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Love Stories

​'Love on the Spectrum'​s Abbey writes the most heartfelt song and fans are in tears

"Heart just turned into a puddle and stayed there."

Photo by Anna Kolosyuk on Unsplash

This song is melting hearts everywhere.

It began in Australia. Producer Karina Holden, alongside director Cian O'Clery, had seen many dating shows and wanted to make something unique and heartfelt, geared entirely toward men and women on the autism spectrum.

O'Clery got the idea after working on a documentary about people with disabilities seeking employment. Screen Rant writer Christine Persaud shares, "After working on the Australian documentary series Employable Me, which shed light on how having a disability should not make someone unemployable, he came across an interesting and unexpected piece of information."

Holden tells Forbes Australia, "It took a long time to convince a public broadcaster [ABC] that this dating show would be done in a unique and authentic way and that there was a real public service value to the series because it spoke about people who are often marginalized and misunderstood."

But they, with Northern Pictures Productions, persevered, and the show was so well-received that it got a second season. Netflix picked it up to share with other countries around the world. From there, a U.S. version was born, airing its first season in 2022 and its most recent season just last week.

In their quest to cast vulnerable and lovable people—truly opening their lives to the examination of love and even heartbreak—the co-creators and producers exceeded expectations. Each season, the cast members (often recurring) allow cameras to follow them, their families, their dates, laughter, and tears. They're also assigned dating coaches/therapists to tenderly address some of the specific issues that come with being on the spectrum in terms of communication, perception, and processing.

It's a learning experience for the daters, their families, and the audience. And more than that, it's a downright joy. We get the honor of watching people express their purest desire—the one most every single person has on earth: to find love.

We watch two of the daters, Abbey and David, go from shy introductions all the way to traveling the world together. And this season, Abbey treats us to a song she wrote specifically for him. With lyrics like "You're the lion to my lioness" (Abbey loves lions!), "The milk to my chardonnay. My Prince Charming doesn't bring me flowers; he knows I'd rather have Gummy Bears any day," David, and their respective families, gasp, as they're so deeply overjoyed.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

And the fans are too. It's posted on X with the caption: "You're not emotionally prepared for Abbey's song to David." A commenter replies, "Heart just turned into a puddle and stayed there." They're not wrong. It's climbing quickly in likes on TikTok, with fans feeling emotional. One points out, "Hard to believe she was once nonverbal. Sweetest thing I've ever seen." Over on YouTube, the comment section is also filled with people sharing that they were moved to tears. One writes, "Can’t lie, this made me cry like a baby, and I absolutely did not expect that to happen."

One person has compliments for their families: "Can we just say that the parents who have raised these amazing kids into young adults are beyond amazing, and we are inspired by their journeys." Another shares a common thread: "It is SO special witnessing Abbey and David's most beautiful love for one another. A true-life princess and prince fairytale!"

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How an early autism diagnosis 'made all the difference' for one boy

via Tony Hernandez

Tony Hernandez as a child in Puerto Rico and today as an advocate for people with autism.

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When Tony Hernandez Pumarejo was a young child growing up in Puerto Rico in the early ‘90s, his family felt there was something “different” about him. At the age of three, when most children are uttering full sentences, Tony did not speak.

Tony’s family sought out more information regarding their son, but they received conflicting opinions about his condition. Teachers asserted that there wasn’t much hope for Tony’s future, with one telling his mother that he was “never going to do anything in life.”

“There was a lack of education, there is still to this day, especially in the Hispanic community, about autism,” Tony told Upworthy. “Stereotypes and other misconceptions are obstacles many families face in seeking answers, making it difficult to get the help and resources we need.”

Finally, Tony’s family found a doctor who diagnosed him with autism spectrum disorder (ASD). The diagnosis was a huge relief for them because it meant he could finally get the correct therapies and enroll in special education classes.

