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Millennial parents are pleading with Boomer grandparents to stop giving excessive gifts to grandkids

"I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge."

Image via Canva/PeopleImages

Boomer grandparents are excessively gifting their grandkids, and Millennial parents have had enough.

Millennial parents and Boomer grandparents don't always see eye to eye on parenting and grandparenting. Now, Millennial parents are uniting on a nightmare Boomer grandparenting trend that sees them "excessively gifting" their grandkids with tons of both new and old *unwanted* stuff during visits.

Ohio mom Rose Grady (@nps.in.a.pod) shared her "Boomer grandparent" experience in a funny and relatable video. "Just a millennial mom watching her boomer parents bring three full loads of 'treasures' into her home," she wrote in the overlay.

Grady can be seen looking out the window of her home at her Boomer mom and dad carrying bags and boxes up her driveway after several visits. The distressed and contemplative look on Grady's is speaking to plenty of Millennial moms.

@nps.in.a.pod

Today's "treasure" highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery... #boomerparents #boomers #boomersbelike #millennialsoftiktok #millenialmom #motherdaughter

Grady captioned the video, "Today's 'treasure' highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery..."

The humorous video resonated with with fellow Millennial parents. "Straight to the trash when they leave," one viewer commented. Another added, "I always say 'if you don’t want it in yours, we don’t want it in ours' 😂."

Even more Millennial parents have shared and discussed their situations with Boomer grandparents buying their kids too much stuff on Reddit. "Both my mother and my MIL love buying and sending toys, books, clothes, etc. I don't want to be ungrateful but we just don't need it and don't have the space. I have brought this up politely in 'we are all out of drawers for that' but it hasn't slowed things down," one explained. "I think part of the issue is that the grandparents live in different cities and vacation a lot. They don't get to see our daughter much so they buy stuff instead."

Another Millennial parent shared, "While the intention is very kind behind these, all the grandparents are very aware that we do not need, nor wish to receive these gifts in such an excessive volume - as it creates a daily struggle to store and accommodate in our home. I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge."

millennial parents, millennial parent, millennial mom, kids room, organize Millennial mom struggles to organize her son's room.Image via Canva/fotostorm

How to talk to Boomer grandparents about gifts

So, why are Boomer grandparents excessively gifting? "Boomer grandparents may be the first grandparent generation to have accumulated the substantial discretionary funds that enables them to spend money on their grandchildren," Sari Goodman, a Certified Parent Educator and founder of Parental Edge, tells Upworthy. "These grandparents probably grew up with grandparents who didn’t have that kind of money and so they may be excited to give their grandchildren the things they didn’t get."

Goodman suggests that Millennial parents first discuss with them the "why" behind the gifting. "What comes before setting a boundary to limit over-the-top gift-giving is delving into the reasons grandparents are buying so much," she explains. "Coming from a place of compassion and understanding makes it possible to come up with mutually beneficial solutions."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

She recommends that Millennial parents sit down with their Boomer parents to learn more. "Did they grow up without many toys and clothes and are fulfilling a dream? Ask them about the values they learned as children (hard work, perseverance, the power of delayed gratification) and how they can pass on these lessons to the grandchildren," she suggests.

She adds that another reason may be that Boomer grandparents live far away and want their grandchildren to feel a connection with them. "Set up a regular FaceTime or Zoom meeting. Rehearse with the kids so they have something to say and suggest a topic for the grandparents," says Goodman. "Or send snail mail. Kids love getting mail. The grandparents can send postcards from where they live and explain some of the special sites."

boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting, video chat, video call, grandkids Boomer grandparents have a video call with grandkids.Image via Canva/Tima Miroshnichenko

Finally, Goodman adds that for some grandparents, this may be is the only way they know how to show their love. Millennial parents could ask if they would be open to other ideas. "Parents can set up an activity for grandparents and kids to do when they come over—a jigsaw puzzle, art activity, board game, magic tricks," she says. "Arrange for the grandchildren to teach the grandparents something their phones can do or introduce them to an app they might like."

