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The Virginia shooter had a history of domestic violence. That's tragically ordinary.

The shooting at a GOP congressional baseball practice on June 14 was allegedly carried out by a man with a history of violence.

Photo by Alex Wong/Getty Images.

Specifically, violence against women.

Alleged shooter James T. Hodgkinson reportedly dragged his daughter out of a neighbor's house by her hair in 2006, according to The Washington Post. When she attempted to flee in a car, Hodgkinson broke in and attempted to cut her out of her seatbelt with a pocket knife.


This isn't extraordinary. In fact, it's tragically ordinary.

A 2015 New York Times report found that in 57% of mass shootings, current or former intimate partners or family members of the shooter were among the victims.

In incidents that don't involve partners or family — like in the recent attack on the Republican congressmen — the killer still frequently has a history of assault against a female partner or family member.

The kind of mass violence that devastates whole communities and rips apart the lives of strangers often begins at home. For the perpetrators of 12 of the most high-profile mass attacks between 2012 and 2017 around the globe, women were their first victims.

1. Esteban Santiago, who killed five at the Fort Lauderdale airport, was arrested the previous year for hitting and strangling his girlfriend.

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

"Santiago verbally assaulted his then girlfriend, a 40-year old mother of one child from a previous marriage whom The Daily Beast is not naming, through a locked bathroom door, telling her to 'Get the fuck out, bitch.' After he forced his way in by breaking down the door, he smacked her in the head and strangled her." — The Daily Beast, Jan. 7, 2017

2. Omar Mateen, the Pulse nightclub shooter, allegedly attacked his wife numerous times, which prompted her to flee and file for divorce.

Photo by Gerardo Mora/Getty Images.

In Sitora Yusufiy's own words: "Once, he woke up to find me on the phone with my cousin and started kicking me. He threatened to kill me if I left him. Another time, I was asleep in front of the TV when he pulled me up by the hair and started slapping me, and then choking me until I gasped for air. He claimed it was because I hadn't done the laundry." Marie Claire, Sept. 26, 2016

3. Mohamed Lahouaiej-Bouhlel, who murdered 86 people with a truck at a Bastille Day celebration in Nice, France, had been accused of spousal abuse.

Photo by Valery Hache/Getty Images.

"A woman who knows the family told the BBC Lahouaiej-Bouhlel had been thrown out of their home in the Le Ray area of Nice more than a year ago after allegedly beating his wife." — BBC, Aug. 19, 2016

4. Dallas cop-killer Micah Johnson was, allegedly, a serial harasser of fellow soldiers while in the military.

Photo by Spencer Platt/Getty Images.

"Superiors of Johnson accused the deceased murderer of 'egregious sexual harassment,' while he was serving deployment in Afghanistan. They recommended he receive a dishonorable discharge, but for reasons unknown to them, he left the military with an honorable discharge." — Salon, July 16, 2016

5. Cedric Ford, who killed three of his co-workers at a Kansas lawnmower factory in 2016, had recently been served a domestic violence order.

"The order, posted by the Wichita Eagle on its website, was sought by an unidentified woman who had been living with Ford and said he had been physically abusive. She wrote in the order that he was alcoholic, violent, depressed and in need of medical and psychological help." — Reuters, Feb. 27, 2016

6. Robert Lewis Dear, who murdered three outside a Colorado Planned Parenthood clinic in 2015, was accused of abuse by two of his ex-wives and had been arrested and accused of rape.

Image by Handout/Getty Images.

"In the divorce papers, Micheau said Dear threw her around a room by her hair on one occasion and beat her head against the ground. In the affidavit, she said Dear 'erupts into fury in a matter of seconds,' and that she 'lived in fear and dread of his emotional and physical abuse.'" The Washington Post, Dec. 1, 2015

7. John Houser, who killed two women at a screening of "Trainwreck" in 2015, was accused of "acts of family violence" by his wife, daughter, and others.

Photo by Yuri Gripas/Getty Images.

"Among those listed as wanting protection from Houser were his daughter's fiancé and future in-laws, as well as his wife's aunt. At the time, Houser's wife, Kellie, told police she was so concerned about his propensity for violence that she removed all the guns and weapons from their home." — CBS News, July 24, 2015

8. Ismaaiyl Brinsley first shot his ex-girlfriend before shooting and killing two New York police officers in 2014.

Photo by Jewel Samad/Getty Images.

