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Here's why pole dancing can be empowering for some women.

A little NSFW? Yes. Emotional? Hell. Yes.

Heads-up: If you don't want to view not-safe-for-work content at the moment, just avoid hitting "play" on the video and read the rest.

Many people have trouble finding sexual empowerment.

These women found it through pole dancing.

These four women and 12 others have a spotlight in the short film "Why I Dance." The seven-minute video highlights how a group of women found themselves and became at home in their bodies after they began pole dancing.

"Wait, whoa!" you might be saying. "I thought pole dancing was sexually degrading to women!"

To which I say: A display of sexuality is not automatically degrading.

When you watch these women, you will realize they OWN themselves. They are doing this for them.

Like so.

The signs say it all.

And what's also great about the video is the variety of bodies, skin colors, ages, and women in it. You don't have to look a certain way to feel comfortable in your sexuality.

Some women may not find pole dancing empowering, and that's OK. But these women do, and why they do matters.

By the end of the video, I nearly cried. I'm not joking. The song, the expressions, the expert dancing, the sheer joy and wholeness ... here, how about I just let you be the judge?

If you believe in owning our bodies and the healthy expression of our sexuality, share this post.

Parenting

Devastated dad shares why he didn't tell his 10-year-old daughter it was her birthday

“I don’t know if we made the right decision…It’s killing us.”

@kylephilippi/TikTok

“Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day."

Kid’s birthdays are both lovely moments of celebration, and potential sources of stress for any parent, for various reasons. For dad Kyle Philippi (whom we’ve previously covered for dressing up as Jafar to cure his friend of an irrational phobia), his daughter’s 10th birthday was particularly full of anguish—since he didn’t tell her it actually was her birthday.

In a video posted to his TikTok that amassed close to 3 million views, the concerned dad shared his unique plight that brought him to this unusual decision: his daughter’s birthday falls on Jan 2, over winter break, meaning most kids wouldn’t be able to attend her birthday party. Two years prior, the Philippi found this out the hard way, when they tried to throw a party on the day, and no one showed.

“She was devastated,” Philippi let out through a sigh.

@kylephilippi We’re about 60/40 on whether this was a good idea… #birthday #parenting #parentingtips#autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Kyle Philippi

Then last year, they tried a different approach. Instead of a big social gathering on Jan 2, they had a more intimate environment of just the family and one close friend, followed by a proper party once winter break was finished. At this point Philippi explained that his daughter is on the spectrum and had auditory processing disorder—so even though she had fun at both events, she still couldn’t understand why her friend couldn’t show up on her actual birthday, and was still disappointed. That’s never what any parent wants for their kid.

To make matters more sensitive, Philippi shared that his daughter was beginning to not be invited to other classmates' parties, and suspected that part of why she yearns to have a party with all her friends there was because “she knows she’s not getting to go to everyone else’s birthday.”

Hence why Philippi and his wife decided to try something new by simply not acknowledging the birthday until they can do a party with his daughter’s school friends. Understandably, though the choice was made with the best of intentions, when Jan 2 came, there were tons of conflicting feelings.

Photo credit: Canva

“I don’t know if we made the right decision. But here we are,” Philippi shared. “Today’s her birthday, and we’re pretending like it’s just another day…and it’s killing us.”

Down in the comments people—especially those with special needs kids, or were autistics themselves—were quick to reassure Philippi that he made a tough, but right call.

“As an autistic person who struggles with birthdays, you’re doing the right thing. it’s a little unconventional, but so are kids like us!! keep it up,” one person wrote.

Another added, “these ‘decisions’ are so hard but you are doing great by taking it all into consideration and trying to do what will help her feel great on her birthday.”

It seems the real thing worth noting here is that Philippi and his wife are trying to make their kid’s birthday the best it can be for her, and that’s truly admirable. Odds are nearly every parent can relate to this on some level. And for parents with neurodivergent kiddos, that can often mean navigating uncharted territory. Maybe they’ll try a different approach next year. Maybe not. What matters is they’re trying.

And from the looks of it, the actual birthday wasn’t a total wash. In a follow up video, we see that Philippi’s daughter got her favorite chicken wings for dinner, and got to plan her upcoming birthday…which will apparently be Raggedy Ann themed.