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Boomers and Gen Jones people discuss the 30 worst things about living in the '70s and '80s

Shoulder pads and cigarette smoke.

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Boomers and Gen Jonesers share worst things about the 1970s and 1980s.

Baby Boomers (those born from 1946 to 1964) and Generations Jones (those born specifically from 1954 to 1964) are two generations who remember what it was really like to live through the 1970s and 1980s. Nostalgia can put a rose-colored tint on the times. And for a lot of people, living through these two decades weren't all sunshine and rainbows.

In an online forum of people born after 1980, member Mundane_Bad_2437 posed the question: "For those who didn't like the 70s or 80s, why?" They continued, "I know that most people look back at the 70s and 80s as the good old days. But for anyone who actually lived during those decades and didn’t enjoy them, I’m really curious, why? What was it about that time that didn’t sit right with you? Just wondering what it was really like from the other side."

And Boomers, Gen Jonesers (and some Gen Xers) chimed in with their honest thoughts about some of the negatives about living through the two decades. These are some of the most interesting takes on why people didn't like the 1970s and 1980s.

1970s, 70s, life in the 11970s, 1970s picture, 1970s nostalgia Historical Studies, Reports, & Plans (U.S. National Park Service) www.nps.gov

"We always thought nuclear war with Russia as just a day away." - Evelyn-Bankhead

"Don’t forget those god awful leg warmers we thought were cute. Ugh." - kisskismet

"The cigarette smoke. We're all going to die of lung cancer." - valley_lemon

"Aids was a drag...." - PedalSteelBill2

"All but one of my gay friends died of AIDS. My best friend died in my arms. It was an epidemic." - wild-fury

"Shoulder pads. Have you seen the ugly cars from that decade? Chernobyl. Columbia Space Shuttle - and the empty promises of flying cars and trips to the moon and Jetpacks in our future." -Old-Bug-2197

chernobyl, chernobyl photo, chernobyl accident, chernobyl pic, chernobyl history 02790015 | Historical collections of the Chernobyl accident … | Flickr www.flickr.com

"I was a child in the 70s a teen in the 80s and I find all the 'good old days' comments coming from people who weren’t there or they were wealthy. The 70s had a lot of anger about Vietnam and Nixon, and fear about gas prices and inflation. Women were marching for equal rights and the men who came back from the war were pissed off. It wasn’t like the 70s show. The 80s were better economically but Reagan really messed things up and played up fear. As teens we could see this trend being bad and fearing for our future as so many adults were taken in by his charisma. It wasn’t the good old anything. There was more hope that technology might somehow make things better but there was fear too. It wasn’t perfect. We were not all about concerts and big hair. We were worried for our futures because the advice our parents gave us sounded too good and easy to be true, 'just go to college and your life will be great' and here I’m 54 and still up to my ears in college debt because my parents never helped pay for it even though they promised me they would. My job under pays me and all of their advice on how to adult was based on different times." - ArsenalSpider

"Sexism, so much sexism. The whole emancipated working woman was a scam, we were nothing but dolls meant to prop up a company. The hair maintenance alone took a fifth of your income…Watch Dolly Parton’s movie 9 to 5, and imagine that without the fun parts. Just working harder than any man, and still getting paid less. Just having to laugh at those sexual innuendos, and trying to 'politely' tell a man three times your age that you don’t want to 'stay for another drink'." - EnvironmentalEbb628

- YouTube Check out the official 9 to 5 (1980) Trailer starring Dolly Parton! Let us know what you think in the comments below. ▻ Watch on ...

