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Life hacks that sound fake but are actually super effective

"If you're having trouble staying awake in class/at a meeting, see how long you can keep one of your feet lifted slightly off the ground."

someone wearing two different socks

Image by mac231 from Pixabay

Who knew changing your socks could change your whole day?

It's been two decades since tech writer Danny O'Brien coined the term“life hack” to describe a simple action or habit that solves a problem or makes our lives easier.

Some life hacks are super helpful in a "Duh, why didn't I think of that before?" way. Some so-called life hacks are just dubious attempts to get people to click on things, either by offering silly ideas that mock the life hack genre or things that are basically just common sense. And then there are the tricky ones that sound dumb or fake but are actually really useful.

Here are some "seems fake but is actually effective" life hacks, courtesy of AskReddit.

(Keep in mind that none of these things are meant to be medical advice—just people sharing things that have worked for them.)

How can you quickly turn around a bad day?

"Change your socks to salvage a bad day. I laughed with derision the first time I read this. Then I tried it.

It works. It's like a reset button. Fresh start sorta thing.

If you're having a bad day, change your socks."

"Taking a shower helps a ton in dealing with a bad day."

"I would second this but with a cold shower if possible or a clean wipe when outside. Feeling down and refreshed with a quick rinse and fresh clothes is a godsend."

"Also, brushing your teeth. If I'm feeling sh_tty or exhausted, a nice tooth brushing makes me feel like a new woman!"

"Army knew that stuff decades ago. Want a soldier to go longer but no sleep? Get them to shave, brush teeth, do hair. Feel better and off you go. Sounds ridiculous but it does work. For me I love brushing my hair for a pick me up."

Someone holding their lower back Back pain sometimes isn't actually about your back.Photo by Kindel Media/Pexels

How do you ease lower back pain?

"Try stretching your quads for lower back pain, just a simple grab your shoe/point knee down stretch. I'm a personal trainer and this always amazes my clients when they try it lol.

"Most lower back pain in our modern society is caused by prolonged sitting. When sitting on a chair, your quads are shortened and become tight. Remember, your entire body is connected, and your quads go all the way up to connect to your hip bone. Imagine your hip bone is a bucket of water, and you want that bucket to stay straight up to keep the water from spilling. When your quads are tight, that 'bucket' is being pulled and tilted forward. You get what I call the 'Booty Pop' stance, which puts a lot of pressure on your lower back. In stretching your quads, you're not pulling that hip forward anymore, correcting that stance and helping that 'bucket of water' stay upright."

"Tightness in one area creates tension in another. The human body is a meaty pulley system. I can tell I didn’t stretch or warm up enough based on how tight my ankles feel, but it doesn’t mean I do ankle stretches. I try to stretch my hamstrings, hips, and QL area."

"YES. I hurt my lower back two years ago and my doctor told me to stretch my hamstrings and I was amazed at how much it worked. I do it every day now multiple times a day as well as other stretches. I used to only be able to bend over and barely reach my shins because I was so stiff and now I can easily touch the ground. I also use a lacrosse ball and roll it around on each of my glutes (I found this from Joe DeFrancos limber 11) for a couple mins each and that was also massive for improving my back pains because my glutes were also very tight."

How do you ease anxiousness or nervousness?

"If you’re feeling anxious or nervous, chew gum. It sounds weird, but it actually tricks your brain into thinking you’re safe and calm, because your body associates eating with being relaxed. Plus, it helps you focus and stay in the moment, which can really take the edge off in stressful situations."

"I had a teacher in my nursing school who would pass out gum before our exams for this reason."

"My freshman year of college one of my professors told us to have snacks handy while we study for this same reason, in addition to giving our body and brains little treats for concentrating.

Then a week before finals, he told us to write down our favorite study snack, and when we came in for our final, we all had our “study snack” sitting on our desk, ready to go for our test.

Which was great for me because I wrote down that I liked to get togo containers of queso, guac, and tortillas from this little Mexican restaurant in town, and I had warm tortillas and queso and cold fresh guac waiting for me at my desk. My friend had ihop pancakes sitting on her desk because this was back in the day when they had bottomless pancakes and she’d just go sit at ihop at 2am when it was dead and quiet and eat pancakes and study.

