The Biggest Cover-Up For Domestic Violence Revealed
Watch this video; then check out the Refuge campaign. It's powerful stuff.
Do good. Win big for the charity of your choice.
In a flurry of heavy headlines that constantly inundate our feeds, acts of good connect us back to our faith in humanity. Witnessing just one person go out of their way to make the world a better place is a powerful healing salve against apathy. It reminds us all of what we are collectively capable of creating. This is the philosophy that Upworthy wholeheartedly believes in, hence why we’re always sharing uplifting stories of people giving kindness, generosity and support to their fellow humans.
That’s also why we’re partnering with P&G, the maker of some of our favorite household products like Tide, Always and Pampers, to bring you the 2023 Acts of Good Awards, and celebrate the individuals who are giving back and strengthening their communities.
Think of it like the Oscars of kindness. Half as formal but twice as feel-good.
Besides providing the world with brands we know and trust, P&G is a company doing good acts, whether it’s supporting hygiene education, helping struggling communities gain access to basic necessities or delivering essentials for families impacted by disasters.
Here are just a few of the ways P&G's Acts of Good make meaningful impact:
Between May 12 - June 4, 2023, in partnership with P&G, Upworthy will be accepting nominations that shine a light on individuals who go above and beyond to help others in their community through their own #ActsOfGood. Be it the superstar volunteer or the person who rallies the neighborhood to support the local food bank. Odds are you probably know someone who is a perfect candidate. You might even be one yourself!
Based off a simple criteria—elevated effort, unique impact and how those actions reflect Upworthy and P&G’s commitment to strengthen communities and inspire positivity and inclusion—three winners will be selected to receive a $1,000 donation to the non-profit organization of their choice.
Plus their good work will be celebrated on Upworthy’s social media. We know that #ActsOfGood are their own reward, but it’s even better when that kindness gets amplified.
Care to submit yourself or someone you know? Visit upworthy.com/actsofgood and fill out the form for a chance to win and do even more good.
Psychologist Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling and it makes perfect sense.
We're about to wrap up year three of the COVID-19 pandemic, and it's been a weird ride, to say the least. These years have been hard, frustrating, confusing and tragic, and yet we keep on keeping on.
Except the keeping on part isn't quite as simple as it sounds. Despite the fact that COVID-19 is still wreaking havoc, we've sort of collectively decided to move on, come what may. This year has been an experiment in normalcy, but one without a testable hypothesis or clear design. And it's taken a toll. So many people are feeling tired, exhausted, worn thin ("like butter scraped over too much bread," as Bilbo Baggins put it) these days.
Psychologist and speaker Naomi Holdt beautifully explained what's behind the overarching exhaustion people are feeling as we close out 2022, and it makes perfect sense.
In a post on Facebook, she wrote:
"A gentle reminder about why you are utterly exhausted…
No one I know began this year on a full tank. Given the vicious onslaught of the previous two years (let’s just call it what it was) most of us dragged ourselves across the finish line of 2021… frazzled, spent, running on aged adrenaline fumes…
We crawled into 2022 still carrying shock, trauma, grief, heaviness, disbelief… The memories of a surreal existence…
And then it began… The fastest hurricane year we could ever have imagined. Whether we have consciously processed it or not, this has been a year of more pressure, more stress, and a race to 'catch up' in all departments… Every. Single. One. Work, school, sports, relationships, life…
Though not intentionally aware, perhaps hopeful that the busier we are, the more readily we will forget… the more easily we will undo the emotional tangle… the more permanently we will wipe away the scarring wounds…
And attempts to re-create some semblance of 'normal' on steroids while disregarding that for almost two years our sympathetic nervous systems were on full alert, has left our collective mental health in tatters. Our children and teens are not exempt. The natural byproduct of fighting a hurricane is complete and utter exhaustion…
So before you begin questioning the absolutely depleted and wrung-dry state you are in- Pause. Breathe. Remind yourself of who you are and what you have endured. And then remind yourself of what you have overcome.
Despite it all, you’re still going. (Even on the days you stumble and find yourself face down in a pile of dirt).
