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The 'Fifty Shades of Grey' author had a Twitter chat. It went off the rails BIG TIME.

#AskELJames is the hashtag. They might have seen this coming.

Here's the thing: No matter how you feel about BDSM (bondage, domination, sadism, masochism), most domestic abuse survivors and fetishists agree that what author E.L. James put out into the world with "Fifty Shades of Grey" is not an accurate description of it. Ever since the books have become popular, both camps have been outspoken about the fact that it more closely resembles domestic abuse than fair role-playing.

Here's how people made that point using today's prime Twitter-tunity.

There were concerned friends asking for other friends:

There were people who took their time to craft just the right thing:

There were people seeking guidance after her "model" didn't work so well for them:

There were people searching for a sign of deeper meaning:

There were earnest, straightforward types with damn good questions:

There was pop culture cross-pollination:

There were call-outs about the times fiction turned into horrific reality:

There were the folks feeling empathy for E.L. James' PR people:

Finally, there was the question that drove home the point of the backlash and the brilliant irony of it all:

All of this points to readers who, like Christian Grey, have very singular tastes — you know, for responsible literature that doesn't romanticize abuse when it gets kinky. Let's hope the publishers and authors are listening.

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All In: 5 Ways This Week

From the silly to the sentimental, there are so many ways people like to go “all in” on something. Here are our five favorite examples we found this week across the internet.

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When you hear the words “all in,” what do you think? You might picture an elaborately-themed birthday party for a dog, or maybe a person giving a detailed presentation on why she's "Team Conrad." (IYKYK) Or maybe you picture a woman who takes up running, showing up every day to push herself and completely changing her body and her mindset in the process. Whatever you picture, the idea is the same: Someone who does something with 100 percent total commitment. Going “all in” means giving your all—going completely over the top, no second guessing, no holding back. Just full-throttle enthusiasm, with some flair and creativity thrown in. And when people go “all in,” something truly special usually happens as a result.


The internet abounds with examples of people giving it their all—whatever it is. In this roundup, we’ve found the very best examples of people going “all in”—moments where passion, creativity, and commitment take center stage. Some are sentimental, some are silly, but all of them are a reminder that giving 100 percent is truly the only way to leave a mark on this world. Get ready: These folks didn’t just show up, they went all in.

1. This unbelievable high note 

@sarahhardwigofficial Alone by #heart at #crosseyedcritters on @Joe Noto ‘s last night! Thanks for everything #karaoke #80smusic #fyp ♬ original sound - sarahhardwigofficial

Most of us music enthusiasts can agree that the song “Alone” by the American rock band Heart is one of the most passionate (and technically challenging) songs you can ever sing. It’s so challenging, in fact, that only singers with really incredible range—Celine Dion, for example, or vocal powerhouse Kelly Clarkson— dare to take it on. (If you don’t know the song by name, listen to any one of these clips and you’ll recognize it after a second or two.) So imagine our surprise, scrolling through TikTok, when we see a young singer covering “Alone” and dropping the high note so casually it looks like she sang this song out of pure spite. You almost can’t believe what you’re hearing—but it’s real. And the comments section is full of people who are completely gobsmacked (including a producer from American Idol). We just know we’re going to see this girl on stage again soon.

The ultimate healthy food collab

You already know our friends at All In—they’ve got some seriously tasty snacks that are not only healthy and affordable (scroll to the bottom of this article to see how you can snag a free box), they help fund food banks, gardens, community fridges, meal programs, and other amazing things. Lately, they’ve managed to take their awesomeness up a notch by teaming up with Fresh Truck, a weekly mobile market that brings fresh and affordable produce to neighborhoods in the Boston area. Fresh truck hosts weekly markets, pop-up events, and an online storefront, all to help strengthen communities who need it the most. They’re going all in on local nutrition and food access, and we’re here for it.