"Women were consistently paid less for the same jobs." - SusanBHa

"I grew up in NYC in the '70s and '80s. As much people miss that version of the city it was kind of rough. Budget cuts. Dirty streets and subways with reduced service. Crime. The Great Lawn in Central Park was practically a dust bowl. Graffiti. Abandoned buildings. Lost jobs. Schools in decline. I was a kid in Queens and didn't really notice, aside from the gas shortages. But I can see people who grew up in the 50s and 60s not looking back on that period fondly." - damageddude

"I think people really don't remember or understand the high inflation rate and high unemployment of the era. When inflation went over 9% in 2022, people freaked out. I understand it was the shock, after prices being stable for so many years, but the inflation rate soon moderated after a year or two. Prices didn't go back down, but they aren't going up as quickly as they were in 2022. Now, imagine that inflation happening every year for several years in a row. That was the latter part of the 70's and early 80's. Then, when Reagan took office, his federal reserve chairman jacked up interest rates to kill inflation, which it eventually did, but it drove the unemployment rate over 10%. It was awful. As a high schooler, it was hard to get a job at a fast food place, as they were hiring adults for many of those jobs (the adults taking those jobs were unable to get jobs elsewhere...)." - SpiceEarl

"Nostalgia filters out the crap. But the 70s and 80s weren’t some golden era for everyone. Tons of people felt stuck—bad economy, sky-high inflation, racism and sexism baked into every system, cold war paranoia, no internet to escape into. Mental health? Not even a real conversation. Therapy = 'you’re broken'. Queer? Good luck. Different? Get bullied. Yeah, music slapped and the aesthetics were cool. But life for a lot of folks was survival wrapped in disco lights." - Thin_Rip8995

1980s, 9180s work, 1980s office, working 1980s, 1980s nostalgia Office workers in the early 1980's | This is a photograph of… | Flickr www.flickr.com

"Handling the details of life was much harder & took much more effort. I wouldn't trade the technology we have now for the best we had then." - PearlsRUs

"I enjoyed the 70s and 80s, largely because I was a teenager and a twenty something. My biggest complaint about that time was all the tobacco smoke in restaurants and bars and pretty much everywhere." - dweaver987

"I was very young during the 60s, and I loved all the peace, love, and creativity I saw happening. I was going to be a hippy when I grew up. Then they disappeared sometime between 70 and 80. I blame platform shoes and shoulder pads. What good hippie would hang around for that???" - Ok-Half7574

"The 80s f*cking sucked. Everyone was materialistic and shallow as hell and that's literally what was cool -- see Madonna's 'Material Girl.'" Yummy_Castoreum

- YouTube You're watching the HD Remastered music video for Madonna's "Material Girl", directed by Mary Lambert. Original song taken ...

"At the time? Vietnam, Watergate, gas shortages, stagflation, student loans with 18-20% interest, and the existential dread of the Cold War. But the music was amazing." - JustAnotherDay1977

"Loved the 80’s. 70’s were kind of depressing. Ugly colored clothes, browns, avocado greens, and harvest gold. Also for appliances. Not all music was bad, not enough regular rock, a lot of sleepy drug music (Jim Morrison)." - CanadianNana

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Boomers and Gen Xers share 30 things they don't miss from the 80s and 90s

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too."

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Boomers and Gen Xers discuss the things they don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Nostalgia is all about remembering how things were in the "gold old days." But sometimes, upon further reflection, some things really sucked in the past despite how rosy our colored glasses made them look. Boomers and Gen Xers are reminiscing on the things they really don't miss from the 1980s and 1990s.

Over on Reddit, member pizzagamer35 posed the question to Boomers and Gen Xers: "What is something you do NOT miss from the 80s-90s?"

Boomers and Gen Xers had plenty of throwback experiences and products they are happy to never come across again. These are 30 of the most nostalgic responses from Boomers and Gen Xers about things they don't miss about the 80s and 90s.

landline, landline phone, 90s phone, phone call, retro phone Saved By The Bell Laughing GIF Giphy

"Long distance phone bill." —gohdnuorg

"Having to wait until after 7pm or whatever so you could call your long distance friends because it was free after that." —raz0rbl4d3

"Answering the landline and having no idea who's calling. Just raw, unfiltered anxiety." —Fit-Interview-3886

"Not having GPS." —recrysis

"Smoking or non smoking and still be in the smoking section." —Less-Lengthiness4863

smoking, smoke, cigarettes, smoking section, smoking 90s mothers day smoking GIF Giphy

"Using those Noxzema pads to burn and dry out my pimply face. It had a smell, too." —poizon_elff

