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“A balm for the soul”
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GOOD PEOPLE Book
upworthy
Joy

European tourist describes the things he likes most and least about traveling across America

A lot of Americans agreed with him.

european tourists, best parts of america, worst of america

A server taking orders in a restaurant and a man enjoying a U.S. National Park

When we try to take stock of where we live, sometimes we can be too close to things to appreciate what's right in front of our eyes. It can also be hard to accurately assess some of the problems we’ve learned to live with over the years.

That’s why a Reddit post by a Dutch tourist who spent some time in the U.S. resonates with many Americans and Europeans alike. In the post, a Reddit user named MikJon shared the things they liked and didn’t like about their time in America.

They noted they didn’t post anything about politics, taxes or healthcare because those issues aren't relevant to tourists.

Here are the 5 things that they liked:


1. Nature

Raw, wild and untouched, and—most of all—VAST. The sheer vastness AND variety of nature and pure wilderness here are definitely unmatched in Europe. Specifically the little nature we have in The Netherlands is laughable compared to the USA.

2. People

People are generally approachable and friendly. Yes, I do like Americans, at least their overall demeanor. I would be greeted and asked where I'm from, even by someone at the 7-11. In general Dutch people are quite rude.

3. Free refills!

This is a small thing but really unheard of in the Netherlands. In my country, you pay the same price for just one tiny cup of coffee. In fact, all drinks you order are tiny in The Netherlands and you pay for each one.

4. Traffic lights across the street

I can't for the life of my understand why we still have to lean over the steering wheel and get a sore neck looking straight upward at the traffic lights in Europe.

5. The doggy bag

You MIGHT be able to get to take your leftover with you in certain places in The Netherlands, but it is really not the norm, and would surely raise an eyebrow if you ask. Here it is normal and I find it very good to not let the food go to waste. Besides, I did pay for it so it's nice to be able to take it with me.

Here are the top 4 things they liked least:


1. Tipping!

Why the heck do I need to be partly responsible for a proper salary for these people? Also, it is just annoying to have to calculate the tip every time. It is also annoying that listed prices are almost exclusively without tax. In my country—and across most of Europe as far as I'm aware—you pay exactly what is listed as the price. No hidden surprises.

2. The food, especially breakfast

Almost everything contains sugar. Breakfast is never with fresh bread and fresh good meats and cheese. In fact, American cheese is awful, but maybe I'm spoiled living in a cheese country. For dinner the food isn't quite as bad, but it's still nowhere near the quality and variety that you find in Europe.

3. Plastic!

Too much plastic is a problem in Europe also, but the amount of plastic (and styrofoam or other disposable crap) used here is bizarre. I also find it really bizarre that in every hotel breakfast, it's all disposable cutlery and plates also. You really NEVER see this in Europe, not even in the cheapest hotels.

4. Imperial measurements

Gallons, miles, feet and especially Fahrenheit is so bizarre. Also because the conversion factor to metric is odd. Almost all the world, as well as the scientific world, uses metric which makes so much more sense in every way. Why does the U.S. hold on to such an archaic system?

A Belgian Redditor named Jakisirtaki mostly agreed with the original poster.

PRO:

European (Belgian) here who just came back from a one-month road trip in the U.S. I'm so jealous of the magnificent nature you have in your country. I saw so many beautiful sights! Please treasure it. I disagree with the low-quality food, I had both really good meals and really poor ones. Best Thai food I ever had was in LA. Also, so many places sell drip coffee just the way I like it, not some watered-down espressos. Loved that! Another like were the many (mostly) clean and free restrooms.

Having to pay for using a dirty restroom in a rest area along the highway in Europe sucks. That being said, some restrooms in the U.S. really didn't care about my privacy with one-inch gaps everywhere. Driving was so convenient, being a pedestrian not so much. I biked through SF but couldn't say I felt very safe.

CON:

Dislikes were the tipping culture and prices listed pre-tax. I mean, I ordered food or drinks to go a couple of times where I often had to tip in advance only for something to go wrong with my order. Not getting my tip back am I?

Domina from New Zealand is a big fan of Americans’ “can-do” attitude.

Like:

Sports culture, have-a-go culture, general enjoyment of life, being encouraging of people that are willing to try something or hustle, low barrier to entry for someone starting a business, online shopping, gas stoves, diversity across the different parts of the country, super friendly, most people are big on values, pride in keeping towns tidy.

Dislike:

Tipping (I know you have it already but seriously, what gives), treatment of indigenous history, lack of consumer protection, level of poverty, strange policy-making that reinforces lack of trust in government, occasional respect for road rules, hard-to-access to good quality produce at a reasonable price, no ring-pulls on tinned food.

Just pet peeves. Overall I freaking love being in U.S.! This country rules and will continue to rule!

Edit: I forgot to add innovation. It feels like this country could invent anything.

Kelpo has a real problem with how people get around in Los Angeles.

