Mom goes off on her daughter's school for calling her casual outfit a dress code violation
"It's 2024. We've got to do better as a society.”
If this is "distracting," then what are girls supposed to wear? Cloaks?
With as much evidence we have showing how dress codes specifically target women, you would think that finally, in 2024, there would be an end to it. But here we are.
To show how this ridiculous, blatant discrimination continues to rear its ugly head, look no further than a video posted by a mother named Shasty Leah, who received a phone call from her daughter’s school a mere two hours before school day would end…due to her outfit “distracting the boys.”
And just what was Leah’s daughter wearing that was so distracting? A high neck, long sleeve shirt and blue jean-like leggings.
That’s it. No crop tops or above-the-knee skirts or any of the other clothing items that typically get penalized.
And yet, this outfit was considered somehow too sexually alluring. Probably because Leah’s daughter was on the curvier side (Leah says that she and her daughter wear the same bra size). Seriously, this feels like it should be in a silly period piece movie. But no.
Understandably, Leah was livid.
“It’s 2024, and we're still teaching the boys that girls are their sexual play toys,” she says in the clip.
@its_shastys Schools are just full of shit#teamhypeasmile ♬ original sound - Shasty Leah
“We're not teaching the boys: You don't have a right to put your hands on any girl. You don't have a right to call her anything outside her God-given name, and you don't have a right to think that she is your sexual object. We're not teaching the boys that. No.”
But she doesn’t stop there. She rightfully adds that if schools really were concerned about all kinds of potentially suggestive dress, then there would be the cheerleading or volleyball outfits many tween and teen girls wear. Valid, valid points.
“It's 2024. We've got to do better as a society,” she says while shaking her head.
Leah even went on to say that as a mom to four boys, she has somehow, someway been able to bring them up to speed on not sexualizing women.
“They were taught the same thing, and you would think while the moms and daddies out there teaching their kids to play football and baseball and basketball, fish, hunt, all the fun things, maybe you could teach in gaming ... maybe teach them how not to be little s**ts. Be men.”
And by the way, below is the infamous outfit in question. Leah’s daughter couldn’t have been more conservative if she were wearing a burlap sack.
@its_shastys Replying to @Krystalkd1108 #teamhypeasmile ♬ original sound - Shasty Leah
Other viewers chimed in to share their support, and encouraged Leah to take action.
“There is NOTHING wrong with this outfit,” one person wrote.
Meanwhile, another added, “GO to the school board,” while someone else suggest “set up a meeting wearing that shirt.”
A few even noted that perhaps it’s not the boys who really have the problem, but the adults who are making the complaint.
“At my daughter's school the boys started wearing crop tops and things girls get DC for to make a point and they change the code,” one person shared.
Another commented, “When the school calls about dress code violations, I really want to know more about the adult who’s been staring and having a problem with it.”
Officials might argue that dress codes help instill a sense of productivity and focus, but for young girls—especially young girls with curvier body types and BIPOC students—they do more harm than good. This is fairly common knowledge by now, is it not? That’s why so many schools have been called out for it over the years.
And yet, an overwhelming majority of schools in the U.S. still enforce them. We’ve tried productivity the patriarchal way. It’s time to try something else, for crying out loud.
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Not just coworkers—family, friends, strangers, kids…
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There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."