@kylephilippi Replying to @mamamcsorley1 She ate her favorite meal today and we continued to plan out her ultimate birthday party in 9 days 🙂 #birthday #parenting #parentingtips #autism #autismawareness #autismacceptance #auditoryprocessingdisorder #surprisebirthday #birthdayparty ♬ original sound - Kyle Philippi

Naturally, Philippi will be going as Raggedy Andy, per his daughter's request.

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Popular

Mellow dude shares the life hacks he didn't learn until his 30s. Here are 11 of the best.

via @Sidneyraz / TikTok

TikTok has become a great place for finding life hacks and one of the best follows is @Sidneyraz. His hook is that he shows people the "things I wish I knew before I was in my 30s." Most of his life hacks are simple, domestic tricks for cleaning the house or preparing food. But he also shares some financial advice and makes the personal admission that "not being hungover is better than being drunk."

That's a lesson that a lot of us wish we learned sooner. Like a lot of folks, Sidney is learning a lot of domestic skills in his third decade and that makes sense. That's the time when people begin to settle down with a significant other and pick up more domestic skills.

The good news is that he's not going through this life change alone. He wants to share all of it with you.

Here are 11 of his best life hacks.

Baking bacon is better than frying:

@sidneyraz

baking bacon is better than frying bacon #inmy30s #bacon


How to eat a flat chicken wing:

@sidneyraz

learned this on hot ones #inmy30s #chickenwings


A tooth-brushing trick:

@sidneyraz

30+ years of being wrong #inmy30s #oralhealth


How to stop a pot from boiling over:

@sidneyraz

it has helped many times #inmy30s #cookingtips


You can vacuum more than just your floor:

@sidneyraz

vacuuming more than just floors #inmy30s #vaccum


Did you know your dishwasher has a filter?

@sidneyraz

cleaning the dishes robot is a thing #inmy30s #dishwasher


The weatherman isn't saying what you think he's saying:

@sidneyraz

but what is the forecasted area?? #weatherreport #inmy30s


How to fill a cooler:

@sidneyraz

have a great summer y’all #inmy30s #summervibes2021


The secret behind Chinese food containers:

@sidneyraz

first time trying this #chinesefood #takeout #tipsandtricks


Hire movers:

@sidneyraz

your body will thank you #inmy30s #movingday


Not being hungover is better than being drunk:

@sidneyraz

goodbye youth. #inmy30s


This article originally appeared four years ago.

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Joy

17 Gen X memes for the generation caught in the middle

Gen X is so forgotten that it's become something of a meme. Here are 17 memes that will resonate with just about anyone born between 1965 and 1980.

Photo from Reddit

Boomers, Millennials, and Gen Z

"Generation X" got its name in the early '90s from an article turned book by Canadian writer Douglas Coupland. And ever since, they've been fighting or embracing labels like "slacker" and "cynic." That is, until Millennials came of age and all that "you kids today" energy from older generations started to get heaped on them. Slowly, Gen X found they were no longer being called slackers...they weren't even being mentioned at all. And that suits them just fine.

Here are 17 memes that will resonate with just about anyone born between 1965 and 1980.

Gen X basically invented "Whatever."

gen x memesSOURCE: TWITTER

Until recently, Generation X has been sitting back and watching as Millennials and Boomers eat at each other with an amused, non-confrontational attitude. But recently, Millennials and Gen Z became aware of their presence, and dubbed them "The Karen Generation."

They seem to be embracing the Karen thing.

SOURCE: X

While I'm pretty sure the "Karen" thing is not complimentary—as BuzzFeed puts it, it's meant to communicate someone who is "the middle-aged white mom who is always asking for the manager and wondering why kids are so obsessed with their identities,"—lots of people landed on a different Karen to represent the generation: the martini-guzzling, wise-cracking Karen Walker.

Get it right!

SOURCE: X

Well [expletive] me gently with a chainsaw, she's right. The 1980s cult classic starring Winona Ryder and Shannen Doherty really is the Mean Girls of the '80s and a much better term than Karen.

The disdain is mutual...

The Breakfast Club

SOURCE: X

Most of my Gen X friends have Gen Z kids and they are intergenerationally very chill with each other. However, Gen X is the generation most likely to have Boomer parents and younger millennial kids, and this meme seems to be resonating a bunch with Xers of a certain age.

A lot of Xers are enjoying the "OK boomer" squabble.

