More

If You're Wondering How To Talk About Black People And White People, Here Are 5 Things To Keep In Mind

In this great big world, each and every one of us has privilege. I may be a gay black person, but I'm still a man. I hold advantages that women don't. So when I help a woman out through one of my more feminist posts, I have to keep certain things in mind to remain a good ally, a person who wants to fight for the equality of a marginalized group they're not a part of.Let's make sure that when we help friends who are LGBT, people of color, women, or whoever else wants to smite the patriarchy, we're actually helping.

In case you can't watch the video, here's Upworthy badass woman Franchesca Ramsey with five tips for all of us so we can be good allies.

(An ally is a person who wants to fight for the equality of a marginalized group they're not a part of.)


1. Understand your privilege.

There are some things in life you will not experience or ever have to think about just because of who you are.

It's kind of like those horses that have those blinders on. They can see just fine. There's just a whole bunch of stuff on the side that they don't even know exists.

For example, there are currently 34 states where you can legally be fired for being gay or trans.

I know.

"As a straight cis woman, those are things that I don't have to ever think about if I don't want to. I'm not going to be fired because I'm straight, and I'm not going to be fired because I'm cis. Before I can fight for the right of others, I have to understand what rights I have and others don't."

2. Listen and do your homework.

It sounds like a no-brainer, but it's not possible for you to learn if you aren't willing to listen.

What she said.

Get caught up on the issues that are important to the communities you want to support.

3. Speak up but not over.

If the fight for equality was a girl group, the ally wouldn't be the lead singer or the second lead singer. They'd be Michelle.

An ally's job is to support. You want to make sure that you use your privilege and your voice to educate others. But make sure to do it in such a way that does not speak over the community members that you're trying to support or take credit for things that they are already saying.

This isn't Mario Kart. Stay in your lane.

4. Realize that you're going to make mistakes and apologize when you do.

Nobody is perfect. Unlearning problematic things takes time and work. So you are bound to mess up and trip and fall.

But don't worry. You can brush yourself off and get right back up.

Just remember that it's not about your intent. It's about your impact. So when you get called out, make sure to listen, apologize, commit to changing your behavior, and move forward.

5. The most important thing on this list is remember that ally is a verb.

Saying you're an ally is not enough. You've got to do the work.

One through four, one through four.

You'll be the best ally around in no time.

Joy

Man uses TikTok to offer 'dinner with dad' to any kid that needs one, even adult ones

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud.

Come for the food, stay for the wholesomeness.

Summer Clayton is the father of 2.4 million kids and he couldn’t be more proud. His TikTok channel is dedicated to giving people intimate conversations they might long to have with their own father, but can’t. The most popular is his “Dinner With Dad” segment.

The concept is simple: Clayton, aka Dad, always sets down two plates of food. He always tells you what’s for dinner. He always blesses the food. He always checks in with how you’re doing.

I stress the stability here, because as someone who grew up with a less-than-stable relationship with their parents, it stood out immediately. I found myself breathing a sigh of relief at Clayton’s consistency. I also noticed the immediate emotional connection created just by being asked, “How was your day?” According to relationship coach and couples counselor Don Olund, these two elements—stability and connection—are fundamental cravings that children have of their parents. Perhaps we never really stop needing it from them.


Keep Reading Show less

Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani wows audiences with his amazing musical talents.

Mozart was known for his musical talent at a young age, playing the harpsichord at age 4 and writing original compositions at age 5. So perhaps it's fitting that a video of 5-year-old piano prodigy Alberto Cartuccia Cingolani playing Mozart has gone viral as people marvel at his musical abilities.

Alberto's legs can't even reach the pedals, but that doesn't stop his little hands from flying expertly over the keys as incredible music pours out of the piano at the 10th International Musical Competition "Città di Penne" in Italy. Even if you've seen young musicians play impressively, it's hard not to have your jaw drop at this one. Sometimes a kid comes along who just clearly has a gift.

Of course, that gift has been helped along by two professional musician parents. But no amount of teaching can create an ability like this.

Keep Reading Show less

TikTok about '80s childhood is a total Gen X flashback.

As a Gen X parent, it's weird to try to describe my childhood to my kids. We're the generation that didn't grow up with the internet or cell phones, yet are raising kids who have never known a world without them. That difference alone is enough to make our 1980s childhoods feel like a completely different planet, but there are other differences too that often get overlooked.

How do you explain the transition from the brown and orange aesthetic of the '70s to the dusty rose and forest green carpeting of the '80s if you didn't experience it? When I tell my kids there were smoking sections in restaurants and airplanes and ashtrays everywhere, they look horrified (and rightfully so—what were we thinking?!). The fact that we went places with our friends with no quick way to get ahold of our parents? Unbelievable.

One day I described the process of listening to the radio, waiting for my favorite song to come on so I could record it on my tape recorder, and how mad I would get when the deejay talked through the intro of the song until the lyrics started. My Spotify-spoiled kids didn't even understand half of the words I said.

And '80s hair? With the feathered bangs and the terrible perms and the crunchy hair spray? What, why and how?

Keep Reading Show less