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15 people reveal the real reasons why they don’t plan on having children

Nobody should judge another person's reproductive choices.

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via Pixabay and Pixabay

A woman isn't into the idea of having kids.

A growing number of adults in the United States say that they aren’t interested in having children. A 2021 study by Pew Research found that 44% of nonparents aged 18 to 49 say that it is “not too or not at all likely that they will have children someday.” That’s a 7% increase over the 37% who said the same in 2018.

Fifty-six percent of those say they simply don’t want to have children, and the 46% who chose “some other reason” cited medical reasons, their financial situation, lack of a partner, age and state of the world as the biggest reasons they aren’t likely to have kids in the future.

A Reddit user by the name of ilovenosycats asked the online forum, “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?” and received a lot of revealing answers. Over 1,700 people responded to the question, and some of the most popular reasons contradict the idea that those who don’t want to have kids are being selfish.

Many who replied to the thread said they don’t want to have children because they don’t think they’d be good parents. Others are dealing with childhood trauma and have no interest in passing it on to their kids. Some are concerned about the condition of the world and don’t think it’s right to bring a child into such a challenging place.

Some enjoy having fewer responsibilities and a couple of extra dollars in their pockets. And who can blame them?

While it’s good to understand those who want to remain child-free, people’s reproductive choices are no one else’s business. There are many great reasons to have kids or be child-free. So, it’s probably best to celebrate each other’s differences when it comes to such a big decision.

Plus, no one should have children unless they really want them.

Here are 15 of the best responses to the question: “Why don't you have kids and/or do not plan on having kids?”

1.

"I just don't feel like I want it badly enough, and one should really want to have a child in order to be able to give their 100% as a parent, every child deserves that." — SignificantFunny1523

Usedcellist1 added:

"This is my reason. Waiting for that 'badly enough"'to kick in. It's getting hard to differentiate between wanting to fit in socially (not wanting to miss my friends and family's current 'baby wave'), and what I actually want. Been married 4 years now and I'm 32, so it's just... hard. I struggle with the idea daily."

2.

"Sleep. I love sleep. I get up when I'm being paid to get up but otherwise my great and immediate joy is sleeping until I don't feel like sleeping anymore. I much prefer sleep to children." — DamnIGottaJustSay

3.

"This curse ends with me." — DavetheRoper

4.

"Don’t have the patience for kids." — Leoimirmir

5.

"I don’t want to be a parent. That’s a perfectly valid reason." — AllyriaCelene

6.

"Cost of raising a kid, and the lifelong stress of raising a kid." — Typical_Conclusion_5

7.

"Would rather help an existing life be better through adoption than to create another one. As well as not pass down my less than optimal genetics." — LoonaticLaskdorp

8.

"I like my life exactly like it is. Kids might make it better. They might make it worse. But, since this is awesome, I’m great with things staying the way they are." — SnooWords4513

9.

"I have OCD and trauma that would be entirely overwhelmed by a child. Children deserve to be annoying, gross, messy, and to have fun. I would not be able to foster an environment where a small child had the freedom to have fun without feeling bad about themself. Children are annoying but they’re supposed to be. It would be unfair for me to have a child that I know would overstimulate me. You don’t get breaks from being a parent and I just don’t think I’ll ever be ready for that.

I would perhaps like to adopt or foster older children one day. I think I could help someone have a very nice life. I’d also like to give a child the adult guidance I needed and never had.

Overall, I think I’m more suited to be a cool uncle. I love kids and feel like they represent the best parts of personhood — love, trust, freedom of self-expression without shame. I just don’t think I’d be a good fit for small kids long term. My own desires to nurture another don’t overpower the personal limitations I hold, I believe that would be selfish. On a personal level, I would also be horrified if I had a child with the same disorders that I have. I know the struggles and pains of growing up mentally ill and mistreated, and I never hope to make another person feel that way." — TheSoundofStyrofoam

10.

"Bringing someone into this world is cruel." — dziwolonk

11.

"I can barely look after myself let alone a kid." — Rude_Act_6276

12.

"Isn't 8 Billion People enough?" — Georgiculus

13.