SOURCE: X

The media tends to ignore Generation X as a whole—as a few tweets coming up demonstrate—and that's nothing new. After all, they're used to it. They were latchkey kids whose parents both worked long hours, so they're used to being somewhat neglected.

"No one cares what we think anyway..."

via GIPHY

This GIF of Janeane Garofolo mocking her classmates at the high school reunion is basically a whole Gen X mood and definitely captures how a lot of this generation caught in the middle feels about the "OK boomer" wars.

A whole mood.

SOURCE: X

Gen X: "Look, don't pull us into this. You'll make me spill my beer."

Gen X: Get used to it.

SOURCE: X

Perhaps Gen X's blasé attitude to the generation wars has something to do with being called "Slackers" for a full decade.

Pass the popcorn.

SOURCE: X

Aside from this whole "Karen generation" blip, Gen X continues to be largely overlooked, and that fact—as well as their silent delight in it—is possibly one of the most Generation X things to happen.

Pay no attention to the man behind the venetian blinds.

SOURCE: X

Back in the '90s, Gen X bore the same kind of criticism Boomers tend to heap on Millennials and Gen Z now. It's not necessarily that they want to watch a cage match. It's just they're so relieved the heat is aimed elsewhere.

See?

SOURCE: TWITTER

Although this chart doesn't list the generation names, the approximate age ranges are all there...except for a big gap between the ages of 35 and 54 where apparently no humans were born? Poor Gen X (and some elder Millennials) apparently don't have political beliefs worth examining.

Don't you forget about me...

SOURCE: X

If Millennials are the "burnout generation," I guess Gen X is truly the invisible generation. I'm starting to feel inspired to write a science fiction novel where everyone born from 1965 to 1980 inhabits a totally different dimension.

There are perks to being invisible...

SOURCE: X

Being overlooked can be an advantage when you just want to sit in the corner and be immature.

Party on.

SOURCE: X

Before Brené Brown was telling us all how to dare greatly, Gen X got their inspirational advice from a different kind of Ted and his pal Bill, who taught us all how important it is to learn from history and be excellent to each other.

Too late and yet too early.

SOURCE: X

Romance—or getting lucky—was never easy for Generation X. They were the generation most impacted by the AIDS epidemic when it comes to anxiety about casual sex. Whereas Boomers had the free love of the late '60s, Gen X was about safe sex, which usually meant less sex. And even when having safe casual sex, singles in the '90s had to meet people the old-fashioned way or, if they did meet online, they felt shame over it. Now online dating is the norm.

When Gen X replaces the Boomers.

SOURCE: X

This is probably an optimistic view—because the truth is there are "Boomers" in every generation, and many of them tend to find their way into powerful positions. Let's call this a best case scenario, though.

The Nihilism Generation

SOURCE: X

There is no generation more over it than Gen X. They are ready for the apocalypse, but don't expect them to, like, help or anything!

Now we have Generation Alpha to contend with, so let's hope they're more chill about the generation wars than their predecessors. And as of 2025, an even newer generation is starting: Generation Beta. Hopefully, the fighting will have died down.


This article originally appeared five years ago.

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Pop Culture

Parents who grew up in the '70s and '80s remember the experiences that blow their kids' minds

Kids were tougher then for a reason.

via Wikimedia Commons

Island School Class, circa 1970s.

Parents, do you think your child would be able to survive if they were transported back to the '70s or '80s? Could they live at a time before the digital revolution put a huge chunk of our lives online? These days, everyone has a phone in their pocket, but before then, if you were in public and needed to call someone, you used a pay phone. Can you remember the last time you stuck 50 cents into one and grabbed the grubby handset?

According to the U.S. Federal Communications Commission, roughly 100,000 pay phones remain in the U.S., down from 2 million in 1999. Do you think a 10-year-old kid would have any idea how to use a payphone in 2022? Would they be able to use a Thomas Guide map to find out how to get somewhere? If they stepped into a time warp and wound up in 1975, could they throw a Led Zeppelin album on the record player at a party?

Another big difference between now and life in the '70s and '80s has been public attitudes toward smoking cigarettes. In 1965, 42.4% of Americans smoked and now, it’s just 12.5%. This sea change in public opinion about smoking means there are fewer places where smoking is deemed acceptable.

But in the early '80s, you could smoke on a bus, on a plane, in a movie theater, in restaurants, in the classroom and even in hospitals. How would a child of today react if their third grade teacher lit up a heater in the middle of math class?

