+
“A balm for the soul”
  review on Goodreads
GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
Identity

Here's how 18 people got over being homophobic, proving there's hope for everyone

"I looked for logical reasons to be and couldn't find any."

lgbtq, homopbobia, overcoming homophobia
via Unsplash

Homophobia? Get over it.

There are many different reasons why some people are homophobic. A lot of them are raised in religious households where homosexuality is seen as sinful and they never get over their indoctrination.

A study from 2018 found that people who foster homophobic attitudes are less intelligent than those who accept people regardless of their sexuality. For the study, researchers asked subjects if they agree or disagree with the following statement: “Homosexual couples should have the same rights as heterosexual couples do.”

After comparing data sets, researchers found that the lower a person's cognitive intelligence, the more likely they are to be homophobic.

An older study from 2016 using an eye-tracking device found that some homophobic men seem to have an impulsive, automatic attraction to other men.

Homophobic attitudes are more prevalent in people with authoritarian personality types. Authoritarians have “submissive attitudes toward strong leaders, a desire to punish all who violate conventional moral codes, and strong fear that conventional morality is breaking down.”

There are also some who believe that humans evolved to be homophobic because it favors the propagation of the species. "In its simplest form, parents who showed a concern for their child’s sexual orientation may have left more descendants than those who were indifferent,” Gordon Gallup, a human sexuality researcher, wrote.

(It should be noted that Gallup formulated his theory in the ‘80s.)

Regardless of how people become homophobic, the good news is that Americans are slowly becoming more accepting of LGBTQ people. A Reddit user by the name of aestheticbear wanted to prove that everyone is capable of losing their homophobic views by asking the subforum, “What happened that made you stop being homophobic?”

According to the posts, growing up and meeting people who are LGBTQ was one of the most effective ways for people to get over their homophobia. It also helped when they got away from religious parents and began to see the world with their own eyes.

Here are 18 of the best ways that people got over being homophobic.

1. 

"I met some gay people. As it turns out they were just people." — moolord

2. 

"Not homophobic, but I woke up at about 10 when my mom said my uncle was banned from coming to our vacation condo by my father because he was gay. Before then I kind of let the arguments and both sides bit wash over me, but that was a crystalization point where I started noticing it as pure bigotry. I'm sorry the nicest dude in the family full of domestic violence and white-collar drug abusers cant come to Christmas because he's gay? You're both cheating on each other, sanctity of what marriage now?" — Robin_Games

3. 

"My mom slapped me and told me everyone has a right to be happy. That was in 9th grade 13 years ago." — Bloodllust

4. 

"Homophobia was the norm when I was growing up, then I got older and the political landscape changed which made me question my belief and I came to the conclusion it just didn't make any sense to be homophobic." — LuciferIsFallen

5. 

"I came out as gay." — pethal

6

"Realised that, fundamentally, being gay is just 'what' you are. It’s not 'who' you are." — Alternative-Rain-718

7. 

"I wasn't super homophobic, just a 'love the sinner, hate the sin' kind of guy. On my last day in high school, someone said 'Why do I care? They're not hurting me.' Cured me in three seconds. I still remember how magical that moment was for me." — Dirgonite

8. 

"Stopped listening to my homophobic family and left their religion. Oh and also realized I myself was pretty gay." — Raidden

9. 

"There are 20 years between myself and my youngest brother. I (and my SO) was raised in an explicitly homophobic/biphobic/transphobic fundamentalist religion (that I left with my SO in my early 20s) so I had a lot of internalized, conditioned, toxic beliefs about the LGBTQ that needed to be deconstructed. My little brother was obviously either gay or bi and it was obvious from the time he was six imho. He came out to my sisters, SO, and I as bi when he was 11 and we were like "tell us something we don't know lol." I think watching him just grow up, it was obvious that he hadn't chosen to be that way, it was just how he was. This false narrative that LGBTQ are somehow defective or sinners became more disgusting to me over time.

I can't remember exactly when it happened but my SO and I were like 'if our future child happened to be LGBTQ, could we teach that child the things we were taught about the LGBTQ?" We were like "no, that would be evil.'

Now, we have an 18yo niece that recently came out as a lesbian and we feel honored to be the only family that she trusts enough to introduce to her first GF. Spending time with her just reaffirms the fact that there is nothing wrong with the LGBTQ, it was our upbringing that was defective." — Jormungandr91

10. 

"I was in the military during the repeal of don’t ask don’t tell. I wasn’t pro-gay whatever that might mean but sitting in those mandatory command meetings really opened my eyes. There were some legit homophobes trying every trick in the book to justify everything from moving sleeping arrangements to outright violence out in the open with gay people in the room.