Aced that final."

"Unless you are having a bad panic attack. I tried chewing gum and it didn't work. That was a particularly bad panic attack it lasted an hour where I thought I was dying the entire time."

How do you stop a panic attack in its tracks?

"If you are having a panic attack, sucking on an ice cube or dunking your face in ice water can stop it. I thought this was bs, but was shocked that sucking an ice cube calmed the physical symptoms of the panic attack."

"The ice water face thing requires your face to be fully in it, with some water a little up your nose. It triggers a reflex known as the 'mammalian diving response.' It will drop your heart rate by like 30 bpm in seconds."

"Similar note - eating something extremely sour helps too. A lemon wedge works really well if you’re at home, and you can carry warheads or something similar for when you’re on the go."

"If you don't have access to ice cubes or a bucket of water, touching anything cold helps. Windows on public transportation (just line your arm up against the window, no one will notice), metal shelves in stores, metal bars on the side of the stairs... there is always an option. Then ask yourself: what do I see, hear, taste, smell, feel. It grounds you. Humming or singing also works if your breathing is off."

"Can confirm. I suffered from the occasional attack for about 2 years (better now), but grabbing one of those ice pack thingies from the freezer and holding it against my wrists/forearms would help to make it go away quicker than just riding it out."

How do you stop beating yourself up?

"Stop talking shit about yourself during your inner dialogue and start saying nice things. Whether you mean what your saying or not doesn't matter, your unconscious mind absorbs that and it becomes the de facto way you see yourself. Eventually your positive self reinforcement will start to take root and you'll see yourself in the positive light that you should.

If you'd have told me this info 10 years ago I would have said its woo-woo bullshit. It is not. It actually works."

"Yes, talk to yourself like you would talk to your best friend. It doesn’t come natural, but it’s something you can work on."

"My buddy fixed his anger issues with therapy like this. Any time he got angry about something he did, he was supposed to pull himself out of the situation and pretend he was talking to a best friend about something they did. Changed his outlook on things."

"Absolute truth! I totally changed my outlook on life by putting a stop to the internal 'You dummy,' 'Why are you such an idiot' type of dialogue. Instead, I mentally say, 'UGH! Need to find a better way of doing that' or something to that effect. I also began mentally praising my accomplishments the way you would praise your young child whenever I accomplish something. It is truly a life changer!"

someone asleep on their laptop Gotta stay awake. Gotta stay awake. Gotta stay…zzzzz.Photo by Ketut Subiyanto/Pexels

How do you stay awake in a meeting or class when you're sleepy?

"If you're having trouble staying awake in class/at a meeting, see how long you can keep one of your feet lifted slightly off the ground."

"We did this is basic training. If you fell asleep you would get smoked but we were all so damned tired. It really is impossible to fall asleep while your foot is off the ground.

"This is actually what I used to do driving home after working night shift as a nurse. Windows down and left foot lifted off the floor board."

"Rub your ears as well."

"And look up. Like, look upwards with only your eyes for a few seconds, don't tilt your head. I use this all the time and it's like minimum effort maximum reward."

How do you remove a ring that's stuck on your finger?

"If your ring gets stuck on your finger windex will slide it right off. Worked at a jewelry store for five plus years."

"I also worked at a jewelry store for a while, and customers never believed me initially when I told them this."

"This is because classic Windex contains a little ammonia, which like any alkaline (basic) chemical causes fats to form soaps (aka saponification) which makes your skin (which contains the fats) to feel slippery.

For this reason it’s not great to leave Windex or similar chemicals on your skin for too long. It is actually reacting with your skin oils which can cause damage if left to sit."

"The floss trick also works and I really thought it wouldn't."

"My ring size is 7, my knuckle is at least an 8. I was trying to remove my wedding ring for surgery and was shown the dental floss trick. I've used it since then a few times."

Here's the dental floss trick:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

From Your Site Articles

National Geographic Documentary Films

National Geographic Documentary Films

Nat Geo's 'Blink' tracks a family finding beauty while facing blindness as they travel the globe

“Let's go all in and fill their visual memory with as much beauty as we can."

via Edith Lemay/NatGeo

Mia, Leo, Colin, and Laurent Pelletier pose on top of their camper van in front of adouble rainbow while in Mongolia.