I went to LA recently and found the car-centric culture suuuuper inconvenient for a tourist. Every time you want to see a thing, you need to research it beforehand and then drive there. Want to see another thing? More research, then drive. In just about any other city I've ever been I would just head to the city center and explore on foot and pop in to whatever place looked interesting.

Admittedly it was a short trip and maybe I did it wrong, but the closest thing to being able to just wander around was in downtown, and even there, you occasionally have to walk over a nice 8-lane highway, which is a long way to walk (and be wary of certain neighborhoods and whatever).

That and since a car had to be involved at every step, you couldn't really stop for a few beers or whatever. I guess locals either plan their days better or drive drunk.

An American who goes by HTC864 took on the original poster’s points one by one and, for the most part, agreed.

Nature

Natural resources have always been the big selling point.

People

People are generally approachable and friendly. I think this changes depending on which area of the country you're in, but I also don't know anything about the Dutch in comparison.

Free refills

Just [happy face emoji]

Traffic lights across the street

Weird to me that it would be any other way.

The doggy bag

I wouldn't have thought this was an issue anywhere. Is the resistance to taking home food a European thing or just in the Netherlands?

Tipping

Hard agree. I think most of us know this system isn't helpful and should be done away with.

The food, especially breakfast

There are a lot of variances, but we do overuse sugar (and salt) on top of having larger-than-needed portions.

Plastic

Again, hard agree. We need to do more to reduce our overuse of plastics, although we'll probably never be rid of them.

Imperial measurements

Doesn't bother my day-to-day, but it would make more sense for there to be one international standard.

A New Yorker with the username inbettywhitewetrust realized they need to appreciate the beauty in their own backyard.

As a New Yorker, it's funny to see the vastness of nature as the first one. Your post motivates me to go on domestic vacations instead of galavanting around Europe in the summers; I really haven't seen any of the U.S. aside from the East Coast's major cities.

Accomplished-Sky-434, an American who recently visited the Netherlands, turned the conversation around and shared what they thought about the original poster’s city.

Pros:

Amsterdam is a beautiful city. It was pretty clean and felt safe too!

Fresh and tasty food everywhere! Maybe this is just my perception from my recent experience but every meal we ate seemed like it was made from fresh ingredients. Made everything seem that much more tasty. Especially the cheese!

The walkability. A 30-minute walk in Amsterdam city center was nothing. If anything it was a delight walking past tiny cafes and beautiful buildings. In the U.S. a 30-minute walk is a no-go almost anywhere. A 30-minute walk in Texas means you're walking along major roads and under/over freeway overpasses.

Tipping was totally not expected! Anytime I did tip the servers in NL were genuinely grateful. Unlike the U.S. where if you don’t tip it’s viewed very negatively.

Lots of really cool things to do. From museums to river cruises and coffee shops. Need I say more?

Cons:

Taxi drivers try to take advantage of you. Maybe this is the same in the U.S. but I don’t ever use taxis here. In Amsterdam, I tried approaching taxi drivers and they almost always made up some kind of excuse like "minimum payment is €40 regardless of distance" or "I can only take you this far, you have to walk the rest.’" I learned to just use Uber while I was there.

Hard to find gluten-free food! I have celiac disease so I have to eat gluten-free. Not much of a problem in the U.S. for a number of reasons but in the Netherlands, restaurants rarely advertised gluten-free options, had gluten-free menus, or had any items on their menu that were gluten-free.

Culture

Kristen Bell and Dax Shepard open up about being attracted to other people - and why that's OK

For many couples, bringing up such a sensitive topic can cause some major jealousy.

via The Walt Disney Company / Flickr

One of the ways to tell if you're in a healthy relationship is whether you and your partner are free to talk about other people you find attractive. For many couples, bringing up such a sensitive topic can cause some major jealousy.

Of course, there's a healthy way to approach such a potentially dangerous topic.

Telling your partner you find someone else attractive shouldn't be about making them feel jealous. It's probably also best that if you're attracted to a coworker, friend, or their sibling, that you keep it to yourself.


But, being open about your sexual feelings, can be a way to spice things up in the bedroom and to let your partner know what you like.

Actress and mental health advocate Kristen Bell admits that she and her husband, actor Dax Shepard, have learned how to be open about their attraction to other people. The couple believes that being able to talk about such taboo topics without making each other jealous is a great way to preserve their relationship.

"He can tell me someone he finds attractive, female or male, 'cause he pauses the Olympics on a lot of runners, but it doesn't make me feel like he's going to leave me for that person because I'm not allowing my self-esteem to be affected," she explained.

Bell believes that it's completely normal and healthy for people in monogamous relationships to be attracted to other people.

"I know there are people on planet Earth that are more attractive than me, and well, we're not dead. I have to acknowledge we're monkeys," Bell said. As an attractive, famous couple working in Hollywood, there is extra pressure for them to be able to handle their jealousy.

The couple has also done a good job at accepting the fact that Bell is the primary bread-winner in the family. Studies show men have higher levels of stress if their wives earn more than 40% of their home's combined income.

