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Democracy

More than seven thousand people shared their best ideas to stop mass shootings. Here are the best.

Everyone agrees mass shootings need to end. But what can really be done?

mass shootings, mass shooting prevention, red flags

A makeshift memorial after the 2019 El Paso mass shooting.

As of January 24, 2023, at least 69 people have been killed in 39 mass shootings across the United States . The deadliest shooting happened on January 21 in Monterey Park, California, when a 72-year-old man shot 20 people, killing 11. On January 23, a 66-year-old man killed 7 people and injured another in a shooting in Half Moon Bay, California.

It’s hard to see these stories in the news every few weeks—or days—and not get desensitized, especially when lawmakers have made it clear that they will not do anything substantive to curb the availability of assault weapons in the U.S.

After the assault weapons ban, which had been in effect for 10 years, lapsed in 2004, the number of mass shootings tripled.



To find a glimmer of hope in such a dire situation, Reddit user Themissrebecca103 asked the online forum, “What could be done to prevent mass shootings?” and received nearly 16,000 responses. Many of the solutions looked past the intractable gun debate to the root causes that drive people to act out violently.

mass shootings, mass shooting stats, mass shooting history

Total Deaths in US Mass Shootings 1982-2021.

via Wikimedia Commons

Here are seven of the most thought-provoking potential solutions to the mass shooting problem.

1. Change attitudes around guns.

"There's no quick answer, in part because 'mass shootings' combine many different underlying issues.

If we are talking about high-profile mass shootings, our problem in the USA relates to several overlapping issues:

It is relatively easy to acquire firearms. The legal mechanisms to deny a high risk person firearms are very limited. Every country produces a small percentage of deeply problematic people; ours is unique in arming them.

American culture around firearms is deeply problematic. Other heavily armed wealthy nations, like the commonly compared Switzerland, make the use of firearms a responsibility of being a good citizen. American culture all too often celebrates firearms as an extra-legal tool for imposing your will.

The modern world is a lonely world. People spend much more time alone now. This gets far beyond the scope of this reply, but many of our traditional social organizations have failed to adapt to the modern world. Young people are increasingly left without a community or direction. This amplifies the above issues.

Combined, these speak to mass shootings as a consequence of low social cohesion on a legal, cultural, and institutional level. Addressing that is multi-generational work." — CxEnsign

2. Take mental health seriously.

"Make therapy more easily accessible for people who are middle or lower class. And actually take mental health and bullying seriously, instead of falsely advocating for it and brushing it off when people need serious mental help." — AshtheArtist

monterey park, mass shooting california, star ballroom dance

The makeshift memorial outside Star Ballroom Dance Studio in Monterey Park on January 23rd 2023.

via Wikimedia Commons

3. Do something about red flags.

"People need to have real honest conversations with their loved ones and friends when the red flags go flying. Many of these shootings are not random and the warning signs were present. Help that woman escape her abuser, tell your brother to grow the fuck up and stop being abusive, take your son’s firearms when you know they are an abusive alcoholic, etc… Most of these people don’t live in isolation and people turn a blind eye because they feel it’s not their problem or place to insert themselves. Be brave and speak up. It could save someone’s life." — SometimesILieToo

4. Change the media.

Shut down the news stations and pundits which are drumming up mentally ill people into thinking they're in a fight-for-your-life scenario which justifies mass murder to them?" — ConnieHormoneMonster

5. Foster the development of happy, healthy people.

"Usually in these mass acts of violence, there are signs that people see beforehand. Posts made online, behavior at work or school or at home, basically a known history of struggle. By the time the incidents occur, there's always a person that knew them before, that saw it coming a mile away.

There aren't really resources or protocols for people like this, and removing the weapons from their hands feels like a band aid solution to a much bigger problem.

Happy, healthy people don't go on mass killing sprees, and our current environment isn't exactly producing healthy, happy people. I mean, just look at how many of us are on prescription drugs because we can't cope with the way society is set up. We're on drugs for depression and anxiety and emotional regulation and hormonal regulation because everything is imbalanced. Almost all of us are poor, just a couple of missed paychecks away from being homeless. We're constantly seeking mental stimulation because if we have to think beyond the surface for a minute we start falling apart. We're battling malnutrition without even realizing it because most of us are battling obesity. In other countries the raw fruits and veggies taste better and are more filling, people will travel and lose weight despite eating many of the same kinds of foods, the only difference is the lack of chemicals and preservatives inside.