"Baltimore County Police responded to a call at Brinsley's ex-girlfriend's home in the Baltimore suburb of Owings Mills, Maryland around 5:48 a.m. on Saturday. Brinsley had shot the 29-year-old woman in the stomach and fled, cops said." — CBS News, Dec. 21, 2014

9. Man Haron Monis, who took hostages in a deadly 2014 standoff in Sydney, Australia, had been charged with sexual assault dozens of times.

Photo by Daniel Munoz/Getty Images.

"A 27-year-old woman complained to police that she had been sexually assaulted by Monis, after attending 'spiritual healing sessions' in response to an advertisement placed in newspapers aimed at the Fijian-Indian, Macedonian, Spanish and Chinese communities." — Sydney Morning Herald, Dec. 16, 2014

10. Isla Vista killer Elliot Rodger wrote in his diary about splashing hot coffee on women who didn't pay enough attention to him.

Photo by Robyn Beck/Getty Images.

"Rodger wrote that he splashed two 'hot blonde girls' with his Starbucks latte at an Isla Vista bus stop after they 'didn't even deign to smile back' after he smiled at them." — CNN, May 27, 2014

12. Boston Marathon bomber Tamerlan Tsarnaev was arrested for domestic violence four years before the attack.

Photo by Stan Honda/Getty Images.

"Police responding to the distress call said they arrived to find the couple in a car in front of the house. The officers say they approached Tsarnaev, who stepped out of the vehicle and told them the woman had been 'yelling at him because of another girl.' 'I asked the suspect if he had hit the victim, and he said "Yes, I slapped her,"' the Cambridge officer wrote in the report." —ABC News, April 22, 2013

12. Before killing three of his wife's co-workers in Wisconsin in 2012, Radcliffe Franklin Haughton had been exhibiting violent and controlling behavior toward his wife.

"A man suspected of opening fire at a Wisconsin salon where his wife worked, killing three women and wounding four others, had a history of domestic abuse and had been arrested for slashing his wife's tires a few weeks earlier, police said." — San Diego Union-Tribune, Oct. 22, 2012

It's time to take domestic violence seriously — both as a public and social health crisis.

Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

Attacks on intimate partners and family members have a nasty habit of leading to much, much worse.

In an age where mass shootings and terror attacks are proliferating, encourage your lawmakers and local law enforcement to enforce prohibitions against those convicted of domestic violence owning deadly firearms.

If someone you know is being abused, it may not benefit them to go to the police right away. Instead, experts recommend, ask the victim what they need, keep a journal of events, and when the time is right, help them create a safety plan where you can communicate discreetly.

You can also reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline for help.

It might just save more than one life.

Correction 6/16/2017: The original share image for this post included a photograph of Dzhokhar Tsarnaev, not Tamerlan Tsarnaev. The image has been updated to include a picture of Esteban Santiago in its place.

True


Life can be bleak, so we’re going to be celebrating the small joys while we can—whether that’s asweet snack that boosts your mood (courtesy of our friends atAll In), or a spontaneous moment between strangers that's so joyful it restores your faith in the algorithm (even if only for a second). These momentary mood boosters are everywhere you look—you just have to be able to find them underneath all the noise. And that’s where we come in.

Consider this weekly web series your cheat sheet to the best of the Internet—not just random memes to make you laugh, but examples of people truly finding something extraordinary in the mundane. Each Friday we'll be delivering five pieces of media that allow you to stop for a second, take a breath, and feel just a little bit brighter among the daily stress. (Think of us as your chronically online bestie who knows exactly how to make you smile, exactly when you need it the most.)

Ready to smile? Here we go.

1. The best travel buddy surprise 

@tarareynolds03

Surprising Grandson with going on vacation with him.

♬ original sound - Tara Leanne Reynolds
This sweet grandson thought he was just heading out on vacation—until he spotted a very familiar face at the airport. The moment he sees Grandma standing there, his jaw literally drops. He sets his backpack down and then runs straight into her arms for the biggest hug. "Oh my God! You're coming with us to Jamaica, right?!" he asks her, already smiling from ear to ear. It's the kind of unscripted joy that makes you want to call your own grandma to say hi—and other TikTokers are having all the feels in the comments section: "This brought me to tears," says user KE. "I would kill to go on another vacation with my grandma again. She passed in February. Take so many pictures!"

