This mom's visual aid for her husband explaining why she's cranky in the morning is hilarious and true.
Breastfeeding mom Mattea Goff wanted to show her husband why she's "not in the best of moods first thing in the morning," so she drew a series of cartoons to show him what's happening through the night while he sleeps.
The series begins with the couple sleeping while their baby snoozes in a cot next to the bed. Gott drew an arrow pointing to her husband's shirtless chest with the label "useless nipples," and every nursing mother immediately laughed out loud.
Then, "2 hours later . . ." Baby starts crying, Mom jolts awake, and Dad continues to saw logs.
That scene alone is familiar to moms everywhere. Then it gets even more real.
In the second drawing, Mom dutifully nurses Baby, which is not necessarily the tranquil, soothing act one might think it would be. This wee one appears to be a slapper. The bags under Mom's eyes make it clear that she's unable to doze through this feeding/slapfest.
Meanwhile, Dad has rolled over, but is still snoozing away.
Then it's time to switch sides because Baby's not done yet. As Mom gets repeatedly impaled by tiny Baby's claws, she thinks, "I really need to clip her nails."
Meanwhile, Dad and his "still useless nipples" are still sleeping.
Baby gets done eating, then spits up, because of course. While Mom musters every ounce of energy she has to clean it up, Dad continues to sleep the night away.
Now Baby is sleeping next to Mom. If you're wondering why she hasn't put Baby back in the cot, my experienced guess is it's because Mom is too tired to see straight, much less care that she's sleeping in a wet spot and being kicked by her mini-human, who appears to be trying to make its way back into her uterus.
Plus, Baby's just going to want to nurse again in an hour anyway. But Baby is sweaty because tiny tykes turn into ovens when they sleep. Mom is freezing because Dad keeps rolling over and pulling off her covers. And Dad? Still happily snoozing the night away.
This is all. Too. Real.
Finally, morning arrives. Baby is zonked out peacefully between Mom and Dad. Mom is a fried-out, touched-out mess because she hasn't had four hours of uninterrupted sleep in months and has been wrangling a hungry, squirmy, pukey, sweaty baby all night.
Meanwhile, Dad and his "still completely useless" nipples wake up bright-eyed and bushy-tailed with, "Good morning, honey! Isn't sleeping in great? Let's cuddle!"
Goff's cartoon clearly resonated with moms everywhere, as it's been shared more than 170,000 times on Facebook.
Mattea Goff isn't a celebrity or a mom blogger or an internet influencer. She's an average mom sharing an average night's sleep with a breastfeeding baby. Maybe that's why her hand-drawn cartoon hit home with so many parents—she nailed an experience that so many of us have had.
The fact that she had to literally draw it out for her husband is hilariously familiar. My husband was highly involved in the care of our babies, but I exclusively breastfed them for the first six months, so nighttime nursing was my reality. It wasn't my husband's fault that his nipples were so useless and I didn't blame him for getting much-needed rest, but his ability to sleep through most of my wakings meant he couldn't always grasp how freaking tired I was.
Speaking of which, if anyone feels defensive on behalf of well-rested dads, Goff explained on a follow-up Facebook post that her cartoon wasn't an attempt to shame her husband:
I think the majority of people got exactly what I was trying to convey, but, just to be clear I really wasn't trying to vilify the one person who is getting some sleep, my husband, aka Mr. Useless Nipples. Breastfeeding exclusively was my decision, and it's something my husband supports and greatly appreciates. He's a very involved father in so many other ways. It's true that even the best of dads can step it up now and again and I may or may not fantasize about kicking him off the bed when he is able to sleep through most midnight adventures (a talent I do not possess...). Being a mom is seriously hard work, but so is being a good dad and I love and appreciate him for it. #uselessnipples#weloveourdads
Don't worry. We got it. And it was awesome.