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How one actor turned her brush with street harassment into a raucous, emotional concert.

Three years ago, Diana Oh was followed down the street and viciously catcalled by a group of men in an SUV.

In the wake of that incident, the New York City-based actor and musician sat down in Times Square in her lingerie in front of a stack of paper bags arranged on a soapbox.

One bag read, "The world bends over backward to make excuses for male violence." She stood there, silent, for hours, as passersby stared, applauded, jeered, and, occasionally, joined in.


Photo by Jeremy Daniel.

That installation, titled {my lingerie play}, garnered a raft of national media attention (in Upworthy and elsewhere) and spawned nine further installments, which eventually came together in a raucous storytelling concert that follows Oh's struggle to assert her voice and exist without fear of abuse as a queer woman of color in America.

Now remounted at Rattlestick Playwrights Theater in New York after two years of development, the concert seesaws between tales from Oh's childhood and life in New York City and its anthemic songs, laid down by a hugely talented, synced-up band (full disclosure: Oh and I once collaborated together on a theatrical project). Where the piece truly transcends are in its audacious — and plentiful — moments of audience participation, including an on-stage haircut and an electric make-out session (more on that later). Audience members are encouraged to write their own messages on paper bags before the show and take one home at the end, either their own or someone else's.  

Oh, who grew up the child of working-class immigrant parents in Southern California, is a magnetic, open-hearted, and funny performer. She transforms the show's wrenching subject matter into a celebration of life, difference, and voice. She considers the stage show, with its message of joyful resistance and predominately performer-of-color cast, a radical statement.

"We do what we want," Oh says. "I do what I want on that stage. And that is a revolutionary act, to see a queer woman of color who is Korean-American get to be ... doing what I want on that stage."

As the Harvey Weinstein scandal sinks toward an unknown bottom, and #MeToo stories continue to spread, I sat down with Oh to discuss the performance, its call to arms, her belief that white critics frequently get art made by people of color wrong, how much work putting together a diverse team required, and why that work feels worth it.

(This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.)

Photo by Jeremy Daniel.

There's a moment, late in the concert, where you talk about the frightening experience you had on the street and how it led to the genesis of {my lingerie play}. What was the moment like when you decided, "I'm going to stand on a soapbox in my underwear in Times Square"?

My roommate was like, "Do you want this thing someone is throwing away outside? It's a soapbox." I remember I saw it, and it was turned over, so it looked like an open box, and then I turned it upside down, and it was like, "Oh my God. A soapbox. I know what soapboxes are. People used to use them. They used to stand up on them and talk about their feelings." And I was like, "OK, I think this is something. And then that was it. Before I even knew, like knew,what a soapbox was, I primally knew what a soapbox was. My memory, my previous life or something like that. It was like a spiritual something, where it was just like, my spirit knows that I have to be with this thing.

I knew that I wanted it to be silent. I knew that I just wanted to stand there and make a point, and I wasn't going to yell, and I wasn't going to be frantic.

How did you choose the location?

It was the most public location I could think of, and it was like the center of the universe, and anywhere else would have been too subtle. I was done being subtle. I don't want to be subtle anymore.

Diana Oh. Photo by Jeremy Daniel.

I was already writing this piece [for the stage]. And then eventually, I was like, "This is crap." Because all the people who know not to treat people like shit are going to come to the theater and be like, "I'm doing so great." It came out of being frustrated that I was choosing a bubble — that my art form was actually a bubble. Knowing the things I had to say, I wanted it blasted to the universe. So that's where the street installations came in.

It's very bold, obviously. You're standing there and you know that the people walking by you — it's not necessarily safe. What was the experience you expected to have?

I don't even know. It was like I blacked out. It was like something came over me. I didn't even have an expectation. I just knew that I had to. I had zero expectations.

"Every step of the way, I feel like, I always have agency. Always. And that is the power behind this piece." — Diana Oh

Being out there, it was a mix. A lot of people were like, "Thank you," and a lot of other people were like, "I don't understand? Why are we seeing more women in their underwear. I just don't get it."  

