For the parents in the room: Do you remember what it was like when your baby first came into your life?
Love. Nothing but love. GIF from "Supernatural."
Amazing, right? But then the worry sets in.
Outside of the typical concerns about finances and child development, parents worry about their own health. And rightfully so. Almost half (45%) of the adults in the U.S. are managing at least one chronic health condition.
As a dad with two young daughters, I feel the need to be as healthy as I can be for them, but oftentimes it's a struggle.
With that in mind, I asked five parents how have having kids affected their approach to health and wellness.
1. Rebecca feels she owes it to her youngest son to live a long, healthy life.
Rebecca had her first child when she was a teenager and her fourth and last child when she was 30.
Rebecca (black sweater) and her four kids. Photo from Rebecca, used with permission.
Let's be clear that 30 shouldn't be considered "old" by anyone's standards. But more women than ever are choosing to have children later in life. For Rebecca's 12-year-old son, that was a problem.
"My youngest has been expressing his anger toward me that I had him so much later than his siblings," Rebecca said. "He's worried that I won't be around for him as long as his brothers and sisters will."
As a single mom, that made her aware of her own mortality. "Every decision I make now is to be as healthy as possible so I can be there for all of my kids for as long as I can."
2. Jake started cutting back on his working hours.
Jake is a father of two young boys and he used to work really long hours at his job at a Los Angeles law firm. Yeah, he made really good money, but that salary came at a steep price. He was always tired and stressed — and his sons noticed it.
"I would snap at my kids for the smallest things," Jake told Upworthy. "I could feel that they were becoming uncomfortable around me, and that's the last thing I wanted."
It's not surprising to see many Americans working into the wee hours of the night.
It's hardly a secret that Americans are extremely overworked. The average full-time employee now works 47 hours in a five-day work week. Additionally, almost half of full-time employees work at least 50 hours a week.
Jake knew his job was taking a toll on his health and his relationship with his kids, so he found a new employer that allowed him to spend more time with his family. Yes, he makes significantly less money now, but he's healthier mentally and emotionally than he's ever been.
"I have a real relationship with my kids now and I'm happy," he said. "You can't put a price tag on that."
3. Sheila learned that while nutrition and exercise are important, they're not everything.
Before having her kids, Sheila admits that she wanted to control everything in her life. Without fail, she ensured that each day included three square meals and two snacks — in addition to exercising.
But when she became a mom, things changed.
Now that she's a mom, Sheila sees the bigger picture. Photo from Sheila, used with permission.
"As a mom, I realized that loving and living is much more important than exact measurements of food and supplements," Sheila said. "I took a step back because as I watched my kids grow, I was able to witness the awesomeness of the human body."
Sure, she still eats well and exercises — but she's not going to flip out over skipping a meal or a workout like she used to. The big picture is way more important than the small stuff in her world.
4. Dan uses a simple reminder to keep himself focused on the big picture.
Dan still misses his dad. He hopes his children won't miss him for similar reasons. GIF from Fodada, used with permission.
When Dan was in college, his dad passed away from a fatal heart attack. He was only 55 years old.
"I would do anything to have him around," Dan said. "Being a dad myself now, it just reminds me how important it is to be there [for my kids]."
Then Dan found Fodada, an apparel company catering to dads that runs a "Red Beanie Bond" campaign providing red beanies to newborn babies.
This beanie is way more than a fashion statement. Photo courtesy of Fodada, used with permission.
These aren't just cute accessories. Putting one on a newborn's head symbolizes a promise that dads will do whatever it takes to live healthy lives for the sake of the little ones who depend on them.
"The moment you put this on your baby, you should understand that the decisions you made for your life and your health for all of the previous years of your life change," Dan said. "All of your decisions should be for this little beanie and who it goes on."
5. Emily taught herself to stop worrying so much.
Kids can be unpredictable and wild. Own it. Photo from iStock.
Emily, a mom of four, probably put it best of all.
"If you want to have ice cream for dinner one night, do it. If your kid skips a nap, get over it," she said. "I believe that worrying about every little thing makes us so unhealthy that we can't focus on what's important — which is being there for our kids."
12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.