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2023 Mother's Day gift guide helps you celebrate moms in style

If you’re looking for the perfect Mother's Day gifts for the incredible moms in your life, we've got you covered.

Gift ideas collage: pajamas, candles, jewelry, mug, clock, and more on a purple background.

Editor's Note: Upworthy earns a percentage of revenue from items purchased on this list.


Mother's Day is just around the corner, and it's time to get shopping. And if you’re looking for the perfect Mother's Day gifts for the incredible moms in your life, we've got you covered! Our curated selection of thoughtful and unique presents will make any mom feel special and loved. From cozy pajama sets and smart mugs to personalized pet jewelry and heartfelt books, these gifts cater to a variety of interests and preferences. Our handpicked choices are the perfect way to express your gratitude and love.


RENPHO Eye Massager

White Renpho eye massager with gray trim on a purple cloudy background.

Treat your mom to the ultimate relaxation experience with the RENPHO Eye Massager. This cutting-edge device uses built-in heating pads to provide a soothing temperature between 104 and 107 degrees Fahrenheit, helping to relax the skin around the eyes. Its oscillating pressure and rhythmic percussion massaging further enhance the calming effect, making it perfect for unwinding before bedtime or after a long day at work. The 180° adjustable and portable design ensures a comfortable fit for all users and makes it easy to take on the go. To create an even more immersive experience, the eye massager features Bluetooth customizable music, allowing users to play their own playlists.

$52 on Amazon

La Chatelaine Hand Cream Trio Tin Gift Set

Floral hand cream gift set on a pastel purple background.

Pamper your mom this Mother's Day with the luxurious La Chatelaine Hand Cream Trio Tin Gift Set, a favorite of customers around the world, including Oprah. This beautifully designed set features three one fl. oz. tubes of hand cream formulated with 20% organic Shea Butter, Vitamin E, and Argan Oil for deep moisturizing, nourishment, and protection. Made with plant-based ingredients, La Chatelaine's cruelty-free hand creams are free from phthalates, SLS, parabens, GMOs, and BHT, making them an excellent choice for daily use.

$29 on Amazon

Mother's Day Candles

Soy wax candle labeled "Best Mom Ever!" on a pastel watercolor background.

Show your mom how much you care with this beautiful "I Love You Mom" candle. It’s the perfect gift for Mother's Day or any special occasion. Scented with calming lavender and sage, this 9oz candle creates a soothing atmosphere that any mom will adore. Featuring a crackling wooden wick, the candle offers a unique touch and fills the room with a comforting ambiance. Handmade with 100% soy wax, this stylish candle is free from harmful chemicals and additives, making it an ideal gift for environmentally conscious moms. Made in the USA, each candle is hand-poured in small batches to ensure quality and perfection.

$15 on Amazon

Ray-Ban Women's Rb1971 Square Sunglasses

Square sunglasses with gold frames on a purple watercolor background.

Elevate your mom's style with these iconic Ray-Ban RB1971 Square Classic sunglasses. Crafted from high-quality metal, these sunglasses are both stylish but durable. Designed with 100% UV protection, the lenses will shield your mom's eyes from harmful rays while offering a clear and comfortable view. The scratch-resistant glass lenses are prescription-ready, making them a practical and fashionable choice.

$146 on Amazon

NewMe Fitness Yoga Mat

Green yoga mat with illustrated poses, each labeled with names, on a purple background.

Featuring 70 printed yoga poses, this non-slip exercise mat offers guidance for beginners and seasoned practitioners alike. Made from durable, BPA-free, and phthalate-free PVC padding, the mat is moisture-wicking, making it ideal for hot yoga or sweaty workouts. The NewMe Fitness Yoga Mat is 5mm thick and 68 inches long and provides ample space for stretching, posing, and working out, ensuring comfort and stability during practice. Suitable for yogis of all levels, this mat makes a thoughtful and practical gift for moms looking to improve their practice and overall well-being.