Dan Wuori, senior director of early learning at the Hunt Institute, tweeted that his high school had a smoking area “for the kids.” He then asked his followers to share “something you experienced as a kid that would blow your children’s minds.”


A lot of folks responded with stories of how ubiquitous smoking was when they were in school. While others explained that life was perilous for a kid, whether it was the school playground equipment or questionable car seats.

Here are a few responses that’ll show today’s kids just how crazy life used to be in the '70s and '80s.

First of all, let’s talk about smoking.

Want to call someone? Need to get picked up from baseball practice? You can’t text mom or dad, you’ll have to grab a quarter and use a pay phone.

People had little regard for their kids’ safety or health.

You could buy a soda in school.

Things were a lot different before the internet.

Remember pen pals?

A lot of people bemoan the fact that the children of today aren’t as tough as they were a few decades back. But that’s probably because the parents of today are better attuned to their kids’ needs so they don't have to cheat death to make it through the day.

But just imagine how easy parenting would be if all you had to do was throw your kids a bag of Doritos and a Coke for lunch and you never worried about strapping them into a car seat?


This article originally appeared three years ago.

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Single dad receives letter from late wife and immediately gets a DNA test

"She wrote a letter for me before she died, but I couldn’t bring myself to read it until now."

via Nathan Cowley/Pexels

A devastated man sitting by the ocean.

Ten months after a man’s wife passed away, he finally got the courage to read a letter she left him, which contained a devastating admission. The 4-year-old son they had together may not be his.

“My ‘darling’ wife passed away 10 months ago,” the man wrote on Reddit’s Off My Chest forum. “She wrote a letter for me before she died, but I couldn’t bring myself to read it until now. She told me how sorry she was that she didn’t have the guts to tell me this to my face when she was alive.”

In the letter, the wife revealed that there was a “good chance” that the son he thought was his wasn’t his biological child. A few weeks before their wedding day, the wife got drunk at her bachelorette party and had a one-night stand with another man. Soon after that night, she became pregnant but was unsure who the father was.


The man was torn whether or not to have the paternity test done. The child had only one parent in this world, and he would have to take care of him regardless. He also thought it was cowardly that his former wife would wait until she was no longer around to share the truth with him.

dads, dna test, paternity test

A father and son playing with a train.

via Pavel Danilyuk/Pexels

“So she thought she’d rather drop this bomb on my life when I could no longer confront her about it,” the man wrote. “Now that my son would only have one parent looking out for him, and she’d have no idea how I would even react. Maybe I should not have got the paternity test done. Maybe it might be better to live in ignorance. But I just had to know.”

The man took the paternity test and learned he wasn’t the child’s biological father.

“I’m devastated. This doesn’t change how I feel about my son,” he wrote. “He’s my whole world and he’s innocent. But boy, does it hurt. There’s so much going on in my head right now. I haven’t stopped crying. Thank god my son is at my parents' place for the day. I’d hate for him to see me like this.”

Facing a pain nearly too much for him to bear, the only outlet he had at the moment was reaching out to Reddit to find some solace. “I just needed to let this all out. Don’t have it in me to tell anyone in my life about this right now,” he wrote.

The commenters send him hundreds of messages of support to get him through the shock of first learning the truth about his family.

dna test, paterneity test, sad dad

A depressed man sit on the couch.

via Alena Darmel/Pexels

The most popular message was straightforward and honest. "All your feelings are valid, a lot of people will react with some kind of toxic positivity to things like these. Your feelings are valid. Each and everyone," femunndsmarka wrote.

Another commenter added that someday, his son will appreciate how he stepped up and did what was right in a very trying circumstance. “He is going to find out the truth one day. Imagine how much more he will love you knowing you didn’t leave him, even though he wasn’t yours,” ImNotGoodatThis6969.

Another commenter provided valuable insight from the son’s perspective.

"As an adopted child, I just want to thank you on behalf of your son. I deeply believe it changes nothing, family is not about blood, its about who you love, want to have by your side, and care for the most. Sending hugs, strength and gratitude," Mariuuq wrote.

The father at the heart of this story is understandably devastated because his life was upended almost overnight. But the hope in the story is that his trials also taught him a powerful truth—his love for his son goes much deeper than blood.


This article originally two years ago.


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