2. Saying 'thank you' to a very special teacher 

Last week, we shared a question on Upworthy’s Instagram that sparked an outpouring of heartfelt responses:
“If you could say thank you to one person right now, who would it be, and why?”

For Kate Delisle, a teacher in North Andover, Massachusetts, the answer came instantly: her longtime colleague and teaching assistant, Jeanne Donovan.

“Jeanne has been by my side for seventeen years,” Kate shared. “Next year, we’ll have to split our program — and we won’t be working together anymore.” In her message, Kate described Jeanne as more than just a coworker. She’s supportive, empathetic, and “my right arm — someone who lights up every room she enters. I’m privileged to know her and consider her family.”

To celebrate that incredible bond, our friends at All In recently paid a surprise visit to Kate and Jeanne at their school — letting Jeanne know just how deeply appreciated she is by her colleagues and students alike. And get this: Jeanne is *so* beloved that Kate's parents, kids, sister, and husband all came to the surprise to honor her alongside everyone else. A true tear-jerker and a must-watch.

3. The proudest big brother

@caylaleighbrown This is the original video, He also said it looks like Mike Wazowski after we got done crying LOL #fyp #infertility #infertilityjourney #twins #twinpregnancy #ultrasound #pregnancyafterinfertility #pregnancyannouncement #twinannouncement #twinsies #twinmom ♬ original sound - Cayla Brown ✨ WDW

Grab your tissues for this one. After eight long years of hoping for another baby, TikTok user Cayla Lee Brown surprises her stepson Caleb with a sonogram photo—and his reaction is nothing short of beautiful. When Caleb realizes not only that he's going to be a big brother but that twin siblings are on the way, his eyes well up and he whispers "We're having twins?!" Cue the heart explosion. In a follow-up video, Cayla shares something that makes this news extra special: Caleb isn't actually her biological child, and although she considers Caleb her son she wasn't sure she'd be able to have biological children at all. "[Caleb] was my gift and I was blessed with two more," she explains. This video is the best reminder that love makes a family, and sometimes the best surprises take a little time.

4. Overly excited dogs 

@puppylovestoplay6 Part23: When they hear a word they like#dog#funny#funnyanimals#funnypets#animals #dogsofttiktok #pet #foryou #longervideos#foryou#fyp #funnyvideo ♬ original sound - Puppylovestoplay

This feel-good compilation is basically a highlight reel of dogs at their happiest: realizing they’re about to go on a walk. From excited tail wags to full-body zoomies, every pup in this video gives a masterclass in unfiltered enthusiasm. One especially clever owner even uses sign language to say “walk,” just to see if their dog picks up on it—and spoiler: the reaction is still pure chaos (the joyful kind). These dogs just know, and they are ready (read: unhinged.) Truly a reminder that the simplest things—in this case, some fresh air and a little adventure—are what spark the most joy.

5.Bunny ASMR

@megancottone The way she munched down the carrot ribbon #bunnies ♬ Married Life (From "Up") - Gina Luciani

If you've had a stressful day, allow this floofy little friend to press the reset button on your brain. TikTok creator @megancottone gives us a full 60 seconds of bunny bliss: one ridiculously adorable rabbit, some deliciously crunchy snacks, and the kind of soft background music that makes your heart rate drop in the best way. The gentle munching noises? Therapeutic. The fuzzy face and floppy ears? Instant joy. It’s like nature’s version of white noise—but cuter. Honestly, someone get this bunny a wellness podcast deal.

For even more “extra”-ordinary moments, come find us on social media (@upworthy) or on upworthy.com!

For scrumptious snacks that add an extra boost of joy to your day, be sure to check out All In.

Canva Photos

A viral TikTok argues that women don't want to give up the joy of their own personal peace and freedom for anyone.

There's been a lot of discourse on the state of modern dating and a lot of theories on why it seems harder than ever for people to find connection with romantic partners. Could it be that the achievement and education gaps between men and women are altering the dynamics? Have social media and dating apps broken our brains and hearts? Do we all have unrealistic expectations and unlimited options, leading to never feeling satisfied with anything or anyone?

Those are all intriguing options, but an alternate theory has recently arisen that's quickly gaining steam: Maybe being single isn't as lonely as we think. Maybe being single is actually freaking awesome.