True

“Blink,” a new film by National Geographic Documentary Films shows how a family with four children, three of whom are going blind, embraces life in the face of an uncertain future. It’s a testament to the resilience of the Lemay-Pelletier family but also a reminder for all of us to seize the day because all our futures are uncertain.

Edith Lemay and Sébastien Pelletier are the parents of Mia, a 13-year-old girl, and three boys: Léo, 11, Colin, 9, and Laurent, 7. Over the last six years, they’ve learned that Mia and the two youngest boys have retinitis pigmentosa, a rare genetic disease in which the cells of the retina slowly die. As the disease progresses, the person develops “tunnel vision” that shrinks until very little vision remains.

The diagnosis devastated the parents. "The hardest part with the diagnosis was inaction. There's nothing they can do about it. There's no treatment,” Edith says in the film.

However, even though the parents couldn’t affect the progress of the disease, they could give their children’s senses an epic experience that would benefit them for a lifetime.

“We don’t know how fast it’s going to go, but we expect them to be completely blind by mid-life,” said the parents. Mia’s impairment advisor suggested they fill her visual memory with pictures from books. “I thought, I’m not going to show her an elephant in a book; I’m going to take her to see a real elephant,” Edith explains in the film. “And I’m going to fill her visual memory with the best, most beautiful images I can.”

The Pelletier family (from left): Mia, Sebastien, Colin, Edith Lemay, Laurent and Leo inKuujjuaq, Canada.via National Geographic/Katie Orlinsky

This realization led to an inspiring year-long journey across 24 countries, during which every family member experienced something on their bucket list. Mia swam with dolphins, Edith rode a hot-air balloon in Cappadocia, and Léo saw elephants on safari.

Colin realized his dream of sleeping on a moving train while Sébastien saw the historic site of Angkor Wat.

“We were focusing on sights,” explains Pelletier. “We were also focusing a lot on fauna and flora. We’ve seen incredible animals in Africa but also elsewhere. So we were really trying to make them see things that they wouldn’t have seen at home and have the most incredible experiences.”

Cameras followed the family for 76 days as they traveled to far-flung locales, including Namibia, Mongolia, Egypt, Laos, Nepal and Turkey. Along the way, the family made friends with local people and wildlife. In a heartbreaking scene, the boys wept as the family had to leave behind a dog named Bella he befriended in the mountains of Nepal.

But the film isn't just about the wonders of nature and family camaraderie. The family's trip becomes a “nightmare” when they are trapped in a cable car suspended hundreds of feet above the Ecuadorian forest for over 10 hours.

annapurna range, blink, nat geo Leo, Laurent, Edith, Colin, Mia, and Sebastien look out at the mountains in the Annapurna range.via MRC/Jean-Sébastien Francoeur

As expected, NatGeo’s cinematographers beautifully capture the family's journey, and in the case of “Blink,” this majestic vision is of even greater importance. In some of the film's quietest moments, we see the children taking in the world's wonders, from the vast White Desert in Egypt to a fearless butterfly in Nepal, with the full knowledge that their sight will fail one day.

Along the way, the family took as many pictures as possible to reinforce the memories they made on their adventure. “Maybe they’ll be able to look at the photographs and the pictures and they will bring back those stories, those memories, of the family together,” Edith says.

But the film is about more than travel adventures and the pain of grief; ultimately, it’s about family.

“By balancing [the parents’ grief] with a more innocent and joyous tale of childlike wonder and discovery, we felt we could go beyond a mere catalog of locations and capture something universal,” the directors Edmund Stenson and Daniel Roher, said in a statement. “Keeping our camera at kid-height and intimately close to the family, we aimed to immerse the audience in the observational realities of their daily life, as well as the subtle relationships between each of them. This is a film built on looks, gestures and tiny details—the very fabric of our relationships with one another.”

Ultimately, “Blink” is a great film to see with your loved ones because it’s a beautiful reminder to appreciate the wonders of our world, the gift of our senses and the beauty of family.

