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Boomers and Gen Jones people discuss the 30 worst things about living in the '70s and '80s

Shoulder pads and cigarette smoke.

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Boomers and Gen Jonesers share worst things about the 1970s and 1980s.

Baby Boomers (those born from 1946 to 1964) and Generations Jones (those born specifically from 1954 to 1964) are two generations who remember what it was really like to live through the 1970s and 1980s. Nostalgia can put a rose-colored tint on the times. And for a lot of people, living through these two decades weren't all sunshine and rainbows.

In an online forum of people born after 1980, member Mundane_Bad_2437 posed the question: "For those who didn't like the 70s or 80s, why?" They continued, "I know that most people look back at the 70s and 80s as the good old days. But for anyone who actually lived during those decades and didn’t enjoy them, I’m really curious, why? What was it about that time that didn’t sit right with you? Just wondering what it was really like from the other side."

And Boomers, Gen Jonesers (and some Gen Xers) chimed in with their honest thoughts about some of the negatives about living through the two decades. These are some of the most interesting takes on why people didn't like the 1970s and 1980s.

1970s, 70s, life in the 11970s, 1970s picture, 1970s nostalgia Historical Studies, Reports, & Plans (U.S. National Park Service) www.nps.gov

"We always thought nuclear war with Russia as just a day away." - Evelyn-Bankhead

"Don’t forget those god awful leg warmers we thought were cute. Ugh." - kisskismet

"The cigarette smoke. We're all going to die of lung cancer." - valley_lemon

"Aids was a drag...." - PedalSteelBill2

"All but one of my gay friends died of AIDS. My best friend died in my arms. It was an epidemic." - wild-fury

"Shoulder pads. Have you seen the ugly cars from that decade? Chernobyl. Columbia Space Shuttle - and the empty promises of flying cars and trips to the moon and Jetpacks in our future." -Old-Bug-2197

chernobyl, chernobyl photo, chernobyl accident, chernobyl pic, chernobyl history 02790015 | Historical collections of the Chernobyl accident … | Flickr www.flickr.com

"I was a child in the 70s a teen in the 80s and I find all the 'good old days' comments coming from people who weren’t there or they were wealthy. The 70s had a lot of anger about Vietnam and Nixon, and fear about gas prices and inflation. Women were marching for equal rights and the men who came back from the war were pissed off. It wasn’t like the 70s show. The 80s were better economically but Reagan really messed things up and played up fear. As teens we could see this trend being bad and fearing for our future as so many adults were taken in by his charisma. It wasn’t the good old anything. There was more hope that technology might somehow make things better but there was fear too. It wasn’t perfect. We were not all about concerts and big hair. We were worried for our futures because the advice our parents gave us sounded too good and easy to be true, 'just go to college and your life will be great' and here I’m 54 and still up to my ears in college debt because my parents never helped pay for it even though they promised me they would. My job under pays me and all of their advice on how to adult was based on different times." - ArsenalSpider

"Sexism, so much sexism. The whole emancipated working woman was a scam, we were nothing but dolls meant to prop up a company. The hair maintenance alone took a fifth of your income…Watch Dolly Parton’s movie 9 to 5, and imagine that without the fun parts. Just working harder than any man, and still getting paid less. Just having to laugh at those sexual innuendos, and trying to 'politely' tell a man three times your age that you don’t want to 'stay for another drink'." - EnvironmentalEbb628

- YouTube Check out the official 9 to 5 (1980) Trailer starring Dolly Parton! Let us know what you think in the comments below. ▻ Watch on ...