A guy on TikTok who goes by Get To the Point Bro shared a hilarious monologue on why women who have been single for a long time "don't want to date anymore." Women say he absolutely nailed it.

the office, andy bernard, dating, relationships, dating advice, single, romance, loveThe Frenchman's monologue was absolutely spot onGiphy

At first, it might seem like he's poking fun, either at single women or at the men who can't seem to win them over. But not so! What he's done is perfectly captured the joy many people find in being single and, frankly, able to do whatever the hell they want.

"Some women have been single for so long they don't date anymore, they grant you access to their peaceful little empire like a reluctant queen handing you a visitor's badge," he says. "You text her good morning and she's already annoyed, like 'Why are you disturbing the sacred silence of my personal growth journey?'"

He goes on, "Bro she's been sleeping diagonally in her bed for three years, she's not giving up that territory because you opened the door and paid for coffee."

"You plan a cute date, she's thinking 'That sounds nice but also I could stay home, deep clean my apartment, do a 12 steps skincare routine, order sushi and not have to listen to a man breathe.'"

"You try to check in emotionally, 'How are you feeling?' She's feeling fantastic because you're not here."

"You're not competing with other guys. There are no other guys. You're competing with her weighted blanket, her peace, her cat named Chairman Meow, and the simple joy of not having to share her fries."

These are just a few of the best lines from the nearly 2-minute rant, all delivered in the most amazing French accent you can imagine. Please, enjoy:


@gettothepointbro

DATING A GIRL WHO IS USED TO BE ALONE CAN BE VERY HARD .

The best thing about the video is the discussion in the comments. Women want to know how this man got access to this top-secret information. The rant is so eerily, frighteningly accurate that women are convinced this French guy is living in their heads. That, or someone's secretly leaking intel.

"dammit. somebody call a meeting of the council. he knows too much."

"I dont often offer this compliment to the male species but you explained it better than I ever could."

"Alright, who’s told him this info??? So exposed right now"

"The joy of sleeping diagonally across my bed cannot be fully explained."

"This is the most accurate profiling I’ve ever heard. You absolutely ailed it."

Clearly, we've tapped into a real phenomenon here.

@gettothepointbro

CAN YOU RELATE LADIES ? THAT’S WHY WE LOVE YOU ❤️

The truth is that many people—both men and women—are disillusioned with the sad state of the dating scene these days. App burnout is a real thing, and meeting new people in real life is a ton of work. So, it's no surprise that more and more people are just choosing to stay single and enjoy all the perks that come along with it. This is a stark change, especially for women.

According to FiveThirtyEight, "Women were also more likely than men to say that they weren’t dating because they have other priorities right now." Priorities like travel, career, friendship, and even just self-care—all things that wind up taking a backseat when people get involved in relationships. It wasn't too long ago that women of a certain age that were still single were called "spinsters," but that word has lost a significant amount of power. This new generation of women aren't embarrassed or ashamed to be single; they're loving it for exactly all the reasons this video describes.

This article originally appeared in April.

Joy

People share the 15 'subtle' signs that someone is incredibly smart

They're perfectly happy to admit when they don't know something."

via United States Library of Congress's Prints and Photographs division/Wikimedia Commons

Albert Einstein receiving his U.S. citizenship.

Have you ever been to a party and run into someone new, only to immediately think that they have above-average intelligence? They probably didn’t begin to explain the theory of relativity or delve into the differences between Keynesian and Austrian economics, but you knew that they were very intelligent. What was it that made you realize they were incredibly smart?

It was probably the attitude they had about learning new information and the care they took in ensuring that, while in conversation, their answers were thoughtful and they didn’t just talk to hear themselves talk. There was probably something very intentional about how they approached the conversation.

A Redditor recently asked the ProductivityCafe subforum, “What’s a subtle sign that someone is very intelligent?” and people shared the characteristics they believe highly intelligent individuals possess. Ultimately, the commenters believe that highly intelligent individuals are curious, exhibit great cognitive flexibility, and have no problem admitting when they don’t know something or if they are wrong.

smart people, library, books, two women, tablet, intelligenceA woman reviewing information on a tablet.via Canva/Photos


Here are 15 ‘subtle’ signs that someone is very intelligent

1. They admit when they don't know something

"They're perfectly happy to admit when they don't know something. They see it as an opportunity to learn more and not as socially embarrassing."