The film will open in over 150 theaters in the U.S. and Canada beginning Oct. 4 and will debut on National Geographic Channel and stream on Disney+ and Hulu later this year. Visit the “Blink” website for more information.

From Your Site Articles

national geographic

'It's not Little Sun': Mom admits she's having trouble pronouncing her newborn's name

It was fine 'til other people tried to say it and now she's confused.

via JustusMoms29/TikTok (used with permission)

Justus Stroup is starting to realize her baby's name isn't that common.

One of the many surprises that come with parenthood is how the world reacts to your child’s name. It’s less of a surprise if your child has a common name like John, Mohammed, or Lisa. But if you give your child a non-traditional name that’s gender-neutral, you’re going to throw a lot of folks off-guard and mispronunciations are going to be an issue.

This exact situation happened with TikTok user Justus Stroup, who recently had her second child, but there’s a twist: she isn’t quite sure how to pronounce her child’s name either.

"I may have named my daughter a name I can't even pronounce," Stroup opens the video. "Now, I think I can pronounce it, but I've told a couple of people her name and there are two people who thought I said the same exact thing. So, I don't know that I know how to [pronounce] her name correctly."

@justusmoms29
Just when you think you name your child something normal! #2under2mom #postpartum #newborn #momsoftiktok #uniquenames #babyname #babygirl #sahm #momhumor

Stroup’s daughter is named Sutton and the big problem is how people around her pronounce the Ts. Stroup tends to gloss over the Ts, so it sounds like Suh-en. However, some people go hard on the Ts and call her “Sut-ton.”

"I'm not gonna enunciate the 'Ts' like that. It drives me absolutely nuts," she noted in her TikTok video. "I told a friend her name one time, and she goes, 'Oh, that's cute.' And then she repeated the name back to me and I was like, 'No, that is not what I said.'"

Stroup also had a problem with her 2-year-old son’s speech therapist, who thought the baby’s name was Sun and that there weren’t any Ts in the name at all. "My speech therapist, when I corrected her and spelled it out, she goes, 'You know, living out in California, I have friends who named their kids River and Ocean, so I didn't think it was that far off.'"

Stroup told People that she got the name from a TV show called “The Lying Game,” which she used to watch in high school. "Truthfully, this was never a name on my list before finding out I was pregnant with a girl, but after finding out the gender, it was a name I mentioned and my husband fell in love with," says Stroup. "I still love the name. I honestly thought I was picking a strong yet still unique name. I still find it to be a pretty name, and I love that it is gender neutral as those are the type of names I love for girls."

The mother could choose the name because her husband named their son Greyson.

The commenters thought Stroup should tell people it’s Sutton, pronounced like a button. “I hear it correctly! Sutton like Button. I would pronounce it like you, too!” Amanda wrote.

“My daughter’s name is Sutton. I say it the same way as you. When people struggle with her name, I say it’s Button but with a S. That normally immediately gets them to pronounce it correctly,” Megan added.

After the video went viral, Stroup heard from people named Hunter and Peyton, who are dealing with a similar situation. “I've also noticed the two most common names who run into the same issue are Hunter (people pronouncing it as Hunner or HUNT-ER) and Payton (pronounced Pey-Ton or Pey-tin, most prefer it as Pey-tin),” she told Upworthy.

“Another person commented saying her name is Susan and people always think it is Season or Steven,” Stroup told Upworthy. After having her second child, she learned that people mix up even the simplest names. “No name is safe at this point,” she joked.

The whole situation has Stroup rethinking how she pronounces her daughter’s name. Hopefully, she got some advance on how to tell people how to pronounce it, or else she’ll have years of correcting people in front of her. "Good lord, I did not think this was going to be my issue with this name," she said.

From Your Site Articles

Mic'd up pro tennis players can't stop laughing at sounds they make hitting the ball

It sounds hilariously NSFW.

Novak Djokovic via Wikimedia|Yann Caradec and Aryna Sabalenka via Wikimedia|Hameltion

Mic'd up tennis players making NSFW sounds can't keep it together.