"Responsibility is one of the things I hate most in my life. I want peace of mind. I don't want to deal with a creature that I have to take care of everything. Besides, this world isn't a good place anyway, if I had a child I wouldn't be able to live my own life trying to give him a good life. That's why I don't have children." — Corvuseums

14.

"Being a DINK is the literal best. We are the coolest neighbors on the block, amazing aunts and uncles, loving parents to several pets, and have enough free money that we can give money to charities and causes we believe in. I think I am a better member of my community without kids. (I fully believe this is not the case for everyone and there are many fantastic parents.)" — probably_a_possum

15.

"I can’t impregnate myself." — Nirvana_bob7

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Gen X mom reenacts 'coming home from school in the 80s' and it couldn't be more perfect

"This is why we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."

Canva Photos

If you lived through an 80s childhood, this will send you back.

Generation X, made up of those born between 1965 and 1980, has many claims-to-fame in their younger years game. Gen X brought the world Prince and Kurt Cobain. We were The Goonies and The Breakfast Club. We took down the Berlin Wall while watching MTV.

But perhaps the most iconic thing about Gen X is our semi-feral childhoods of benign neglect. The standards of parenting and child rearing have shifted a lot in the past 40 to 50 years, as has the technological landscape that kids grow up in, so naturally, today's kids won't have the same childhoods previous generations had. But there's something particularly nostalgic about being a child of the 80s for those who lived it.


One mom nailed the experience with a video reenactment of what it was like to come home from school in the 80s.

Elizabeth Stevens (@BennettPeach on YouTube) arrives at the front door in her backpack, then pulls out a house key on a string around her neck. (Ah, the "latchkey kid" era when children were expected to come home to an empty house and let themselves in.)

Then she goes into the kitchen in her Care Bears t-shirt and finds a handwritten note—in cursive, of course—on the back of an envelope. "Working late—make your own dinner, watch your brother and the dishes better be done when I get home from bowling. – Mom"

- YouTube www.youtube.com

That's right. Mom wasn't just working late, she was also going bowling while her kids were home caring for themselves.

Then we see her washing the dishes despite barely being able to reach the faucet, even with a stool, and then her making a Gen X staple—the cinnamon-sugar and butter sandwich. On white bread, of course.

In just one minute, Stevens managed to capture the essence of so many Gen X memories, as commenters shared:

"The mom notes on an unopened bill is memories."

"Nailed it! The best thing about growing up in the '70s/'80's was being ALLOWED to grow up."

"Why this video made me almost cry?? How quiet it is inside the home. Lovely."

80s childhood, 80s, 80s nostalgia, gen x, latchkey kids, gen x nostalgia, generational differences, generational humor Wash the dishes before I get home from bowling! Photo by CDC on Unsplash

"Facts!!! No babysitter, go in the house, read the note, do the chores n not let anybody in!!!! I remember the homemade the 'cinnamon bun.'"

"70s and 80s … latch key kid here elementary, junior high and high school. we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."

"Just so frickin on point!!! All of it from the clothes to the key on the necklace to the note. Even what you chose to do for a snack. Too good!!! The windbreaker that's memories. It's all coming back to me now lol thank you for this. You have brought a huge grin to both me and my inner child."

80s childhood, 80s, 80s nostalgia, gen x, latchkey kids, gen x nostalgia, generational differences, generational humor music video 80s GIF Giphy

"I was met with a note everyday, too. On the back of an envelope, my daily chores would be listed. If I was in trouble, I would cry as soon as I saw the note....lolol Love you momma. How I wished I could have saved those notes! They were historical treasures."

Tons of people gushed over the nostalgia of remembering those "good old days" when they were given both freedom and responsibility, with many saying kids today have no idea. One thing that might surprise the younger generations was how young the theoretical kid in this video could have been. We're not talking about young teens here—kids as young as 5 or 6 could be latchkey kids, and kids any older than that were often given responsibility for looking after younger siblings. Even official babysitting jobs could start around age 11, or sometimes even younger.

Gen X kids had learned to take care of themselves early on, which has its pros and cons. The rose-colored glasses many Gen X adults view their childhoods through can sometimes cloud the parts that were not so great about growing up in the 70s and 80s. Sure, that benign neglect resulted in resilience and independence, but for some that came at the cost of parental relationships and a sense of safety and security. We have more knowledge now about things like mental health support, parent-child attachment, and healthy relationship dynamics, and some of that learning is reflected in shifting parenting practices.