"Women were consistently paid less for the same jobs." - SusanBHa

"I grew up in NYC in the '70s and '80s. As much people miss that version of the city it was kind of rough. Budget cuts. Dirty streets and subways with reduced service. Crime. The Great Lawn in Central Park was practically a dust bowl. Graffiti. Abandoned buildings. Lost jobs. Schools in decline. I was a kid in Queens and didn't really notice, aside from the gas shortages. But I can see people who grew up in the 50s and 60s not looking back on that period fondly." - damageddude

"I think people really don't remember or understand the high inflation rate and high unemployment of the era. When inflation went over 9% in 2022, people freaked out. I understand it was the shock, after prices being stable for so many years, but the inflation rate soon moderated after a year or two. Prices didn't go back down, but they aren't going up as quickly as they were in 2022. Now, imagine that inflation happening every year for several years in a row. That was the latter part of the 70's and early 80's. Then, when Reagan took office, his federal reserve chairman jacked up interest rates to kill inflation, which it eventually did, but it drove the unemployment rate over 10%. It was awful. As a high schooler, it was hard to get a job at a fast food place, as they were hiring adults for many of those jobs (the adults taking those jobs were unable to get jobs elsewhere...)." - SpiceEarl

"Nostalgia filters out the crap. But the 70s and 80s weren’t some golden era for everyone. Tons of people felt stuck—bad economy, sky-high inflation, racism and sexism baked into every system, cold war paranoia, no internet to escape into. Mental health? Not even a real conversation. Therapy = 'you’re broken'. Queer? Good luck. Different? Get bullied. Yeah, music slapped and the aesthetics were cool. But life for a lot of folks was survival wrapped in disco lights." - Thin_Rip8995

1980s, 9180s work, 1980s office, working 1980s, 1980s nostalgia Office workers in the early 1980's | This is a photograph of… | Flickr www.flickr.com

"Handling the details of life was much harder & took much more effort. I wouldn't trade the technology we have now for the best we had then." - PearlsRUs

"I enjoyed the 70s and 80s, largely because I was a teenager and a twenty something. My biggest complaint about that time was all the tobacco smoke in restaurants and bars and pretty much everywhere." - dweaver987

"I was very young during the 60s, and I loved all the peace, love, and creativity I saw happening. I was going to be a hippy when I grew up. Then they disappeared sometime between 70 and 80. I blame platform shoes and shoulder pads. What good hippie would hang around for that???" - Ok-Half7574

"The 80s f*cking sucked. Everyone was materialistic and shallow as hell and that's literally what was cool -- see Madonna's 'Material Girl.'" Yummy_Castoreum

- YouTube You're watching the HD Remastered music video for Madonna's "Material Girl", directed by Mary Lambert. Original song taken ...

"At the time? Vietnam, Watergate, gas shortages, stagflation, student loans with 18-20% interest, and the existential dread of the Cold War. But the music was amazing." - JustAnotherDay1977

"Loved the 80’s. 70’s were kind of depressing. Ugly colored clothes, browns, avocado greens, and harvest gold. Also for appliances. Not all music was bad, not enough regular rock, a lot of sleepy drug music (Jim Morrison)." - CanadianNana

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Millennials are growing concerned about their Boomer parents being glued to their phones

"For some reason they’re both acting like me when I was 20…"

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Millennials are fed up with their Boomer parents always being on their phones.

Millennials have never shied away from sharing their feelings about their Boomer parents (and their grandparenting abilities) on the Internet. Millennials are once again uniting to discuss a similar observation about their Boomer parents' frustrating phone use.

On Reddit in a thread generational differences, Millennial member Old-Beautiful-3971 shared their frustrating experience with their Boomer parents who are perpetually on their phones.

"My parents are on the very young end of being 'boomers'. For some reason they’re both acting like me when I was 20… that is to say, gluuuued to their phones," they wrote. "I tried to have an important conversation with my dad this morning and he did not once look up (and I’m certain he was scrolling through Instagram videos)."

phone, boomer, boomer phone, phones, phone habits Self Portrait Reaction GIF by The Garcías Giphy

They went on to add, "The only difference is that when I was 20 he could, and would often say 'Look at me when I’m talking to you. Put that thing away.' But if I said that to him now he’d get defensive and probably yell at me for being disrespectful. What the heck??? 😤"

The passionate post got a rousing response from fellow Millennials who have experienced the same thing with their Boomer parents.