This society isn't producing happy, healthy people. And some of us can cope with it better than others.

Here, there are three options. You can work 40+ hours a week from the ages of 18 to the day you die and barely make ends meet, you can try an alternative path and end up homeless or close to it, or you can basically win a lottery that either lets you comfortably work less than 40 hours a week, allows you to retire early, or lets you pursue a lucrative passion that doesn't feel like work. Most of us choose the first option.

You can disarm them, but then you've still got creatives that will use their cars or craft an explosive.

Treatment is probably the second best option we have. Ideally, we would know someone that sets off alarm bells, and we could call a doctor for them. They'd spend a few months getting help, and come back better.

But that isn't how it's set up. There aren't resources for this. You can't force people to get therapy. You can't just call the cops on people that haven't committed a crime, because you think one day they might commit a crime.
And it sucks, because we all know the signs. Sometimes we try to call someone for help, and there just isn't a department for that.

The best option would be to create a better environment for everyone, encourage community and friendships and strengthen the bond between people to promote love and harmony, fix the food situation, fix the income situation, promote better and more diverse ways of living. Because if you don't feel depressed and angry and alone, you won't be at risk of falling into the mindset of someone who does these sorts of things.

America's gun violence is a symptom of a much larger problem, and the ones who want to fix that problem don't have the means to do so. The ones who have the means to fix it either don't know why it's happening, or don't care why it's happening.

Until we stop offering bandaid solutions that would be ineffective or minimally effective, we will continue to see this kind of behavior." — SourBlue1992

barack obama, sandy hook shooting, mass shooting

President Barack Obama delivers a statement in the James S. Brady Press Briefing Room of the White House regarding the mass shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut, Dec. 14, 2012.

via Wikimedia Commons

6. It starts at home.

"As a teacher, it starts with kids needing love and care at home, which leads to people having their basic Maslow needs met so they aren’t constantly struggling. And mental health needs to become a priority instead of something we mostly ignore in the US. Kids (and adults) seek power and a sense of control through a gun because it’s missing in the rest of their life." — Amherst 2023

7. Stop turning shooters into celebrities in the media.

I'm British. I don't know what's best for Americans as well as they do. But here's some thoughts:

I don't think you can copy-paste UK policy to the US. it's like changing someone's intrinsic identity. Take Iran for example. One of the lowest alcohol mortality rates. Imagine an Iranian saying to a British person 'why don't you just ban alcohol! It causes so much death. We banned it and our rate of mortality due to alcohol is one of the lowest in the world.'

You'd say something like "why should I give up something I enjoy and is part of my culture because a few bad apples take it too far?"

From talking to them, Americans view guns the same way. 'Why does someone else doing wrong with guns have any bearing on me who's just using it for fun/protection?'

I'd say a mix is gun regulations and mental health support and not making martyrs of shooters has the best chance." — allthetaimpdetime

Some responses have been edited for length.

A photo collage from the movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

It's really interesting what nearly 35 years does to the lens of perspective. When my friend invited me to join her family for their once-a-month movie night, she asked which John Hughes movie she should show her 14-year-old twins. The answer was obvious. It had to be something fun, school-related, and iconic. Ferris Bueller's Day Off seemed to be the perfect choice as we Gen X-ers loved it when we were exactly their age in 1986.

The fraternal twins (one boy, one girl) sat down on a rare early Saturday evening when neither had dance practice or a sleepover. We gathered in our comfy clothes, popped some popcorn, and hit "rent now."

They were excited by the opening scene, where an adorable Matthew Broderick (doesn't matter what generation one is, he transcends them all) is pretending to be sick in bed with worrying parents. His sister Jeanie is suspicious and exhausted by his antics, but Ferris prevails. He then proceeds to give a brilliant monologue about eating life up and living in the moment. His now-famous line, Life moves pretty fast. If you don’t stop and look around once in a while, you could miss it,” is still plastered in quote books and on Bumble profiles.