I may not have been super sympathetic before that but after I realized just how difficult it was for a gay person just to go to work. Or how many precautions they were taking on a daily basis to keep in the closet. It pushed me from disinterested in the subject to siding with the obviously pragmatic stance of pro-gay marriage and gays in the military." — Pencilowner

11. 

"Went off to college, started meeting gay people, quickly realized that their awesomeness was no different than any straight person’s awesomeness, stopped bothering to “otherize” them as I had in high school." — hailnaux

12. 

"I became good friends with someone who came out to me a year or so after we got to know each other. Turns out he wasn't the abomination that my Christian parents/church had taught me all gays were. Indoctrination of children is a bitch." — Vefantur

13. 

"Honestly I think it was Lady Gaga. I was young and impressionable and she was cool and so LGBT+ friendly that I just started accepting people. And then it turned out I was a lil gay too so things worked out well lol." — plutoforprez

14. 

"I grew up and met some openly gay people." — polkavert

15. 

"I became an atheist. Through a painful experience of getting through serious depression, I came out the other side with a different worldview. As soon as I shed religion I began to question a lot of things including how I really feel about LGBTQIA people vs what I'd been indoctrinated to believe. They are just people trying to go about their normal routine like myself. There's no vast conspiracy or 'gay agenda.'

Years later, I suspect I'm one of them now. I might be asexual but I'm not sure yet." —HonestSummer

16. 

​"As a teen I loved to make fun/bash gay people and listen to heavy metal. Then one day Rob Halford from Judas Priest came out as gay. Well, he is fucking Rob Halford and he can do whatever the fuck he wants. He is Rob Halford and being gay did not make him any less amazing in my eyes. After that I stopped caring about people being gay or not. Who am I to second guess or mock Rob Halford's life choices?" — cambeiu

17.

"I looked for logical reasons to be and couldn't find any." — theyellowmeteor

18. 

"I grew up." — jthomas287

From Your Site Articles
lgbtq
Joy

Hunger in affluent communities: How a Silicon Valley food bank is fighting food insecurity

We can all help fight hunger nationwide with one simple shift in the way we grocery shop.

Photo credit: Canva

Food insecurity is an issue in communities across the United States.

When people hear “Silicon Valley,” hunger isn’t usually the first thing that comes to mind. Instead, most think “global tech hub” and “wealth.” Named after the silicon used in computer chips, this renowned region is home to nearly 3 million residents and is famous for offering some of the highest salaries in the United States.

Given Silicon Valley’s association with wealth, it’s easy to overlook that not everyone living there is affluent. The high cost of living in the area makes it challenging for those without high-paying jobs to make ends meet. Many residents, including those who work full-time, struggle with basic living expenses.

That’s why Second Harvest of Silicon Valley helps provide food to more than 500,000 people across Santa Clara and San Mateo counties. The COVID-19 pandemic and subsequent inflation have prevented many families from getting ahead, making the food bank’s role crucial in providing access to nutritious food.

However, the high cost of living in Silicon Valley is also affecting Second Harvest. Despite the evident need in the community, the food bank had to close its largest warehouse in June 2024 due to rising rent costs.

donationsVolunteers help sort food bank donations.Photo credit: Canva

"Every single week, we receive more than 85 tractor-trailer loads of food. All of that food gets handled at our warehouses and goes back into the community," Second Harvest of Silicon Valley CEO Leslie Bacho told NBC. "Unfortunately, this is our largest facility that we are closing, so we're having to just figure out how we can have that work get done other places."

To help maintain the flow of food, the Albertsons Companies Foundation Nourishing Neighbors Program and O Organics gave Second Harvest of Silicon Valley a $200,000 grant. And they weren’t the only organization to receive funding. Thirty nonprofits received a total of $30,000 in grants during the O Organics $30K in 30 days campaign this past summer to help ease food insecurity. Hunger is an ongoing issue that requires continuous funding, and initiatives like these help ensure that food reaches those in need.

How can we all help make sure people get the food they need?

There are so many worthy organizations that need support to fight hunger, and there are numerous ways to help, from making direct donations and organizing food drives to volunteering. Enhancing these efforts, O Organics provides an easy way for everyone to contribute consistently by simply changing how we grocery shop.

Every time you choose an O Organics product, you not only provide nutritious food for your own family but also help someone facing food insecurity. Through the “Fight Hunger. Serve Hope” program, O Organics has contributed nearly $14 million over the past two years to reduce food insecurity, enabling 56M meals and counting to help fight hunger in local communities.