There are so many instances where you wish you could be a "fly on the wall" or some other cliché about eavesdropping, not necessarily because you want to hear some juicy gossip but rather because you want to hear someone's inside thoughts or private mumbling.

Imagine professional football players being mic'd up on the field—what on Earth would they be saying to themselves while safely out of earshot of their coaches or teammate that fumbled a perfect pass? It's like a sneak peek into a private world that the general public isn't usually privy to.

There have been some on-mic moments the world got to witness, like when a hockey goalie was mic'd up and caught giving himself a pep talk or when an NFL linebacker was caught looking for his mom in the stands. Those moments were so unexpectedly wholesome, you might expect the same when professional tennis players are mic'd up for a charity match.

Except in this case, things got a little less wholesome and a little more NSFW pretty quickly.

It's not because the tennis players were chucking racquets and swearing like sailors. They were simply playing the game as intended, but even the players couldn't stop laughing. Novak Djokovic and Aryna Sabalenka faced off against Stefanos Tsitsipas and Maria Sakkari for a doubles charity match ahead of the Australian Open 2024. The four were mic'd for the event and accidental hilarity ensued as sounds from the players hitting the ball echoed through the stands at a decibel most are not used to.

from ContagiousLaughter

In the clip posted to Reddit, Djokovic can be heard cackling saying, "This is going to be so good," while Sabalenka does her best to not burst into hysterical laughter when she tries not to grunt hitting the ball. Djokovic teases his teammate, "Ahh come on, you're famous for your grunt," to which she replies, "People will leave here if I'm going to be loud." The pair are barely keeping it together but the match must continue.

The four players hit the ball back and forth increasingly sounding like a little afternoon delight is taking place, which causes the audience and players to burst out in laughter. There's really no getting around what this tennis match sounds like, and it's not safe for work in the most innocent way possible.

Novak Djokovic | On the practice court at the Fever-Tree Cha… | Flickrwww.flickr.com

Either the person who thought to mic up the players knew what the sounds would resemble and did it as a practical joke, or even better, they didn't know and everyone was embarrassingly surprised. If you've ever heard a tennis match being played then you're aware of all of the grunts and moans that occur when a player hits the ball. Usually those sounds are muffled by distance so they sound a lot less...inappropriate.

The mics attached right next to the players mouths made every moan, grunt, and heavy, fast paced breathing sound as if you walked in on Cinemax after dark. Suddenly a charity tennis match made amplified sounds that made it seem as if children shouldn't be present and none of the players could stop laughing.

Aryna Sabalenka playing tennis Aryna Sabalenka in 2017commons.wikimedia.org

Commenters are Reddit also couldn't get enough of the accidentally inappropriate sounding match with one writing, "This would make tennis so much more popular! LOVE IT!"

Another person writes, "Once my family sponsored a tennis event at the Staples Center. I saw Sheripova play against Williams and they both would grunt so loud. Williams was very manly and Sheripova was just like the video. The entire match everyone was dying laughing."

"This is hilarious. I'm surprised this is the first time i've seen them do this," one person says.

"Great way to raise the collective energy. This should be done more often, funny stuff," someone else jokes.

French Open Reaction GIF by Roland-GarrosGiphy

"Whoever had the idea to do this either overlooked this completely, or knew exactly what they were doing," one commenter shares while another responds, "They watched that one episode of American Dad and was like 'I have an idea.'"

The entire charity match is on YouTube, but be sure not to have the volume up too loud if you plan to listen to it in the office...or in the living room. Maybe just keep your headphones in while you get a chuckle at the players making interesting noises while trying to win a game.

Watch the entire match below:

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Dad uses simple math trick to stop his 6-year-old's tantrums in their tracks

It works — and it's psychologist approved.

OPPO Find X5 Pro & Chris Liverani/Unsplash

Sometimes parenting tricks are deceptively simple.

Tantrums, meltdowns, and emotional outbursts are the bane of parents' existence.

Once they start, they're like a freight train. There seems to be almost no way to stop them other than staying calm and letting them run their course.

That is, until one dad on Reddit revealed his secret method.

A thread titled "Hack your youngster's big emotions with math" has every parent on Reddit saying, why didn't I think of that?