According to Psychology Research and Behavior Management, early diagnosis and treatment with evidence-based interventions “can significantly improve the quality of life of individuals with ASD as well as of their caregivers and families,” as it lays a strong foundation for better outcomes and will help a child improve mentally, emotionally, physically, and socially.


via Tony Hernandez

After obtaining the proper diagnosis, Tony received speech therapy from the ages of four to eight, and over the course of his lifetime, received vital support and assistance from teachers and therapists.

“Getting the right therapies was crucial in improving my verbal skills. I still faced a number of challenges over the years, including struggles with social communication, short-term working memory, anxiety disorder, and building relationships,” he said, “but an early diagnosis made all the difference in my life.”

In 2012, at the age of 21, Tony moved to Florida where his mom was living.

Since then, Tony has excelled in academics and professionally. He graduated from Seminole State College with a bachelor's degree in Business and Information Management with Magna Cum Laude honors.

MY GRADUATION FROM COLLEGE: DECEMBER 14TH 2016www.youtube.com

Tony has worked in customer service for companies such as Sherwin Williams, Sam’s Club, and Home Depot and has been a tireless advocate for people with ASD for the past decade. He’s also regularly appeared on Univision Orlando for the past two years where he hosts a segment called “Tu Proposito” which in English translates to “Your Intention” and delves into the obstacles people on the spectrum regularly encounter and how they can rise above them.

Additionally, Tony is an accomplished author who released his memoir, “An Autism Unscripted Life,” in 2018, which was translated into Spanish in 2019 as “Una Vida Autista Sin Libreto.” In his free time, Tony loves to go hiking, explore new places, attend church, and exercise. He is currently working on putting together a 1,000-piece “Star Wars” puzzle.

Tony now works full time for Autism Speaks, a non-profit organization dedicated to supporting the needs of individuals with autism and their families, as a member of their Autism Response Team where he helps to support people with ASD and their families.

Although it probably seemed impossible at the time, the young kid in Puerto Rico who had a hard time finding his words would flourish into an in-demand public speaker in both English and Spanish. Tony regularly does presentations for schools, businesses, and other community organizations on the topics of autism, disability rights, and neurodiversity.

He believes that being diagnosed early played a huge role in his success.

“I was fortunate to have been able to get an early diagnosis. It led me to getting the support I needed to overcome challenges in the early years of development in my life,” Tony told Upworthy.

Learning that your child has ASD can be daunting at first. However, there is nothing more fulfilling as a parent, than to experience and support your child in reaching their full potential.

“An autism diagnosis can trigger feelings of panic and uncertainty for many families,” Tony told Upworthy, “but it is important for parents to take a deep breath and focus on the next steps to take to help their child achieve a better life."

Tony lives by a simple, but powerful motto, “Each person has a purpose in this world. Never give up on achieving your dreams.”

If you have questions about your child’s development, Autism Speaks offers access to a free Modified Checklist for Autism in Toddlers (M-CHAT-R) test on its website. The test can help assess whether your child needs further evaluation, bringing them one step closer to unlocking their full potential and realizing their dreams.

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Mom shares a heartwarming photo of the school custodian comforting her autistic daughter

via Hollie Bellew-Shaw / Facebook

For those of us who are not on the spectrum, it can be hard to perceive the world through the senses of someone with autism.

"You could think of a person with autism as having an imbalanced set of senses," Stephen Shore, assistant professor in the School of Education at Adelphi University, told Web MD.

"Some senses may be turned up too high and some turned down too low. As a result, the data that comes in tends to be distorted, and it's very hard to perceive a person's environment accurately," Shore continued.

People without autism are good at filtering out unnecessary sensory information and remaining focused on what's happening around them.

"But when a person with autism walks into the room, he notices things that aren't as relevant – the sound coming from outside the window, a pattern in the carpet, a flickering light bulb," Geraldine Dawson, PhD, chief science officer for the education and advocacy group Autism Speaks, told Web MD.

RELATED: Snow White soothing a boy having an 'autism meltdown' will make you believe in Disney magic

Ms. Esther, a custodian at Passmore Elementary in Alvin, Texas, is the perfect example of someone who understands the autism spectrum and backs it up with unbelievable heart.