$49 on Amazon

Cloud Massage Shiatsu Foot Massager Machine

Give mom the gift of relaxation and rejuvenation with the Cloud Massage Shiatsu Foot Massager Machine. Designed to increase blood flow circulation and provide deep kneading, this versatile machine offers heat therapy for deep tissue relief, making it perfect for those suffering from plantar fasciitis, diabetics, or neuropathy. The adjustable base allows users to comfortably target their feet, ankles, or calves, ensuring a customized massage experience. With three intensity levels and five massage modes, including rolling massage, compression therapy, sway function, and heat therapy, this foot massager caters to individual preferences and needs.

$251 on Amazon

SZELAM Digital Alarm Clock, LED

Upgrade your mom's bedside table with the multifunctional SZELAM Digital Alarm Clock, featuring a makeup mirror, alarm clock, and time display. The high-definition mirror display allows for convenient makeup application while keeping an eye on the time. Designed with a mirror surface that resists staining, it's easy to clean and maintain. The clock can be positioned upright, flat, or hung on the wall to suit any preference. Boasting a quiet design that won't disturb sleep, it also features a luminous function for easy nighttime viewing without turning on the lights. And for heavy sleepers, the snooze button provides an additional 5-60 minutes of rest, customizable to individual needs.

$25 on Amazon

Eberjey Women's Gisele Long PJ Set

Indulge in the luxurious comfort of the Eberjey Women's Gisele Long PJ Set, designed with sublimely soft stretch jersey fabric that feels divine against your skin. Available in solid hues, this phenomenal sleepwear set offers both style and relaxation for a restful night's sleep. The long-sleeve top features a rounded notched collar, chest patch pocket, button front closure, and front button placket, all adorned with beautiful contrast piping for a touch of sophistication. The pajama pants have a lower rise and relaxed leg, ensuring comfort, while the covered elastic waistband and cute contrast bow at the center waist add a charming detail. Made from a blend of 95% modal and 5% spandex, this high-quality set is airy, cozy, water-absorbent, and durable, providing easy and unrestricted mobility throughout the night.

$138 on Amazon

Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug 2

This innovative mug makes an ideal gift for mom, ensuring every sip of her favorite drink is enjoyed at the perfect temperature. The Ember Temperature Control Smart Mug 2 is a 10 oz, rose gold coffee mug that maintains your drink's temperature between 120°F - 145°F for up to 80 minutes on a full charge or all day when placed on its redesigned charging coaster. Enjoy the convenience of app-controlled customization, or simply use the mug without the app, as it remembers your last-used temperature (135°F out of the box). The smart mug's auto sleep feature intelligently senses when to turn on and off, activating sleep mode when empty or after 2 hours of inactivity, and waking up upon sensing movement or liquid.

$143 on Amazon

ZIMASILK 100% Mulberry Silk Pillowcase for Hair and Skin Health

This year, let mom indulge in the luxury of the ZIMASILK 100% Mulberry Silk Pillowcase, designed for optimal hair and skin health. Crafted from the highest grade 6A organic silk, this pillowcase boasts a 600 thread count and features both sides constructed from 19 momme Grade 6A mulberry silk. Unlike satin and other petroleum-based imitations, this eco-friendly, hypoallergenic silk pillowcase is gentle on your skin and hair, minimizing morning lines, wrinkles, acne, and hair breakage. With its amino acids, it effectively stimulates your skin cells' metabolism, ensuring a nourishing and rejuvenating sleep experience.

$30 on Amazon

Beats Fit Pro x Kim Kardashian – True Wireless Noise Cancelling Earbuds

Upgrade you mom’s listening experience with Kim Kardashian's Beats Fit Pro collection, featuring true wireless noise cancelling earbuds in three neutral shades that complement any outfit or activity. These earbuds offer a flexible wingtip design for all-day comfort and stability, along with a custom acoustic platform that delivers powerful, balanced sound. Immerse yourself in music, movies, and games with Spatial Audio and dynamic head tracking, and enjoy Active Noise Cancelling, Transparency Mode, and Adaptive EQ for personalized listening. Powered by the Apple H1 chip, these earbuds support Automatic Switching, Audio Sharing, and "Hey Siri" functionality.