User u/WutTheHuck posted a simple comment on the subreddit r/daddit earlier this month.

"Heard about this recently - when your kid is having a meltdown, doing math engages a different part of their brain and helps them move past the big feelings and calm down," he writes.

"We've been doing this with our very emotional 6-yr-old, when she decides that she wants to cooperate - asking her a handful of simple addition and subtraction questions will very quickly allow her to get control of herself again and talk about her feelings."

So, basically, when the sobs and screams come on strong, having your kid tell you the answer to 3+3, or 10-7 is a good way to get them calm again, and fast.

OP goes on to call the technique "magical," and mentions that his 6-year-old is legendary in his household for her epic tantrums.

The unique trick became a popular post on the subreddit, with a few hundreds comments from dads who were intrigued and willing to give it a try.

A month later, the results are in. The math trick works wonders.

math problems OK, we said SIMPLE mathAntoine Dautry/unsplash

What struck me as I read through r/daddit was how many follow-up threads there were that said something to the effect of:

The math trick worked!

One user wrote that when his kids woke up screaming from a nightmare, he responded with a simple addition question.

"Soon as my wife closed the door ... [my kid] wanted mommy and started yelling her head off. I remembered the math trick and went 'what's 2+2?' It worked like a charm; the screaming ceased by the second question," he said.

In a separate thread, u/LighTMan913 had a message for "whoever posted here a few days ago about having your kid do mental math when they're upset..."

"You're a mother fudging genius," he said.

"My 7-year-old got in trouble for being mean to his brother shortly before bed time. He was rolled over facing the wall in bed. Wouldn't say goodnight. Just giving mumbles into the bed that are impossible to hear for answers.

"Started with 2+2 and by the time we got to 4096 he was smiling and laughing. 5 minutes after I left the room he called me back in to tell me he thinks he figured out 4096 + 4096 and I worked him through his wrong, albeit very close, answer.

"Worked like a charm. Thank you."

It's not just random dads on the Internet. Experts agree that this method is a bona fide winner for dealing with tantrums and outbursts.

upset kid Helping kids calm down can be a challenge.Annie Spratt/Unsplash

Amy Morin, a psychotherapist and author, had this to say about the viral technique:

"When our emotions rise, our logic decreases. The more emotional we feel, the more difficult it is to think clearly.

"A simple math problem requires you to raise your logic, which automatically decreases the intensity of an emotion."

Morin says that the math trick basically boils down to a distraction. A distraction with the added bonus of re-engaging the logical side of a child's brain.

"If you do what's known as 'changing the channel' in your brain, you get your mind thinking about something else--like a math problem. When you shift your attention, your thoughts change," Morin says, adding that adults can use this concept when they're feeling overwhelmed, too.

"When a child is upset, don't talk about why they're upset or why a tantrum is inappropriate. Instead, help them change the channel in their brains and raise their logic. When everyone is calm, you can have a discussion about how the strategy works--and how they can apply it themselves when you're not available to remind them."

Now I just need to get my 4-year-old up to speed on basic addition and subtraction and I'll be made in the shade!

From Your Site Articles

Moms go out for a night and forget their breast pumps. A hilarious look at motherhood ensues.

Just a dose of wholesome chaos.

@labor_junkie_rn/TikTok

The bathroom is always a safe space for the chaos of womanhood.

Nights out with girlfriends become precious after becoming a mom. But certain aspects of motherhood—like lactation—don’t always get the “off-duty” memo.

Just ask this group of friends, who just so happen to be labor and delivery nurses, what happened when they tried to hit the town and realized two moms in their group forgot their breast pumps.

Besides a doctor-prescribed pain medication, the only way to really deal with the painful, throbbing sensation of breast engorgement is to express, or release the milk. Though that milk ideally goes into a baby’s mouth or breast pump…sometimes you gotta improvise.

And that’s exactly what we see in a viral video posted in March by @Labor_Junkie_RN, which is basically an educational video and hilarious glimpse of motherhood all rolled into one.

In the clip, the onscreen text reads: “POV: you forgot your breast pump on moms’ night out…but you’re all labor and delivery nurses.” The camera quickly cuts to two women dressed in gorgeous night out attire…all while hysterically giggling and hovering over the sink to express their milk down the drain.

