Every parent knows getting dirty and messy is practically part of a kid's job description.
Whether they're playing outside, coloring on the floor, or just eating, they'll definitely get covered in something grimy.
Given that inevitable result, there are at least two ways parents can react — obsessively clean their child and scold them for their actions or simply embrace the mess.
And while it may seem strange to do the latter, it actually can be beneficial for everyone involved.
Letting kids have the freedom to get dirty encourages a level of confidence around the unknown world out there. And such an attitude can make them much more capable of navigating their life ahead.
Harley Hawkins getting up close and personal with dirt. Photo via Zoe Hawkins, used with permission.
Plus, letting kids revel in the dirt actually helps boost their immune systems.
"If we are overly sterile and don't expose the immune system to the germs it's supposed to fight, that skews the immune system to an allergic and self-reactive response," explains Samantha Lin, assistant professor of medicine in the Division of Allergy, Immunology, and Rheumatology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill.
That's why Lin lets her own son play and explore uninhibited.
"I don't jump to stop him if he wants to get in the sand, dirt, mud, leaves, water running out of the waterspout, etc.," Lin says. "If your immune system is working correctly, then these exposures should not make you sick."
And best of all? Being pro-dirt can make parents' lives less stressful since they don't feel compelled to police their kids' behavior as much.
Via iStock.
We spoke with six parents to learn why it pays to give kids the freedom to get dirty.
Their answers are as enlightening as they are hilarious.
1. Zoe Hawkins from Arizona encourages her daughter, Harley, to play with food.
Harley digging in at mealtime. Photo by Zoe Hawkins.
"Using their hands, babies learn to feed themselves, learning the difference in taste and texture between a piece of toast and a spoonful of yoghurt and a wedge of cheese or meat," Hawkins writes on her blog.
"No force feeding, no 'here comes the airplane,' just letting the little one figure out food in a positive, fun way, hopefully setting the tone for a future of wonderful dinner-time experiences and discoveries."
2. Minnesota native Emily Conigliaro made a mud kitchen, and now kids from the neighborhood play there.
Experimentation in the mud kitchen! Photo by Emily Conigliaro, used with permission.
"My daughter really loved to dig in the garden and get muddy," explains Conigliaro. "I poked around on Pinterest and saw the idea for a mud kitchen. So I dug stuff I had out of the garage and found pavers and bricks. Then took a trip with her to the thrift store to pick out what tools she wanted."
"The mud keeps her, as well as most of the other kids in our neighborhood, very busy! They all really love to get dirty," she continues. "They will even sometimes paint themselves with mud. This year we planted some wildflowers next to the mud kitchen so the kids can pick flowers and plants to add to their masterpieces."
3. Living in the infamously dirty city of New York, Andrew Dahl has relaxed into letting his daughter touch most everything.
"She loves grabbing subway poles, and I let her go to town," Dahl says. "She undoubtedly gets far, far more germs at day care, so it's not worth getting too concerned about some subway gunk. She's also all about putting rocks and dirt in her mouth."
Believe it or not, city kids tend to have stronger immune systems becauseof their exposure to busy public spaces like the subway.
4. Los Angeles mom Diana Metzger lets her baby get messy for the same reason she lets her dog do it — it makes them happy.
Izzy Metzger playing in the sand. Photo by Diana Metzger, used with permission.
"When Izzy was about 1 and a half, a bunch of milk got spilled on the floor, and we let her slide around in it and move it all around with her hands," Metzger recalls. "She was a total mess, as was the kitchen floor, but she was laughing and having so much fun exploring that, so why stop her?"
Metzger continues, "Also I have the same motto about Izzy at a playground as I do for my dog Harper at the dog park (or Izzy at the dog park for that matter). Dirty equals happy, which equals tired."
5. Julie G.'s experience cleaning her daughter's car seat is probably one that many parents can relate to.
Julie G's daughter on the playground. Photo via Julie G., used with permission.
"I use 'dirt is good' to justify just about everything," Julie G. explains. "Most recently, we've had a lot of rain, and my daughter got muddy footprints on her car seat cover. I decided to wash it yesterday for the first time in a year and a half. I was shaking it out over the grass outside first to get rid of crumbs. A Twizzler fell out into the grass, and my daughter ate it. Not too bad except she has only had Twizzlers once, on a road trip, in May."
It may sound gross, but hey, that sort of bold eating might help her be less picky when she's older.
6. And Carol Berkow from Pleasantville, New York, knows her daughter's messes are just part of the building blocks of life.
Helen Berkow enjoying a meal. Photo by Carol Berkow, used with permission.
"She likes to squish things between her fingers, rub them all over her face, stick her face into bowls of food, rub food in her hair, throw everything, and feed the dog," Berkow says. "As much as I'd like things to stay neat at mealtime, and not to have to wash the baby, the table, and the chair three times a day, she needs to learn to feed herself, and she won't learn any other way."
As you can see, dirtiness can have so many benefits, most of which would never be realized if parents force their kids to stay clean.
Of course, getting dirty often requires regular laundering, and some families don't have that luxury. Without easy access to a washing machine, cleaning clothes takes time, energy and money — things some families can't always afford.
The good news is that there are companies like Whirlpool who created the Care Counts™ laundry program – installing washers and dryers in schools to give families in need access to clean clothes.That way, every parent can let their kids get dirty without worrying how they're going to eventually get their clothes clean.
Via iStock.
Learn more about how the simple act of laundry is helping improve attendance by visitingWhirlpool's Care Counts™ website.
Having the freedom to get dirty should be something every child enjoys. Not only is it fun, it allows them to explore their world with reckless abandon and learn about themselves. This is just one way to help turn what's become a privilege into every child's right.
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.