$164 on Amazon

HP Sprocket Portable 2x3" Instant Photo Printer

Capture and print cherished memories instantly with the HP Sprocket Portable 2x3" Instant Photo Printer in Blush. Designed for iOS 10+ and Android 5+ devices, this compact, wireless printer connects via Bluetooth 5.0, allowing you to print 2"x3" photos directly from your smartphone or social media accounts. Utilizing ZINK Zero Ink technology, the Sprocket eliminates the need for costly toner or ribbon replacements. At the same time, the glossy sticky-backed photo paper boasts incredible resistance to water, smudges, and tears. You can also personalize your photos with the free HP app's editing tools.

$80 on Amazon

Bronzing Self Tanning Drops

Put your mom’s skincare routine into overdrive with + Lux Unfiltered N°12 Bronzing Self Tanning Drops. They’re designed to provide a natural, customizable, and glowing tan all year round. Infused with hyaluronic acid, pomegranate extract, coconut water, passion fruit oil, and vitamin E, these fragrance-free tanning drops not only bronze your complexion but also keep it hydrated and radiant. Suitable for all skin types and packed with antioxidants, the vegan, cruelty-free, and gluten-free formula is free from harsh ingredients like parabens, paraffins, phthalates, sulfates, and silicones. To use, simply add the desired number of drops to your moisturizer, mix, and apply to clean skin for a tan that's as subtle or deep as you like.

$44 on Amazon

‘Knock Knock’ What I Love About Mom Fill in the Love Book

Celebrate your mom with the Knock Knock What I Love about Mom Fill in the Love BookKnock Knock What I Love about Mom Fill in the Love Book, a charming and unique 4.5 x 3.25-inch fill-in-the-blank gift journal designed to express your appreciation. Complete each line in the book to create a personal and heartfelt gift your mother will treasure and revisit time and time again. Whether you choose to make it hilarious, honest, or emotional, this journal serves as a memorable Mother's Day gift from kids of all ages.

$10 on Amazon

Custom Pet Jewelry

Showcase your mom’s love for her furry friends with personalized custom pet jewelry. This unique 0.7-inch diameter pet photo disc, featuring a sketchy-style portrait of your pet's face and their name underneath, is accompanied by a 17.5-inch chain. As a long-lasting, tarnish-resistant piece, it's perfect for everyday wear and keeps your beloved pet close to your heart. Ideal as a heartfelt gift for Mother's Day, the necklace comes in a cute box for easy storage or gifting.

$29 on Amazon

So why wait? Make this Mother's Day truly special for the incredible moms in your life. Give the gift of joy and make lasting memories with these unique, thoughtful Mother's Day gifts.

ideas, homelessness, prodigy, social work, solutions
Photo credit: @ribalzebian on Instagram

Ribal Zebian is going to test a house he designed by living in it for a year.

Ribal Zebian, a student from the city of London in Ontario, Canada, already made headlines last year when he built an electric car out of wood and earned a $120,000 scholarship from it. Now, he's in the news again for something a little different. Concerned with homelessness in his hometown, Zebian got to work creating a different kind of affordable housing made from fiberglass material. In fact, he’s so confident in his idea that the 18-year-old plans on living in it for a year to test it out himself.

Currently an engineering student at Western University, Zebian was concerned by both the rising population of the unhoused in his community and the rising cost of housing overall. With that in mind, he conjured up a blueprint for a modular home that would help address both problems.


Zebian’s version of a modular home would be made of fiberglass panels and thermoplastic polyethylene terephthalate (PET) foam. He chose those materials because he believes they can make a sturdy dwelling in a short amount of time—specifically in just a single day.