"Waiting for JPGs to load one line at a time." —timmayd

"Those hair ties with the two giant plastic beads on them that EVERY mom used to tie up their daughter's hair in pigtails. God forbid she lose her grip on one while she was already ripping your soul out through your scalp." —Honey-Badger-90

"Third degree burns from metallic seat belt fasteners." —JLMTIK88

"Not being able to use the internet if someone needed the phone line to be free." —Joshawott27

internet, internet 90s, dial up internet, old internet, slow internet Girl 90S GIF Giphy

"Satanic panic." —Historical_Spot_4051

"Buying a CD and realizing all the songs suck, except for one, maybe two." —11B-E5

"Batteries and flashlight bulbs. Holy crap they were crap. I still remember seeing the little LED light on our shitty car radio and asking dad what kind of light that tiny dot was. He told me it was a diode and diodes kinda 'last forever'. I immediately wondered why the hell we weren't developing that tech." —snoozieboi

"Shoulder pads." —Thin_Apartment_8076

shoulder pads, shoulder pad, 80s shoulder pads, 90s shoulder pads, vintage style Mc Hammer Dancing GIF by Jukebox Saints Giphy

"Ordering pizza by calling the restaurant and yelling your order to a guy in a noisy kitchen. Missing an episode of your favorite TV show (or forgetting to tape it if you had a VCR) and not being able to see it until summer reruns, or maybe never." —Imaginary-List-4945

"Terrible contact lenses." —MandatoryMatchmaker

"To contribute something small: manual computer defragmentation. It took several hours and you couldn't do anything else." —rena-vee

"Pay Phones that gave you limited talk time." —Aggravating-Iron9804

pay phone, payphone, payphones, payphone, 90s phone Season 3 Marge GIF by The Simpsons Giphy

"Gym class. Boys were expected to know how to play sports. My dad taught me how to fix tractors and cut firewood, but he didn't teach me sports because no one ever taught him. The gym teacher didn't teach us sh*t. When we f*cked up or didn't know what to do, the jocks would laugh and the teacher would join in the fun." —Fluffy-Cupcake9943

"The 'heroin chic' body type." —Heartbreak_Star

"Panty hose." —Kitty-haha

"Aqua net=hair that absolutely did not move! And you could see little hairspray bubbles 😔🫠😂😂." — IAmTheBlackStar1979

"Having to rewind VHS tapes like it was a part-time job." -—Repulsive_Corgi_6187

vhs, vhs tape, vhs rewind, rewinding vhs, vhs rewinding Animated GIF Giphy

"Waiting by the radio for your song to play so you can record it on tape." —mycrml

"Serial killers. They just can't exist at the same level anymore. Plus we got all the lead out of stuff. So now people are 100% normal. 100%." —PrimeNumbersby2

"Manual roll up/down windows in cars." —Human-Average-2222

"Carpeted bathrooms. someone shared a bunch of pictures of them on some nostalgia account and i could smell the pictures through my phone 🤢." —GoblinHeart1334

"Busy signal on the phone." —crjconsulting

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Gen Xers and Boomers discuss the eye-opening aging warning signs no one warned them about

"That eventually you will end up in that CVS aisle you always skipped because it didn’t pertain to you."

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Gen X and Boomers share unexpected signs of aging.

No one can speak on the truths about aging quite like Boomers (those born 1946 to 1964) or Gen X (those born 1965 to 1980). With years of life under their belt, they possess rare wisdom and insight into what it's like to really get old.

Over on Reddit, user @Knightress04 posed the following question to Boomers and Gen Xers on the hilariously named /AskOldPeople channel: "What’s something about aging that no one warned you about, but you wish they had?"