In thinking about the stage show, and selling it, was there something you came up with that was like, "This is how we're going to get people in who wouldn't ordinarily come?"

I'm a theater nerd at heart. And I believe in collecting people in a room together and having a powerful, spiritual experience. And that's a gift that only theater can give. So that's what I knew. In terms of marketing or selling it in any way, it was less about that than about "join in." The revolution can't be bought. I cannot sell the revolution. I don't own the revolution, so it's not mine to sell. But I can join the revolution, and you can join with me. And you can give your time and your support, and that's it.

In terms of this year, 2017, with this concert, the thing I keep rubbing up against right now is this concert is for the people and by the people. I can sense that there's a great chasm in between the people and theater culture and the theater critic world.

What sort of divide?

The divide I sense is in what we're doing. And I believe the people who come to it believe in it. And I believe the people of color who are in the audience are a direct result of us making sure that people of color are making the work. The culture of the room needs to be right for the culture of the room. And I wish you could write down this dance move.

I'll write down what you're doing.

[Oh does a breaststroke in the air, as if releasing, then corralling, a litter of puppies.]

The chasm I find is — I call it the "theater helmet." When people put on their theater helmet, that's like, "Ah-ha. I know how to take this work in because I am incredibly educated. I come from a lot of privilege. I studied many many things. And I come from a very certain socioeconomic background. And now I am deemed as a professional thinker in the arts. I know what good art is." But when it gets to be the same people with the same backgrounds commenting on what good art is, you can feel that commentary. You can feel the difference in experience an audience member is having versus a theater critic who has had a lot of schooling.

Guitarist Matt Park. Photo by Jeremy Daniel.

One of the things that I connect with is that many people of color have grown up in messy households. And I find that to be very true. Even if we're wealthy, even if we're becoming doctors or whatnot, there's a certain mess to our households by virtue of us straddling this dual citizenship in the world. And I think it's this messiness that our educated theater critic cohort don't quite know and understand. Understandably — because why would they? They didn't grow up in these messy households. So there's a certain hunger that I feel from them to have neatness.

Do you think there's a solution? Do you think there's something these critics and theater professionals can do to put in the work to come to a better understanding, or do you think it really has to be a change in personnel?

Does it have to be a change of personnel? Sure. Absolutely. Do I want to see more of my artist-of-color friends being reviewed by writers of color? Absolutely. Because I feel like we would feel more seen. It wouldn't feel so dimming. It would just feel like, "Oh my gosh, you see me. Thank you."

I think part of the nature of the game is, "I dispense my wisdom from up on this perch," and that in itself creates a resistance to listening. Because you get so many people telling you, from angles, who are mad at you for giving their shows a bad review, so I wonder if part of it is, you create this wall.

That sounds like a terrible life. I don't know why anyone would choose it.

The night I was there, at least, you had a very young audience, very diverse, all genders and ethnicities and ages. Not the typical profile of a theater audience. What does that feel like, that you made that happen?

That feels like we did the work. That feels like, I fucking fought for that. I'm done with subtlety, and I'm done with being silent. And if I'm feeling an instinct, I'm feeling an instinct. If these young people need to be reached out to, they need to be reached out to. And our collaborators need to represent the houses that we want. We have a big problem if the majority of our group is white or cisgender or straight. We've got a really big, big problem. And so we have to queer our room so that we can queer our room.

You spent five months looking for a female bassist of color. Was it important to you to have a woman of color in that specific role, or was it because you didn't have that represented already in the band?

Oh (L) with bassist Rocky Vega (R). Photo by Jeremy Daniel.

It just was really important that it extended beyond parity, that it extended beyond equality, that it was more about just representing my upbringing. I wanted more than one Asian person because I was tired of being the token Asian. I wanted that there, and I knew the bassist had to be a person of color, and I didn't want to be the only woman or non-binary or queer person in the band.

People often talk about, "If you're really committed to find full representation, you just have to look harder." What was that process like for you?