As often happens, the pendulum may have swung too far from the absent parents of the 70s and 80s to the helicopter parents of the 90s and 2000s, of course, and the "right" approach (if there is one) probably lies somewhere in the middle. But it is still fun to look back on those iconic childhood experiences with joy and humor and appreciate that they helped us become who we are today.

This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.

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Watch the emotional evolution of someone's face after 1, 2, and 3 alcoholic beverages

Giggling might be induced just by seeing the transformation.

Curtesy of Marcos Alberti

Watch the emotional evolution of people after 1, 2 and, 3 glasses of wine

Having a glass of wine or two isn't uncommon for adults. Casual drinking in social situations acts as a social lubricant or just a tool to help some relax. Many people who partake in a glass of wine socially may not realize the physical changes that happen since it's generally not enough alcohol to cause intoxication. However, Brazilian photographer Marco Alberti begs to differ with his newly updated photography project, which photographs people before drinking and after consuming one, two, and then three glasses of wine.

The results of his "3 Glasses Down" project, which initially started as a joke between his friends, involved the photographer taking the same four sets of photos. The before-and-after pictures, along with the story of "three glasses," went viral, reaching over one million views on Imgur in the first week. That's what inspired Alberti to start taking photos of others.

The "3 Glasses Down" project, now known as "The Wine Project," has brought the photographer success, with his photos appearing across digital and traditional media outlets. Recently, he repeated the photography projects with all new subjects, and the images are just as convincing. One glass of wine does a little more than someone may think, and three glasses of wine cause the subject of the photo and viewers to break out in a smile.

Alberti tells the BBC that when he started the original project with his friends as the subjects, he had only recently discovered wine. "I just started drinking wine a month before this project," he explains to the outlet. "I was not used to drinking wine, so I thought of this project like a tribute. I need to do a tribute to wine because I just discovered how good it is, and the first idea that I have is to take pictures of my friends drinking, so, of course, it was funny to do. It was very nice to do it."

Since his initial catapulting into the spotlight with his photos of friends, he has refined the project and travels the world to capture the effects on others. His most recent project took place in New York.

On his website, he explains the process, saying, "The first picture was taken right away when our guests have just arrived at the studio to capture the stress and the fatigue after a full day after working all day long and from also facing rush hour traffic to get here. Only then fun time and my project could begin. At the end of every glass of wine, a snapshot, nothing fancy, a face and a wall, 3 times. People from all walks of life, music, art, fashion, dance, architecture, and advertising got together for a couple of nights, and by the end of the third glass, several smiles emerged, and many stories were told."

Once people start drinking, they become a little more chatty, so it's no surprise that Alberti heard some tales from his photography subjects. However, just like anything else, drinking should be done in moderation. While some studies suggest drinking red wine in moderation may have heart and other health benefits, the Mayo Clinic reminds people that more research is needed.

"But there might be other reasons for the lower risk of heart disease in people who drink red wine in moderation. For instance, they might eat a healthier diet and be more active than those who don't drink red wine. And they might have higher incomes and better access to health care as well," says the Mayo Clinic.

They also note that it's believed that the antioxidants in red wine are the main contributing factor to the wine having health benefits. The skin on the grapes contains those antioxidants, so the Mayo Clinic suggests eating grapes in place of wine if you're not a drinker.

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Dogs really do have favorite people, and here's how they decide who it will be

Sometimes their favorite people don't live in their house.

Photo credit: Canva

Dogs really do have favorite people. Here's how they decide

When my sister's dog, Junior, was on this side of the Rainbow Bridge, I was one of his favorite people. This dog would get full body wags every time I came around, and we'd spend most of the day cuddled up with each other. Now my dog, Cocolina, behaves in the same way whenever my sister comes to visit. But what goes into a dog deciding who their favorite person is? Spoiler, it's not always the person they live with.

