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Man's response to his girlfriend's hormonal breakdown taught 2.7 million people how to love again

"If men ever wondered what women actually need in a relationship, this is it."

Credit: TikTok @megannlandersonn

Megan Anderson and boyfriend Alec Olmstead are walking green flags.

Amid the endless scroll of relationship theatrics and red flag compilations, a quiet moment of genuine tenderness has managed to captivate millions. When Portland creator Megan Anderson shared what could have been just another tearful breakdown, she inadvertently offered the Internet a masterclass in what love actually looks like when things get real.

Her TikTok—now viewed by over 2.7 million people—didn't just go viral; it induced a collective sigh online, and sparked a crucial conversation about emotional intelligence, hormonal realities, and the revolutionary simplicity of showing up for someone without trying to "fix" them.


@megannlandersonn ps I think I’m in my luteal phase
♬ original sound - megannlandersonn


The moment that started it all

The video opens with Anderson, 28, in tears after what she describes as a "crash-out" morning. Rather than offering the usual male repertoire of awkward back pats or "can-do" platitudes, her boyfriend (now fiancé), Alec Olmstead, responds with something that stopped millions of viewers in their tracks: emotional intelligence wrapped in a thoughtful roadmap to help her reset her day.

"Start with the treadmill," he suggests, his voice steady as a metronome. There's not a trace of derision or belittlement here: this isn't just exercise-as-medicine advice; it's the opening movement of what TikTokers would later dub his "reset day symphony." Olmstead crafts a ritual of renewal rather than a mere to-do list: "In the shower, tell yourself, 'I'm washing away every bit of bad energy for the day.' Then, your day will restart," he coaches, convincingly.


couple, happiness, emotional, intelligence, communication A couple on a charming picnic date. Photo credit: Canva

For his grand finale, Olmstead delivers what can only be described as a walk-off grand slam in the stadium of love: "Take the car to 23rd and shop. I'll give you money."

Before she can protest, he swoops in with the cherry on top. "When you're done, come get me. I'll have everything ready—blanket, food, paints," he promises. "We'll have a little picnic and paint. Does that work?"

Anderson beams back. She nods.

"We're going to reset our day and have an amazing day," Olmstead tells her, assuredly. "I love you."

No judgment, no fixing—just presence and a path forward.

Cue: Swooning.


via GIPHY


Why this response hits different

The brilliance of Olmstead's intervention isn't merely in his choice of words, but in his emotional competency and perfect execution. In the video's caption, Anderson mentions she might be in her "luteal phase"—that monthly hormonal rollercoaster where progesterone peaks and emotions run amok—and yet, her boyfriend doesn't miss a beat.

Not once did he resort to the tired "Is it that time of the month?" eye-roll that's been the downfall of lesser men since time immemorial. Instead, he navigated her emotional weather system with the finesse of a seasoned storm chaser, walking confidently into the eye of the storm with a reminder: "I've got you."

"I was emotional but also smiling inside, because he knows me so well," Anderson told Newsweek. She adores his suggestions, as demonstrated in the video, because she knows they "always stem from such a sincere desire for my well-being."


@megannlandersonn hi I’m Alec 👋
♬ original sound - megannlandersonn

Therapists refer to this as emotional intelligence—the ability to recognize, understand, and respond appropriately to emotional cues. Research indicates that this type of supportive partnership can have a profoundly positive impact on mental health and relationship satisfaction.


The Internet's reaction

The comments section erupted into a digital town square where relationship POVs collided. Women tagged partners with pointed "take notes" comments while single viewers lamented with theatrical despair.

"I didn't think this was real, and I literally read and watch Hallmark movies in my spare time," wrote one commenter. Another simply added: "Looked at my man and sighed…"


via GIPHY

And of course, there was well-deserved admiration. "Who is his mother? She deserves a reward!!" someone enthused.

"When he knows how to calm your storms and find resolutions instead of making you feel bad for having big emotions. HUGE WALKING GREEN FLAG ENERGY!" replied another.

One commenter put it very simply: "If men ever wondered what women actually need in a relationship, this is it," they wrote, garnering over 80,000 likes.


via GIPHY

The ripple effect went far beyond mere admiration. Women flooded the comments with their own luteal phase war stories—moments of feeling emotionally hijacked by their hormones and left to fend for themselves. "The luteal phase is literally a monthly personal hell," groaned one person. Another offered advice: In case anyone hasn't heard of this yet, taking an antihistamine has helped with my meltdowns."

What emerged was a digital chorus saying: "This happens to me too." In an Internet landscape where menstrual health often remains shrouded in euphemisms and bizarre commercials, this comment section became a revolutionary space—normalizing what has been whispered about for generations.


The science behind the support

Olmsted's response, while sweet, also emphasizes the importance of emotional intelligence in relationships. Research suggests that the most effective way to support someone in distress is to both acknowledge their feelings and offer practical help. He nailed both effortlessly.

What we can learn from his response:

Moving the body, moving the mind: His suggestion to hit the treadmill wasn't just about endorphins—exercise has been proven to regulate mood and reduce stress hormones, especially during times of hormonal fluctuation.