O Organics helps fight food insecurity.images.albertsons-media.com

Doesn’t organic food cost more than non-organic?

People often assume that organic food is more expensive, but that’s not always true. Many organic products cost the same or even lower than their non-organic equivalents, especially when comparing private label brands like O Organics to national products.

O Organics has products in every aisle of the store, making it easier than ever to find organic products that suit your family’s needs. Purchasing O Organics products also helps support organic agriculture. Small changes that benefit both the planet and its people can add up, and simply choosing one product instead of another can make a significant difference.

No matter where people face food insecurity, whether in Silicon Valley or communities across the U.S., we can all find ways to help. Learn more about how O Organics is helping fight hunger here and look for the O Organics brand at your local Albertsons Companies grocery store, including Albertsons, Safeway, Vons, ACME, Shaw’s, Jewel-Osco and Tom Thumb.
Health

Hospice nurse shares the 'one sign' that someone is going to die 'in a few weeks'

Most people don't believe it happens.

via Canva

A nurse and a man in hospice care.

Death is the final mystery that we all must face and it’s natural to be scared about going through the process. However, a new video by a hospice nurse shows an excellent reason for people to feel comfortable facing the unknown.

Julie McFadden, aka Hospice Nurse Julie on YouTube, has witnessed over a hundred deaths, says that people are often comforted by friends and relatives who have passed away in their final days. She says that when people begin experiencing these visions, it’s a sign that they will be passing away within a few weeks.

McFadden is also the author of the bestseller, “Nothing to Fear.”

"Here's one sign that someone is close to death that most people don't believe happens,” Julie began the video.

- YouTubewww.youtube.com

"Usually a few weeks to a month before someone dies, if they're on hospice, they will start seeing dead loved ones, dead relatives, dead pets. This happens so often that we actually put it in our educational packets that we give to patients and their families when they come on hospice so they aren't surprised or scared when it happens,” she continues.

The experience is called visioning; although no one knows how or why it happens, it’s common among all her patients.

"We don't know why it happens, but we see it in definitely more than half of our patients," she continues.

People often believe that the visions are caused by a lack of oxygen to the brain. However, Juie says that isn’t true. “Because when it does happen, most people are alert and oriented and are at least a month from death, so they don't have low oxygen," she said.

The good news is that the visioning experience is always comforting for those who are nearing the end. It often involves relatives who come from the other side to let them know everything will be okay and encourage them to let go and pass away. People also experience being taken on journeys with loved ones or having sensory experiences from the past, such as smelling their grandmother's perfume or father’s cigar.

Christopher Kerr, a CEO of Hospice & Palliative Care, an organization that provides palliative care in Buffalo, New York, says that the relatives that often appear in these visions are people who protected and comforted the dying parent when they were alive. So, they may see a parent who nurtured them but not one they feared.

Kerr has extensively studied the mysterious phenomena that happen when people die but has no real explanation for why the visioning experience happens. “I have witnessed cases where what I was seeing was so profound, and the meaning for the patient was so clear and precise, that I almost felt like an intruder,” he told BBC Brazil. “And trying to decipher the etiology, the cause, seemed futile. I concluded that it was simply important to have reverence, that the fact that I could not explain the origin and process did not invalidate the experience for the patient.”

It's comforting to know that for many, the final days of life may not be filled with pain and fear but instead with a sense of peace and joy. While we may never fully understand the reasons behind these mysterious visions, if they bring calm during such a daunting time, we can simply be grateful for their presence. They’re kind of like life, in general. In the end, we may not really know what it was all about, but we can be happy that it happened.

From Your Site Articles
hospice
Pop Culture

People are arguing whether this is a picture of Tom Hanks or Bill Murray

Can you tell?

via Reasons My Son is Crying/Facebook

Tom Hanks and Bill Murray


What do you think?


via Reasons My Son is Crying/Facebook

SCROLL DOWN FOR THE ANSWER

Given the narrow beauty standards in Hollywood, there are a lot of actors and actresses that look look amazingly similar.

Heath Ledger and Joseph Gordon-Levitt look a lot alike…


As do Katy Perry and Zooey Deschanel…

But has anyone ever said, "You know which 60-something actors look identical? Tom Hanks and Bill Murray." Because they don't look alike. Although, funnily enough, Bill Murray did famously turn down the leads in Hanks' hits "Forrest Gump" and "Philadelphia," but I'm guessing nobody has ever screamed, "Loved you in 'Ghostbusters'" at Hanks as he walked down the street.