Like humans, animals have their own personalities. You might rescue a dog thinking it will be the perfect companion, only to have the furry adoptee spend every waking moment following your partner around. You could spend hundreds of dollars on vet checkups, new harnesses, treats, and all the squeaky dog toys you can find, but that still won't be enough to convince a dog to love you. Instead of showering the giver of treats with kisses, they make goo-goo eyes at the pet sitter. It turns out they have their reasons.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Corgi cuddles spreading joy and smiles!Photo credit: Canva

Since our canine friends can't talk, we have to rely on the experts to explain what the deal is with how dogs pick their favorite human. Carol Erickson, a Pennsylvania SPCA animal advocate, gave a brief interview with CBS News Philadelphia to explain her take on how dogs determine their bestest, most favorite person.

"What it comes down to for all dogs is they decide their very favorite family member by who gives the most consistent, high-quality attention, play, and physical affection: ear rubs, scratches, that sort of thing. Dogs get positive associations from being around people who consistently provide positive experiences, including treats, meals, play that they enjoy, and remember also that early association in those first six months can influence who a dog may like better later on," she tells the outlet.

Rover backs up Erickson's claim that the first six months are crucial in determining who will become the dog's favorite person later in life. The website says, "Many dogs bond hardest to whoever cares for them during their key socialization period, which occurs between birth and six months." However, they later note that dogs can still be socialized appropriately even as adults.

The dog-sitting website also explains that it's not uncommon for people who are not the dog's primary caregiver to be their favorite person. Pointing out that physical affection is vital to dogs, if the mailman gives out head scratches daily but the owner doesn't, the mailman may become the dog's favorite person. While physical affection and treats go a long way for some pooches, those aren't the only things that get puppy eyes melting with love.

dogs; dogs favorite; dog's best friend; pets; people and pets; rescue animals Joyful moments with furry friends! 🐶❤️Photo credit: Canva

"While positive experiences play a big role, a dog’s favorite person isn’t always just the one holding the treat bag. Dogs also respond to emotional connection, tone of voice, and even body language. Their preferences are shaped by a mix of familiarity, trust, and how well a person understands their needs," explains Elle Vet Sciences. They later add, "Dogs also take emotional cues from us. If a person is stressed, loud, or inconsistent, a dog may be less likely to form a deep bond with them. On the other hand, someone who offers reassurance and stability often earns the title of 'favorite' without even realizing it."

In short, if you want to be your dog's bestie, being consistent with affection, actions, and even training and grooming will get you there a lot faster than treats alone. Dogs aren't trying to be persnickety; just like humans, they enjoy being around people who show them that they enjoy their company—and maybe some treats.

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A young girl was crying on a train. A group of rowdy men cheered her up with one song.

"Proof that kindness doesn't need to be planned."

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A young sad girl. A baby shark.

There are moments in time, loud and rowdy as they might be, that are reminders of the joyous, little snippets in life. Which is why it has been extra fun that a video from about five years ago has resurfaced, illustrating the best of humanity.

A young girl was on the metro in Rio de Janeiro, Brazil. According to @Kidofthreads's recent viral clip on Threads, she was very upset. The caption reads, "This is boys will be boys" and "A little girl was crying, and some drunk friends cheered her up with Baby Shark" (According to a post on Reddit, they are drunkenly coming from a night at Carnival, circa sometime before COVID).

View on Threads


In the Threads video, a group of men—a few also in dresses, earrings, and one even a short wedding veil—go into full clown mode. In unison, and with total passion, they begin singing the notorious earworm, "Baby shark, Doo doo ta do ta do, Baby shark," over and over again. An enormous grin crosses her face and she even begins to sing along.

This is a less-than-a-minute view into how worlds can collide, bringing happiness to (most) everybody on that train. The men were having the best time making the girl, and many of the passengers, feel their joy, and it spread like wildfire.

The comments on Threads (within one day there were nearly 1,000) are interesting. Many of them note, of course, the pure delight. One beautifully shares, "Proof that kindness doesn’t need to be planned. A group of drunk friends turned a crying kid’s night around with Baby Shark. Sometimes strangers remind us the world still has magic."

A young girl is cheered up by men singing Baby Shark. www.youtube.com, Caters Videos

But quite a few also point out how nurturing these men are, challenging stereotypes. One writes, "When we say 'not all men,' this is who we’re referring to." Another adds, "This is what masculinity looks like when it's not toxic." And this one perfectly states, "‘Boys will be boys’ should refer to stuff like this. This is the goofiest, most wholesome thing I’ve ever watched."