The shower reboot: That simple "wash away the bad energy" ritual? Pure genius. Mindful transition rituals are the emotional equivalent of turning your phone off and back on again—a psychological reset button when your internal operating system freezes.


couple, happiness, emotional, intelligence, communication Couple painting together. Photo credit: Canva

Art therapy without the co-pay: Anderson and Olmstead's picnic and paint date is the perfect psychological wellness one-two punch: social connection with a side of self-expression.

Partners, not saviors: Notice how Olmstead didn't try to swoop in and fix everything? (Well, the Internet sure did.) No one wants to be ordered around or made to feel as if their problems can be fixed with a wave of a wand. Unless they can be…in which case, wave away. Partnership, not paternalism, is the key here. Olmstead instead offered a steady presence and created a framework where they both could navigate Anderson's emotional weather together.


A lesson in showing up

As it turns out, this wasn't just any random Tuesday for the couple. Anderson later revealed that this tender moment happened right before Olmstead dropped to one knee with a ring. Talk about emotional whiplash.

"What I didn't know at the time was that Alec had been planning a proposal for months," Anderson told Newsweek. After three and a half years together, Olmstead flew both their families in for the big surprise. "It was such a special and unforgettable moment," she gushed.


And yes, they actually followed through with Olmstead's reset day blueprint. "My favorite part was the picnic at sunset where we painted together," Anderson remembers. "It was so sweet…I feel so grateful to always have him as a cheerleader in my corner."

In our fast-paced, hyper-stimulated world, what Olmstead gave Anderson that fateful day—and the Internet—was a masterclass in emotional partnership. He heard her. He saw her. He accepted her at every step. Then, he built a bridge, bringing her from her darkness into the daylight, brick by brick, simply through the act of being there.

No heroics required.

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Women don't know whether to laugh or cry over this 'Perry Menopause' comedy sketch

No one fully prepares you for "Perry" moving in, but she's the worst roommate ever.

The Holderness Family/Facebook

Kim Holderness meets her unwelcome new roommate, Perry Menopause.

Whether you are female yourself or you love someone who is, there's someone you need to be introduced to. Perry Menopause—or perimenopause in the real world—is a witch with a b who suddenly moves into your life sometime in your 40s, bringing with her all kinds of baggage and annoyances.

For some reason, no one fully prepares women for her arrival. Sure, we all hear about menopause itself all the time. You know about hot flashes. You know the hormonal changes and end of your menstruating years are coming sometime down the road, but that's it. Nobody informs you ahead of time that for years and years before menopause your body is going to go through drastic changes that will leave you constantly saying WTF?! and wondering if you have some horrible, hidden disease or if it's "just hormones" from perimenopause.

Let me tell you right now, there's no such thing as "just hormones." Hormones are potent and powerful, and they affect basically every single function in your body, as this Holderness Family skit about Perry Menopause illustrates.

Let’s run down a partial list of unwanted luggage this uninvited roommate brings with her, shall we? Perimenopause can cause upwards of 100 different symptoms, which include:

- heart palpitations

- hair loss

- joint pain

- forgetfulness

- foot cramps

- itching

- weight gain

- hot flashes

- cold flashes

- poor night vision

The really fun thing about this list is that a whole lot of these things can be indicators of something much more serious, so for years you get to play games like “Is it lymphoma/arthritis/a heart attack/dementia or is it perimenopause?"

And a lot of times your doctor is no help because they either have no idea that perimenopause is a thing or they pull the "just hormones" line as if the upheaval of your entire body is "just" something you're supposed to live with.

Watch Kim Holderness meeting Perry Menopause officially for the first time:

Women in the comments were thrilled to see what they've experienced being validated in such a funny way.

"This is all spot on," wrote one commenter. "I'm so glad that menopause and especially perimenopause is being highlighted more to help make us ladies not feel so crazy and gives men (and doctors) an idea that it actually exists!"

"I was just going to say that Perry is a B*$ch but you beat me to it," shared another commenter. "The itching, weight is the same but have shift to different places, acne, mood swings, lack of sleep…yup, the pleasures that we go through. My poor husband and son have to deal with Perry as well."

"So f-ing true. Perry’s been around me about 8 years. Getting pretty tired of her! Also, what about brain fog!!!" wrote another.

"I don’t know if I should laugh or cry because you guys NAILED it!!! (But that’s just Perry confusing my emotions again)," shared another. "The only thing I would add is the back and forth between hot & cold all night! 🥴 kicking covers off, then to get cold, then to get warm, so you just let the one leg out of the covers. 😳 Finally finding a way to push covers away onto my husband and just end up with the top sheet! Go away Perry!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣"

Kim explained that her husband Penn was actually the one who wrote the skit, which is admirable because it means he's been paying attention. Perry Menopause may be a fictitious person, but perimenopause is real, she's the worst and we definitely need to talk about her more.

You can follow The Holderness Family on Facebook for more hilariously relatable skits like this.

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These are 7 things they don't tell you about living with PCOS.

It was a cold, dreary day during my freshman year of college when the doctor said life-changing words:

“You have PCOS," she said unemotionally as she scribbled words on her notepad.