"I have noticed it too and it makes me feel even weirder for having developed in the habit of flipping my phone face-down with my hands folded on top of it to let the person know that I'm listening for that they have my attention," one commented. "And to think that it's coming from the generation that tells everybody else that phones and TV will rot your brains."

phone, no phones, phone gif, boomer phone, parents phone Turn It Off Reaction GIF by Robert E Blackmon Giphy

Another shared, "My parents are visiting me right now. My dad is glued to his phone, even at the table during meals. Never once participating in the conversation except to point at the salt. This is the same man who would have screamed at me for bringing a book to the dinner table."

Others could commiserate about the role-reversal. "I've noticed this with my parents. It seems like I've switched places with them. I'm trying to use the online world less where as they are using it more and more," one commented.

Some Millennials noted that their Boomer parents' phone use has impacted other activities they attempt to do together. "It’s become so difficult to watch a movie with my parents. I tell them to put away their phone. Sometimes movies take two days to finish," another shared.

phone down, put phone away, put away phone, phone addiction, no phones Creators Club Phone Addiction GIF by Dylan McKeever Giphy

Many Millennials also shared how they communicate with their parents when they notice it. "I am witnessing that as well, my boomer mom and my almost gen z brother visit and they are both glued to their phones. I try and ask if they can put them away because I don't like my little son to see people like that. I do scroll but never when I am with him," one Millennial shared.

Another added, "I stopped visiting my boomer mom for awhile. I told her to her face that I couldn’t stand the fact that I took the time to drive to her, which I really hate driving, it scares me and I’m not very good at it, and spend MY time with her only for her to be on her phone most of that time. I stopped calling her too because of all the times she’d put me on hold to take another call and then tell me that she’d have to call me back, but she never did. I still rarely call her. I just text so it’s less intrusive and hurtful for me. Now when I visit, her and her husband stay off their phones. They turn the TV down and only put quiet music on instead of blaring whatever crap they were watching. I did thank them for it."

no phone, no phones, phones away, put phone down, boomer phone Chicago Pd Nbc GIF by One Chicago Giphy

However, a Gen Z commentor was quick to point out that Gen X is guilty of the same habit. "My gen x parents are hella addicted to their phones (I’m 22 for context)," they wrote. "I’m not saying i’m not, but it’s really hypocritical when they’ll be bitching at me about 'playing on my phone too much' when they’re literal ipad kids lol. the reality is, screens and social media are addicting to ANYONE, regardless of age."

Other Millennials pointed out that it's not just certain generations that are addicted to their phones. "I’m guilty of it as well. Everyone is at risk of screen addiction in this era," another noted. And another Millennial quipped, "Phones are addictive, that doesn’t just like go away with oldness 🤣."

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Gen Xer asking about Boomers' 'emotional immaturity' taps a multi-generational parenting issue

“If we don’t ASK about it or TALK about it, the problem doesn’t exist!”

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People discuss what it's like growing up with emotionally immature parents.

Parenting styles change every generation. Gen X parents didn't have technology (i.e. Google) to rely on to raise their kids, while Millennial parents today are all about gentle parenting. While Boomers have come under fire for being absent parents and grandparents, a common gripe that people have about their parents from all generations is their lack of emotional maturity.

In a Reddit forum of Gen Xers, member @Architecturegirl opened the discussion about emotionally immature parents. She explains that after reading a book on adult children of emotionally immature parents, she noted that while many Boomer parents have been accused of being emotionally immature--it really had nothing to do with their generation. "I had never really thought of emotional immaturity - like an inability to admit mistakes or preferring mind-numbing, polite conversation to meaningful connection - might be a generational issue," she wrote.