It was exactly that. So much digging, so many emails, so much asking friends of friends. And even with bass player Rocky Vega, we found her, we found this spirit, we found a voice, we found her politics, everything. And we still had to be like, "Let's teach you the instrument." Because we could find all these capable bassists, but also the ability to sing and do harmony and stand up on stage with us in their underwear and be liberated.

Where did you find her?

Guitarist Matt Park had done "Peer Gynt" with her, and he was like, "Rocky is so awesome." And for a long time, we were like, "Oh my gosh, but she doesn't play bass, so we can't." And then eventually it got down to the end of five months, and it was like, if we don't find someone, I'll be so sad, and we can't do it. So we just asked her, and Ryan got in a room with her alone to play bass, and he was like, "She can do this. She can learn this." And she's incredible.

There are two big moments in the show where you engage in fairly intimate audience interaction. There's one where you shave someone's head and one where you make out with an audience member as part of a consent workshop. And I'm wondering how you went about creating those moments — and the guardrails around them.

There was a lot of work that went into it, into framing it, into how to word it perfectly so that we are naming enthusiastic consent. So that we know that we are making sure it feels like an invitation and not like hazing. So that it feels like a gift for an audience member and not like they're a prop. And every night, it changes. I usually share my head-shaving story. And some nights, I don't want to share it when I'm shaving a person's head. I just want to honor it and be with them. And then I'll share my stuff later. And it's just about being really present.

The make-out workshop came out of so many rewrites and so many things being thrown away, being like, "We can't do this. We can't do this. It's not working." There was a point where there was a version of this concert where there was so much trauma in it that it was like, we're not here to exploit trauma. And the make-out session was born out of a conversation that our dramaturg Mei Ann Teo [note: a dramaturg is essentially a theatrical editor, though the scope of the role varies from production to production.] and the director Orion Johnstone had. I think they were having a conversation about the text, and they came to me the next day and were like, "We have a proposal for you. What if you make out with an audience member on stage." And I was like, done. Yes.

You were super enthusiastic about that from the beginning?

Yes. Huge. I was just like, life of my dreams. Let's freaking do it. We're done with subtlety. Orion, Mei Ann, and me were all aligned in the belief that our sexual liberation is so intertwined with social justice. Oftentimes, the shame or the hiding or the silence or the questions or the anxiety that surrounds my sexual expression, it wasn't born out of nowhere. And I wasn't born with all of that. And it's something that I feel like was piled on me as I have lived my life through this world, identifying the way I do sexually.

I don't want to feel shame in the streets. I don't want to feel shame in the bed. And I find that to be true of so many people. To think of how much hiding we do, of the kind of intimacy that we want and who we want to have it with and all this stuff, and all the hiding that we do, and all the breath-holding that we do, and how that's actually intertwined with, "Well, if you would just let us be who we are, maybe we wouldn't close in so much."

The night I was there, two people volunteered really quickly to make out with you. Do you ever have a moment where you felt uncomfortable during that part of the show? Where you had to be, like, this is not working for me at this moment?

This is why working with a sex and relationships coach [director Orion Johnstone] on your art is amazing because they literally had to tell me, "Take your time to choose." I have been conditioned to be like, "Make a choice. You have to love it. I'm so into it. Yeah. Do whatever you want." Where it's like, "No no no, we're going to disrupt that and be like, 'let me take this in and see who it is that I actually want to share this moment with.'"

From there, I have that time to sit with them in the Super Sexy Hot Enthusiastic Consent workshop to be like, "How is it that I want to kiss you as I'm looking at you?" And some nights I want to, like, make out with the person. And some night it's like, I want to give them a really soft, welcoming kiss. And some nights, it's like, I want to kiss you everywhere but the mouth. But every step of the way, I feel like, I always have agency. Always. And that is the power behind this piece. And that's something the dramaturg has given voice to. That the night is actually about watching you, about agency in the room.

You're performing this at a moment where these issues are exploding into public life in an unfortunate way — with previous accusations against the president of the United States and, of course, more recently in your industry, with Harvey Weinstein. What sort of tools do you hope people walk away from the show with?

