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Sharks. Living inside a volcano. If this was a movie, it'd be 'Shark-cano.' But it's real.

There comes a time in all of our lives when we must admit the tragic truth: Sharknados are not real.

Sharks rain from the sky like teardrops from my eyes. GIF from "Sharknado 2."


Neither are Sharktopuses or Mega Shark and Mecha Shark or any other such fantastical creatures of SyFy Original Movie fame — except for two-headed sharks (which could arguably occur as natural mutations) and avalanche sharks (which, with climate change, you never know).

It's OK. It can be difficult accept the harrowing reality of our CGI-monster-less lives.

But dry your eyes, brave soldier! For hope has risen like a phoenix from the fiery depths of the South Pacific....

GIF from "Sharknado 2."

Scientists recently discovered a certain sharp-toothed surprise while exploring an active underwater volcano.

That's right. Underwater volcano.

Oceanographer (and National Geographic Society/Waitts Grant recipient) Brennan Phillips led an expedition into the South Pacific to learn more about Kavachi, a submarine volcano near the Solomon Islands that was actively spewing as recently as 2014.

Phillips and his team knew that the summit was somewhere around 100 feet below sea level and that it was capable of shooting plumes of magma nearly a quarter-mile into the air, forming temporary islands on the ocean's surface.

But no one had ever explored Kavachi up close before. They wanted to learn more.

A submarine volcano erupting. GIF via Smithsonian Ocean Portal.

Unfortunately, it's hard to study underwater volcanos. 'Cause, ya know. Underwater. And also volcano.

They sent underwater cameras to look inside the crater and discovered that Kavachi wasn't the only thing that was active.

There were vol-crab-nos...

GIF via National Geographic/YouTube.

...and lava-rays...

They were calling it a "sixgill stingray." But we all know the truth. GIF via National Geographic/YouTube.

And f---ing SHARK-CANOS!

THE RARE MAGMATIC HAMMERHEAD. GIF via National Geographic/YouTube.

That's right, I said shark-canos. As in plural, baby.

This one's called a "silky shark," and frankly, I don't blame him for hanging out in a submarine volcano because shark-cano is waaaaaaaaaay more badass than "silky shark." GIF via National Geographic/YouTube.

Yes, these hyper-evolved geo-aquatic mutant hybrids are real. But that's ... about the only thing we know about them.

"These large animals are living in what you have to assume is much hotter and much more acidic water, and they’re just hanging out,” Phillips said. "What sort of changes have they undergone? Are there only certain animals that can withstand it? [...] Do they get an early warning and escape the caldera before it gets explosive, or do they get trapped and perish in steam and lava?

While we have yet to witness any shark-canos riding like rockets out of the ocean on geysers made of molten rock, we have discovered their one major weakness:

It's us.

Shark attacks against humans are incredibly rarewe're talking maybe 30 a year, 40 tops. You've got about a 1 in 11.5 million chance of experiencing your very own "Jaws" encounter.

That's not at all. There has not been a single record instance of a shark-cano attack in the entirety of human history. This is likely due to the fact that it's hard for living people to make it 200 feet underwater into the belly of a volcano, but still.

For the most part, sharks are all like:

GIF from "Super Bowl XLIX Halftime Show."

and then us humans are all like:

GIF from "Snakes on a Plane," which isn't technically a SyFy Original Movie, but still counts in terms of absurd animal-based B-movies.

Humans kill more than 100 million sharks every year. It's gotten to the point where 1 in 4 shark species are endangered.

If the tables were turned, you'd be hiding in a volcano too.

There's a much better chance of survival down there, which when you think about it, is really saying something.

To enjoy these magnificent creatures in all their glory, check out National Geographic's full video of the real-life shark-cano discovery:

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ACUVUE launches a new campaign to inspire Gen Z to put down their phones and follow their vision

What will you create on your social media break? Share it at #MyVisionMySight.

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If you’ve always lived in a world with social media, it can be tough to truly understand how it affects your life. One of the best ways to grasp its impact is to take a break to see what life is like without being tethered to your phone and distracted by a constant stream of notifications.

Knowing when to disconnect is becoming increasingly important as younger people are becoming aware of the adverse effects screen time can have on their eyes. According to Eyesafe Nielsen, adults are now spending 13-plus hours a day on their digital devices, a 35% increase from 2019.1. Many of us now spend more time staring at screens on a given day than we do sleeping which can impact our eye health.

Normally, you blink around 15 times per minute, however, focusing your eyes on computer screens or other digital displays have been shown to reduce your blink rate by up to 60%.2 Reduced blinking can destabilize your eyes’ tear film, causing dry, tired eyes and blurred vision.3

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Joy

18-year-old took her college savings and bought the restaurant where she was a dishwasher

Samantha Frye, the newest owner of Rosalie's restaurant, is proving there's more than one way to invest in your future.

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There are many way to invest in your future

Eighteen year old Samantha Frye has traded college life for entrepreneurship, and she has no regrets.