"To brag a lot and toot my own horn, I’m an engineer at NASA. There is little to no pride in knowing things from my peers. We all genuinely enjoy learning and are often happy to be proven wrong. And everyone in our group can explain complex things elegantly and simply. I hope I’m do both of those things, and strive to."

2. They make things easy to understand

"They can explain complicated things in a way that breaks it down and makes it easy to understand for those not 'in-the-know.'"

"This is probably the best answer. If you can explain physics, math, interpersonal tumult in a way that a younger person can understand, that’s true intelligence. Passing of knowledge without condescension is my goal at least."


smart people, intelligence, professors, math, math teacher, man with glasses.A math professor.via Canva/Photos

3. They know what they don't know

"I work with some legitimately brilliant doctors. They will ALWAYS defer to another specialist’s opinion on an area that isn’t their specialty, often saying they’ll refer to someone smarter than them. The more someone knows, the more they realise how much they don’t know."

4. They are open-minded

"And will change their opinion when presented with new information. Stupid people just double down."

"A wise person has more questions than they have answers."

5. They follow the data

"An intelligent person will not box themselves into a position they can't change, because an intelligent person will pivot the moment they realize they're wrong. A person of lesser intelligence will call that "flip-flopping" but it's really following the data."

6. They don't take sides until they know they are right

"This makes me think of something a math professor said to a class I was in, rough paraphrase from memory: 'You know, grids are a lot like arguments; Sides are for polygons, not arguments. Arguments have no shape, so the only useful reference is what position you're taking in relation to the argument. Same with grids!' That guy had so many strangely useful little nuggets like that he'd just lead off with to engage people and help them understand that math is just about numbers and number-rules. He'd argue if you know what to do at all times, math isn't hard... it's just complicated."


7. They're good listeners

"They’re a good listener, and remember what they heard from the speaker. Also, they’re discriminating in who they listen to."

"Discriminating who you listen to is hard when you’re younger, I feel like. I’m only 28, but picking whose opinion I value is so much easier now than it was five years ago."

8. They're funny

"Not every smart person can be witty, but a witty person is smart for sure."

"I think this point often gets lost. I've never met a really funny person who wasn't also very smart."

9. It's all in the eyes

"The eyes. There is a special glare when you are speaking or listening to an intelligent person that is just not there when intelligence is lacking."

"I feel like this is what I lack, and people can tell. Can’t show this when you have social anxiety and can’t focus!"

10. They change their minds

"Cognitive flexibility. They take nothing as irrefutable and can change their mind when presents with new facts. Clarity and easy comprehension of new information."

"This is the basis for Bayes' theorem, when presented with new plausible evidence, existence beliefs should be updated."

professor, crazy hair, white hair, lab coat, professorA professor writing on a black board.via Canva/Photos

11. They ask great questions

"They ask amazingly insightful questions."

12. They have elegant solutions

"I really see lots of answers depending on subjective perception and personal experiences with probably smart people... It's really about their world they live in not yours. There are rarely any common signs among any two smart people. But I'd say the two main hints are they can explain complicated stuff in far simpler terms and they can come up with good solutions to almost any problem they have adequate knowledge about. Being social depends a lot on your youth and how people treated you. Most "stupid" people are threatened by intelligence and bully those who are intelligent."

13. They can discuss controversial topics without getting riled up

"They know how to have a mature, adult conversation when it comes to personal differences with people (as opposed to the usual defensive, denying, and deflective bullshit where the person you're trying to communicate with doesn't hear a word you say)."
"Being able to see both sides of an argument or political issue without having their mind clouded by propaganda or bias. Also, changing their mind about such things when presented with different facts."

14. They don't blindly follow a party

"When they don't blindly align with one political party over the other and instead focus on actual issues."

"Yes. And this includes anarchists and libertarians. When will people quit feeling the need to put themselves in a box politically?"

15. They think before they speak

"They think before they speak, some of the most intelligent people I’ve known haven’t spoken on impulse, they’ve always thought their words through carefully."

Can you grow vegetables in a cardboard box?

In the era of supermarkets and wholesale clubs, growing your own food isn't a necessity for most Americans. But that doesn't mean it's not a good idea to try.