Rather, being raised by emotionally immature parents is a common multi-generational parenting issue--and many people have opened up about what the realities of being raised by emotionally immature parents looked like. Plus, they shared how they are finding healing. These are their most relatable stories.

mature, emotional maturity, emotionally immature, emotional immaturity, emotional intelligence This Country Comedy GIF by BBC Three Giphy

Stories

"In my house, the solution to any emotion-related problem (bullying, divorce, feeling disappointed, the fact that they sold my puppy during my birthday party so I 'wouldn’t notice,' and any/all lesser difficulties) was: 'if we don’t ASK about it or TALK about it, the problem doesn’t exist!' If got too big to be unnoticeable, the advice was something like, 'just ignore it,' and/or 'everything will be fine.' Or, the BLANK STARE: ie. 'I do not want to hear about this…we don’t talk about THAT…quit bothering me.'" —@Architecturegirl

"I had cancer and my mother told me she couldn’t talk about it because it was her biggest fear. Bugger my fears (I survived obviously and have been in remission for 25 years). Anything serious in my life she’ll just walk away as I’m talking or give a little laugh like she’s pretending to listen but has no idea of how wrong her reaction is to what I’m saying. It’s taken me 53 years but I’ve finally given up discussing anything of importance to me with her. They’re such a damaged (and damaging) generation." —@PuzzleheadedCat9986

"Among my friends and I who are Gen X it is a perfect 50-50 split between parents having emotional intelligence and those that don't. Two anecdotes: My wife's mother will still not say 'period' or 'sex.' They were 'the thing' (raised eyebrow) and the other thing (said in a disgusted tone). That was the sum total of the support my wife got. A friend grew up with a step father his whole childhood (bio father left right after birth). Step Dad was always detached and disinterested, and always drinking. Not violent, but not interested. When we were college age, his step dad got sober and realized what he had missed. Apologized and grew. Really made the effort to the point that in his late twenties my friend agreed to be officially adopted and changed his last name. Step dad is currently the most supportive and most present grandad of our group of friends." —@Mourning_Walk

silent treatment, emotional maturity, emotional immaturity, the silent treatment, giving silent treatment Will Forte Silent Treatment GIF by hero0fwar Giphy

"My mother and the silent treatment are like 🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽🤞🏽. I don’t think that woman has ever once used her words to express displeasure or disappointment, just a lot of huffing, puffing, slamming cabinets, eye rolls and going days without speaking. Her record was once 17 whole days! It was the most peaceful 17 days of my teenage life 😂." —@ThickConfusion1318

"My mom can’t take criticism. Like at all. If I say, 'Hey, you said/did this thing that really hurt me.' Her response is usually either to blame me and point out something completely unrelated that I did as a 'See? You’re not perfect either!', make excuses 'I meant something totally different than what I said, so it’s fine.', act like I’m completely overreacting 'You’re so over dramatic! You’re always upset over everything and I have to walk on eggshells!' Or to just get angry and start berating me for daring to bring it up to begin with. So it pretty much puts me in a position where I can’t talk to her about anything at all wrong in our relationship because she’s immediately going to take it as an attack and get defensive no matter how gently I word it. She always ends up upset and nothing is solved. So the best I can do is put distance and space between us to protect myself. And she keeps wondering why I never call or visit anymore." —@barb4290

"I am pretty sure that as a generation, millennials suffered from emotional neglect from our parents. For me it was just as simple as my parents being unable to show any type of affection and would avoid/refuses certain topics of conversations. my mom was pretty dismissive and acted as it was an annoyance for her when I got my first period. She acted similarly as I hit several milestone growing up and it just never felt safe to talk to her about anything. Also, my dad would throw tantrums whenever he would not get his way, then blame my mom." —@therdre

angry, anger, handle emotions, mad, emotional Angry Inside Out GIF by Disney Pixar Giphy

"Growing up, my mother was not able to compartmentalize her stress from her job as a public school teacher. Would take it out on me for not eating peas or something at dinner, and I'd end up being yelled at by dad because he'd always take her side. Didn't understand until I got older, and they're still together, but at the time I was like wtf you see this, its crazy." —@SeenNotScene

