'The Trump Kids Go to Work with Dad: A White House Storybook.'
Meet the Trump kids: Ivanka, Eric, and Donald Jr. ...
...their friend Jared...
...and their dad Donald.
Donald has a very important job.
He's the president of the United States of America.
April 27, 2017, is Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day.
The Trump kids and Jared are going to work with Donald.
Most kids would be excited.
But not the Trumps. The Trumps are luckier than most kids.
They get to go to work with their dad every day!
Donald doesn't really seem to like to do work.
He likes to watch TV and yell at strangers on the internet.
So the Trump kids have a lot of responsibility...
...even though Eric is only 33, Ivanka is only 35, Jared is only 36, and Donald Jr. is only 39.
Jared and Ivanka do a lot of important jobs for Donald — jobs that most people don't get to do without years and years of experience.
But they can do them — no sweat!
Ivanka meets with foreign leaders.
And gives speeches.
And goes to important meetings with important people.
Jared is in charge of fixing the whole government.
And making peace in the Middle East.
He has to dress up like a big boy, but that's OK. Jared doesn't mind.
Then there's Donald Jr. and Eric. They run their dad’s old company, so they’re not supposed to come to his new job with him. That would be a conflict of interest.
But sometimes they do anyway. Oops!
They even let their dad give them business advice.
Even though they're not supposed to. Talking to the president would give their company an unfair advantage over other companies.
Leaders of other countries know how much Donald loves his kids, so they like to do nice things for them.
They think if they help the Trump kids out, Donald might do nice things for their countries in return.
They listen when Ivanka asks them to give money to her new foundation.
And they let her build hotels in their countries.
Some countries help Jared build tall buildings too.
Donald was going to get tough on China.
But then a Chinese company invested in one of the buildings Jared builds.
Lately, Donald hasn't been so tough on China at all.
It might seem strange how much the Trumps love Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day.
But by going to work with their dad, Ivanka, Jared, Donald Jr., and Eric are learning all about what it’s like to be a grown-up.
They're getting hands-on experience at a real-life job.
And, best of all, they’re all making their own money!
Maybe lots and lots of it. Maybe not.
Maybe even money from some of the countries that do nice things for them. Maybe not.
We don't know because Donald hasn't released his tax returns.
What a good deal for the Trumps!
Donald smiles. He's just happy his kids are happy.
And he's happy he can keep on watching TV and yelling at people on the internet.
"I'm so glad every day is Take Our Daughters and Sons to Work Day in our family," he probably thinks to himself.
And so it was.
(To be continued.)
(For four freaking years.)
(Unless you call your representatives and demand they, you know, do their jobs and start asking questions about all this. Like yesterday.)