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What I said to God after the San Bernardino mass shooting.

In the aftermath of yesterday's mass shooting in San Bernardino, numerous elected officials responded to the tragedy by offering their "thoughts and prayers."



The tweets, largely by Republican politicians, sparked a heated debate online about the worth (or worthlessness) of prayer as a response to mass shootings, particularly from elected officials and presidential candidates who have taken no legislative action on gun control.

The media backlash to their tweets was swift.



But none was as bold and controversial as the NY Daily News, who released this as their cover for today:


The meaning of the headline is clear.

There is something so disrespectful, so empty, so infuriating about people invoking God as a platitude while abdicating all responsibility for their contribution to the current reality and denying their power — and responsibility — to change it.

And to add insult to injury, many of those same politicians sending thoughts and prayers received donations from the NRA, actively working to block gun control legislation.

As a person of faith, when I saw the cover and the many people who tweeted various versions of "Don't pray. Act." I cringed.

No, I am not waiting on a mystical, magical being to fly down from the sky on a chariot and fling all the guns into the flames of hell (although, God, if you're reading this and you ever want to really show off...).

I cringed because those politicians had made a mockery of prayer and reinforced a terrible myth about faith: that it is a comfortable and easy excuse for inaction. For most people I know, prayerdoes not in any way replace action. Prayer is, in fact, when I am most compelled and convicted to do more — to do the bold thing, the hard thing, the right thing.

It is my private preparation with God before going out into the world and doing the work that can seem futile, but can only be done through me, with my hands, with my voice, and with my vote.

So, yes. I prayed after yesterday's shooting.

Not sure it's what the Republican presidential candidates had in mind, but here is what I said:

Dear God,

I know that my feelings today pale in comparison to the those whose loved ones didn't come home today. Or yesterday. Or any day that precious lives are snatched by gun violence.

My heart breaks for them. But alsoI am tired. I am afraid. I am baffled. And I am angry.

Let me not be so consumed by those emotions that I become just another cynical, broken person in a world of cynical, broken people, feeling overwhelmed and resigned, spewing mindless chatter that helps no one and changes nothing.

Help me not feel powerless. That is not who I was created to be.

Even when it doesn't feel or look like it, I need to know I have the power to bend the arc of history toward justice, safety and life.

To tell you the truth, God, I don't always believe that I do. Sometimes it feels that today's challenges are too complex, too deeply rooted; that hatred, sickness, fear, and death will continue to win; and that goodness, integrity, lov,e and common sense will continue to lose.

But you know what? Let this prayer be my repentance.

I am sorry for doubting my power. And because repentance literally means "to turn away from sin," this isn't just an apology — true repentance is an apology with commitment.

So let this prayer also be my commitment to the following:

I will never again miss an opportunity to politically and economically harm the "leaders" who allow this. I will faithfully make them pay for their cowardice, moral bankruptcy, and utter failure to serve us. It won't just be out of pure spite or malice for the blood that is on their hands (I know you don't want me to be spiteful or malicious), but isn't that how democracy works?

I will add more offline work to my online activism. I'll show up more with my body, not just my heart and my Wi-Fi.

I will pay more attention to where my money goes and work harder to make sure that it doesn't go into the hands of those who stand in the way of gun control legislation or those who continue to spew hate-filled rhetoric and lies.

And I will never again doubt that we can change the system that fosters and protects hatred, sickness, fear, and death.

But as I commit to those things, here is what I am asking of you, God:

When I am tired of thinking about this, when I want to turn off the TV and pretend that this didn't happen, when I want to forget about it until the next shooting, I ask that you prick my heart. Make me remember.

Make me feel the pain so sharply that I can't ignore it and I can't just walk away and move on, because it is that kind of nagging pain that sustains passion.

Please strengthen me as I use not just my passion but everything that I have — my voice, my money, my access, my political agency — to fight, and help me to make wise decisions in how I devote each of those things to be most effective.