Understanding brings compassion… Most of the world’s citizens are in need of a little extra TLC at the moment. Most are donning invisible 'Handle with care' posters around their necks and 'Fragile' tattoos on their bodies…
Instead of racing to the finish line of this year, tread gently.
Go slowly. Amidst the chaos, find small pockets of silence. Find compassion. Allow the healing. And most of all… Be kind. There’s no human being on earth who couldn’t use just a little bit more of the healing salve of kindness."
Putting it like that, of course we're exhausted. We're like a person who thinks they're feeling better at the end of an illness so they dive fully back into life, only to crash mid-day because their body didn't actually have as much energy as their brain thought it did. We tried to fling ourselves into life, desperate to feel normal and make up for lost time, without taking the time to fully acknowledge the impact of the past two years or to fully recover and heal from it.
Of course, life can't just stop, but we do need to allow some time for our bodies, minds and spirits to heal from what they've been through. The uncertainty, the precariousness of "normal," the after-effects of everything that upended life as we knew it are real. The grief and trauma of those who have experienced the worst of the pandemic are real. The overwhelm of our brains and hearts as we try to process it all is real.
So let's be gentle with one another and ourselves as we roll our harried selves into another new year. We could all use that little extra measure of grace as we strive to figure out what a true and healthy "normal" feels like.
You can follow Naomi Holdt on Facebook.
This article originally appeared on 12.23.22
There is no one quite like Christopher Walken.
Christopher Walken has had a very unique career. He won the Academy Award for his dramatic performance in “The Deer Hunter” and gave scene-stealing performances in “Pulp Fiction” and “True Romance.” But he’s also known for his brilliant comedic performances in “Wedding Crashers” and the iconic “More Cowbell” sketch from “Saturday Night Live.”
Walken’s unique speaking style has also made him a popular target for impressionists. He attributes his accent to growing up in Queens, New York, and hanging out with immigrants learning English.
However, you don’t want to impersonate Walken in front of Walken.
“People sometimes do imitations of me in front of me,” Walken told Vanity Fair with genuine confusion. “I always wonder what they’re doing. I don’t recognize it right away. And then I think, Oh, that’s what they’re doing.’”
Walken also has a knack for incorporating some one-of-a-kind noises into his performances. Walken's “Woah!" and "Yeah!” are trademarks of his off-kilter persona. He also has a unique way of phrasing his dialogue, making some of his lines instantly memorable.
YouTuber Del Calloway compiled some of Walken’s most memorable utterances from 25 films and set them perfectly to music. It's a wonderful encapsulation of the actor’s singular charisma. The video is reminiscent of a mega-viral compilation made by a HuffPo Entertainment employee of Walken dancing in 50 films.
Here’s a list of the films that Calloway used for the compilation.
“King of New York”
“A View to a Kill”
“Nick of Time”
“Things to Do in Denver When You're Dead”
“Romance & Cigarettes”
“Balls of Fury”
“At Close Range”
“The Prophecy 3: The Ascent”
“The Stepford Wives”
“Wayne's World 2”
“Pennies from Heaven”
It all comes down to "Hey girl" vs "Hey queen!"
While millennials and Gen Zer’s often get lumped together as the “young group,” they are certainly not the same. (Although, it is kind of hard to tell with all the Y2K fashion floating around.)
But speaking as a millennial, we definitely have different approaches to life, a lot of which seems to come down to a sense of self-assuredness. That goes for shopping, socializing, self expression…and even going to the hair salon, apparently.
Alexis Rex (@rex.artistry), hairstylist and owner of Rex Artistry Salon in Maryland, gave a brilliant (and hilarious) demonstration of some key personality differences between her millennial clients and her Gen Z clients in a now viral TikTok video.
First, Rex played her Millennial Customer.
Millennial Customer gently knocks on the door and immediately expresses her gratitude. “Hey girl! So good to see you! So excited!”
But at the same time, Millennial Customer wants in no way to be an inconvenience, so she immediately comes back with, “Where should I put my purse? It's okay, I'm just going to shove it in my own personal space so it's not in your way. At all."
Never one to demand attention, Millennial Customer wants a very subtle hair color change. Really, "it shouldn't even look like I got my hair done.” Not “super bold,” not “in your face.”