But for some reason, call it fate, call it luck, call it karma, the man making the "waaah" face in the orange raincoat above could easily be either man.

Here's what people are saying on Facebook:

via Reasons My Son is Crying/Facebook

The truth (should you choose to accept it):

The photo above is of Bill Murray and Laura DiMichele-Ross holding her crying son, Alexander, at the Alfred Dunhill Links golf competition at St. Andrews in October 2012. DiMichele-Ross posted the photo to a popular Facebook blog "Reasons My Son Is Crying" in May 2013. The photo resurfaced in October 2016 on the Today Show website, reigniting the controversy all over again.

Regardless of what the Internet is saying, DiMichele-Ross backs her original claim that it's Murray. "It's totally Bill," she reiterated in a comment on her post. "I can vouch cause I'm the one in the photo with the massive grin thinking 'Oh my god this is going to be an awesome photo!'"


This article originally appeared on 10.26.16

From Your Site Articles
comedy
Parenting

A mom had the best response after a neighbor complained about her toddler's sidewalk chalk

Well done.

via AktivierungsCoach-Geier/Pixabay

Sidewalk chalk incenses nosey neighbor.

No neighborhood would be complete without that one neighbor who complains about the pettiest things. The big problem comes when you live in a shared building or have a homeowner's association where that nosey neighbor has the power to make your life miserable.

Ashley Woodfolk, a young adult fiction writer in Brooklyn, couldn't believe that someone in her co-op complained about her toddler writing in sidewalk chalk in the courtyard of her building.

For those who live outside of New York City, a co-op is a type of housing where each resident is a shareholder in a corporation and pays for their living area based on its size. Co-ops usually have a committee or board that meets to handle issues that arise in the building.

It's incredible to believe that someone would be so shallow that they'd complain about a toddler drawing in sidewalk chalk. All it takes is a hose or a light rain and the chalk will disappear forever.

Furthermore, who would complain about a child drawing with sidewalk chalk during a pandemic when parents are rightfully afraid of their kids being exposed to the coronavirus?

Woodfolk was incensed that someone would make such a complaint. So she decided to apologize to the woman by writing a massive letter in the courtyard using sidewalk chalk.

"This will be my last time using sidewalk chalk in the courtyard since it seems to be such a problem for you (and only for you). I'm sorry harmless fun that brought my toddler joy (and has actually helped him learned all of his letters and most of his numbers –– his favorites are E and 8) causes you so much distress that you had to complain to the board and waste everyone's time when our building has much bigger real problems.

"I think you're aware that we're in a pandemic and while I'd love to take my kid to museums and the movies I don't feel safe doing that, and sometimes even local parks are more crowded than I'm comfortable with. The courtyard was a safe space but now there are limits on that too. There only a few weeks of nice weather left, and I sincerely hope you enjoy the use of the sidewalk-chalk free courtyard for the remainder of the fall. And I hope that every time it rains, rain that would have washed away any colorful ABCs I wrote on the ground, you think of me."

All my love, Ashley."

To make sure she got her message across, she also left a letter for the woman in the lobby of the building.


The woman got the message.



Woodfolk doesn't blame the board for having to hear about the complaint. She assumes they heard about it multiple times and had to give her the news because they didn't want to be harassed.



Let's hope that Woodfolk's dramatic reaction teaches the woman, and anyone else who wants to make petty complaints, that they should think twice before reporting someone to the board. They just might get a taste of their own pettiness in a glorious way.


This article originally appeared on 10.30.21

From Your Site Articles
parenting
Family

13 comics use 'science' to hilariously illustrate the frustrations of parenting.

"Newton's First Law of Parenting: A child at rest will remain at rest ... until you need your iPad back."

All images by Jessica Ziegler

Kids grab everywhere.


Norine Dworkin-McDaniel's son came home from school one day talking about Newton's first law of motion.

He had just learned it at school, her son explained as they sat around the dinner table one night. It was the idea that "an object at rest will remain at rest until acted on by an external force."

"It struck me that it sounded an awful lot like him and his video games," she joked.

A writer by trade and always quick to turn a phrase, Norine grabbed a pen and scribbled some words:

"Newton's First Law of Parenting: A child at rest will remain at rest ... until you need your iPad back."

And just like that, she started creating "The Science of Parenthood," a series that names and identifies hilarious, universal parenting struggles. She put in a quick call to her friend Jessica Ziegler, a visual and graphics expert, and together the two set out to bring the project to life.

Here are some of their discoveries:

1. Newton's first law of parenting

parents, babies, parenthood

A taste of the “gimmies."