It wasn’t exactly a surprise. My older sister was diagnosed a few years before too, and we’d both experienced the same symptoms leading up to the diagnosis. Still, it wasn't a thrilling thing to be told.

Polycystic Ovary Syndrome (PCOS) is a hormonal endocrine disorder that affects between 1 in 10 and 1 in 20 women of childbearing age. As many as 5 million women in the United States could be affected, and many cases are undiagnosed. PCOS can cause irregular periods, infertility issues, and drastic changes in appearance, including acne, facial hair, and weight gain.

Being a teenager was already frustrating, but then my health decided to throw that curve ball.

So what did I do? I started running — a lot. Running eventually became my physical and mental refuge. It was a way to release my anger at what I thought was an attack on my womanhood and a way to tone up the parts of my body I had control over.

I completed the San Francisco Rock n' Roll Half Marathon in April 2015. Image from the author, used with permission.

I also changed the way I ate, and I started trying to find a therapist who wouldn't break my bank account.

But the most decisive and important things I've learned, and am still learning, aren't the things my doctor told me during that first appointment. Instead, this illness has taught me about the nitty-gritty of struggling with chronic illness, the gross and empowering things that medical textbooks won't teach you.

Here are some of those lessons that I — and many who have struggled with chronic illnesses — have learned during the journey.

1. My weight doesn’t define me.

Weight dominates women’s magazines. And every day, we’re given information about weighing too much or too little and which bodies are real and which aren’t.

You know what body is real? Yours.

When I found out I had PCOS, I trained for a half marathon, started doing yoga, and changed my diet, thinking that I could slim down to the dream image of my body I had in my head.

Ultimately, I lost a total of five pounds in one year. It was underwhelming, but I felt better than I’d felt during most of my young adult life during that year. My body, while large, gets me to work every day, runs half marathons in different cities, and does some pretty cool things in between. I’ve learned to be grateful for it, at all of its various shapes and sizes.

2. Just because it makes others uncomfortable, doesn’t mean I shouldn’t discuss it.

A lot of people don’t know about PCOS, and most of them don’t want to know more.

PCOS looks pretty different for everyone, but some commonly involved are weight gain, depression, body hair, and infertility. And those aren’t exactly pleasant. Unfortunately, there isn’t a lot of science out there on how to properly address PCOS just yet, leading to it being commonly misdiagnosed.

When I tried talking about my disease publicly, people were disgusted by it, and I also felt like they didn’t understand how a syndrome like mine could change my life so much. But here’s the thing:

When I talked about PCOS with friends who I trusted, I was more relieved and encouraged. Allowing the people I loved to help me through my health issues made a huge difference, and I’m better for it.

3. I don't need to be a doormat for terrible dates.

I grew up being told that I was intelligent and beautiful (because encouraging parents rock), but PCOS took a bit of a toll on my confidence when it came to dating. And sometimes, when I was getting used to my syndrome, I let society’s standards of worth dictate how I responded to romantic partners.

If someone indicated they were attracted to me, I felt like I had to be grateful for their interest. In turn, I became a doormat for terrible dates, and I accepted the love I thought I deserved because I thought I should be happy with what I got.

I learned quickly, though, that this couldn’t be further from the truth. But it took some heartache, self-reflection, and real talk from friends and family to get there.

4. Infertility is a big issue, but there are options.

I know, I know. Infertility probably isn't something a normal 18-year-old thinks about. But I've always known that I wanted a family of my own one day.

The great thing is there are plenty of resources, scientific breakthroughs, and support systems for people who struggle with infertility. Over the years, I have slowly found other women with PCOS who want to have kids. They are finding their own ways forward, whether that's through medicine, adoption, or in vitro fertilization.

There are options. There are almost always options. You just have to look.

5. Depression does not own me.

Depression is a common symptom of PCOS, and there are days when it's incredibly hard for me to get out of bed.

There are times, all too often, when my life seems amazing on the surface, but I’m crumbling inside. But here’s the thing I've learned: I have power.

I have the power to do things I know will improve my mood, like running, spending time with friends, and going to therapy. I've slowly learned (and am still learning!) the importance of self-care and the reality that self-care looks different for everyone.

Having power doesn’t mean there won’t be difficult days, but it does mean that eventually, I can get through my issues.

6. I enjoy food, and I should keep on enjoying it.

I’m a southern-raised American. I love good food. Like shrimp and grits, and spaghetti, and gelato! I still enjoy all those things and more. Unfortunately, PCOS isn’t exactly a fan of those foods or of carbs or sugar in general.

So while I indulge every now and then, I also focus on balance, and on keeping things in moderation. It keeps my hormones — and my taste buds — pretty happy.

7. I am not PCOS.

I have a syndrome. A frustrating syndrome. A highly under-researched syndrome. I have trouble losing weight, I have facial hair, and I struggle with depression daily.

But I am still not that syndrome.

I’m a writer, a reader, a runner, a traveler, and a Harry Potter fanatic. I am a multilayered person who laughs and drinks and has fun. I sometimes talk too much, put my foot in my mouth, and make really goofy mistakes.

I do all those things because I'm Kayla, not PCOS. And that is the most valuable lesson of all.

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