A household garden can be a great way to reduce your grocery bill and increase your intake of nutrient-dense foods. It can also be a good source of exercise and a hobby that gets you outside in the sunshine and fresh air more often. However, not everyone has a yard where they can grow a garden or much outdoor space at all where they live. You can plant things in containers, but that requires some upfront investment in planters.

container garden, growing plants in containers, growing vegetables, homegrown, producePotted plants and herbs can thrive in a container garden.Photo credit: Canva

Or does it? Gardener James Prigioni set out to see if an Amazon shipping box would hold up as a planter for potatoes. He took a basic single-walled Amazon box, lined it with dried leaves to help with moisture retention, added four to five inches of soil (his own homegrown soil he makes), added three dark red seed potatoes, covered them with more soil, added a fertilizer, then watered them.

He also planted a second, smaller Amazon box with two white seed potatoes, following the same steps.

Two weeks later, he had potato plants growing out of the soil. Ten days after that, the boxes were filled with lush plants.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Prigioni explained how to "hill" potato plants when they grow tall enough, which helps encourage more tuber growth and protect the growing potatoes from sunlight. Hilling also helps support the plants as they grow taller so they don't flop over. He also added some mulch to help keep the plants cooler as the summer grew hotter.

After hilling, Prigioni only needed to keep up with watering. Both varieties of potatoes flowered, which let him know the tubers were forming. The red potato leaves developed some pest issues, but not bad enough to need intervention, while the white potato plants were unaffected. "It goes to show how variety selection can make a big difference in the garden," he explained.

The visible plants have to start dying before you harvest potatoes, and Prigioni checked in with the boxes themselves when they got to that point.

vegetable garden, growing potatoes, grow potatoes in a cardboard box, Amazon box, farmingFreshly harvested potatoes are so satisfying.Photo credit: Canva

"I am pleasantly surprised with how well the boxes held up," he said, especially for being single-walled boxes. The smaller box was completely intact, while the larger box had begun to split in one corner but not enough to affect the plants' growth. "This thing was completely free to grow in, so you can't beat that," he pointed out.

Prigioni predicted that the red potatoes grown in the larger box would be more productive. As he cut open the box and pulled potatoes from the larger box, they just kept coming, ultimately yielding several dozen potatoes of various sizes. The smaller box did have a smaller yield, but still impressive just from two potatoes planted in an Amazon box.

People often think they don't have room to grow their own food, which is why Prigioni put these potato boxes on his patio. "A lot of people have an area like this," he said.

"I will never look at cardboard boxes the same," Prigioni added. "There are so many uses for them in the garden and it's just a great free resource we have around, especially if you're ordering stuff from Amazon all the time."

cardboard box, container garden, amazon box, growing vegetables, gardeningDo you see a box or do you see a planter?Photo credit: Canva

People loved watching Prigioni's experiment and shared their own joy—and success—in growing potatoes in a similar fashion:

"I have been growing potatoes in every box I can find for several years now. I have had excellent success. I honestly think potatoes prefer cardboard. And yes, most of my boxes were from Amazon."

"I live in an upstairs apartment with a little deck and I have a container garden with containers on every single stair leading to the deck. I grow potatoes in a laundry basket. It's amazing how much food I can get from this type of garden!! Grateful."

"I literally got up and grabbed the empty boxes by our front door, the potatoes that have started to sprout, and soil i had inside and started my planting at 1am. Lol. I will take them outside today and finish. Thank you James!"

"I grew potatoes and tomatoes on my tiny balcony in Germany (in buckets and cardboard boxes). Now I have a big garden here in America. I so love to grow my own food."

"I grew sweet potatoes in cardboard boxes. It’s so much fun."

Next time you're stuck with an Amazon box that you don't have a use for, consider whether you could use it as a planter for potatoes or some other edible harvest. Gardening doesn't have to be fancy to be effective.

You can find more of gardening experiments on The Gardening Channel with James Prigioni.

This article originally appeared in April.

Celebrity

Bill Nye the Science Guy explains why he blocked HHS Secretary RFK Jr. from texting him

Bill Nye is still very serious about science 30 years after his famous show.

Bill Nye the Science Guy explains why he blocked HHS Secretary RFK Jr.