2. The sleep geometry theorem

teenagers, science of parenthood, science

There’s plenty of room.

3. The baby fluids effusion rule

baby fluids, adults, babies

Duck.

4. The carnival arc

avoidance, county fair, town

Can we go?

5. The Archimedes bath-time principle

bath time, bubbles, clean up

Clean up the clean up.

6. Schrödinger's backpack

homework, school, responsibility

Homework... ehh.

7. The naptime disruption theorem

naps, doorbells, sleep deprivation

Who needs sleep. It’s rhetorical.

8. Calculation disintegration

math, education, calculator

I have a calculator on my phone.

9. Chuck e-conomics

economics, resources, toys

How much does that cost?

10. Plate tectonics

food, picky eaters, fussy eaters

Where’s the chicken tenders?

11. Silicaphobia

beach, sand, vacation

Oh good, sunburns.

12. Delusions of launder

laundry, chores, home utilities

When did we get all these clothes?

13. The Costco contradiction

Costco, name brands, comic

I want them now, not then.

Norine and Jessica's work struck a nerve with parents everywhere.

Norine said almost every parent who sees the cartoons has a similar reaction: a quiet moment of recognition, followed by a huge laugh as they recognize their own families in the illustrations.

But is there more to it than just getting a few chuckles? You bet, Norine and Jessica said.

"Even, at the worst possible moments, you're standing there, your child has just vomited all over you, or you've opened up the diaper and your kid is sitting waist deep in liquid ****. Even at that moment, it's not really that bad," Norine said. "You will be able to laugh at this at some point."

"It gets better. You're not alone in this parenting thing."


This article originally appeared on 11.30.16

From Your Site Articles
Pop Culture

Music teacher got two standing ovations and a BGT Golden Buzzer with 'Natural Woman' cover

Goose. Bumps.

Britain's Got Talent/YouTube

Taryn Charles blew everyone away with her BGT audition.

For nearly two decades, people have been enjoying "Got Talent" competitions all over the world, inspired by the first "America's Got Talent" in 2006. And thanks to social media and YouTube, we can enjoy the most memorable auditions over and over again.

For instance, this one from Taryn Charles on the 2024 season of "Britain's Got Talent."

Charles is a music teacher who works with special needs kids. She even brought one of her students and her parent to be part of the audience during her audition. When the judges asked why she wanted to be on "Britain's Got Talent," Charles said, "I love to make people smile and I think my voice is alright."

Talk about an understatement.

As she stands waiting for the music to start, she shakes her hand by her side a few times, clearly getting some nerves out. But as soon as she starts to sing the first line, "Looking out on the morning rain, I used to feel so uninspired…" it's clear from her rich, raspy voice and easy stage presence that she's got something special.

And it only gets better from there. "(You Make Me Feel Like a) Natural Woman" was written by singer-songwriter Carole King, then famously covered by Aretha Franklin, which is a hard act to follow. But Charles knocked it out of the park, blowing away the audience and judges alike. In fact, the performance earned her not one but two standing ovations and inspired judge Bruno Tonioli to smash the Golden Buzzer button before the judges even began to offer their feedback.

Watch:

What makes this performance especially memorable is how humble and unassuming Charles is before and after her knock-out performance. If you didn't watch til the very end, you may have missed her hilariously real, "I think I've wet myself," which only makes her even more endearing.

"WOW I was blown away with her angelic and powerful voice," wrote one commenter. "And yet she is so humble and has a beautiful soul. Plus, I have never in my life seen a double standing ovation, she so deserves a golden buzzer, wishing her the best success."

"This is how you do an audition, stunning tone to her voice.....if anyone deserves a chance it's this lady......BOOM!!" wrote another.

"This was so inspirational. Taryn I am in tears," shared another. "I know what it feels like to struggle with self-worth. You are a mirror to show me that that those people are not always right. You are phenomenally gifted and you have an amazing career as a professional singer ahead of you! Blessings!"

Talent competition judges often warn contestants about the challenge of singing songs done by big vocal divas, and we've seen singers attempt to sing the likes of Whitney Houston or Mariah Carey and fall flat. It's not easy to sing an iconic song most people associate with Aretha Franklin—the Queen of Soul and Rolling Stone's #1 singer of all time—and have any hope of impressing people. And yet, Taryn Charles managed to make the song her own and wow everyone in the process with her unique voice.

We'll definitely be keeping an eye on this humble music teacher as she makes her way through the "Britain's Got Talent" gauntlet. Heck of a way to kick it off.


This article originally appeared on 5.6.24

From Your Site Articles
music
Trending Stories