The twins seemed inspired, and one of them actually teared up in the first five minutes.

The opening scene from Ferris Bueller's Day Off.www.youtube.com, Paramount Pictures, Film Studies Fundamntals

Spoilers ahead: the movie is pretty simple. Ferris is a super cool high school kid with a beautiful girlfriend, Sloane, played by Mia Sara. His best friend is a depressed hypochondriac named Cameron, who is played to perfection by Alan Ruck. Ferris skips school a lot (nine times!) and grabs each day by the neck. There are themes of Hedonism, Nihilism, and Taoism, but neither of the twins mentioned that.

The first thing both kids DID bring up (after being delighted by the shower monologue) was how privileged the characters were. Affluent Chicago suburbs, after all, was the setting John Hughes knew best. They also noted, as many have over the years, that Ferris seemed rather selfish and insensitive to what others in his life wanted and needed.

Ferris Bueller, 80s movies, Gen X, Gen ZA Ferris Buellers Day Off Film GIFGiphy Paramount Pictures

There have been many conversations over the years about Cameron being the true hero of the film. He has a story arc, unlike Ferris, that is unwavering. He's sad, but pushes through it and even gets the guts up to stand up to his father after a Ferrari incident.

In fact, there was a theory that Ferris was a figment of Cameron's imagination—a Fight Club scenario, if you will. Robert Vaux writes on CBR, "The theory holds that the entire day is a fantasy taking place in Cameron's head while he lies sick in bed. His sickness actually supports the theory: once Ferris comes over, it vanishes, and Cameron plunges energetically, if reluctantly, into the events of the day. According to the theory, it's because there are no events of the day. He's still sick at home, and the whole thing is a daydream."

cameron, ferris bueller's day off, 80s movies, john hughes, gen x, gen zCameron GIF in Ferris Buellers Day Off 80SGiphy, Paramount Pictures

I fully expected the twins to have similar thoughts. If not the Fight Club part, at least the idea that Cameron was the true protagonist. But what they (both of them) said instead was shocking. "No," the daughter told me. "I mean, I liked Ferris and I loved Cameron. But it's Jeanie who's the hero here."

Jeanie, the sister mentioned earlier, was played with pure rage by Jennifer Grey. She spends most of the movie attempting to narc on Ferris rather than enjoying her own beautiful day. She is angry and determined until…she meets a "bad boy" at the county jail, played complete with bloodshot eyes by Charlie Sheen.

Taken aback, their mom pushed back. "Jeanie, the sister? Why?"

The son answers, "She just changes the most. She starts out, like, having it in for Ferris. Really, having it in for EVERYONE. And then she just like figures it out." The daughter adds, "Yeah, in the end she was rooting for Ferris. She came the farthest from where she started and she's the one who kinda saved him."

Jennifer Grey meets Charlie Sheen in Ferris Bueller's Day Off.www.youtube.com, Paramount Pictures, Tvoldy23

Gobsmacked, I turned to Reddit for more answers. In the subreddit r/movies, someone recently posted, "Something I noticed about Ferris Bueller's Day Off." They then proceed to drive the Cameron theory forward. "At the start of the film, Cameron is in bed sickly and not really confident in himself, but as the movie progresses, he starts to get more confidence, and by the end, he gains the courage to stand up to his father."

A Redditor replies with this thoughtful answer: "I've heard it called a flat character arc when the protagonist doesn't change but is instead the catalyst for those around them to change. It's hard to pull off but is often the most satisfying kind of character. Ted Lasso (especially in season one) is a good example."

Others echo that idea, offering up characters like Forrest Gump and The Dude from The Big Lebowski. They stayed exactly the same while the world or others in their lives changed around them. It's described on a YouTube clip as "The moment you realize the main character is not actually the main character."

The movie Ferris Bueller's Day Off is dissected. www.youtube.com, Paramount Pictures, CinemaStix

This would give credence to the twins' opinion. But I'd never heard anyone choose Jeanie before, and they weren't swayed by Grey's performance in Dirty Dancing because they haven't seen it yet. When pressed one more time, their answer didn't change. "No doubt, it's the sister. She should have a spinoff." Their mom was so proud and we all totally agree.