Frye began working at Rosalie's Restaurant in Strasburg, Ohio at 16 as a dishwasher, working up the ranks as a kitchen prep, server, then line cook. All while working a second job, sometimes third job.

After graduating high school, Frye started college at Ohio State with plans of studying business or environmental engineering. But when she came back to work a shift at Rosalie’s for winter break, an opportunity arose—the owners had planned to sell the restaurant.
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Pop Culture

Man rewatches shows from his childhood and his recaps of the bonkers storylines are priceless

Rob Anderson's hilarious recaps of shows like "Mighty Ducks," "Beethoven," and "7th Heaven" might make you wonder how they got made in the first place.

@hearthrobert/TikTok

These plots makes zero sense.

While there are no doubt some timeless classics from our childhood that remain every bit as amazing as we remember, many are straight-up cringey upon a later viewing. Really, it’s to be expected as societal viewpoints change…sort of a marker of how far we’ve collectively come.

And so, what do we do with these problematic pieces of old-school pop culture? Well, we can certainly update them to better reflect a more modern attitude, but that also comes with a set of potential problems. Or we could simply never watch them again. Certainly an option given all the content out there. But then we might miss an opportunity to better understand what seemed to work for the mainstream then, and why it doesn’t work now.

And then there’s the third option—allow ourselves to be entertained by their cringiness.

That’s certainly the route taken by Rob Anderson. Over on TikTok, Anderson has taken ultra-popular movies and television shows from his childhood and given them hilarious recaps capturing how absurd some of the storylines are.
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@Steve_Perrault/Twitter

Some moments never get old.

On November 19, 1999, a man named John Carpenter made game show history and quite possibly gave us all the greatest game show moment of all time.

Carpenter was a contestant on the very first season of “Who Wants to be a Millionaire” shot in America. Hosted by the late Regis Philbin, the quiz show featured three "lifeline" options to help them with difficult questions, the most popular being able to “Phone-a-Friend.”

Carpenter had impressively not used a single lifeline for any of his questions. That is, until question 15. The million-dollar question, to be exact.

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Joy

Woman decides that she is the love of her life and marries herself at her retirement home

“I said, you know what, I’ve done everything else. Why not?”

77-year-old woman decides she's the love of her life and marries herself.

We joke about marrying ourselves or a platonic friend if some arbitrary amount of time has passed without a proposal from an imaginary suitor. And sure, some people do wind up marrying a friend in more of a business arrangement, but it's not very common that someone follows through with marrying themselves.

Dorothy "Dottie" Fideli, decided that she was going to break the mold. The 77-year-old sat down and thought about all of the things she had done in life and who was with her the entire time cheering her on. It was an easy answer: herself. She was her biggest cheerleader, the person who always showed up and the love of her life, so Fideli made the plan to marry herself.

On a beautiful May day, friends and family gathered in the O’Bannon Terrace Retirement Community, where Fideli is a resident, to witness the ceremony.

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12-year-old Texas girl saves her family from carbon monoxide poisoning

She knew something was wrong with her mom and brother, which wound up saving her whole family.

Fort Worth 12-year-old helps save family from carbon monoxide poisoning.

Carbon monoxide is called a silent killer for a reason. Many people don't realize they're experiencing carbon monoxide poisoning before it's too late. The gas is colorless and odorless and tends to have a sedating effect that causes people to sleep through the fatal poisoning. Having carbon monoxide detectors is one of the most effective ways to identify the gas before it's too late to get out of the house, but not every home has one.

A little girl in Fort Worth, Texas, experienced a terrifying encounter with the deadly gas, but her quick actions saved her entire family. Jaziyah Parker is being held up as a hero after she realized something was wrong with her family members and called for help.

The girl called 911 after she noticed her mom pass out. On the call with the dispatcher, Jaziyah says she thinks her mother has died before explaining that there was something now wrong with her baby brother, who was just 5-months-old.

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Drew Barrymore speaks during the FLOWER Beauty launch at Westfield Parramatta on April 13, 2019, in Sydney, Australia.

Drew Barrymore, 48, has been in the public consciousness since she starred as Gertie in 1982’s mega-blockbuster, “E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial,” a performance that earned her an Oscar nomination for Best Supporting Actress. So, it makes sense that many people of a certain age feel as if they’ve grown up with her.

Barrymore has consistently starred in hit films and movies that are rewatchable cable-TV staples, such as “Charlie's Angels” (2000), “Never Been Kissed” (1999), “Scream” (1996), “The Wedding Singer” (1998), “50 First Dates” (2004) and “Fever Pitch” (2005).

Now, she’s an even more significant part of people’s lives as the host of “The Drew Barrymore Show,” which runs every weekday on CBS. So far, the show has been a big success, attracting an average of 1.21 million views per show, and ranks as the #4 talk show in syndication. It was recently renewed through the 2024 season.

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