In case anyone is wondering, the woman filming the whole thing assures viewers that “Yes, we rinsed the sink. Yes, I’m an overproducer. Yes, I (normally) donate,” in the caption.

@labor_junkie_rn yes we rinsed the sink😘 yes i’m an overpoducer. yes, i (normally) donate 😘 #ftm #pregnant #baby ♬ Funny Song - Funny Song Studio & Sounds Reel & Thomas Hewitt Jones

But rather than any finger wagging, the video actually got a ton of positive responses.

“I’m loving how this is a group activity,” one viewer wrote.

Another said, “I can feel the relief of those sprays.”

Many reminisced about their own breast pump emergency that forced them to get creative.

“I did that in Vegas on my first kid-free vacation. We got there at 11pm and the Target didn’t open until 8am. I hand expressed in the bathroom stall into toilet paper.”

“Forgot my pump for a wedding and had to hand express into the toilet during dinner time.”

“I once DoorDashed a manual pump to the venue I was at.”

Plus it became a teaching moment for some. One person wrote “OK, but still super educational! Because I didn’t realize it went in all different directions.” While another echoed, “not me, pregnant, thinking there was just one milk hole………”

There’s that funny meme that comes to mind with this story—one you’ve undoubtedly seen once or twice—that says “girlhood is a spectrum.” In our 20s, the women’s bathroom is a place where girlfriends congregate to gas each other up, fix each other’s makeup, maybe even help hold back the hair of the friend who drank too much. While certain elements might change, like swapping out the expelling alcohol for expressing breast milk, the important stuff remains the same.

In essence: the women’s bathroom will forever remain a place where girlfriends look out for one another and share a laugh as they navigate womanhood together.

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Laurence Fishburne reads epic letter from former slave to the 'master' who wanted him back

It's a powerful—and surprisingly funny—takedown of the colonel who'd enslaved him.

Photo credit: Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff (left), Public Domain (right)

Actor Laurence Fishburne and formerly enslaved man Jordan Anderson

Imagine being enslaved for over 30 years and then gaining your freedom, only to have the man who enslaved you ask you to come back and work for him a year later. Unthinkable, right?

A letter written in 1865 by Jordan (sometimes spelled "Jordon") Anderson, a formerly enslaved man in Ohio, to his former "master" Colonel P.H. Anderson in Tennessee demonstrates the ridiculousness of such a request—and offers a cathartic takedown the colonel most definitely deserved. After being freed by the Union Army in 1864, Jordan and his wife moved to Ohio to live and work. In the meantime, Colonel Anderson found that his plantation had fallen into total disrepair without the benefit of enslaved labor, so he desperately wrote to Jordan to ask him to come back and help save the property. He promised to pay Jordan and treat him as a free man if he came to work for him.

The audacity, though. Phew.

Jordan Anderson's response to his former "master" is a masterclass takedown.

Jordan didn't owe the colonel a response at all. He could have just ignored the letter and moved on with his life, but instead, he chose to dictate his response through his employer, Valentine Winters, and have it published in the Cincinnati Commercial under the title, "Letter from a Freedman to His Old Master." It was a hit. In 2023, actor Laurence Fishburne read the letter on "Letters Live" in his signature sonorous voice, and his delivery showcased the brilliance and humor in Jordan's response.

Watch:

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

The letter reads:

Dayton, Ohio,
August 7, 1865
To My Old Master, Colonel P.H. Anderson, Big Spring, Tennessee

Sir: I got your letter, and was glad to find that you had not forgotten Jordon, and that you wanted me to come back and live with you again, promising to do better for me than anybody else can. I have often felt uneasy about you. I thought the Yankees would have hung you long before this, for harboring Rebs they found at your house. I suppose they never heard about your going to Colonel Martin's to kill the Union soldier that was left by his company in their stable. Although you shot at me twice before I left you, I did not want to hear of your being hurt, and am glad you are still living. It would do me good to go back to the dear old home again, and see Miss Mary and Miss Martha and Allen, Esther, Green, and Lee. Give my love to them all, and tell them I hope we will meet in the better world, if not in this. I would have gone back to see you all when I was working in the Nashville Hospital, but one of the neighbors told me that Henry intended to shoot me if he ever got a chance.