This fairy-themed proposal 

@kaylasuttons My sister's suprise fairy themed proposal was a huge success! Glad I could help organize it 💜🧚🏾‍♀️ @Halfcourt @Sway with Samone #fairycore #proposal #engaged #2027bride #BlackTikTok ♬ Ordinary (Wedding Version) - Alex Warren

Marriage is kind of the ultimate example of going “all in.” Think about it—you’re committing the rest of your life to someone til death do you part. That’s why when someone plans a super outrageous proposal, like the one you’re about to watch, that just makes everything all the more special. In this video, creator Kayla Sutton recorded her sister’s surprise wedding proposal, a fairy-themed event that the groom had been planning (according to a separate storytime video) since March of this year. He enlisted family and friends, decorated the venue, supplied food, and had the guests wear fairy-themed costumes, complete with elven ears, for the big moment. Now that’s dedication. Kudos to this dude—he went all out with the proposal in order to go “all in” on their relationship. (And she said “yes,” by the way!)

This "deeply personal" wedding tribute

Okay, not to make this entire article all about weddings, but this is a truly meaningful example of someone going “all in.” Content creator Kristin Marino (now Kristin Schnacky) got married in New York City last week and got, in her words, a surprise that made her bawl her eyes out: Several current and former members of the New York City Fire Department (FDNY) who showed up to honor her late father, a former firefighter who was killed in the line of duty during the September 11th terrorist attacks. The firefighters from Station One (the same firehouse where Marino’s father worked) transported Marino in a firetruck from the Plaza Hotel where she was staying to her wedding venue, where her soon-to-be-husband was waiting at the altar. “It truly was symbolism of my dad walking me down the aisle,” Marino shared. “I know it’s exactly how [my dad] would [have] wanted it.” We’re not crying, you’re crying.

Cat Town 

We can’t tell you why this thing exists, only that it does, and that it’s so elaborate, so detailed, and so expertly created we’re having a hard time even wrapping our heads around it. Here goes: Xing is a Chinese content creator who has spent the past several years creating (and documenting the creation of) an elaborate habitat for his pet cats, called Cat Town. We’re not talking about a room filled with toys and scratching posts, by the way: Xing has actually made a complete functioning replica of a human city, scaled down to accommodate cats. Cat Town has a working subway station, a supermarket, a theatre, and a restaurant (named MeowDonalds). Just…wow. And nicely done. Talk about a passion project.

Snag your free (!!) snack bars here while this deal lasts. Simply sign up with your phone number, pick two boxes of any flavor of All In bars at Sprouts, and then text a picture of your receipt through Aisle. They’ll Venmo or PayPal you back for the cost of one box. Enjoy!

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Harvard linguist explains perfectly logical reason Boomers insist on using ellipses in texts

Once you understand this, texting with your mom will get a lot easier.

Photo credit: Canva

Linguist explains simple reason Boomers use ellipses in texts all the time

One generation's texting habit that baffles every generation is the Boomers' seemingly excessive use of ellipses. Do you have more to say, Aunt Judy, or did you just accidentally press the period key too many times? Maybe it's for a dramatic pause or to put emphasis on a point? This is truly a mystery that leaves every generation below them confused about what is meant by the dreaded "dot dot dot."

Texting etiquette differs with every generation. Gen X and most Millennials use fairly proper grammar and punctuation throughout a text message exchange. Every new sentence starts with a capital letter, there are strategically placed Oxford commas to ensure there's little room for misunderstandings, and sentences end with an appropriate punctuation mark.

linguist; boomers; gen x; millennials; gen z; text etiquette; boomer texting; gen z slang Joyful moments captured: A cheerful day out!Photo credit: Canva

When it comes to Gen Z, they find that ending text messages with proper punctuation indicates that the person they're texting is being passive-aggressive. They also text in shorthand and emojis that can feel a bit like you need a special decoder ring to decipher the messages. But texting in an encrypted way can be chalked up to youth, though the same can't be said when it comes to Boomers. Or can it?