Bill Nye has been a household name for decades, though many Millennials likely can't say his name without adding "the science guy" behind it. He played an integral part in the childhood of an entire generation with his television program teaching kids science in a fun, engaging way. The theme song will forever be emblazoned in the minds of those who grew up watching him.

When he made his way to social media with his familiar kindness and humor, people flocked to his pages for the nostalgia but stayed for the knowledge. If there was one thing Nye was going to do, it was stand with scientific evidence no matter what. Due to his love of science and being established as a trusted and pivotal voice in the worlds of science and tech, it wasn't surprising that the Secretary of Health and Human Services, Robert F. Kennedy, Jr. would have Nye's phone number. But what is surprising is that Nye blocked him.

Bill Nye; Bill Nye the Science Guy; RFK Jr. vaccines; anti-vaxx; MAHA; HHS Secretary; Bill Nye blocks RFK Jr. Bill Nye leaning against podium speaking at ASUPhoto by Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia

A lot of scientific research is funded through the Department of Health and Human Services (HHS). Americans also depend on the accuracy of information leaving the office of HHS, whether it be vaccine recommendations, baby formula safety, or protective measures to be taken with a new disease outbreak. The department of Health and Human Services handles nearly everything that has to do with the health of American citizens and everyone who visits the country.

In 2025, Robert F. Kennedy Jr., an environmental lawyer and descendant of the Kennedy political dynasty, was confirmed as the new Secretary of HHS. While his nomination raised concerns due to his anti-vaccine activism and involvement in the Trump administration's Make America Healthy Again (MAHA) movement, the son of RFK assured Americans he would follow the science. But it would seem that this isn't the case according to the science guy who blocked RFK Jr. from being able to contact him via phone or text.

RFK JR, HHS, health and human services, America, Bill NyeRFK Jr. Photo by Gage Skidmore/Flickr

In a recent interview with Men's Health, Nye explains that the current health secretary would text him on occasion—but at some point the texts got to be out of hand. The magazine describes Nye holding up his iPhone to show multiple walls of text messages from RFK saying, "This is real. That’s Bobby Kennedy Jr.” Turns out Kennedy had been sending him long text messages back to back making an argument for not vaccinating children due to its (repeatedly scientifically debunked) claimed links to autism.

"Just no self-awareness. And if you read these articles he sent, they’re all this speculation about autism and just cause-and-effect, and mercury in vaccines, that maybe there’s a connection. I wrote him back and said, ‘Okay, I’ll read your book. I think you’ve confused causation with correlation. Your friend, Bill.’ And he sent this,” Nye told Men's Health before showing the interviewer more extremely long text messages. “So I wrote, ‘Okay, no more texts.’ And he started again! So I cut him off. He does not have good judgment. He is not suited for this job.”

Nye didn't stop with venting his frustrations around the excessive paragraphs of texts. The mechanical engineer, actor, and author frustratingly pointed out the recent measles outbreak in Texas, which has been attributed to a lack of vaccines that led to insufficient heard immunity.

"There’s an outbreak of measles in Texas. Did you hear about this? It was a religious sect that has historically low vaccination rates, "he says in part before later adding, "Unvaccinated people can, and usually do, spread a disease. And that’s why we have these rules, for public health! It’s not arbitrary."

Billy Nye, Bill Nye the science guy, speech, science, scientistBill Nye speaking. Photo by Gage Skidmore/Flickr

The topic of vaccines, which RFK Jr. not only hit on, but droned on about incessantly via text message, seems to be a sticking point for Nye. He is clearly fired up while speaking to Men's Health about the issue, and it may be due to his own experiences as a child.

"The other thing that’s so remarkable about what’s going on now—I went to elementary school with a guy who had polio. You do not want polio! And the reason you don’t get polio is because of a vaccine that was discovered that keeps you from getting polio! What is wrong with you, man?" Nye said.

He explains the minute risk of contracting the disease from the vaccine, but stresses how rare it is before explaining how things worked before vaccines existed when he was a child. But this isn't the first time The Science Guy has shared his views on vaccines. He's done multiple interviews with outlets like Now This where he explains how vaccines work and was even part of a 2021 campaign to help kids understand how COVID vaccines protected them.