I want to know particularly what the good chance is you propose to give me. I am doing tolerably well here. I get twenty-five dollars a month, with victuals and clothing; have a comfortable home for Mandy — the folks call her Mrs. Anderson, — and the children — Milly, Jane, and Grundy — go to school and are learning well. The teacher says Grundy has a head for a preacher. They go to Sunday school, and Mandy and me attend church regularly. We are kindly treated. Sometimes we overhear others saying, "Them colored people were slaves" down in Tennessee. The children feel hurt when they hear such remarks; but I tell them it was no disgrace in Tennessee to belong to Colonel Anderson. Many darkeys would have been proud, as I used to be, to call you master. Now if you will write and say what wages you will give me, I will be better able to decide whether it would be to my advantage to move back again.

As to my freedom, which you say I can have, there is nothing to be gained on that score, as I got my free papers in 1864 from the Provost-Marshal-General of the Department of Nashville. Mandy says she would be afraid to go back without some proof that you were disposed to treat us justly and kindly; and we have concluded to test your sincerity by asking you to send us our wages for the time we served you. This will make us forget and forgive old scores, and rely on your justice and friendship in the future. I served you faithfully for thirty-two years, and Mandy twenty years. At twenty-five dollars a month for me, and two dollars a week for Mandy, our earnings would amount to eleven thousand six hundred and eighty dollars. Add to this the interest for the time our wages have been kept back, and deduct what you paid for our clothing, and three doctor's visits to me, and pulling a tooth for Mandy, and the balance will show what we are in justice entitled to. Please send the money by Adams's Express, in care of V. Winters, Esq., Dayton, Ohio. If you fail to pay us for faithful labors in the past, we can have little faith in your promises in the future. We trust the good Maker has opened your eyes to the wrongs which you and your fathers have done to me and my fathers, in making us toil for you for generations without recompense. Here I draw my wages every Saturday night; but in Tennessee there was never any pay-day for the negroes any more than for the horses and cows. Surely there will be a day of reckoning for those who defraud the laborer of his hire.

In answering this letter, please state if there would be any safety for my Milly and Jane, who are now grown up, and both good-looking girls. You know how it was with poor Matilda and Catherine. I would rather stay here and starve — and die, if it come to that — than have my girls brought to shame by the violence and wickedness of their young masters. You will also please state if there has been any schools opened for the colored children in your neighborhood. The great desire of my life now is to give my children an education, and have them form virtuous habits.

Say howdy to George Carter, and thank him for taking the pistol from you when you were shooting at me.

From your old servant,
Jordon Anderson

It's a fitting answer to the colonel's audacity. Jordan basically raises his middle finger and tells his former enslaver where to put it, all under the guise of polite correspondence.

And nearly 160 years later, people are raving about it:

"Perfect example of how the 'slave' reveals to the 'master' his class, grace and dignity. Three cheers to him."

"What an incredible writer. Formal yet conversational, hilarious yet restrained, a respectful tone yet absolutely scathing."

"That was the most eloquent, most polite way to say the biggest F you I’ve ever heard. Amazing. I salute you sir."

"I love how, even amidst all his sarcasm and justice, down the years we can still hear how very proud he was of his children. Here’s hoping they led great lives together."

"The quietly suppressed rage just under the humor/sarcasm is brilliant. This man is amazing."

"Absolutely brilliant. This letter is savage. Never heard such eloquent sarcasm in my life. I can't believe the gall of a slave owner to attempt to "hire" one of his former slaves. Jourdon must have been 1 in a million. I hope his descendants found peace and prosperity."

"A while ago I clicked over to the Letters Live site and read this. It is my absolute favourite. Anderson is a wonderful deadpan wit who frames his argument devastatingly well. He was cheated of his calling as a writer in my view. I'm glad to know he lived to 81 years and had 11 children. We can hope his legacy lives on."

Indeed. You can find more details about Jordan Anderson's life here.

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