On the Subreddit r/MadeMeSmile, hundreds of people commented on the "Baby Shark Metro" video. Many discuss the "happy drunkenness" of it all, but one Redditor shares a similarly heartwarming story: "I was new in Germany in 2016 when a bunch of FC Köln supporters went onto the tram. I was with my wife and my 2-year-old daughter at that time."

What happens next is adorable: "They were all super drunk and singing like there was no tomorrow. As they see my sleeping daughter in her stroller, they immediately stop shouting, but they keep singing — but in whisper. Just imagine dozens of muscular, tattooed football hooligans, drunk and singing soooo softly. I still remember that thing to this day."

- YouTube www.youtube.com



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Teen creates earring that snaps pictures and alerts police in the event of an assault

The South African teen is helping address the high volume of gender-based violence in her country.

Photo credit: Canva

Teen creates earring that snaps pictures and alerts police in event of an assault

Gender-based violence is a problem in countries across the globe, but is especially prevalent in South Africa. While laws and societal views are slowly shifting towards making women feel more comfortable reporting assaults, people have been trying to find ways to mitigate the harm. In 2015, four college students invented color-changing nail polish to help detect the presence of "date-rape drugs" in drinks. A 16-year-old girl and her brother invented a hair scrunchie that doubles as a drink cover to prevent drinks from being spiked.

Bohlale Mphahlele of Limpopo, South Africa, is joining the list of young people thinking outside the box to help keep women safe. At just 16 years old, she decided to do something to help women identify their attackers while also getting them help faster. The SJ van der Merwe Technical High School student created an earpiece that fits on the ear like an earring, except it's not. The device is multiple things in one, designed not only to help collect photographic evidence of an assaulter but also to help prevent human trafficking.

safety; gender-based violence; safety invention; human trafficking; domestic violence; teen inventors Contemplative moment at the bar.Photo credit: Canva

There's a lot of tech packed into that small earring-like device, and all of it will assist in keeping women as safe as possible. According to the 2024 South Africa’s Human Sciences Research Council report, more than one in three women of the 5,603 women who participated in the study reported experiencing sexual or physical violence within their lifetime. Just like many women in America don't report assaults due to stigma or fear of not being believed, the same is true for the women in South Africa. Mphahlele is throwing them a lifeline.

The device, aptly named the Alerting Earpiece, is designed to operate with a simple, discreet press of a button. Fiddling with an earring wouldn't be abnormal in any situation. The button being easily accessible in that manner will allow wearers to press it without suspicion. What happens after they push the Alerting Earpiece can be lifesaving.

It acts as a wearable panic device, not only alerting trusted, pre-selected people that you need help, but also alerting law enforcement. The faux earring sends your live GPS location and silently captures photos of the assailant through the tiny front-facing camera. All of that is jam-packed into something that can fit on someone's ear. The camera will provide crucial evidence that can be lacking in these situations, especially if the attacker gets away. The GPS will also enable police to receive the alert in real-time, which can be a game-changer in terms of timeline.

safety; gender-based violence; safety invention; human trafficking; domestic violence; teen inventors Friends enjoying drinks and conversation at a cozy bar.Photo credit: Canva

According to Uzalendo News, judges praised the teen's invention, awarding her the bronze medal at the Eskom Expo for Young Scientists. Mphahlele explains to the same outlet, "that the rise in reported cases of abuse, especially among women and young girls, inspired her to think about practical safety solutions." She emphasized that "technology should be used not just for convenience but to protect the vulnerable."

safety; gender-based violence; safety invention; human trafficking; domestic violence; teen inventors Left: Elegant earring. Right: Bartender pours drinks.Photo credit: Canva

The invention is making waves across South Africa, with the Limpopo Department of Education praising the prototype, and calls from Education Member of the Executive Council Polly Boshielo for investments to enable the device to be mass-produced. The teen isn't standing idly by; she is also actively seeking investors, partnerships, and technical support to refine the device and bring it to consumers, according to iOL.

This clever invention could save lives across the globe and give victims of violent crime a fighting chance at justice.

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