My hope is that people walk away feeling like they have complete and total agency to act and speak out and honor themselves and honor their truth and honor their power. That any time they feel that urge to be like, "I feel like I can do something but I don't know if it's like this, and I don't know," that it's like, "You can. You can and you will. And you must." You just have to put one foot in front of the other to do it.

You said you're preparing one more installation?

Drummer Ryan McCurdy (L), Oh (C) and Vega (R). Photo by Jeremy Daniel.

On Oct. 28, at a to-be-disclosed location, at 4 p.m., we are going to be inviting all the past audience members of the show to stand outside together with the paper bag they left with. And if you don't have a brown paper bag, we'll give you one of the leftover ones that we have with the hopes that between now and then you will have given some thought to how we can make this thing possible in whatever small and big way. And it's just a chance for us to stand outside together, be together, meet each other.

I think that community is built by shared experience, and we will have shared this experience. And every night is so different.

In the meantime, we want everyone to see the show because we believe in it so much. We believe in the spell of it , that it's really using our civic duty.

{my lingerie play} 2017: THE CONCERT AND CALL TO ARMS. The Final Installation runs through Oct. 28 at Rattlestick Playwrights Theatre in New York City. Tickets can be found here.

Science

Researchers dumped tons of coffee waste into a forest. This is what it looks like now.

30 dump truck loads and two years later, the forest looks totally different.

One of the biggest problems with coffee production is that it generates an incredible amount of waste. Once coffee beans are separated from cherries, about 45% of the entire biomass is discarded.

So for every pound of roasted coffee we enjoy, an equivalent amount of coffee pulp is discarded into massive landfills across the globe. That means that approximately 10 million tons of coffee pulp is discarded into the environment every year.



When disposed of improperly, the waste can cause serious damage soil and water sources.

However, a new study published in the British Ecological Society journal Ecological Solutions and Evidence has found that coffee pulp isn't just a nuisance to be discarded. It can have an incredibly positive impact on regrowing deforested areas of the planet.

via British Ecological Society

In 2018, researchers from ETH-Zurich and the University of Hawaii spread 30 dump trucks worth of coffee pulp over a roughly 100' x 130' area of degraded land in Costa Rica. The experiment took place on a former coffee farm that underwent rapid deforestation in the 1950s.

The coffee pulp was spread three-feet thick over the entire area.

Another plot of land near the coffee pulp dump was left alone to act as a control for the experiment.

"The results were dramatic." Dr. Rebecca Cole, lead author of the study, said. "The area treated with a thick layer of coffee pulp turned into a small forest in only two years while the control plot remained dominated by non-native pasture grasses."

In just two years, the area treated with coffee pulp had an 80% canopy cover, compared to just 20% of the control area. So, the coffee-pulp-treated area grew four times more rapidly. Like a jolt of caffeine, it reinvigorated biological activity in the area.

The canopy was also four times taller than that of the control.

Before and after images of the forest

The forest experienced a radical, positive change

via British Ecological Society

The coffee-treated area also eliminated an invasive species of grass that took over the land and prevented forest succession. Its elimination allowed for other native species to take over and recolonize the area.

"This case study suggests that agricultural by-products can be used to speed up forest recovery on degraded tropical lands. In situations where processing these by-products incurs a cost to agricultural industries, using them for restoration to meet global reforestation objectives can represent a 'win-win' scenario," Dr. Cole said.

If the results are repeatable it's a win-win for coffee drinkers and the environment.

Researchers believe that coffee treatments can be a cost-effective way to reforest degraded land. They may also work to reverse the effects of climate change by supporting the growth of forests across the globe.

The 2016 Paris Agreement made reforestation an important part of the fight against climate change. The agreement incentivizes developing countries to reduce deforestation and forest degradation, promote forest conservation and sustainable management, and enhance forest carbon stocks in developing countries.

"We hope our study is a jumping off point for other researchers and industries to take a look at how they might make their production more efficient by creating links to the global restoration movement," Dr. Cole said.


This article originally appeared on 03.29.21

A woman looking content with her child-free life.

