Someone told this mom she should stick to one-piece bathing suits. She wasn't having it.
Any new mom can tell you taking a baby to the pool can be pretty stressful. The last thing you need is input from strangers about how you look in a bikini.
But that's exactly what happened to Lexi Sinclair who, while cooling off at the pool with her son Christian, had a strange and jarring interaction.
According to Lexi, an older woman came up to her while she was rubbing sunscreen on her son (every parent's favorite activity!) and, after some small talk, suggested maybe Lexi ought to stick with wearing a one-piece bathing suit for a while, as her body is still "recovering."
Lexi says the woman told her that "the men at the pool would feel more comfortable if I was in a one-piece swim suit because a bikini isn't appropriate for a mother."
Lexi kept a cool head and delivered a polite but brilliant retort. She later recapped the exchange on Facebook for the world to see:
So today I took my 4 month old son to the pool. While putting Christians pool hat on, a woman (maybe mid 50s) comes up...
Posted by Lexi Sinclair on Tuesday, August 2, 2016
Here's the full text of Lexi's post:
So today I took my 4 month old son to the pool. While putting Christians pool hat on, a woman (maybe mid 50s) comes up and makes conversation with me about Christian. Asking me his age, how much he weighs, how he sleeps, etc.
She then proceeded to tell me that the men at the pool would feel more comfortable if I was in a one-piece swim suit because a bikini isn't appropriate for a mother, especially one who's "still recovering." Anyone who knows me knows I had a few words for this crazy, ballsy woman.
But instead I just smiled, kissed my son and told her, "I'm proud of my body. In just one year I've gained 50 pounds, and lost 37. I've grown a human and given birth to a beautiful miracle. My body provided food for my child. So, no, my body might not be the best sight for other men to see. My stretch marks and tummy pudge might not be sexy. But they're proof that I've done something amazing, and I have a man that loves me and finds me even sexier and more beautiful now. To be honest, I don't give a tiny rats ass what other men, or a prissy twit like you think. Have a nice day though."
The response to Lexi's story has been massive, and it's a great reminder that looking and feeling beautiful has nothing to do with what strangers think.
Lexi says the response — over 24,000 shares and counting — has been completely unexpected. And while some of the comments have been rude and out of place (hey, this is still the internet we're talking about), her story has resonated positively with a lot of people.
"I've gotten responses from both ends of the spectrum. Everything from women telling me how much I've inspired them and men telling me its made them appreciate their wives even more," she said in an email.
"I just want other mommies to remember that it's all about how you see yourself, not how others see you. We're supposed to be raising our children to love themselves no matter what, and that should start with us."
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."