“With fiberglass you can make extravagant molds, and you can replicate those,” Zebian told CTV News. “It can be duplicated. And for our roofing system, we’re not using the traditional truss method. We’re using actually an insulated core PET foam that supports the structure and structural integrity of the roof.”

Zebian also believes these homes don’t have to be purely utilitarian—they can also offer attractive design and customizable features to make them personal and appealing.

“Essentially, what I’m trying to do is bring a home to the public that could be built in one day, is affordable, and still carries some architecturally striking features,” he said to the London Free Press. “We don’t want to be bringing a house to Canadians that is just boxy and that not much thought was put into it.”

Beginning in May 2026, Zebian is putting his modular home prototype to the test by living inside of a unit for a full year with the hope of working out any and all kinks before approaching manufacturers.

“We want to see if we can make it through all four seasons- summer, winter, spring, and fall,” said Zebian. “But that’s not the only thing. When you live in something that long and use it, you can notice every single mistake and error, and you can optimize for the best experience.”

While Zebian knows that his modular homes aren't a long-term solution to either the homeless or housing crisis, he believes they could provide an inexpensive option to help people get the shelter they need until certain policies are reformed so the unhoused can find affordable permanent dwellings.

@hard.knock.gospel

What to buy for the homeless at the grocery store. 🛒 Most people get it wrong. After being there myself, these are the survival items that actually matter 💯 The 2nd to last one is about more than survival—it’s about DIGNITY. We are all one circumstance away from the same shoes 🙏 SAVE this for your next grocery run. 📌 IG@hardknockgospel Substack@ Outsiders_Anonymous #homelessness #helpingothers #kindness #payitforward #learnontiktok

Zebian’s proposal and experiment definitely inspires others to try to help, too. If you wish to lend a hand to the unhoused community in your area in the United States, but don’t know where to look, you can find a homeless shelter or charity near you through here. Whether it’s through volunteering or through a donation, you can help make a difference.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service

A German man explains why smiling at strangers in public is weird in Germany

Americans have such an interesting reputation internationally, but one that seems to give our nationality away in Germany is our habit of smiling. That's not to say that Germans don't smile because of course they do! But they don't smile while passing strangers on the street or use it as a social nicety.

Some may consider the constant smiling that many Americans do as fake or disingenuous because it's not part of their cultural norms. Dominik, a German man who runs the YouTube channel Get Germanized, explains that Americans may be taken aback by the lack of smiling by German citizens in public settings.


In America, it's considered polite to smile when greeting people or even when entering a place of business while passing another customer. It's a social norm that signals to the other person that you're acknowledging them. Sometimes this can be followed by a good morning or a thank you if the person in question held the door. There are places in the country where this is not as prevalent, but even in large cities where everyone seems to be in a rush, smiling still seems to be an understood custom.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling girl chatting outdoors with a friend.Photo credit: Canva

Cultures vary from state to state, so it's no surprise that German social niceties are different than those in the U.S., Dominik explains, "Smiling is social lubricant everywhere else. [In] Many cultures, especially English-speaking ones, smiling is a social default. You smile at strangers. You smile to soften social interactions. You smile even when you don't mean it. It's a universal, friendly, 'I'm harmless' gesture. In Germany, that's suspicious. People will think, 'Why is this person smiling at me?'"

He goes on to share that the German smile is rare because it is only used when they're familiar with the person and are genuinely happy or amused. According to Dominik, a German offering up smiles to random people could "feel fake, intrusive, or overly familiar." It can also be seen as nervousness, insecurity, or manipulation. Germans don't smile to soothe the discomfort of themselves or others. Instead, their faces remain neutral until they experience an emotion that would elicit change.

"German communication is built on honesty. Not just in words, their body language too. If they're tired, you'll see it. If they're annoyed, you'll feel it. If they're happy, they'll show it, but only when they actually are. No forced cheerfulness. No plastic service smile. No, 'How are you? Fine,' dance. It's refreshing once you get used to it. Like taking off a mask you didn't know was there," Dominik says.