Every couple that has ever considered being child-free has had to deal with people who have children telling them they will regret their decision. They're often told that they’ll be lonely when they get older and never understand the joy and fulfillment of having a child.

Even though there is so much pressure for couples to have kids, more and more people are deciding to live child-free lives. A recent study found that 47% of adults under 50 without kids say they're unlikely to have them — up 10 percentage points from 2018.

There are many different reasons why people don’t want to have kids, whether it’s affordability, the state of the world and the environment, or they just don’t feel like it. The child-free movement gets even stronger as people get younger.

Sixty-seven percent of young women and 50% of young men say they just don’t want children. So, are all of these people setting themselves up for a lifetime of regret because they choose not to have kids? A recent study out of Michigan says no, they probably won’t.


The Institute for Public Policy and Social Research at Michigan State University studied 1,000 Michiganders, asking whether they have or want children. The study separated those who wish to be child-free from those who want children but can’t have them.

The study found that by the time people reach the age of 70, people who have children and those who decided not to are just as satisfied with their lives.

child-free, no kids, childrenA couple enjoying coffeevia MART PRODUCTION/Pexels

“Childfree people, especially women, are often told they’ll be dissatisfied with life or regret their decision later,” Jennifer Watling Neal, one of the study’s authors, told PsyPost. “In this study, we compared how much adults age 70 and older said they’d want to change something about their life — in other words, whether they had any regrets about how their life had gone. We didn’t see any difference between child-free people and parents. This suggests that child-free people are similar to others in terms of life satisfaction and often don’t regret their decision later.”

The researchers found that child-free people may be happier than those with kids.“In fact, older parents were slightly more likely to want to change something about their life,” Neal said in a statement.

The study was conducted on 1,000 people; times change and everyone’s experience is different, so there’s no telling who will or will not have regrets about their decision to have children. But the study should bring some peace of mind to those who are tired of hearing that they may regret their choice to be child-free, whether from friends, family or the little voice in their heads.

The discussion also raises a deeper question: How do we create a society where people are excited about having children? What changes could be made to make it affordable for people to have families? How can we create a brighter future so that parents can feel confident that the children born today will be able to thrive as adults?

Family

Naming twins is an art. Here are some twin names people say are the best they've ever heard.

With twins, all the regular pressures of having a baby are doubled, including choosing a name.

Are you in favor of rhyming twin names? Or is it too cutesy?

Having twins means double the fun, and double the pressure. It’s a fairly known rule to name twins in a way that honors their unique bond, but that can lead to overly cutesy pairings that feel more appropriate for nursery rhyme characters than actual people. Plus, it’s equally important for the names to acknowledge each twin’s individuality. Again, these are people—not a matching set of dolls. Finding the twin baby name balance is easier said than done, for sure.

Luckily, there are several ways to do this. Names can be linked by style, sound or meaning, according to the baby name website Nameberry. For example, two names that share a classic style would be Elizabeth and Edward, whereas Ione and Lionel share a similar rhythm. And Frederica and Milo seem to share nothing in common, but both mean “peaceful.”

Over on the /NameNerds subreddit, one person asked folks to share their favorite twin name pairings, and the answers did not disappoint.


One person wrote “Honestly, for me it’s hard to beat the Rugrats combo of Phillip and Lillian (Phil and Lil) 💕”

A few parents who gave their twin’s names that didn’t inherently rhyme until nicknames got involved:

"It's the perfect way! Christmas cards can be signed cutely with matching names, but when they act out you can still use their full name without getting tripped up.😂"

"The parents of a good friend of mine did this: her name is Allison and her sister is Callie. Their names don’t match on the surface, but they were Alli and Callie at home."

“Alice and Celia, because they’re anagrams! Sound super different but have a not-so-obvious implicit connection.”

This incited an avalanche of other anagram ideas: Aidan and Nadia, Lucas and Claus, Liam and Mila, Noel and Leon, Ira and Ria, Amy and May, Ira and Ari, Cole and Cleo…even Alice, Celia, and Lacie for triplets.