Harvard linguist and author of the book Algospeak, Adam Aleksic, breaks down why so many Boomers use ellipses when texting. It's surprisingly not as complicated or dramatic as one may imagine. In a viral video posted last year on TikTok, Aleksic explains his theory for the texting etiquette of Boomers.

linguist; boomers; gen x; millennials; gen z; text etiquette; boomer texting; gen z slang Two generations connecting through their smartphones.Photo credit: Canva

"You know how older people tend to use the 'Boomer ellipses' whenever they're texting? There's always a random 'dot dot dot' in the middle of their messages?" Aleksic asks. "Well, that's because they grew up following different rules for informal communication. Nowadays, if you want to separate an idea, you just press enter and start a new line with a new thought, but it made less sense to do that for writing postcards or letters, where you had to save space, so people back in the day learned to separate thoughts by using ellipses."

Aleksic explains that this is also true for when phones first started allowing text messaging. You were charged by the message, so ellipses made it more efficient to convey all the thoughts in one message instead of multiple ones. SMS texting also had a character limit, unlike current phones, where you can essentially write a novella in a single message without your phone automatically breaking it up.

@etymologynerd this is so interesting... i prefer line breaks though #linguistics #language #communication #technology #texting ♬ original sound - etymologynerd

Today's texting standards typically mean people separate their thoughts by sending multiple messages for separate thoughts, though that annoys some people. If separating thoughts means you'll be sending no less than five texts in quick succession, it's likely best to just space down to make the text longer, rather than bombarding an unsuspecting friend.

When it comes down to it, younger generations have adapted to the new standard, embracing the unlimited text option, while Boomers haven't. Due to this discrepancy in text etiquette, the ellipses used by Boomers throw people for a loop.

linguist; boomers; gen x; millennials; gen z; text etiquette; boomer texting; gen z slang Elderly man working.Photo credit: Canva

"That means the Boomer ellipses became redundant, which is why they cause confusion today. They violate what we call 'the maximum quantity;' they add more information than necessary, so they appear to imply something more than the intended meaning. Most of the time, that comes off to younger people as hesitation, annoyance, or passive aggressiveness because that's how we use the ellipses," the linguist shares.

So, no, your grandma isn't mad at you or avoiding telling you something; according to Aleksic, she's just trying to send you multiple messages in one. There's no hidden emotion behind the ellipses for Boomers; it's simply a habit left over from their younger years.

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Roommate comes up with genius $5 solution to stop snack thief in his tracks

His roommate then hilariously accused him of creating an "emotionally hostile refrigerator."

Photo credit: Canva

Roommate creates 'emotionally hostile refrigerator' to stop snack thief

Almost everyone's got a bad roommate story, but this one takes the cake (or, rather, doesn't take the cake — not without asking first!)

Some things are just universally frustrating. At the top of that list is likely looking forward to eating something delicious you stored in the refrigerator, only to find it missing. Whether this happens in a communal fridge at work, a dorm room, or at home with your family, the experience is equally frustrating and disappointing.

One person has been dealing with this very scenario: he noticed his snacks and other food disappearing from the shared refrigerator. No, a mouse hadn't figured out how to raid the refrigerator—but it would've been a more understandable culprit. Turns out the man's roommate had been helping himself to food items he did not purchase. We aren't talking about community items like milk or coffee creamer. The missing food includes items like leftovers and personal snacks.

roommate issues; roommate steals food; snack thief; taking food; roommate trouble; emotionally hostile refigerator Craving dilemma: donuts vs. healthy snacks.Photo credit: Canva

The man initially shared his frustrating situation on the Reddit thread, r/AITA, after his roommate took offense to his solution.

What was the solution? Well, feeling like he was out of options after directly speaking to the roommate and labeling food that belonged to him, the man devised a plan. To get the inconsiderate roommate to stop eating everything in the fridge, the man turned to Googly eyes. He put Googly eyes on everything in the refrigerator that belonged to him in hopes it would deter the sneaky snacker. His plan worked, but the snacking roommate's comments about his solution had the man wondering if he crossed a line.