Then after flooding the hair stylist with compliments, Millennial Customer (ever wanting to be a good student) will ask a bunch of follow-up questions about how to maintain the style.
@rexartistry Millennial V Gen Z getting their hair done #hairstylist#hairstylisthumor♬ original sound - Alexis Rex
Then, Rex played her Gen Z Customer.
Gen Z Customer bolts through the door with a “Hey queen!” like a hurricane (who has time to knock?!) and is ready to plop her stuff down anywhere. Unlike her millennial counterpart, Gen Z Customer is perfectly fine to take up space unapologetically and even show up with hair that “hasn’t been brushed in a month.”
Gen Z Customer also knows exactly what she wants, and it’s anything but subtle. “I wanna do like in-your-face, bold contrast…I wanna look like a different f**king person. Let’s do it.”
Gen Z Customer has a different approach to complementing her hairstylist: “Oh my god! F**king Queen! You did that! God I love you.”
No further questions. Gen Z Customer already knows her brand of hair care products, and it’s “Olaplex. All Olaplex.”
Rex’s post quickly racked up 8.6 million views, generating literally thousands of comments discussing how spot on her imitations were.
Millennials in particular chimed in, many of whom couldn’t help but applaud its accuracy of depicting how millennials seem to constantly be apologizing for simply existing.
“I’m a millennial and once I missed the armhole for a sec when putting the cape on. I was convinced I had ruined the appointment,” wrote one person.
Another added, ‘I’m sorry for my hair. I’m sorry my hair takes so long. I’m sorry I had to move my head, omg I’m sorry. You offered me a drink? I will say yes. And then sorry.”
Many were also quick to applaud how Gen Zer’s seemed to have no issues in this arena.
“Gen Z just fully owning the ability to take up space,” one person commented.
"As a millennial I love Gen Z so much. They’re so free to be themselves and so open,” wrote another.
While there may be differences between generations, we can all learn something from one another. And we all enjoy getting our hair did.
By the way, Rex didn’t leave out her Gen X or Boomer clients. She has plenty videos of her imitating them, as well as some nifty style predictions on her TikTok, found here.
This article originally appeared on 2.23.23
Lucy Huber was confronted by the Costco cake brigade when she posted about the antiquated way you have to order.
Costco is known for many things—their employee satisfaction and retention, their amazing Kirkland Signature generic brand, their massive (and addictive) $4.99 rotisserie chickens, their never-going-to-raise-the-price $1.50 hot dog and soda meal and more.
But one favorite Costco feature that might just top them all? The Costco cake.
Costco cakes are legendary. If you've never had a Costco cake, I'm so sorry. If you have, then you know. They are the trifecta of awesome—huge, cheap and utterly delicious. I don't even like cake that much and I can't stop eating a Costco cake. Like, if you ordered a fancy cake from a fancy patisserie and it tasted like a Costco cake, you'd say, "Oh yeah, that was worth the $$ I just paid." Only at Costco, you'd get that delicious of a cake that would feed a thousand people for just $25. (Okay, 50 people, but still—cake for days.)
This is why people have a serious loyalty to Costco cakes, which writer Lucy Huber discovered when she dared to question the Costco cake ordering process on Twitter.
Huber took to the social media platform to share her anxiety over the antiquated way you have to order a Costco cake. You can't call it in. You can't order it online. You have to physically go to the Costco bakery, fill out a paper form at an unmanned cake ordering kiosk, drop your form in the drop box without speaking to a single human being, and then trust that your cake will be there when you return at your requested time.
It was the last part Huber poked fun of when she wrote, “Ordered a cake from Costco and their system is from the 1800s, you write what you want on a piece of paper & put it in a box then nobody follows up and you just show up and hope they made it? I tried to call to confirm & they were like 'if you put it in the box, it will be there.'”
\u201cOrdered a cake from Costco and their system is from the 1800s, you write what you want on a piece of paper & put it in a box then nobody follows up and you just show up and hope they made it? I tried to call to confirm & they were like \u201cif you put it in the box, it will be there\u201d\u201d— Lucy Huber (@Lucy Huber) 1683827354
"Oh also," she added, "when I called I had to call the main office bc there was no number listed for the bakery and they told me 'the bakery has no phone'. Truly living in 1802 right now."