Thank you for the mind, feet, and hands that you gave me to do the work. I won't deny the enormity of the job that you have equipped me — and all of us — to do. But I know that we who are good, we who stand on the side of love, life, and peace — we with our righteous anger — we can and will stop this.

Amen

P.S. One more thing, I almost forgot. For anyone sending "thoughts and prayers" to you today while simultaneously standing in our way, I send thoughts and prayers for them right back. They're going to need them.

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Three women, three MS journeys: How multiple sclerosis looks different for everyone

Gina, Nathalie and Helga share their reactions to being diagnosed with MS and how they stay informed and positive in the face of ever-changing symptoms.

Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga, Nathalie and Gina all have MS, and their experiences show how differently the disease can manifest.

True

It’s been 155 years since neurologist Jean-Martin Charcot gave the first lecture on a mysterious progressive illness he called “multiple sclerosis.” Since then, we’ve learned a lot. We know MS causes the immune system to attack healthy tissue, including damaging the brain and spinal cord. Resulting symptoms can be debilitating and include fatigue, blurred vision, memory problems and weakness. Huge advancements in our understanding of MS and its underlying causes, as well as treatment advances, have been made in the past few decades, but MS remains a complex and unpredictable reality for the 2.8 million+ people diagnosed around the world.

Ironically, the only real constant for people living with MS is change. There’s no set pattern or standard progression of the disease, so each person’s experience is unique. Some people with MS have mild symptoms that worsen slowly but sometimes improve, while others can have severe symptoms that drastically alter their daily lives.

All people with MS share some things in common, however, such as the need to stay informed on the ever-evolving research, find various lines of support and try to remain hopeful as they continue living with the disease.

To better understand what navigating life with MS really looks like, three women shared their MS stories with us. Their journeys demonstrate how MS can look different for different people and interestingly, how the language used to talk about the disease can greatly impact how people understand their realities.

woman with horse, woman riding horseGina loves riding her horse, Benita.Courtesy of Sanofi

Gina—Hamburg, Germany (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2017)

When her youngest son was 4 months old, Gina started having problems with her eye. She’d soon learn she was experiencing optic neuritis—her first symptom of MS.

“Immediately after the diagnosis, I looked up facts on MS because I didn’t know anything about it,” Gina says. “And as soon as I knew what could really happen with this disease, I actually got scared.”

As her family’s primary income provider, she worried about how MS would impact her ability to work as a writer and editor. Her family was afraid she was going to end up in a wheelchair. However, for now, Gina’s MS is managed well enough that she still works full-time and is able to be active.

“When I tell somebody that I have MS, they often don't believe me the first time because I don't fulfill any stereotypes,” she says.

Overwhelmed by negative perspectives on living with MS, Gina sought support in the online MS community, which she found to be much more positive.

“I think it’s important to use as many positive words as you can when talking about MS.” It’s important to be realistic while also conveying hope, she says. “MS is an insidious disease that can cause many bad symptoms…that can be frightening, and you can't gloss over it, either.”

To give back to the online community that helped her so much, Gina started a blog to share her story and help others trying to learn about their diagnosis.

Though she deals with fatigue and cognitive dysfunction sometimes, Gina stays active swimming, biking, riding horses and playing with her sons, who are now 11 and 6.

Cognitive dysfunction is common in MS, with over half of people affected. It can impact memory, attention, planning, and word-finding. As with many aspects of MS, some people experience mild changes, while others face more challenges.

Gina says that while there’s still a lot of education about MS needed, she feels positive about the future of MS because there’s so much research being done.

woman in wheelchair holding medal, woman rowingNathalie is an award-winning rower with multiple international titles.Courtesy of Sanofi

Nathalie — Pennes Mirabeau, France (diagnosed with relapsing-remitting multiple sclerosis in 2002)

Nathalie was a teenager and a competitive athlete when she noticed her first symptoms of MS, but it would take four years of “limbo” before she was diagnosed.

