This guy hilariously explains why women should not be so hard on themselves

@andr3wsky on TikTok shares expertise on troll-dom.
"Look it's not in my nature to gatekeep this close to the sun but ladies, you have got to be easier on yourselves."
With his endearing Ted Lasso mustache and Ryan Reynolds dorky charm, Andrew, @andre3wsky on TikTok, is no stranger to gifting the world comical, well-loved videos. One of his latest is a response to a girl who posted a TikTok of herself in sweatpants, declaring to the world that she's single because she looks "like a goblin cave troll."
@andr3wsky #stitch with @savanahnoelll ♬ original sound - Andrew
Sorority girl who slept in? Maybe. But goblin cave troll? That's a little much.
Unafraid to let his nerd flag fly, Andrew argued that "just throwing on a pair of sweatpants doesn't suddenly make you a threat to a group of low-level adventures. You have no idea the depths of goblin troll-dom us men inhabit on a daily basis. You are but travelers in a strange and distant land."
Clearly someone has played a campaign or two of Dungeons and Dragons. But I digress.
Andrew continued: "Look at this woman. She's doing amazing. Her clothes aren't evening wear but they're clean. The other day I used a T-shirt as a rag when I changed my oil. Wore it the next day." He added, almost proudly, that he didn't even wash it.
He also noticed how the supposed cave troll's bed "might as well be the bed of European nobility" since it had a bedframe, sheets, and most luxurious of all, a mattress. I couldn't believe he failed to mention the two, I repeat, TWO matching lamps on either side of the bed. Sitting on two matching nightstands, no less.
"She's not sleeping on a pile of clean clothes that she refers to as 'the nest,'" Andrew continued, sharing that "in undergrad I had four pieces of furniture, if you include 'the nest.' The other ones were a television, a PlayStation 3 and a minivan seat I found on the curb when I moved in. People still slept with me." Viewers found that last line especially hilarious.
One person wrote, "I literally lived in a large cardboard box next to an alley. Rats under the floor constantly. Beautiful women still slept with me." Um, wow … good for that person.
Many commenters were quick to accuse the woman of fishing for compliments, and where this is maybe (probably) true, the double standard between men and women is still very existent. Comedian Iliza Shlesinger has made entire stand-up routines about it, including a fan favorite bit where she goes into how men and women eat during a date.
In the bit, Iliza states that "society dictates that guys can do whatever they want and girls have to be dainty, so he's gonna get fries, a burger, half a gazelle. Girls, you get the menu and what are you ordering? A salad."
This joke was featured in Shlesinger's Netflix special "War Paint," which premiered in 2013. And yet here we are eight years later still calling ourselves monsters, in an attempt to gain attention and validation from the outside world. But hey, without insecurity, we wouldn't have comedy, right?
To the TikTok informants warning Andrew that he might have succumbed to the girl's fishing for compliments, the eternal optimist says "That's okay. Compliments are easy and free. If someone wants one, I'm happy to give it (and also I'm an expert fisherman)."
Check out more TikToks from Andrew if you're looking for a reason to smile today.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.