The no-smiling cultural norm extends to the service industry in Germany. Customer service employees are there to solve the customer's problems, not to be entertaining. Dominik explains that Germans trust professionals who look focused while working. Even on public transportation, no smiling is going on between commuters; people mind their own business. They're not unfriendly, they're respecting your space." Dominik shares.

Germany; German; smiling; culture; cultural norms; smiling at strangers; customer service Smiling warmly in a cozy sweater, feeling relaxed and happy.Photo credit: Canva

The German culture enthusiast assures viewers that Germans smile a lot, but it's reserved for friends, families, and cute puppies. They also smile at people they like, so it's not that Germans think Americans are strange for smiling; their cultural norms are just different.

washer, washing machine setting, how to use washing machine, laundry, laundry tips
Image courtesy of @granolabarpan/Instagram (with permission)

Stay-at-home mom Catrina shares shock at learning what the 'heavy' setting on her washer means.

Knocking out loads of laundry is a feeling of accomplishment that is unmatched. Depending on what needs to be washed, washing machines offer a variety of settings for the ideal clean. But even the most seasoned laundry pros can admit that they don't fully understand how to use them properly.

One stay-at-home mom shared her funny and relatable washing machine mistake. Catrina (@granolabarpan) got the shock of a lifetime when she realized that she had been using the "heavy" setting on her washer wrong for years.


"POV: today years old when it clicks why my blankets are sopping wet!!! I thought HEAVY meant heavy items being washed," she wrote in the video's overlay.

"Heavy on my machine means heavily soiled," she went on to add in the comments. "I thought it meant the stuff I was putting in the machine was heavy in weight/pounds."

Some moms are also realizing this for the first time. "Ok.. so I am 66 years old learning this???!! I always thought that heavy meant weight also😂," one person commented. Another person wrote, "Well I was today years old when I learned what heavy meant too…😂"

Others expressed confusion with so many settings, and reminiscing on simpler times. "Wait a minute. 😂. I think I need to for once go and read the manual because I have been wondering about all of the options," another user wrote. And another chimed in, "I want my old $250 3 options hot/warm/cold on/off washer back. It didn’t die it rusted out but took 25yrs to do it. I had 5 kids, plus my ex in-laws living with me."

Washing machine settings, explained

Struggling to understand the settings on your washing machine? You're not alone.

"Knowing these settings helps avoid common laundry mistakes, such as using the heavy cycle for heavy fabric weight instead of heavy soil, which can lead to ineffective cleaning or damage over time," Vanessa Ruiz, a professional organizer at Sparkly Maid San Antonio, tells Upworthy.

These are five washing machine settings and how they work:

1. Normal/Regular Cycle
Ruiz explains that this is your typical setting for day-to-day loads such as t-shirts, jeans, sheets, and underwear.

"These laundry loads are typically washed in warm water and the setting is rinsed with medium spin speeds through agitation in order to properly clean moderately soiled garments," she says. "This cycle is safe enough to wash a variety of different fabric content with a somewhat dirty load."

2. Delicate/Gentle Cycle
Ruiz notes that the delicate cycle is created specifically for delicate fabrics—lingerie, silk, lace, or embellished clothing—that may become damaged in a normal or regular wash.

"This cycle will use moderate spin speeds through gentle agitation to thoroughly dry clean and not damage clothes too easily," says Ruiz. "This is the preferred cycle when laundry items that require extra care or are labeled 'delicate' or 'hand wash' need to be washed."

3. Heavy Duty Cycle
The heavy duty cycle is specifically for heavily soiled items like work clothes, kitchen towels, and bedding.

"This setting uses higher water temperatures, longer wash times, and powerful agitation to remove stubborn dirt and grime. It’s perfect for those tough laundry jobs, but not recommended for delicate fabrics," explains Ruiz.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

4. Bulky/Bedding Cycle
This cycle is often confused with "heavy."

"This cycle accommodates larger, heavier items that absorb a lot of water, such as comforters, pillows, and sleeping bags," says Ruiz. "It uses more water, medium spin speeds, and longer wash times to thoroughly clean bulky items without causing damage or imbalance."