“Ultimately, the diagnosis was more of a relief, than a shock,” she says. “Because when you have signs and you don’t know why, it’s worse than knowing, in the end, what you have.”

However, learning more about the disease—and the realities of disease progression—scared her.

“That glimpse of the future was direct and traumatic,” she says. Her neurologist explained that the disease evolves differently for everyone, and her situation might end up being serious or very mild. So, she decided to stop comparing herself to others with MS.

She said to herself, “We’ll see what happens, and you’ll manage it bit by bit.”

By 2005, Nathalie’s MS had progressed to the point of needing a wheelchair. However, that has not dampened her competitive spirit.

Nathalie began her international rowing career in 2009 and has won multiple world titles, including two Paralympic medals—silver in London and bronze in Tokyo. Now, at 42, she still trains 11 times a week. Fatigue can be a problem, and sometimes hard workouts leave her with muscle stiffness and shaking, but she credits her ongoing sports career for helping her feel in tune with her body’s signals.

“Over the years, I’ve learned to listen to my body, letting my body guide when I need to stop and take breaks,” she says.

Nathalie explains that she used to only look backwards because of the initial shock of her diagnosis. In time, she stopped thinking about what she couldn’t do anymore and focused on her future. She now lives in the following mindset: “Even when doors close, don’t miss out on those that open.” Instead of focusing on what she can’t do, she focuses on the opportunities she still has. Right now, this includes her training for the 2024 Paralympic Games in Paris, where she will compete for another rowing medal.

“I only go forward,” she says. “Well, I try, anyway…It’s easy to say, it’s not always easy to do. But that’s what I try to do.”

woman exiting water after swimming, woman with great daneHelga's Great Dane has become a helpful and beloved companion.Courtesy of Sanofi

Helga—Johannesburg, South Africa (diagnosed with relapsing multiple sclerosis in 2010)

When Helga first started having balance issues and numbness in her feet, she chalked it up to her training as a runner. But when the numbness moved to her face, she knew something was wrong. She never guessed it was MS.

“When I was diagnosed, I felt completely overwhelmed and clueless,” Helga says. “I felt that I had nowhere near enough information. I did not know anything about the disease…I had no idea that it was going to be a process of continually monitoring and adjusting your lifestyle.”

In the beginning, Helga’s symptoms developed slowly, and she didn’t appear ill to others. She was even able to run for a few years after her diagnosis, but she couldn’t do marathons anymore, and she began to fall frequently due to balance issues and right-foot dragging. Then her cognition issues became more problematic, especially in her job as a trainer in a printing company.

“My executive function, decision-making and short-term memory were affected to the point that I was eventually medically unfit for work,” she says. She stopped working in 2017.

However, she didn’t stop living life. Even though she could no longer run, she continued to swim competitively. She got a Great Dane puppy and trained him as a service dog to help her walk. She also serves as vice chair of the patient support organization Multiple Sclerosis South Africa, and she advises others who have been diagnosed to join a patient advocacy group as soon as possible to get reliable information and meet others with MS.

Helga says she is “hopeful” about the future of MS. “I must say that I am so grateful that we have all the new medications available, because my life would not be the same if it wasn't for that,” she adds.

Part of how she manages her MS is by looking at the positives.

“If I could tell the world one thing about MS, it would be that MS is an incurable disease of the nervous system, but it's also the greatest teacher of valuing your health, family, friends, and managing change in your life,” she says. “My life is diversified in a way that I never, ever thought it would, and MS has been honestly the greatest teacher.”

Each MS journey is unique – with each person impacted experiencing different struggles, successes, and feelings as they manage this unpredictable disease. But the common thread is clear – there is a critical need for information, support, and hope. We are proud to participate in World MS Day and share these incredible stories of living life while living with MS. To learn more about MS, go to https://www.sanofi.com/why-words-really-matter-when-it-comes-to-multiple-sclerosis.

MAT-GLB-2301642-v1.0-05/2023

This article was sponsored by Sanofi. Participants were compensated when applicable.

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