Pop Culture

25 long-forgotten everyday items that only your grandparents would recognize

We're not talking rotary phones. These legit feel like they're from another world.

Get ready to go full throttle down memory lane.

Time passes and things change, not just in the broad collective strokes of how we approach health, family, love, and work, but even in how we navigate day-to-day life. Especially when it comes to convenience. Objects that seemed cutting edge back in the day now seem like arduous relics. Seriously, can you imagine going back to a time when Alexa didn’t play your morning jams and read off our to-do list for the day? No thank you!

On that note, someone recently asked, "What were some everyday objects from your youth or your parents/grandparents’ youth that an adult today wouldn’t know about?” Elaborating further, they added, “I’m not talking about a rotary telephone or the milk man coming by the door. I’m talking about ubiquitous things no one can even remember.”

While answers varied, one prevailing theme was the amount of effort required by so many of these everyday objects. And yet, that was their charm—forcing folks to be a bit more in the moment. Similarly, just the way some things were made to last longer, have better quality, etc. is a stark contrast to the mass production single-use mentality we have now. Even still, I think some of these items we’re more than glad to be rid of (see # 3)

Without further ado, here are some of those long gone objects:

1. "Mascara that came in a little box, like eyeshadow. There was also a little brush that came with it."


2. "Cream rinse. After shampooing, you'd put a capful of cream rinse in a glass of water and pour the whole thing over your hair to detangle. That was before we had conditioners."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

3. "Belted maxi pads."
@sunnyperiod low key want to get my hands on a vintage sanitary belt 👀 #periodtok #blackhistorymonth #pads #marykenner ♬ original sound - Sunny

“Don't forget the incinerettes on the ladies room wall to burn those suckers. That was free at least,” someone added.

4. "Sardine cans that came with a key to open them."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

5. "TVs or radios that you had to wait for them to 'warm up' for a few seconds before they worked. And who remembers color bars'? When the station would just show colored bars for a minute to give you time to adjust the color on your set?"
6. "A booklet to keep S&H Green Stamps or Blue Chip Stamps."

- YouTubeyoutube.com

7. “Clamp-on steel kids’ roller skates.”

roller skates, vintage, old, metal, steel, Remember these?i.ebayimg.com

8. "Imagine, if you will, a world where you drive into a gas station, and a man in uniform comes out and asks what octane you want. Then, he proceeds to open the hood and check your oil level and radiator fluid. After, he washes ALL the car windows, takes your money, and thanks you for stopping by."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

9. "The first time Catholic girls were allowed to wear 'stockings' was during their Confirmation. It was a rite of passage, and mine was in 1968. The stockings were scratchy, thigh-high things held up by these weird garter belts with rubbery clips."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

10. "Paregoric. It was given to us kids who had diarrhea. It was opium! You won't see that in medicine cabinets anymore."
11. "Darning needles and darning yarn. In the 1960s (more or less), it was still worthwhile to darn socks. But by the 1980s, socks were cheap enough that darning was mostly a thing of the past. Maybe it's just me, though. Does anyone still darn socks?"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

12. "A mangle ironing machine."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

13."Mercury oral thermometers. Had a fever? Your thermometer was made of glass and filled with mercury. Yes, that mercury. The temperature would lock in, so you'd have to shake the thermometer before using it. Every now and again, one would drop and shatter, so you'd have a few drops of liquid mercury to play with! What kid doesn't want to play with mercury? I wish I were kidding. Fun times!"
14. "The little plastic piece you put in the hole on a 45 record that would make it fit and play on the record player."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

15. "A tabletop clamp-on meat grinder."
16. "Colored toilet paper."

gen x, boomer, vintage items, vintage makeup, vintage clothes, history, cool history, fun history, ask reddit, ask old peopleAn example of vintage colored toilet paper. preview.redd.it

17. "My grandmother had a telephone desk, similar to a school desk. It had a chair and a small table where the large, heavy rotary desk phone sat, and on the side was a wire rack for the directory and Yellow Pages."

gen x, boomer, vintage items, vintage makeup, vintage clothes, history, cool history, fun history, ask reddit, ask old peopleThis could still be useful. i.ebayimg.com

18. "McDonald's french fries used to be cooked in beef tallow. The taste was phenomenally good and nothing like the bland ones of today."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

19. "Crank handles to start tractors. There were no push buttons back then."

