there grabbing bones in bewilderment and mild horror.”
People treat you differently
Perhaps the hardest realization people shared was how being overweight had made them invisible to so many. A lot of commenters said people became nicer to them after they lost weight. That’s food for thought for all of us.
“How much nicer people are. As someone who’s lost and gained and lost again, it’s something I’ve noticed. People aren’t noticeably rude or dismissive to me as a bigger person, it’s more like they just don’t really acknowledge you. The world is just nicer when you’re smaller.”
“I’m male. I lost 140 lb and got fit in my mid-40s after living all my late teen and adult years being 300+. That was almost a decade ago. I can honestly say that everything in this thread has been, to some degree, true for me as well, but the most startling has been the way people react to me. It’s unbelievable. Male or female, stranger or acquaintance or friend, passing or casual or business, I’m treated differently. It’s like stepping into another reality and also makes me sad for all those years. Sure, I was fat, but man, I was treated like a subspecies.”
“Yes. I didn’t even realize how much being a fat woman over 40 negatively impacted me professionally until I lost 70 pounds right after Covid. My income more than doubled within a year. It has now nearly tripled. Is it partly because of increased confidence on my part? Probably. Does that explain it entirely? Probably not.”
“My least favorite experience with significant weight loss was experiencing ‘pretty privilege’ for the first time, realizing how mean people had been all my life, and why.”
“I’ve been losing weight and exercising regularly, and suddenly women are interested in me again. I knew logically that humans have a general preference for people of a healthy weight, but I feel like I’ve crossed some threshold of no longer being invisible to them. Wild.”
“I was telling my dad how it blew my mind how differently I was treated and he almost couldn’t believe the difference I was describing.”
Having energy
Carrying excess weight is physically demanding and requires extra energy for everyday activities. Obesity and sleep problems are also linked, often leading to fatigue. Many people found that their exhaustion eased and that they felt much more energetic after losing weight.
“That being tired all the time isn’t normal and I have a lot more energy to get things done than I thought.”
Losing weight is never fun.
But life is so much better after you lost it, because it improves your health, increases your energy levels, and makes you look, feel and perform better.
— P.D. Mangan Health & Freedom Maximalist 🇺🇸 (@Mangan150) September 9, 2025
“When people ask me what I feel like after losing 120lbs, the best explanation I can come up with is that I didn’t realize how sick and miserable I felt all the time until I didn’t feel sick and miserable all the time.
The energy, the aches, the poor sleep, the brain fog…i frog boiled myself into that being my new normal, and now it’s all gone and I can’t believe that’s how I lived for so many years.”
“It’s crazy how many people think constant exhaustion is just ‘normal life’ until they finally fix whatever’s causing it. Feels like getting a whole different version of your day back.”
“It’s crazy how easy it is to assume that’s just your normal baseline. Then you lose weight and you find that you’ve been running on hard mode the entire time. And after losing weight I felt like I had superpowers…”
These revelations are a good reminder of how much of a difference focusing on health can make in our own lives—and how much kindness can make a difference for others.
Andrew Bustamante (@Andrew-Bustamante) spent years as a covert CIA intelligence officer. When Lex Fridman asked him to name the single most useful spy trick that anyone could apply to their everyday life, his answer wasn’t about surveillance, or reading body language, or disappearing off the grid.
Here’s the distinction he draws, as he explained to Fridman and as YourTango reported in covering the exchange. Perception is how each of us interprets the world around us. It’s personal, it’s filtered, and it’s entirely our own. There’s nothing wrong with it, but the problem is that most people treat their perception as objective reality and then spend enormous energy trying to convince everyone else of it. “That’s why so many people find themselves arguing all the time,” Bustamante said, “trying to convince other people of their own perception.”
Perspective is different. It’s not just feeling what someone else feels, which Bustamante distinguishes from empathy. It’s actively placing yourself in someone else’s position and asking what their life actually looks like. What did they wake up worried about? What are they afraid of? What pressures are they carrying that you can’t see? “Perspective is the act or the art of observing the world from outside of yourself,” he told Fridman. “You sit in the seat of the person opposite you and think to yourself, ‘What is their life like?’”
