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More women than ever are choosing not to become moms. Society needs to be OK with it.

Hannah Blum is a 39-year-old corporate executive living in San Diego, California. Motherhood isn't her thing.

Sadly, she keeps encountering people who want to offer their sympathies to her — even during a routine trip to rent a movie at Redbox.

Hannah chooses not to have kids, and she's a very happy woman. All photos are from Hannah Blum and used with permission.

"After a bit of small talk with the guy in front of me in line, I told him that I didn't have any kids," Hannah said. "He was shocked that a woman like me didn't have kids and looked at me with pity to say he was 'so very sorry.' But actually, I just don't want kids."

You're a mom? Cool. We all love moms. But what about the women who choose not to be mothers?

It doesn't matter if its online or offline, it's almost impossible not to see imagery of motherhood at every turn.

America loves moms, as we should. GIF from "Beyonce: Life Is But a Dream."

Witnessing a woman caring and nurturing her children is a beautiful sight, and the world is undoubtedly a better place due to the great ladies who take motherhood seriously.

But more women than ever are choosing not to be mothers at all. In fact, the Census Bureau's Current Population Survey in 2014 noted that over 47% of women in the U.S. between the ages of 15 and 44 do not have children — the highest percent since the government began tracking that information.

Sadly, stigmas exist about what it means to be a child-free woman in America, so I asked Hannah to provide her thoughts on the situation.

1. She doesn't want any pity.

Experiences like the one at Redbox happen quite often, and when Hannah's child-free life is revealed to people, they react as if she revealed a terminal diagnosis or that she has a screw loose instead.

"Wait, you don't have kids? Sorry about that." GIF from "The Steve Harvey Show."

"It's not that I'm unable to have children or can't find a man," Hannah said. "I'm just extremely happy with my current lifestyle, and it's frustrating when society doesn't understand that."

2. It doesn't mean she hates kids.

Hannah grew up in a family with six children. Not only that, but by the time she was 15, she babysat her 2-year-old twin sisters and her 3-year-old brother while her parents enjoyed a their weekly Saturday night date. She loved it.

"I bathed them, sang to them, read to them, fed them, kissed their boo-boos, you name it, I did it," Hannah said. "And it was fun for me."

Even today, Hannah enjoys spending time with her friends' kids. She's even pretty good at soothing crying babies because she had plenty of experience when she was a teenager.

In other words, she loves kid time but doesn't want it all of the time.

Hannah enjoys spending time with her friends' kids, Sadie (left) and Dana.

Today, she enjoys coming and going as she pleases, sleeping in on weekends, and watching her beloved New England Patriots play football uninterrupted. "I'm thankful that I can enjoy my friends' kids as often as I'd like, but I also enjoy some me-time," Hannah said. "By not having kids of my own, I have that choice."

3. It doesn't mean she's selfish.

This is the big one.

Oftentimes Hannah and her child-free friends are labeled as selfish. Being a good parent means putting your kids' needs before your own, right?

Hannah looks at it a little differently.

"I'm the friend who will pick you up in the middle of the night because your boyfriend broke up with you," Hannah said. "I also volunteer many hours a week cleaning garbage from our oceans, working at homeless shelters, and raising money to find a cure for cancer. That doesn't seem all that selfish to me."

Hannah (center, red shirt) pictured at the national leadership conference for the Leukemia and Lymphoma Society in 2014. She's the chapter chairperson for the San Diego-Hawaii region.

Shouldn't we celebrate people who don't want to be parents?

Parenting is hard. People with and without kids know that. Moms and dads deserve all of the credit in the world for taking on such an important task.

But if an individual feels that he or she doesn't want to raise kids, shouldn't we be glad they realized that before trying to have a baby?

That alone makes the world a better place.

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Prudential
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Meet the 18-year-old advocating for teen mental health, one inspiring podcast at a time

All images provided by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

Collins after being selected by Prudential Emerging Visionaries

True

A changemaker is anyone who takes creative action to solve an ongoing problem—be it in one’s own community or throughout the world.

And when it comes to creating positive change, enthusiasm and a fresh perspective can hold just as much power as years of experience. That’s why, every year, Prudential Emerging Visionaries celebrates young people for their innovative solutions to financial and societal challenges in their communities.

This national program awards 25 young leaders (ages 14-18) up to $15,000 to devote to their passion projects. Additionally, winners receive a trip to Prudential’s headquarters in Newark, New Jersey, where they receive coaching, skills development, and networking opportunities with mentors to help take their innovative solutions to the next level.

For 18-year-old Sydnie Collins, one of the 2023 winners, this meant being able to take her podcast, “Perfect Timing,” to the next level.

Since 2020, the Maryland-based teen has provided a safe platform that promotes youth positivity by giving young people the space to celebrate their achievements and combat mental health stigmas. The idea came during the height of Covid-19, when Collins recalled social media “becoming a dark space flooded with news,” which greatly affected her own anxiety and depression.

Knowing that she couldn’t be the only one feeling this way, “Perfect Timing” seemed like a valuable way to give back to her community. Over the course of 109 episodes, Collins has interviewed a wide range of guests—from other young influencers to celebrities, from innovators to nonprofit leaders—all to remind Gen Z that “their dreams are tangible.”

That mission statement has since evolved beyond creating inspiring content and has expanded to hosting events and speaking publicly at summits and workshops. One of Collins’ favorite moments so far has been raising $7,000 to take 200 underserved girls to see “The Little Mermaid” on its opening weekend, to “let them know they are enough” and that there’s an “older sister” in their corner.

Of course, as with most new projects, funding for “Perfect Timing” has come entirely out of Collins’ pocket. Thankfully, the funding she earned from being selected as a Prudential Emerging Visionary is going toward upgraded recording equipment, the support of expert producers, and skill-building classes to help her become a better host and public speaker. She’ll even be able to lease an office space that allows for a live audience.

Plus, after meeting with the 24 other Prudential Emerging Visionaries and her Prudential employee coach, who is helping her develop specific action steps to connect with her target audience, Collins has more confidence in a “grander path” for her work.

“I learned that my network could extend to multiple spaces beyond my realm of podcasting and journalism when industry leaders are willing to share their expertise, time, and financial support,” she told Upworthy. “It only takes one person to change, and two people to expand that change.”

Prudential Emerging Visionaries is currently seeking applicants for 2024. Winners may receive up to $15,000 in awards and an all-expenses-paid trip to Prudential’s headquarters with a parent or guardian, as well as ongoing coaching and skills development to grow their projects.

If you or someone you know between the ages of 14 -18 not only displays a bold vision for the future but is taking action to bring that vision to life, click here to learn more. Applications are due by Nov. 2, 2023.
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