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

20. "Toothpaste came in a can! It looked like a 1930s-era whiskey flask and contained pumice powder and flavoring. You'd open the lid, wet your toothbrush, rub it in the powder, and brush your teeth. Then, you'd just repeat the processes as needed."
@jasminechiswell Swatching 100 years of TOOTHPASTE!! 😲Ommgggg why do they still smell like that?!!! 😳 Also what happened to the 30s 😳😲
♬ original sound - Jasmine Chiswell
21.“The little triangle window on a car we called the 'windbreaker'--you had to open that so you could put your window down while driving so there wasn't as much noise. A/C was not standard. Also, curb indicators on cars.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

22.“Pantyhose in eggs.”

(This is in reference to the distinctive plastic egg-shaped container in which L'eggs pantyhose were sold.)

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

23. “One thing that was often seen back in my youth and for a year I also had them but I haven't seen for a couple of decades are metal heel plates (also known as ‘taps’) to prevent boot and shoe heels from wearing down.
@elliot_duprey Quick lil tip and how-to! And no, they dont actually make the “tap” sound. Also, cobblers have benches. #mensfashion #fashiontiktok #tipsandtricks #fashionhacks #cobbler #secondhand ♬ Storytelling - Adriel
24. “Hershey's chocolate bars used to come in foil. Peeling it off was satisfying.”

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

Last but not least…

25. “Jelly-jar drinking glasses with cartoon characters on them.”

gen x, boomer, vintage items, vintage makeup, vintage clothes, history, cool history, fun history, ask reddit, ask old peopleThese need to come back. i.etsystatic.com

This article originally appeared in April

A stressed millennial mom and her parents.

The baby boomer generation is often called the "Me Generation" because after the social upheaval of the ‘60s, they began to focus on themselves, prioritizing wealth accumulation, personal growth, self-help programs, and fitness. Now that baby boomers are grandparents, some millennials aren’t too happy that the Me Generation has taken that ethos into their golden years.

Although it’s important not to paint every generation member with the same brush, many older millennial parents feel that their baby boomer parents, known for being the least involved in recent history, are acting the same way as grandparents. Mother Phyllis, a popular TikToker with much to say about boomer grandparents, recently shared a video about how her parents live 40 minutes away and put very little effort into being grandparents, but brag about how much they love their grandchildren on social media.

The crux of Phyllis’ point is that older millennials had grandparents involved in their lives, but their parents don’t have the same dedication.

@motherphyllis

Can anyone else relate?????? I should’ve said absent grandmother’s not grandparents but y’all know what I mean 🤣 #fyp #fypシ #fypage #viral #fyp #viral #millennial #boomer #momlife #mom #sahm #funny @laneige_us

“My mom comes over for her yearly visit and snaps a picture of the kids. Or sometimes she doesn't even do that. She'll just take a picture off my Facebook page, post it to her Facebook page, and say, 'I love hanging out with my grandkids so much,'" Phillis says in a video with over 200,000 views. “They're so amazing. And then her friends comment and say, ‘Being a grandparent is so amazing, it's just so great.’” Phyillis adds that when she had a child, her boomer parents didn’t show much interest in helping after her birth, saying that helping out was her husband's job.

millennials, baby boomers, baby boomer grandparents, absentee grandparents, generational complaints, active grandparentsA boomer grandma ready to post on Facebook.via Canva/Photos

The post resonated with many people in the comments who are having the same struggles with their boomer parents. "Their parents raised us. They didn’t even want to be parents, so they’re sure as hell not gonna be grandparents," Kim wrote. "I mean, you think having boomer grandparents are bad, try having them raise you. Generation X basically raised ourselves because they’re busy," Queen added.