Nye doesn't just have a bone to pick with people who are against vaccinations, he is against anti-science and uses his platforms to educate the public. He's testified before congress and debunked conspiracy theories on Big Think. Nye has also ventured back into the entertainment industry with Bill Nye Saves the World, which ran from 2017-2018 and The End is Nye which aired on Peacock in 2022. Nye is a trusted voice for millions of Americans and, while blocking RFK Jr. might appear harsh to some, to others he's simply staying true to science.

Showing your partner that you care isn't always a walk in the park.

Congratulations, you found your dream partner! They're caring, attractive, and preternaturally good with your parents. The only problem? Finding the time—and mental energy—to show them how much you care. Living with a busy schedule is always challenging, but keeping the romance alive while also juggling work, family obligations, and personal commitments? That can feel nearly impossible. Many couples find themselves falling into predictable routines that leave little room for genuine connection: they come home exhausted, eat a quick dinner, watch television, then collapse into bed, only to repeat the cycle the next day.

Intentional relationships are the game-changer. Rather than letting precious free time slip away on autopilot, happy couples have proven that specific activities strengthen their bond while creating lasting memories together. These aren't grand romantic gestures or expensive date nights—they're consistent, meaningful ways of engaging with each other that anyone can adopt.

couple, happy, embrace, habits, partnerIntentional relationships are a game-changer. Photo credit: Canva

Relationship experts agree: successful partnerships are built on activities that promote connection, playfulness, and mutual growth. The key lies in how couples approach their shared time—with intention, kindness, and a genuine spirit of partnership.

(1) They put their phones away

As Mark Travers, a psychologist who studies couples, finds, “a couple who spends a lot of time together, but is constantly distracted by texts, emails or social media, probably isn’t as happy as a couple who spends less time together, but without their phones.” He recommends carving out one-on-one time without any technological interference: cooking dinner together, with phones out of sight; going on a tech-free hike; or a simple morning spent together where the only objects in your hands are a coffee mug and breakfast.

(2) They engage in playful or creative activities together

Playfulness and a stimulated mind are key traits in happy relationships. Instead of turning on the TV at night, happy couples often play board games or card games together, challenge each other in video games, or participate in friendly competitions like trivia nights to keep things light and fun. For more cerebral couples, finding time to engage in creative activities such as painting or even decorating the apartment can strengthen the connection.

(3) They spend time outdoors and stay active

Happy couples love to get the blood pumping! Many successful relationships find themselves outdoors: hiking, biking, gardening, or taking a simple morning walk around the neighborhood. These activities not only promote physical health, but also offer valuable opportunities for relaxed conversation and shared adventure.

(4) They practice small acts of kindness

Small, everyday gestures can make a world of difference—making each other coffee in the morning, leaving notes, giving a meaningful hug, or surprising your partner with a thoughtful gift at the end of a long week. These tiny actions accumulate and significantly impact relationship satisfaction. Even seemingly commonplace rituals, like a goodbye kiss before heading to work, can substantially increase happiness between couples.

(5) They schedule time for physical and emotional intimacy

When life comes at you fast, it can be easy to forgo important connections, like cuddling, massages, and sex, in a relationship. Many studies show that couples who have a satisfying sex life are more likely to be happy in their relationships, which makes structured intimacy a “good thing,” according to Travers. “Many people think it can diminish spontaneity, but if anything, it actually removes the mental fatigue of trying to make intimacy happen,” he writes.

(6) They allow for individual recharge time

Yes, togetherness is essential. But happy couples also recognize each other's need for solo activities, which ensures that both partners feel refreshed and fulfilled. Hanging out with friends without your partner is healthy. Going to the grocery store alone can be surprisingly beneficial. Even morning journaling to collect your thoughts and reconnect with yourself can be a meaningful practice.

(7) They hang out and socialize together

Mutual social interactions reinforce a couple's bond and add spice and variety to their routine. Try planning time with mutual friends or hosting a game night together to unlock your relationship's potential.

(8) They dream about the future together

Happy couples feel safe with one another, and that includes discussing their futures together. If you're feeling stagnant or locked into a routine, try making vision boards together or dreaming about future adventures to stay aligned and inspired by your shared journey.

Relationships evolve over time. The people we are when we first meet are not the same people we find ourselves with day in and day out. For some, this familiarity can feel overwhelming—but couples who thrive recognize that their relationship deserves the same attention and care they give to other important aspects of life. Through these small, daily actions, any couple can build a strong foundation capable of weathering any storm.