The responses did not hold back. Gen Xers and Boomers opened up about their first-hand experiences and let their opinions flow. These are the best responses to the warning signs about aging from Gen Xers and Boomers, including the good, the bad, and the ugly:

"The slow loss of everything, your abilities, your health, your friends, relatives, places you loved, etc. Just the eroding away of everything." —@ BreadfruitOk6160

"All the loss you endure." —@southerndude42

"I wish they had warned me that it's OKAY 'not to do anything' when you retire. My husband and I have been retired about two years now, and it's been wonderful. But we're not jetting around the world. We are just relaxing, enjoying being home. And that's okay, it doesn't mean we have a worse life now." —@slenderella148

"The invisibility." —@TimeSurround5715

aging, aches, pains, getting old, pain hurting season 3 GIF Giphy

"Aches and pains don’t go away in a day. Sometimes it takes a week." —@OscarTravolta

"Start appreciating the smallest things… like a quiet morning, or when a friend texts u a meme outta nowhere. those tiny moments hit diff now." —@quietswoon

"It’s so much harder to gain muscle once you age." —@GroundAndSound

"That eventually you will end up in that CVS aisle you always skipped because it didn’t pertain to you." —@IntentionAromatic523

time flies, time fly, flying by, time passing, time pass Alarm Clock Time GIF Giphy

"How fast time goes by. I was 21 yesterday. Now I'm 69. Time went by way to quickly." —@Dry-Cause2061

"That I would feel this great. And content. And so much more in love with my SO, decade after decade. That there would be as much joy in walking fast laps as there was in running full court basketball. That for all the travail I've had a wonderful life. That it would become so easy to understand Robinson Jeffers:"

Still the mind smiles at its own rebellions,
Knowing all the while that civilization and the other evils
That make humanity ridiculous, remain
Beautiful in the whole fabric, excesses that balance each other
Like the paired wings of a flying bird."

—@Own-Animator-7526

"All the napping! I've never needed so many naps..." —@Familiar_Collar_78

nap, napping, naps, take a nap, naptime The Blacklist Sleep GIF by NBC Giphy

"Menopause. I knew so little about it beyond hot flashes, but what absolutely NOBODY told me was: after 40+ years of mostly painful, heavy periods, it is a GLORIOUS feeling not to have a period anymore. 🙌 I especially love the freedom of being able to travel without having to calculate whether I’d need to pack extra products and underwear. (Thank God my agony came pretty much like clockwork every 28 days. 🙄)." —@Technical-Bit-4801

"Death, there are fewer & fewer people that know who you really are & where you came from. I've these parts of my life I shared with friends, & they're dead now. It's a strange feeling, when I'm gone it'll be like those moments never happened. The loss of shared experiences, I guess. It's nothing terribly important, or even very impactful, it's just slightly sad." —@Inside_Ad_7162

"How precious time will feel. Every moment matters to me now and I have no patience for squandering it. I consider myself very laid back but if there is anything that will trigger me, it's someone wasting my time. Feels like they're stealing my most precious resource." —@PicoRascar

nose hair, nose hair, hair in nose, waxing hair, nosehairs Waxing Hair Removal GIF Giphy

"As a male. The crazy ear and nose hairs that grow." —@Mikethemechanic00

"Late sixties. ....something about aging no one warned about? sounds like it's gotta be something bad. I wasn't warned about how independent, footloose and fancy free I'd feel once all work and family commitments and obligations were fulfilled. And I can be cantankerous whenever I wanna be. Most folks get warned about long term health consequences but it is difficult to overcome the insidious long-term ill-health consequences of commercial, corporate, processed, fast food pressures and convenience. way too much is spent on consequences of poor health and not enough on prevention and education --- imho." —@Buzzhoops

"The sensitivity. I have always been a very sensitive person who feels things deeply. But I'm also GenX so calloused, but lord a mercy if middle-age hasn't turned me into a crybaby. I swear I never used to cry so much." —@earthgarden

cry, sensitive, feelings, emotional, tears Sad Cry GIF by SpongeBob SquarePants Giphy

"That regularly putting money into savings or a retirement account is as important as brushing your teeth every day." —@InternalAcrobatic216

"When you hear a song or band from your youth that you absolutely hated because they were so cheesy and god-awful bad, but now when you hear it.. it brings back smiles and memories…. that’s the cleansing power of Nostalgia!" —@Hillman314

This article originally appeared in June.

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