A big reason why parents like Phyliis feel betrayed by their parents for refusing to be involved in their children’s lives is that they probably had grandparents who were involved in theirs. Many older millennials and Gen Xers had grandparents involved in their upbringing, providing daycare, babysitting, and making social visits, because their grandmothers were raised to be homemakers and didn’t have jobs. So their lifestyle was more geared to taking care of children. Boomer women were much more likely to have had careers and still work to this day.

@motherphyllis

Millennials just can’t understand the way some boomers act If I’m being honest ##fyp##foryoupage##fypシ##fypage##mom##sahm##momlife##honest##truth##relatable##millennial##boomer##generation##millennialstothemoon##phyllis

“Here’s the thing, though: it’s statistically more likely that your own grandmothers were homemakers, at least from the time they had children,” DeeDee Moore, a grandparenting influencer, writes for Scary Mommy. “They were home to watch you after school, or host you and your cousins for weeks during the summer. Starting with the baby boomer generation, women were more likely to be in the workforce, making babysitting grandkids and cousin camp harder to pull off.”

While parents like Phyllis have a good reason to be upset that their parents aren’t involved in their children’s lives, everyone’s situation is different, so we can’t bash all boomers for being uninvolved in their grandchildren’s lives. However, their accusation does follow a significant generational trend: Gen Xers and older Millennials, known by some as Generation Goonie, were raised in a world with very little parental involvement. So, it's unsurprising that their children have grandparents who may not be around much.

This article originally appeared in April

Photo courtesy of Kerry Hyde

Do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on? Science answers.

Cat owners sometimes have unique questions that even Google doesn't always have the answer to. This is probably the sole reason cat forums exist, but one kid who needed a 6th grade science project decided to skip the cat forums for answers and instead use the scientific method. Kaeden Henry, a sixth grader living in Florida, bravely pondered a question few (if any one) has been brave enough to ask: do cat buttholes touch every surface they sit on?

Since cats do whatever the heck they want, training them not to jump on kitchen counters is a feat even Hercules struggles to complete. These fierce felines don't care if you're cooking dinner or trying to get comfy in bed. If they want to sit somewhere, they're going to do it. The thought of cat butts on that expensive Serta pillow designed to feel like you're sleeping on a cloud can gross people out, but thanks to Kaeden, you no longer have to wonder if the butthole itself is also making contact.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The curious sixth grader is homeschooled and well-versed in the scientific method thanks to her mother's PhD in animal behavior with a concentration in feline behavior. And, since they own cats, the science experiment was pretty straightforward (and directly impactful).

To complete the experiment, Henry and his mom, Kerry Hyde, bought non-toxic lipstick and applied it to each of their cat's anuses. Then, the cats were given commands.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"Non-toxic lipstick was applied to their bum-bums, they were then given a series of commands (sit, wait, lie down, and jump up. Side note: Both cats have been trained since kittenhood with a variety of commands, they also know how to high-five, spin around, and speak.), they were compensated with lots of praise, pets, and their favorite treats, and the lipstick was removed with a baby wipe once we collected our data in just under 10 minutes," Hyde wrote in a Facebook post.

The results? Turns out that, no, cat buttholes do not touch every surface cats sit on. Now, let's all take a collective sigh of relief while we go over the details. Kaeden's experiment covered long-haired, short-haired, and medium-haired cats (if your cat is hairless, you better stock up on Clorox wipes just in case).

"His results and general findings: Long and medium haired cat’s buttholes made NO contact with soft or hard surfaces at all. Short haired cats made NO contact on hard surfaces. But we did see evidence of a slight smear on the soft bedding surface. Conclusion, if you have a short haired cat and they may be lying on a pile of laundry, an unmade bed, or other soft uneven surface, then their butthole MAY touch those surfaces!" Hyde shares.

Now every curious cat owner can rest easy knowing that as long as their cat has hair, their bare bottom balloon knot is not touching the majority of surfaces in their home.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

The amusing experiment caught the Internet's attention. People laughed and commented, with one person writing, "This is probably the most useful information I’ve learned from a science fair project."

"Good to know!...I can now eat my sandwich left on the counter with confidence!" another writes.