Healing Solutions

"'Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents' by Lindsay Gibson is the GenX guidebook to dealing with all of our trauma spilling out at midlife. This book / concept comes up often in this subreddit. Personally it helped me a lot." —@ND_Poet

"One thing I needed to come to terms with is that I cannot control my mother’s actions or feelings. Period. It was not my responsibility to do that. It was her responsibility to manage those things. It had been hers for a very long time, since way before ny sisters and I were even a thought. Once I understood that - not only on an intellectual level but an actual felt level, it became easier to make choices for my own well being. Boundaries. As others have said." —@Stop_Already

boundaries, setting boundaries, boundary setting, boundary, healthy boundaries Jake Johnson Fox GIF by New Girl Giphy

"Here's what I have determined after raising kids to young adulthood. My parents did the best they could with the hand they were dealt. They did better than their own parents." —@Reader47b

"Finally, at age 48, I stepped away from their table, that I kept trying to sit at. I was trying to rescue them. Finally realized, I can't. They make the same amount of noise whether I am safe on shore, or jump in to the deep end and drown trying to rescue. Same amount of noise. And it does zero good. Put yourself first. Then your spouse and any kiddos next. That's it. It's ok to go low or no contact. It sort of hasn't mattered in my situation. And it's ok to grieve that you didn't have the parents you needed, and if you have kids, they won't have the grandparents they needed either. But you can be your parent (reparent yourself), and be the best damn grandparent if that is where you get to be. Break the cycle. You are worth it." —@redtail_rising

"One thing that helps me is to remember that it's not her fault she's like that (her parents were abusive - I don't think her emotionally capabilities developed normally). And keep my distance if she's upset about something. I am not her therapist, she cannot make me be her therapist, and I cannot convince her to go to therapy. Her mental health is not my problem." —@WhiskerWarrior2435

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"The book 'Stop Walking on Eggshells' by Paul Mason and Randi Krieger is geared toward coping with family who have BPD, but it is a good overall guide on how to set boundaries and protect yourself against toxic/dysfunctional family, regardless of underlying pathology. Highly recommend. It allowed me to finally have a relationship with my mother that didn't leave me a mess after every conversation." —@UserUnknown

"I set hard boundaries and distanced myself from them as early as possible. I accepted that I was not responsible for their feelings or the outcomes of their decisions. I stopped trying to help/correct them because they didn't want to hear it and it just created friction/tension. I just came to accept that my parents didn't want to change/learn and that was a core aspect of who they were. And, even if they did want to, they didn't want to do so as a result of interactions with me because they were accustomed to a power dynamic in which I was subordinate to them and my being an adult wasn't going to cause them to forfeit any of that power." —@DerHoggenCatten

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People discuss brutally honest reasons why so many Boomer grandparents seem to be hands-off

"They were also pretty hands off as parents, too."

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People offer their theories on why Boomer grandparents are more absent.

Boomer grandparents have recently come under fire by their Millennial children for how they grandparent. Many Millennials have opened up online about their parents' less-than-stellar help with grandkids and their overall absence.

In a Reddit forum discussing the differences between generations, user @No_Language_423 posed the question: "Why are so many Boomer grandparents hands-off?" They went on to add, "Genuinely curious about this. Why is it that so many Boomer grandparents seem completely uninterested in being involved or helping out with their grandkids in a real, consistent way?"

In a further explanation, they added, "From what I’ve seen and heard, a lot of Boomers actually did have active, supportive parents when they were raising their own kids. Their moms would babysit, cook, or even move nearby to help out. But now, when Millennials become parents and hope for that same kind of support, it’s like even asking is seen as too much. Some even act insulted by the idea."

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However, they also noted this description of Boomer grandparents can't be generalized. They added, "Of course, there are outliers. I’m not talking about the people who comment, 'Well I help my kids all the time.' That’s great, but I’m noticing a pattern, not isolated cases. There seems to be a broader generational vibe around this. It doesn’t feel like a case-by-case thing, it feels like a shift in attitude."