Everything she wrote is true. But as she quickly learned, one does not question the Costco cake ordering system, as the Costco cake brigade demonstrated with a deluge of "Trust the system!" and "If it ain't broke, don't fix it!" sentiments.
Multiple people said they'd ordered more than 50 cakes from Costco with their dropbox system and had never had a problem. And any slight anxiety that might cause is worth it for cakes that are that cheap and that delicious. (As one person wrote after their first Costco cake experience, "100/10.")
\u201c@jonathangraf @clhubes Hahahaha I\u2019ve ordered many cakes from Costco this way and have only had one problem: one time I tripped walking out of the store and it fell upside down\ud83d\ude01. Manager came out and gave me one to replace it. It wasn\u2019t decorated but it was a cake. Thanks Costco!!!\u201d— Lucy Huber (@Lucy Huber) 1683827354
People who love Costco really love Costco.
They won us over with the 5 dollar chicken, cheaper gas and 1.50 hotdog plus drink. If the ceo of Costco was a murderer I’d need to see court documents from the trial before saying anything negative, let alone dissing the 1802 box— John (@John64647689) May 11, 2023
Only the Costco fanbase is built on a solid foundation of awesome business practices, fabulous food and great deals.
\u201c@SlackfulCyclops @clhubes They do make dough and love working there. 20 workers at my local Costco won a $200 million lotto jackpot, and half of them stayed on after they were paid out. Like the door greeter has several mill in the bank and still as cheerful as ever.\u201d— Lucy Huber (@Lucy Huber) 1683827354
Even some Costco bakery employees chimed in with some humor and support.
as a costco bakery employee we have to burn your paper with the sacred flame and hope that He brings the cake— tyler (@tylergotchi1) May 11, 2023
For the uninitiated, someone shared a photo of the magic cake kiosk where you make your choices, hope for the best and are never disappointed.
\u201c@clhubes This is so funny. For those who haven\u2019t done it before, heres a pic of the flawless order form.\u201d— Lucy Huber (@Lucy Huber) 1683827354
Huber got a kick out of the response, sharing that she's never had a tweet go viral that fast and she was no longer worried about the box system.
\u201cThis is the fastest one of my tweets has gone viral. The people LOVE Costco \ud83d\ude02 Excited to get my cake and no longer nervous!!!! I believe the box system works!\u201d— Lucy Huber (@Lucy Huber) 1683827354
As of this writing, she has not shared whether she received her cake as ordered or whether it was as scrumptious as the Costco cake lovers promised.
In a unanimous decision, the court sided with a transgender Guatemalan woman fighting deportation.
Amidst the backdrop of a passionate cultural debate over transgender rights, the Supreme Court has made a landmark ruling that uses a transgender woman's pronouns and chosen name. A ruling written by Justice Ketanji Brown Jackson refers to Estrella Santos-Zacaria, a transgender woman who was given the name Leon Santos-Zacaria and assigned male at birth, as “she.”
The court sided with Santos-Zacaria, 34, in a case centered around a migrant’s rights to appeal a denial of protection from removal from the U.S. The court's unanimous ruling now gives Santos-Zacaria another chance to contest the immigration officials' rejection of her plea to stay in the U.S.
Throughout the 19-page opinion, Jackson used the term “her” to refer to the petitioner seven times and referred to her as “she” in the opening sentence.
\u201cThe Supreme Court's first decision of the day is in Santos-Zacaria v. Garland. KBJ's opinion for the court holds that noncitizens need not request reconsideration of an unfavorable Board of Immigration Appeals decision to satisfy administration exhaustion. https://t.co/O0U6kxsoht\u201d— Mark Joseph Stern (@Mark Joseph Stern) 1683813833
“Petitioner Leon Santos-Zacaria (who goes by the name Estrella) fled her native Guatemala in her early teens,” Jackson wrote. “She has testified that she left that country, and fears returning, because she suffered physical harm and faced death threats as a transgender woman who is attracted to men.”