"My roommate eats everything. I’ll buy a pack of cheese sticks, and they’re gone by morning. I asked nicely, then labeled stuff. No change. So I got creative: I bought a pack of stick-on googly eyes and put them on everything. Milk? Eyes. Leftover spaghetti? Judging you. Even taped one to a banana. It worked. He said it 'creeped him out' and he stopped eating my stuff," he shared in the forum.

roommate issues; roommate steals food; snack thief; taking food; roommate trouble; emotionally hostile refigerator Man puzzled by a googly-eyed potato in the fridge.Photo credit: Canva

He went on to say that his roommate described his googly-eye trick as passive-aggressive, likening him to "creating an emotionally hostile refrigerator."

Who knew kitchen appliances could be so openly ruthless to late-night snack bandits? Overwhelmingly, people agreed that the master of the googly eyes is not the bad guy in this situation.

"That phrase is pure gold. Roommate sounds like he's got some serious food guilt if googly eyes make him feel judged," someone says.

"It's not 'passive-aggressive' if you discussed the problem in person and asked him to stop, and he ignored you. You just got creative in how to address it. I can't think why it worked, but since it did, more power to you. Tell him if he agrees not ever to eat your labeled food, and doesn't, you'll restore the refrigerator to its pre-surveillance condition, unless and until he starts stealing food again." Another person writes.

roommate issues; roommate steals food; snack thief; taking food; roommate trouble; emotionally hostile refigerator Judgmental banknote: "Put the leftovers back, Bill!"Photo credit: Canva

'Did he use the phrase "emotionally hostile refrigerator"? Really? Because it makes him too uncomfortable to steal your food? I'd have laughed his sorry butt right out the door," someone else quipped.

One person suggests upping the ante, commenting, "Put the eyes everywhere. Under the toilet seat. On the front door. On the stairs."

"Act surprised when they are pointed out to you," someone else adds, writing, "'I only did the ones in the fridge, I don’t know where those are coming from.' Or pretend you don’t even see them."

roommate issues; roommate steals food; snack thief; taking food; roommate trouble; emotionally hostile refigerator feel fridge GIF Giphy

People could not get over the phrase "emotionally hostile refrigerator" and encouraged more shenanigans to make the fridge live up to its new name. Someone suggested making angry eyebrows above the eyes, while others offered turning them into smiley faces with conversation bubbles. Other people thought making a sign for the refrigerator door that warned that it was emotionally hostile would be fitting. Since the googly eyes seem to be doing the trick, it doesn't seem like they'll be going away any time soon.

This serves as a reminder that it's always best practice to ask before eating something that isn't yours, even if it's inside a shared refrigerator. If not, you may find yourself feeling like somebody's watching you.

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Pets

Foster puppies take field trips to an assisted living home for snuggles. It's an adorable win-win.

"The laughs, chats, and love the seniors receive during these visits is so good for their souls."

Images courtesy of carter.cifelli/Instagram (with permission)

Assisted living residents get special visit from foster puppies.

The transition into an assisted living home can be hard and lonely. Adjusting to new routines and environments in nursing homes can be scary and unfamiliar to residents.

So, what could be better to bring some joy and comfort to nursing homes than snuggling foster puppies? It's a sweet operation that Carter Cifelli, a puppy foster care provider and advocate in Raleigh, North Carolina, and So Fetch K9, a puppy socialization business in Chapel Hill, North Carolina, are on a mission to provide.

"I’ve been doing this for over 3 years with my foster puppies and have taken almost every litter of puppies I’ve fostered there since I started," Cifelli tells Upworthy. "I love these visits! I go to the same assisted living facility every time so I see the same familiar faces and they know me."