Hollie Bellew-Shaw's daughter, Kenlee, who has autism, was overwhelmed by the loud noise in the school cafeteria so she went on the stage to lay down. Ms. Esther saw Kenlee lying there so she laid down next to her to comfort her.

"Our school custodian is literally the best, sweetest individual in the world," Bellew-Shaw wrote on Facebook. "[Kenlee] wanted no part of being in the cafeteria this morning with all the noise so she laid down with her blanket on the stage. When Ms. Esther saw her she came and laid next to her and patted her back."

RELATED: How a United Airlines crew handled an autistic 4-yr-old's meltdown is pure human excellence

"All schools should be so lucky to have their own Angel on campus. Feel free to share so she can get all the appreciation and thanks she totally deserves," Bellew-Shaw wrote. The mom finished the post by adding several emojis and a puzzle piece — the symbol for autism awareness.

This school district reposed the photo saying, "This goes to show you that a kind word, a hug and a little compassion are all it takes to make a huge difference in a child's life," it wrote.

According to the Centers for Disease Control, the number of children with autism is on the rise. This story is a great reminder for all of us to do what we can to learn more about this disorder so we can provide the best comfort for people like Kenlee when they feel overwhelmed.

Learn more at Autism Speaks

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A major autism advocacy org just gave up on finding a cure. That's great news.

There's a notable absence in Autism Speaks' new official mission statement.

The country's largest nonprofit for autism advocacy removed any language that made autism sound like an illness or disease.

Gone is the reference to autism as an "urgent global health crisis," and funding research toward a cure is no longer a priority. In fact, there's not even any mention of "hardship" or "struggle" anymore.

Now, their first objective is "promoting solutions." Their updated mission statement — which went into effect in late September 2016 and was the first change since the organization was founded in 2005 — focuses instead on things like "support" and "understanding" and "acceptance."

Photo by Mircea Restea/AFP/Getty Images.

It might sound strange that a massive nonprofit organization committed to autism spectrum disorder is no longer searching for a cure.

But the truth is that people with autism often live happy, healthy lives. This doesn't mean life isn't frustrating for people on the spectrum or for families and friends of people with autism, of course. But for those 1 in 68 people who fall on the spectrum of autism disorder just because their brains work differently doesn't mean they don't work.

In fact, some companies actively seek applicants with autism in hopes of harnessing the cognitive qualities that make them unique. This demonstrates a larger shift toward viewing autism as a set of functional behaviors rather than a problem or disorder that needs to be "solved."

(This is also why some people with autism prefer to be called "autistic people," too, as a way to embrace something they consider to be an central part of them.)

"Autism is here to stay and may be considered a part of the diversity of the human gene pool," said Dr. Stephen Shore in an interview with Huffington Post.

Shore is the one of the first people with autism to join the board of directors at Autism Speaks along with Dr. Valerie Paradiz, who was appointed at the same time.

The organization's founders were actually the grandparents of a man with autism. And however well-intentioned they may have been, they've faced a lot of criticism and controversy over the years due in part to the fact that they were making decisions about how to spend their $60 million dollar budget without any real buy-in from the people they were purporting to help. (They also promoted the oft-debunked vaccine connection until as recently as 2009.)

"After ten years of telling us 'it’s time to listen,' Autism Speaks now visibly listening to people on the autism spectrum is a very good sign," Shore said in an interview with The Art of Autism.

Dr. Stephen Shore. Photo by Cindy Ord/Getty Images for Autism Speaks.

This shift toward more support-oriented language is just one small step in a major organizational transition.

There are certainly some skeptics when it comes to the changes Autism Speaks is making, too. And to be fair, the executive director of Autism Speaks, Megan Hoffman, was still talking about a "cure" as recently as October 7, 2016. So even though the official language has shifted in a better direction, it'll still take some work to change the organization's internal culture to go along with this new mission.

But if Autism Speaks can find a way use their vast funding and connections in a way that actually works, it could make a huge difference for people with autism and their families across the country.

Because neurodiversity means more minds put together — and even better things can come from that.

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