5. Quick Wash
In a rush? This is the perfect setting to use.

"It is an accelerated wash cycle designed for small loads of lightly soiled clothes, usually lasting 15 to 40 minutes," says Ruiz. "It’s great for when you need clean clothes fast and can save energy compared to longer cycles."

This article originally appeared last year.

senior citizen, elderly, karaoke, music, Barry Manilow, singing
Photo Credit: Canva

An elderly man sings karaoke. Barry Manilow poses for a headshot.

Sometimes, people just want to sing. They imagine themselves belting out their favorite tunes to whomever will listen. But for many, anxiety overtakes their fantasy. The thought of messing up or sounding bad is just too terrifying, and they end up keeping their songs to themselves.

Luckily for a 79-year-old man named Colin in Barnsley in the UK, the opportunity to turn this fantasy into a reality presented itself. Singer/songwriter Ruth Lisgo had begun recording karaoke on the street, occasionally handing out a microphone to those who wanted to join in on harmonizing or singing a verse or two.


Colin first went viral after singing "Words" by the Bee Gees. Lisgo states on an Instagram post that "over one million have now viewed that video."

@ruthlisgomusic

Replying to @Sir Nick the Naughty I absolutely agree Nick. So often when I’m busking I come across people who have so many stories to tell and often in life it just takes a few minutes to really make a difference with someone by listening ❤️ 🙏 Colin has many stories I’m sure #words #beegees #busking #takethetime

Well, Colin has returned a few times, most recently to belt out "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. An added bonus is that he dedicated his rendition to none other than his dental hygienist.

In a chyron over the clip, Lisgo explains, "This man asked if he could sing on my mic. He told me he only sang karaoke at home when he was younger, but always loved singing and music. But he was afraid of forgetting words and being on a stage. He came back today to sing this for his dental hygienist who had seen the video of him singing 'Words' by the Bee Gees, and she requested him to sing this ahead of her going to a Barry Manilow concert in 2026."

Clad in a warm coat and beanie, Colin grasps the microphone. His hands seem to shiver in the cold, but what comes out of his voice is pure warmth and perfection. He begins, "I'm standing on the edge of time. I've walked away when love was mine." For a moment, he blanks on the following lyric, "Caught up in a world of uphill climbing, the tears are in my mind and nothing is rhyming." But Lisgo steps in to help him find his way.

Now for the chorus and a key change: "Oh Mandy! Well, you came and you gave without taking, but I sent you away. Oh Mandy! Well, you kissed me and stopped me from shaking. And I need you today. Oh Mandy!"

The clip jump cuts to both Colin and Lisgo caught up in the moment. You can clearly feel the pride, smiles, and applause as Lisgo flips the camera to reveal a small crowd has formed. Lisgo asks commenters under her Instagram post to please share where they live so Colin can feel love from all over the world.

Over 5,500 people (and counting) did just that. Chiming in from Canada to Turkey to Finland to Sweden, compliments poured in by the hour. "Wonderful moment for him and for us," one Instagrammer writes.

Another addresses their comment directly to Lisgo, praising her for bringing so much joy. "I don't know you, but I actually watched your reaction to him singing and it was beautiful. I could see the heart and kindness in your face." Lisgo replies sharing how moved she was, writing, "I was brought to tears and I was feeling so much in this moment. It really was special and magic - thank you!"

Another commenter shares what so many of us believe: "Barry Manilow will be proud."

Colin sings full-version of "Mandy" by Barry Manilow. www.youtube.com, Ruth Lisgo

Friendship

Real people say this post-hangout question helps keep friendships alive

"It's such a simple and effective way to show love..."

friendships, hangouts, friends, organizers, adult friendships, how to stay friends,
Photo credit: Canva, alvarog1970 from alvarostock (main image) / anlomaja (text box)

People think this post-hangout question can be a friendship game-changer.