Cifelli and So Fetch K9 bring smiles to nursing home residents—many who struggle with memory loss. "It’s so special to see them waiting with excitement to get to snuggle a rescue pup! And beyond magical to see the sweet puppies relax into their laps and arms," Cifelli adds.

In the videos, residents at the assisted living facility can be seen holding pups in their laps and giving them lots of cuddles and yummy treats. Many pups are so relaxed and happy, they can be seen falling fast asleep.

"The pups I foster have been saved from rural shelters across North Carolina, to go from being discarded and unwanted to bringing so much joy to the seniors is inspiring! Every single person involved gets so much happiness out of it," Cifelli says.

In another post, So Fetch K9 explained that the visits benefits the puppies in a number of ways. "The 7-10 week age frame is the best window to do this type of socialization," they explained. "At this age, their little brains are eager to take in information. When it’s filled with safety, fun, and love, the pups go about the rest of their lives feeling excited about new experiences, not scared of them."

They also added that, "The socialization puppies receive in the critical socialization period is crucial to the ease of their success later in life. While the residents love nothing more than our puppy visits, they are helping the pups more than they know. 💕"

The visits help assisted living residents as well. According to Johns Hopkins Medicine, simply petting dogs has been proven reduce stress and also increases levels oxytocin, the "feel-good" bonding hormone.

The precious videos of residents with puppies pulled on the heartstrings of viewers. "This is the absolute perfect place to bring these puppies !!! This is so good for these residents !!! I’m sure this absolutely made their day❤️❤️❤️❤️," one wrote. Another commented, "This is AWESOME! Makes my heart smile!🥰" Another viewer added, "The best therapy ever!! For the pups and these beautiful folks. ❤️"

The foster puppies that have visited assisted living homes throughout the years are available for adoption through Hope Animal Rescue and Saving Grace Animal Adoption.

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Public Health

How often should you shower? Doctors weigh in and rock some people's worlds.

Once a day is not ideal.

Photo by Karolina Grabowska/Pexels

Doctors say a lot of us are showering more than we need to.

A few times in recent years, celebrities and social media influencers alike have made waves by sharing that they don't make their kids bathe every day. For some parents, that was totally par for the course, but for others, letting a child go more than a day without bathing was seen as a travesty.

Doctors have made it clear that kids don't need to bathe daily, with some going so far as to recommend against it when they are young to protect kids' delicate skin. But what about grownups? Most of us don't take baths regularly as adults, but what's the ideal frequency for showering?

According to a YouGov poll of over 5,700 Americans, just over half of respondents said they shower daily and 11% said they shower twice or more per day. That means two out of three of us are showering at least once a day.

woman, showering, shower, daily shower, bathe A woman in a shower cap.Canva Photos

But according to doctors and dermatologists, that's probably overkill for most people. Unless you're doing heavy labor, exercising vigorously, working outdoors or around toxins or otherwise getting excessively dirty or sweaty, a few showers per week is enough for healthy hygiene.

In fact, Robert H. Shmerling, MD of Harvard Health says too frequent showering could actually have some negative effects on your health.

"Normal, healthy skin maintains a layer of oil and a balance of 'good' bacteria and other microorganisms," Dr. Shmerling writes. "Washing and scrubbing removes these, especially if the water is hot." He shares that removing that protective layer can make our skin dry, irritated or itchy, which can lead to damage that allows allergens and bacteria to cross the skin barrier. Additionally, our immune systems require exposure to microorganisms, dirt, and other environmental stimuli in order to create "immune memory," and if we wash them away too frequently, we might be inhibiting the effectiveness of our immune system.

dirt, immune system, environment, kids, baths, dirt don't hurt A healthy coat of dirt.Giphy

Dermatologists who spoke to Vogue had similar advice about shower frequency. Board-certified dermatologist Deanne Robinson, MD, FAAD told the magazine that you can skip showering for the day if you haven't engaged in rigorous activity. Mamina Turegano, a triple board-certified dermatologist, internist and dermatopathologist. agreed. "I think that showering three to four times a week is plenty for most people,” she said.