Others remembered name pairs that managed to sound lovely together without going into cutesy territory.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesThese matching bunny ears though. Photo credit: Canva

“I know twin toddler boys named Charlie and Archie and they go so well together,” one person commented.

Another wrote, “Tamia and Aziza. I love how they follow the same sound pattern with the syllable endings (-uh, -ee, -uh) without being obnoxiously matchy matchy.”

Still another said, “Lucy and Logan, fraternal girl/boy twins. I think the names sound so nice together, and definitely have the same 'vibe' and even though they have the same first letter they aren't too matchy-matchy.”

Other honorable mentions included: Colton and Calista, Caitlin and Carson, Amaya and Ameera, Alora and Luella, River and Rosie, and Eleanor and Elias.

One person cast a vote for shared style names, saying, “If I had twins, I would honestly just pick two different names that I like separately. I tend to like classic names, so I’d probably pick Daniel and Benjamin for boys. For girls my two favorites right now are Valerie and Tessa. I think Val and Tess would be cute together!”

Overall though, it seems that most folks were fans of names that focused on shared meaning over shared sound. Even better if there’s a literary or movie reference thrown in there.

twin names, twins, babies, baby namesMany adult twins regret that their names are so closely linked together. Photo credit: Canva

“My mom works in insurance, so I asked her. She’s seen a lot of unique ones, but the only twins she remembers are Gwenivere [sic] and Lancelot... bonus points... little brother was Merlin,” one person recalled.

Another shared, “If I had twin girls, I would name them Ada and Hedy for Ada Lovelace and Hedy Lamarr, both very early computer/tech pioneers. Not that I’m that into tech, I just thought it was a brilliant combination.”

Other great ones: Susan and Sharon (think the original “Parent Trap”), Clementine and Cara (types of oranges), Esme and Etienne (French descent), Luna and Stella (moon and stars), Dawn and Eve, plus various plant pairings like Lily and Fern, Heather and Holly, and Juniper and Laurel.

Perhaps the cleverest name pairing goes to “Aubrey and Zoe,” since…wait for it… “they’re A to Z.”

It’s easy to see how naming twins really is a cool opportunity for parents to get creative and intentional with their baby naming. It might be a challenge, sure, but the potential reward is having the most iconic set of twins ever. Totally worth it!

Family

Woman sparks dialogue after saying she doesn't take advice from men no matter how successful

"I tend to take their advice with a grain of salt," says Paige Connell.

Courtesy of Paige Connell

Woman says she doesn't take advice from men.

Being a woman comes with certain expectations, no matter where in the world you live. Becoming a mother adds another layer to those expectations, with traditional society often not considering the impact on the woman experiencing that shift. For instance, many women work outside of the home and are still expected to be the one who figures out which childcare center would be best.

Women are also often expected to put their careers on hold to stay at home if it's decided that outside childcare isn't feasible. Sure, some dads may do the heavy lifting in this area, but that's not a societally expected thing. Because these things are typically expected of women, men don't generally have to consider many of the logistics of children if they're partnered with a woman.

Paige Connell sparked a conversation when she shared on social media that she doesn't take advice from men, even if it's their job. On the surface that sounds harsh, even though she clarifies that she considers the advice but takes it with a big grain of salt, and her reasoning involves the invisible labor aspect.


"I do not tend to take a lot of advice from men, even the most successful men. And I mean advice in the form of self-help books, podcasts from successful men or just men in general. I tend to take their advice with a grain of salt because I do not think it is applicable to women and mothers in particular," Connell share before revealing her reasoning.

In the video she shares that she was recently listening to "The Diary of a CEO" podcast where the man talked about all the risks he took, including moving from Connecticut where his young child and ex-girlfriend live to New York. Connell pointed out through the entire episode detailing his risks and upward mobility, he never mentioned his child, which caused her to surmise that it was because childcare concerns weren't a part of his journey.