Courtesy of Kerry Hyde

"A+++!!! Whew!! I am very grateful for your sciencing on this subject. My fears from walking in on my cat sitting on my laptop keyboard and subsequently being grossed out and cleaning furiously in a hyper-ocd manner have been somewhat allayed and now maybe I won’t have to use QUIIITE so many wipes." someone chimes in.

"Finally.. Someone answers the important questions!!"

This article originally appeared in April

If you lived through an 80s childhood, this will send you back.

Generation X, made up of those born between 1965 and 1980, has many claims-to-fame in their younger years game. Gen X brought the world Prince and Kurt Cobain. We were The Goonies and The Breakfast Club.We took down the Berlin Wall while watching MTV.

But perhaps the most iconic thing about Gen X is our semi-feral childhoods of benign neglect. The standards of parenting and child rearing have shifted a lot in the past 40 to 50 years, as has the technological landscape that kids grow up in, so naturally, today's kids won't have the same childhoods previous generations had. But there's something particularly nostalgic about being a child of the 80s for those who lived it.

One mom nailed the experience with a video reenactment of what it was like to come home from school in the 80s. Elizabeth Stevens (@BennettPeach on YouTube) arrives at the front door in her backpack, then pulls out a house key on a string around her neck. (Ah, the "latchkey kid" era when children were expected to come home to an empty house and let themselves in.)

Then she goes into the kitchen in her Care Bears t-shirt and finds a handwritten note—in cursive, of course—on the back of an envelope. "Working late—make your own dinner, watch your brother and the dishes better be done when I get home from bowling. – Mom"

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

That's right. Mom wasn't just working late, she was also going bowling while her kids were home caring for themselves.

Then we see her washing the dishes despite barely being able to reach the faucet, even with a stool, and then her making a Gen X staple—the cinnamon-sugar and butter sandwich. On white bread, of course.

In just one minute, Stevens managed to capture the essence of so many Gen X memories, as commenters shared:

"The mom notes on an unopened bill is memories."

"Nailed it! The best thing about growing up in the '70s/'80's was being ALLOWED to grow up."

"Why this video made me almost cry?? How quiet it is inside the home. Lovely."

child doing dishes, 80s childhood, gen x childhoodKids did chores at home alone after school in the 80s. Photo credit: Canva

"Facts!!! No babysitter, go in the house, read the note, do the chores n not let anybody in!!!! I remember the homemade the 'cinnamon bun.'"

"70s and 80s … latch key kid here elementary, junior high and high school. we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."

"Just so frickin on point!!! All of it from the clothes to the key on the necklace to the note. Even what you chose to do for a snack. Too good!!! The windbreaker that's memories. It's all coming back to me now lol thank you for this. You have brought a huge grin to both me and my inner child."

Ah, the 80s.Giphy

"I was met with a note everyday, too. On the back of an envelope, my daily chores would be listed. If I was in trouble, I would cry as soon as I saw the note....lolol Love you momma. How I wished I could have saved those notes! They were historical treasures."

Tons of people gushed over the nostalgia of remembering those "good old days" when they were given both freedom and responsibility, with many saying kids today have no idea. One thing that might surprise the younger generations was how young the theoretical kid in this video could have been. We're not talking about young teens here—kids as young as 5 or 6 could be latchkey kids, and kids any older than that were often given responsibility for looking after younger siblings. Even official babysitting jobs could start around age 11, or sometimes even younger.

Gen X kids had learned to take care of themselves early on, which has its pros and cons. The rose-colored glasses many Gen X adults view their childhoods through can sometimes cloud the parts that were not so great about growing up in the 70s and 80s. Sure, that benign neglect resulted in resilience and independence, but for some that came at the cost of parental relationships and a sense of safety and security. We have more knowledge now about things like mental health support, parent-child attachment, and healthy relationship dynamics, and some of that learning is reflected in shifting parenting practices.

As often happens, the pendulum may have swung too far from the absent parents of the 70s and 80s to the helicopter parents of the 90s and 2000s, of course, and the "right" approach (if there is one) probably lies somewhere in the middle. But it is still fun to look back on those iconic childhood experiences with joy and humor and appreciate that they helped us become who we are today.

This article originally appeared in April