Of course, everyone is different and what is good for one person's skin isn't good for another's. Showering frequency and health also depend on what kinds of products you're using, what temperature of water you're using, and how long your shower is. There's a big difference between a quick pits-and-privates rinse-off and a long, hot everything shower.

While scorching yourself and steaming up the bathroom may feel luxurious and relaxing, especially if you've got sore muscles, dermatologists say it's not good for your skin. Hot showers are especially problematic for people with skin issues like eczema.

"Any skin condition characterized by a defective skin barrier can be worsened by a hot shower," board-certified New York City dermatologist Shari Marchbein told Allure. "[It] strips the skin of sebum, the healthy fats and oils necessary for skin health, and dehydrates the skin."

shower, shower temperature, hot shower, lukewarm shower, showering Maybe cool it on the hot showers. Canva Photos.

In fact most dermatologists recommend keeping showers lukewarm. That sounds like torture, frankly, but who's going to argue with the experts?

A lot of people, actually. Modern humans are pretty particular about our shower preferences, and judging from the comments on cleanliness discussions, some folks are dead set on the idea that a daily shower is simply not negotiable. Even with the experts weighing in with their knowledge and science, a lot of people will continue to do what they do, advice be damned.

But at least the folks who've been judged harshly by the daily shower police have some official backup. As long as you're showering every couple of days, you're golden. As it turns out, there really is such a thing as being too clean.

This article originally appeared last year. It has been updated.

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He made a tiny house for his stray cat visitor, and it turned into an adorable kitty village

Talk about heartwarming kindness.

Representative Photo credit: Canva and Rumeysa Yilmaz|Pexels

A sweet story of the cat distribution system at work.

Tiny houses are still a popular choice for people trying to downsize but tiny houses for cats are springing up in one man's backyard.

Back in 2024, Barna thought he was doing a good deed for a stray cat that decided that he kinda liked hanging out in this human's backyard. At first, the cat would show up but wouldn't eat the food set out for him. That didn't stop Barna.

The man continued to set food out for the cat. Taking note of the changing weather, Barna decided to take one of his hobbies and build the cat, now named Domino a cozy little house. Building things is a hobby for him, so he made sure to equip Domino's tiny abode with a heating pad, light and camera.

Before too long the situation turned into a version of the famous children's book, If You Give a Mouse a Cookie. Another cat showed up (because of course Domino had a bestie) but it didn't stop there.

Barna built a tiny two story condo for the two cats to hang out in while still keeping Domino's original tiny house. The backyard looks like it was made to host furry tenants in a makeshift cat community because more cats indeed showed up. Soon the tuxedo cat had several neighbors to hang out with and thanks to Barna, none of the cats looked like they were missing any meals.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"We have about four or five cats who will go in and sleep in the houses," Barna told The Dodo. "One night one of the biggest storms of the year hit, I saw that two kittens actually took shelter in the house. That was one of the sweetest things ever."

Barna had cameras set up inside and outside of the itty bitty kitty community so he can keep an eye on his feline neighbors. The cats' landlord expressed that he feels gratification seeing his little houses be used by furry tenants. Having a group of cats around probably isn't too terrible for keeping pests away either, so it's a win for all involved.

Down in the comments, people applauded Barna for taking such good care of his feline friends.

"If you build it, they will come. what a kind and thoughtful gentleman to take care of these babies during the hard weather."

"This man has such a good heart."

"How a man treats animals reveals who the man is. This is a good man."

"Just imagine how good the inside of those little houses feel to a kitty after he or she has been outdoors in all kinds of weather for who knows how long. They would finally be able to relax and get a good sleep. Kudos for being so kind and handy."

"There is most definitely a special place in heaven for the animal rescuers. I love you."

"This world NEEDS more people like this gentleman.""Indeed, the world could definitely use a few more Barnas. Best of luck to him and his kitty companions.

This article originally appeared last year.

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