The intelligence application is obvious. An officer who can only see a situation through their own cultural and personal lens is going to miss things. One who can genuinely inhabit another person’s point of view, their incentives, their fears, their constraints, is going to understand things that others don’t. But Bustamante’s point is that this skill doesn’t stay in the field.
“If you do that to your boss, it’s gonna change your career,” he said. “If you do that to your spouse, it’s gonna change your marriage. If you do that to your kids, it’s gonna change your family legacy. Because nobody else out there is doing it.”
That last line is the part that tends to land. Most interpersonal friction, whether in a marriage, a workplace, or a friendship, comes not from bad intentions but from two people each arguing from their own perception without pausing to genuinely inhabit the other’s. Bustamante is saying the CIA trains people to close that gap, and that closing it is available to anyone who practices it deliberately.
The comment sections on the viral clips reflect how directly this lands for people. “He just put it into words for me,” one viewer wrote. Another added that taking on multiple perspectives is “a way to find useful truths and do skillful systems analysis.” The observation isn’t new, but something about hearing it framed as tradecraft, as a skill that professionals train for rather than a platitude, seems to give it traction.
Bustamante runs his own platform, Everyday Spy, where he teaches intelligence-based skills for civilian use. His core argument, across the podcast appearances and the books, is that 95% of what CIA officers are trained to do applies directly to ordinary life. The perception versus perspective shift, he says, is where most people could start.
This article originally appeared earlier this year.
Accidents and medical emergencies happen every day, but, unfortunately, many Americans do not feel prepared to jump into action when they do. According to a poll from the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP), most Americans report feeling comfortable calling 911 and speaking with dispatchers. However, the number drops to just 55% for life-saving CPR—and…
Accidents and medical emergencies happen every day, but, unfortunately, many Americans do not feel prepared to jump into action when they do.
According to a poll from the American College of Emergency Physicians (ACEP), most Americans report feeling comfortable calling 911 and speaking with dispatchers. However, the number drops to just 55% for life-saving CPR—and only 46% feel comfortable applying a tourniquet.
Without medical training, confidence wanes and fear likely sets in for the average civilian. And since first responders may not be present when a medical emergency happens, an emergency room nurse with 11 years of experience shared their medical insights with the average person on Reddit.
They explained four essential medical skills everyone should know that could potentially save someone’s life.
“I know everyone wants the dramatic skills,” they wrote. “But these four things, done correctly, will genuinely make a difference in the scenarios most of us are actually likely to face.”
Medical skill #1: Wound packing and pressure
Learning how to pack wounds and apply pressure is the most important medical skill civilians should know, according to the ER nurse. These skills are more important than learning how to suture.
“Suturing a wound that isn’t fully clean can trap infection inside and make things significantly worse,” they wrote. “What saves lives in the field is knowing how to pack a deep wound with gauze and hold real pressure for long enough.”
They explained that most people apply only one-fifth of the pressure actually needed to help.
“Most people stop after 2 minutes. You need at least 10, sometimes more,” they added. “This one skill has a higher chance of keeping someone alive until they can get real help than almost anything else on the average prep list.”
Medical skill #2: Recognizing shock
The next most important medical skill people should learn is how to recognize shock, which, according to the nurse, is “not just ‘they look pale.’”
“I mean understanding the progression: restlessness and anxiety first, then skin changes, then the dangerous drop in blood pressure that most people think comes first,” they explained. “By the time someone looks classically ‘shocky’ you’re already behind. Learning the early signs gives you a real window to act.”
Medical skill #3: Splinting, not setting
Next up is dealing with possible bone breaks. The ER nurse emphasizes that people should absolutely not try to set broken bones. Instead, they should know how to splint them.
“Splint them where they are, immobilize the joint above and below the break, and focus on getting the person calm and still,” they shared. “A bad reduction attempt can damage nerves and vessels in ways that are very hard to fix later.”
Medical skill #4: Medication interactions and allergy documentation
Finally, the fourth medical skill recommended by the ER nurse is knowing which medications (including dosages) family members or close friends take, as well as any allergies they may have, in case of a medical emergency.
“Keep a physical list. Not just in your phone. Know what everyone in your household takes, the doses, and any known allergies,” the nurse explained. “In a chaotic situation this single piece of paper can prevent a serious medication error if someone else has to help you.”