They ended their post with more pondering thoughts. "At the same time, I hear a lot of Millennial parents saying they already plan to be very involved grandparents someday. So what changed? Is it a cultural shift? A difference in how retirement is viewed? Or maybe Boomers didn’t get as much help as we assume? Curious to hear what others think, especially from people who’ve experienced this dynamic firsthand."

Many people chimed in with their thoughts and firsthand experience as to why Boomer grandparents seem to be hands-off. These are 15 of the most compelling responses.

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"The parents of boomers didn’t call their kids boomers; they called them the ME generation. Because it was all about them. They’re the ME generation." —@BEniceBAGECKA

"They were also pretty hands off as parents, too."—@ azulsonador0309

"Their moms were 23 when they had kids. Their kids were 23 when they had kids. Grandma was 46. Today’s grandmas are in their sixties. They have a hard time getting through the day without their own naps." —@Ok_Membership7264

"My theory is that it's related to people having kids later in life. The grandparents are older on average." —@nineoctopii

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"It's because they had children because 'that's what's done,' not because they actually wanted them. Now that they're 'free,' they aren't going to give that up for anything. Notice how they are also distant with their own kids. It's not like they're interested in their kids, but not the grandkids. They want nothing to do with any of it." —@ExcellentCold7354

"I'm 56. Most 56 year olds these days still have full time jobs and other responsibilities to where babysitting and moving are not viable options." —@shammy_dammy

"Have you met Gen X? They were feral kids for a reason. The boomers could barely be bothered to raise their own children. They certainly aren't going to be stepping up for the grandkids." —@gwenkane404

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"Millennials have also changed. Every time I offer to help, I get a scroll of instructions, gluten-free snacks, feelings charts, and nap negotiations that last longer than peace talks. Any small deviation is treated like trauma. It’s exhausting." —@Revolutionary-Buy655

"I'm a millennial with Boomer parents. My parents were pretty hands off when I was a child, so it's not surprising they were hands-off with their grandchildren. My parents dropped me off with my grandparents for weekends so frequently that I had my own bedroom there. I plan to be an involved grandparent because I value the relationship I had with my own grandparents so much. I feel sorry for the Boomers. They don't realize how much they are missing out on by focusing on themselves." —@CandidateNo2731

"They were sold the idea of retirement their entire lives. And now they feel entitled to that instead of adjusting with the times. They’re loss, historically." —@rollbackprices

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"I think part of the answer is because a lot of them didn’t really want to have kids in the first place. But back then it’s just what you did. You got married at 20 and started popping out babies shortly after. If you didn’t, you were an abomination to the family." —@Screamcheese99

"We are older than the previous generation's grandparents. Believe it. Being 60+ and trying to care for toddlers is hard! Also, despite our experience and knowledge, we are often given ridiculous instructions and rules to follow by our own children, along with lists of likes/dislikes to adhere to. They expect entertainment in ways we are just not able to provide. Personal example from my attempt at babysitting my grandchild: I literally have not moved the car seat, that she installed, even an inch, but my DIL huffs, sighs, makes comments when getting her out of it. I am nice enough to drive her to her job to shorten their commute home, but I even do that wrong. So, forget it. I tried." —@TXteachr2018

"I think its because we live so far away from each other." —@Apprehensive_Pie_105

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"Hmm. I feel like the sense of community is gone. Starting with the Boomers in my family they emigrated to the US and scattered away from each other. States away from each other they had no support system and worked themselves ragged. There wasn’t really a village to help raise a child. Now that they are retired it’s like having a second chance at life and they don’t want to spend it watching kids. They want to pursue their hobbies and relax which I honestly don’t blame them." —@KorraNHaru

"Many Boomers (not all! so don't come for me lol) have deep, untreated trauma and mental health issues. Many are even very detached from their own existences at this point. Narcissistic traits are common among them, which is based in deep self-loathing. I think deep down a lot of them feel ashamed of how they raised their kids and don't want to mess up their grandkids as well." —@Arysta

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