@sheisapaigeturner I do not often take advice from men, even the most successful of men, because the common thread is usually that they were able to become successful, because there was a woman standing beside them, or behind them, supporting them. Without acknowledging this, the advice means very little because women often don’t have men standing besides them, or behind them to support them. #caseyneistat #diaryofaceo #millennialmom #workingmom #wfhmom #corporatemom #successfulwomen ♬ original sound - Paige


She continued explaining how the burden of childcare tends to fall on women, working and nonworking, allowing the male parent to be free to corporate climb uninhibited by the worry. Connell shares that she prefers to listen to professionally successful moms because they share the help needed with childcare and how they navigated these spaces being the default parent. Others agreed to much of what she was saying.

"I came to a similar conclusion…I have read quite a few books of men going on their 'hero’s journey' where they did all these extravagant endeavors and eventually found success or enlightenment. But nothing about how a mother deep in the trenches of child raising is the [true] hero’s journey. Motherhood can chew you up and spit you out. A mother dies a million deaths and finds strength to continue to show up for her child day and night. Motherhood changes and refines us. No mother goes unchanged after motherhood. It is late nights and isolation. The flames of motherhood, the true hero’s journey," one person revealed, describing her own experience of realization.

"I love that you talk about it. Also all the so called geniuses, poets, writers, great personalities were able to accomplish all they did because their wives babysat their 8 kids at that time," someone else sighed in frustration.

"Couldn’t agree more. It’s the equivalent of men being able to work late, work weekends, put in the face time, to get ahead - whilst someone else is looking after their children," another wrote.

"I remember reading one comment in the daily routine of a successful writer. He had four kids and yet he could write for 6 hours daily during the day. Never once mentions his household manager, cook, cleaner, nanny—his wife," a commenter pointed out.

What do you think? Should more women be talking about this reality when it comes to the success of their male partners?

Joy

15-year-old surprises his sister with a wedding dance and there's not a dry eye anywhere

The song starts with a recording of them singing together as children.

The beautiful bond of brother and sister

Weddings are often catalysts for happy tears, but sometimes an extra special moment or gesture pushes it into "everybody grab a tissue" territory.

This video is one of those. Don't say we didn't warn ya.

Avery Albrecht shared a clip from her wedding reception in which her baby brother asked her for a dance. But Albrecht had no idea what kind of surprise the 15-year-old and her parents had in store for her. As the music begins, we hear children's voices singing—the two of them singing Phil Collins' "You'll Be in My Heart" together as children. And then the real song begins, with the bride and her brother—along with everyone watching—in a puddle.

Watch all the way to the end:


"There wasn't a dry eye in the house," Albrecht shared. There doesn't appear to be a dry eye on the internet, either.

"Stop it!! It’s 4 am in Sydney, and I'm a 43-year-old man sobbing while hiding under a blanket with my wife and 2 kids on the same bed, 😭" shared one person. "Family is the most important precious thing in the world!! ❤️"

"I went from cracking up about a stupid Hello Kitty video to sobbing in under three minutes. That must be so confusing to my central nervous system," shared another.

"I have to stop watching these things at work… people are thinking I am depressed, 😂" wrote another.

Some people shared how much it reminded them of their close sibling relationships:

"One of the most beautiful things I’ve seen. And being a much older big sister of littles (not little anymore by a long shot), I know the exact place this came from."

"I don’t know if she’ll read this but sweetheart you are so lucky! Please give your baby brother a hug for me. I lost my little brother 19 years ago this past June while I was pregnant with my first born son. I named him after him. And miss him so very much. 😢❤️"

"My little brother had a severe case of cerebral palsy and Down syndrome. He’s gone, but as I am watching this video, I can’t stop wondering what my life would be if he was healthy and still around… same about my older sister, who had also passed away. Crying my heart out now."

"Awwwwwwwe! The sweetest! You can tell how close you both are! Me and my sister are 12 years apart and she got married when I was 12 and she moved out and I had THE HARDEST time and cried almost everyday for a month!! ! I still would go over to her house and spend the night all the time… and then when she had children I became the built in babysitter for my nieces and nephew (also my fave ppl on the planet) She’s always was and still my very best friend. ♥️♥️"

Here's to the beautiful bond siblings can share, the families that nurture those bonds and this sweet brother-sister pair who gave us all the cleansing cry we needed.