The opinion was joined by Justices Sonia Sotomayor, John Roberts, Elena Kagan, Amy Coney Barrett, Neil Gorsuch and Brett Kavanaugh.
Justice Samuel Alito wrote a concurrence joined by Justice Clarence Thomas that avoided the pronoun issue altogether. Alito’s discussion only references the statue and avoids referring to Santos-Zacaria. It used general terms such as “this case” and “the circumstances presented here.”
\u201cIn a major immigrants rights decision from SCOTUS today, the court ruled in favor of a trans female asylum seeker on a procedural question. They used her preferred name and correct pronouns.\u201d— Alejandra Caraballo (@Alejandra Caraballo) 1683814636
Santos-Zacaria was raped at the age of 12 in Guatemala and endured many threats of violence due to her gender identity. Fearing for her safety, she fled Guatemala and unlawfully entered the United States in 2008. She was deported twice and returned to the U.S. in 2018 after a gang in Mexico raped and assaulted her.
Her case came to the Supreme Court after a U.S. immigration judge found that she didn’t make a strong enough case that she would face persecution in Guatemala. The decision contradicts the fact that the State Department has found that Guatemala has done little to protectLGBTQ people.
The Supreme Court’s subtle nod to transgender rights comes at a time when politicians across the country have introduced over 430 bills that restrict fundamentals like health care, education and freedom of expression for LGBTQ people. About 1.6 million American teens and adults identify as transgender.
Trans rights look to be a big issue in the 2024 election, and the intense focus has many transgender people on edge.
“Across the community, there’s a broad array of reactions,” Imara Jones, the founder and chief executive of TransLash Media, told The Hill. “Some people are afraid, others are motivated, others are angry, others are fighting back.”
Americans seem to have conflicting feelings about trans issues. A 2022 poll found that 60% of Americans believe that "whether a person is a man or a woman is determined by sex assigned at birth," up from 54% in 2017. However, 64% of support laws that protect trans people from discrimination in jobs, housing and public spaces.
Here are 21 of the best responses.
It’s tough to quantify whether today’s parents are stricter or more permissive than previous generations, but the overall sentiment seems to be that parents are more lenient than they were a few decades back.
A poll by YouGov found that younger Americans are more likely than their elders to have been raised by “not very strict” or “not at all strict” parents. Thirty-nine percent of under-30s say that their parents weren't very strict or not strict at all, compared to only 15% of over-65s.
Nicola Kraus, author of “The Nanny Diaries,” believes that it’s a natural outgrowth of the fact that we know a lot more about children than we did in the past.
“We are deeply aware that our children are cognizant, conscious humans in a way previous generations weren't aware. Children were treated like pets or-worse-release-valves for their parents' stresses and fears, then expected to magically transform into healthy, functional adults,” she writes.
But this change in parenting has encouraged other trends that many think are creating a greater number of entitled young adults who can’t fend for themselves. These days we have helicopter parents, bulldozer parents and dependent parents whose overinvolvement in their children’s lives renders them incapable of becoming fully integrated adults.
Reddit user u/qquackie asked the online forum "What parenting 'trend' do you strongly disagree with?" and got an overwhelming number of responses from people who think that today's parents are raising entitled children.
Many of the responders think that parents are being too sensitive with their children and they don’t provide firm boundaries. They also think it’s a big problem for kids to think they’re the center of the universe.
Here are 21 of the most popular responses to the parenting question.