It's not always easy to maintain close friendships as an adult. Everyone's busy and to some degree exhausted, and free time is scarce. So how do we maximize our friend time? And how do we reach out without looking too pushy? A regular person offered a suggestion: asking one thoughtful post-hangout question that's made their friendships "so much stronger."

It's pretty simple: "When's the next time I'll see you?"


Here's their logic: "You're showing enthusiasm for seeing your friend again, reassuring them you had a good time, and planning the next time you'll see each other all in one go," they wrote on Reddit. "Obviously this requires the friend to reciprocate, but it's such a simple and effective way to show love that has had consistent, lasting effects on my friendships. I don't typically say this to new friends; it's for people that I'm confident I want consistently in my life."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

Their trending post earned hundreds of replies, as people weighed in with their perspectives.

One person appeared to echo the OP's sentiment, talking about the importance of having a "chooser" in friendships—someone who will take on the role of making plans. "'Be a chooser' is the best advice I ever received," they wrote. "People want to hang out, but very few want to make the decision to hang out and organize it. Be the chooser…people will follow."

In reply, someone added, "I'm the planner and the calendar friend. For a long time, I took it so personal that no one else really planned things. But actually, people appreciate this. If they didn't, they'd make excuses to not hang out or would just say no instead of enthusiastically agree."

Here are more interesting comments, including some with a different perspective:

"This works because it removes guesswork"

"I have a group of girlfriends from college that get together every month for brunch, and most of them are also in a book club with me. At the end of each hang, whether it's brunch or book club, we get our calendars out and plan the next one. Occasionally we skip a month if there's a ton of conflicts, and not every person makes every single hang, but they happen very regularly and have been happening regularly for about 2 1/2 years now. We're all late 30s-mid 40s with careers and (in their cases,) spouses and families. 10/10 everyone should do this!"

"It rules that this works for you! I have to say, if someone asks me this, unless we're super duper bestest friends I'm just gonna say, 'hopefully soon- let's talk!" and not much will change. Seeing friends is more of a time issue than a desire issue IMO. Even if we want to plan things, we're busy a lot."

friendship, happiness, adult friendships, staying close with friends, friendship dynamics Two friends hugging. Photo credit: Canva, mododeolhar from Pexels

"I see the usefulness of this, but also I think this would low-key give me a panic attack if I just got done hanging out with someone and they wanted to plan the next one. I'm fully prepared to believe this is a 'me' thing"

"Agree with you in spirit but phrasing it that way puts a lot of pressure on them to figure out a date in advance, and some people don't like to plan far in advance."

"Instead I usually go with something like 'what's our next thing?' Easier for another person to figure out what something is than when on the spot"

"I love this because it shows intention without being clingy. So many friendships fade just because no one makes the next step explicit. This feels simple, warm, and very human."

"If this isn't your speed, you can also text them the next day. This works well for anxious people because it also sends them an affirmation/aftercare if they are worried about the hangout."

"This works because it removes guesswork. Clear interest plus a next step keeps friendships from fading by accident."

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Focus on the reception"

While some people felt the question could come off as pushy, the OP clarified their stance with a few key points: they don't ask it every time they see someone, particularly people they see often, and they always make sure to read the room. They continued, "You do NOT do this after an exhausting event, or with people who do not like planning. Sometimes it's a conversation opener; others it's a time to pull out the calendar. This works well for busy people who also like consistent quality time. If that is not you, that's okay."

While every friend dynamic is unique, it's natural to feel like you're constantly initiating hangout plans.

Friendship coach Danielle Jackson explored this idea in a 2021 YouTube video, explaining that there are three key things you can do if you feel like the "giver" in a relationship: give the other person the "opportunity to initiate," reframe how you view their contributions, and "focus on the reception" rather than the initiative. "At the end of the day," Jackson says, "it's less about who's asking and more about who's saying yes."

- YouTube www.youtube.com