"I won't tell my child to stop kicking your leg repeatedly because i don't want to crush his spirit!' — StoicDonkey
"They are a normal part of being a person, teach them to handle negative emotions now before you send them out into a world they are not prepared to handle." — IAmRules
"You hear and see so many parents letting their children do whatever they want, no matter how destructive, rude or hurtful their behaviours are. Parents find themselves beholden to the whims of their childrens’ emotions in the name of gentle parenting, instead of true gentle parenting where (so I hear) boundaries are set alongside validating emotions." — candianuk
"You are the adult, not the kid. Children benefit sooo much more from clear rules and consequences." — NorthWeight3580
"The parent who removes all obstacles/challenges from a child’s life so they don’t learn about perseverance, problem solving, failure (sometimes you can try hard and still not get the reward) and learning from mistakes - unless the goal is to develop a highly anxious person - then, being a bulldozer parent is great." — spinefexmouse
"Abusing the talents of your child just to boost your self image in society." — sweettooth_92
"Hovering over them at every turn. Whatever happened to tossing them in a play area in another room and letting them create, explore, and get the occasional bumps?" — ansibley
"'My kid never lies to me.' Seriously. Parents absolutely should be their kid’s biggest supporter. But support sometimes means holding the kid responsible when they don’t do the right thing." — jdith123
"If this also counts... Parents who punish their kids for speaking up or otherwise explaining something, saying that they're 'talking back.' I honestly don't get why most parents refuse to admit they're not always right sometimes. Besides, what if their kid one day comes up to them and says another adult is touching them inappropriately?" — EntryRepresentative5
"Kids need freedom to explore the world, get dirty, engage in free play. I am not advocating putting the child outside on a Saturday morning and telling them to come home when the street lights come on, but an age acceptable level of freedom." — Cat_Astrophe_X
"Pushing them too hard in sports, academics, etc. Like pushing til they need therapy or get injured, no free time, no downtime. FFS, they only get to be young & without excessive responsibilities once." — Oh-Oh-Ophelia
"Loud cartoons and games on tablets in public places." — StarrCreationsLLC
"Oh man, I’m a nanny and work in daycare. I can talk so much about this. One is late potty training. Waiting to potty train a child is more and more common. Which I generally agree with. Wait until they’re 2.5-3 and knock it out. Some take longer, some are probably ready earlier. Better than rushing it and causing issues. What this has turned into. Not potty training. I nanny a 4 year old that is still in pull ups. She is more than capable of using the potty. Our 4 year old classroom just installed a diaper genie because so many 4 year olds are starting preschool in diapers. My best friend who is a Kindergarten teacher had 2 kids start kindergarten in diapers. Luckily they’re potty trained now." — cleaning-meaning
"Creating social media channels for your children where they proceed to upload videos and photos of their kids. Perfect place for pedophiles." — AJSK18
"I guess the overall trend of prioritizing academics/extracurriculars and college admissions over everything else. Give your kids some chores and let them hang out with their friends outside of structured sports and musical activities!" — hausfrau224
"Constantly giving your kid(s) a tablet or cellphone to keep them busy because you can't be bothered to actually be a parent or pay attention to them." — ZRuneDemonX
"I believe kids should have reasonable choices, like what their snack is and the character that's on their bedspread, but you can't let your 3 year old decide when you're allowed to leave your house. The world doesn't work that way." — cihojuda
"Saying 'what goes on in this house, stays in this house.' I know hundreds of victims of abuse, go through years of pain because of this phrase." — Dixie_Maclant
"The social media trend that keeps upping the expectations for birthday parties and any celebration connected to a kid. When I was a kid, birthdays consisted of a handmade invitation made by me, a cake from the grocery store, food that my Mom cooked and then inviting some friends and family over for games. Today's expectation is that every monthversary and half-birthday consist of a huge arch of balloons that will end up in the trash, a customized three-tier fondant cake, gift wrapping that color-coordinates with the themed party favors and of course, a very intentional outfit for the numerous photo ops that will take up most of the day. Anything for the 'gram, right? Don't even get me started on gender reveal announcements." — littlebunsenburner
"Trying to be your kid's 'friend,' not a parent. A parent is there to provide guidance and responsible behavior to model. Yes, sometimes making their actions have consequences and setting boundaries can be difficult and they'll not be too happy with you. That's part of the job. Ultimately I think that will result in a healthier relationship than being the "cool" permissive parent. I've seen results of that style of (not) parenting with very sad outcomes." — DataPlenty
"Perpetuating the myth that one's children are somehow special. With about 97% certainty, they are not. Teaching them that they are just sets them up for crushing disappointment down the road. It's far better to raise kids to believe they are ordinary people with a few gifts, but also some flaws and weaknesses." — AssistantToTheSensei
This article originally appeared on 2.20.23