About a third of women in the U.S. make more than their husbands.

While Shepard has had a successful career, acting in films such as "Idiocracy" and "Without a Paddle," Bell has starred in some major hits including, "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" and the "Bad Moms" films.

She's also made a pretty penny voicing Princess Anna in Disney's "Frozen" franchise.

"I think I've always out-earned him," Bell said about their careers. "I got a lot of opportunity, you're sharing in it, we're able to provide for a ton of our family members who may or may not be struggling," she continued, as if addressing Shepard. "I don't look at it like, 'This is mine and this is yours.' I'm like, 'This is ours. Get over it.'"

Bell believes that the couple's ability to get over petty jealousy is one way to make sure their unique relationship stands the test of time.

"Do you want to be on the porch with someone when you're 80?" Bell asked. "We both want that."


This article originally appeared on 5.6.21

via YouTube

History is full of great stories about bitter battles between loyal opposition. In basketball, there was Magic Johnson and Larry Bird. In the '80s, harsh political battles were fought between Ronald Reagan and Tip O'Neill. But all of these rivals respected their opposition as competitors in their respective fields. Now, a year-long battle between a cleaning crew and a street artist can be added to history's legendary battles between loyal opposition.


Mobstr is a London-based street artist famous for the sarcastic typographic-based graffiti he's written across London's walls and billboards. His cat-and-mouse relationship with an unidentified city worker began on July 17, 2014, and would continue for an entire year.

"I cycled past this wall on the way to work for years," Mobstr wrote on his website. " I noticed that graffiti painted within the red area was 'buffed' with red paint. However, graffiti outside of the red area would be removed via pressure washing. This prompted the start of an experiment. Unlike other works, I was very uncertain as to what results it would yield.”

Watch the video below and see what happens:

This article originally appeared on 09.23.17.

Sustainability

Scientists tested 3 popular bottled water brands for nanoplastics using new tech, and yikes

The results were alarming—an average of 240,000 nanoplastics per 1 liter bottle—but what does it mean for our health?

Suzy Hazelwood/Canva

Columbia University researchers tested bottled water for nanoplastics and found hundreds of thousands of them.

Evian, Fiji, Voss, SmartWater, Aquafina, Dasani—it's impressive how many brands we have for something humans have been consuming for millennia. Despite years of studies showing that bottled water is no safer to drink than tap water, Americans are more consuming more bottled water than ever, to the tune of billions of dollars in bottled water sales.

People cite convenience and taste in addition to perceived safety for reasons they prefer bottle to tap, but the fear factor surrounding tap water is still a driving force. It doesn't help when emergencies like floods cause tap water contamination or when investigations reveal issues with lead pipes in some communities, but municipal water supplies are tested regularly, and in the vast majority of the U.S., you can safely grab a glass of water from a tap.


And now, a new study on nanoplastics found in three popular bottled water brands is throwing more data into the bottled vs. tap water choice

Researchers from Columbia University used a new laser-guided technology to detect nanoplastics that had previously evaded detection due to their miniscule size.

The new technology can detect, count and analyze and chemical structure of nanoparticles, and they found seven different major types of plastic: polyamide, polypropylene, polyethylene, polymethyl methacrylate, polyvinyl chloride, polystyrene, and polyethylene terephthalate.

In contrast to a 2018 study that found around 300 plastic particles in an average liter of bottled water, the study published in the journal Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences in January of 2024 found 240,000 nanoplastic particles per liter bottle on average between the three brands studied. (The name of the brands were not indicated in the study.)

As opposed to microplastics, nanoplastics are too small to be seen by microscope. Their size is exactly why experts are concerned about them, as they are small enough to invade human cells and potentially disrupt cellular processes.

“Micro and nanoplastics have been found in the human placenta at this point. They’ve been found in human lung tissues. They’ve been found in human feces; they’ve been found in human blood,” study coauthor Phoebe Stapleton, associate professor of pharmacology and toxicology at Rutgers University’s Ernest Mario School of Pharmacy told CNN Health,

We know that nanoplastics are making their way into our bodies. We just don't have enough research yet on what that means for our health, and we still have more questions than answers. How many nanoplastics does it take to do damage and/or cause disease? What kinds of damage or disease might they cause? Is whatever effect they might have cumulative? We simply don't have answers to these questions yet.

That's not to say there's no cause for concern.

We do know that certain levels of microplastic exposure have been shown to adversely affect the viability of cells. Nanoplastics are even smaller—does that mean they are more likely to cause cellular damage? Science is still working that out.

According to Dr. Sara Benedé of the Spanish National Research Council’s Institute of Food Science Research, it's not just the plastics themselves that might cause damage, but what they may bring along with them. “[Microparticles and nanoparticles] have the ability to bind all kinds of compounds when they come into contact with fluids, thus acting as carriers of all kinds of substances including environmental pollutants, toxins, antibiotics, or microorganisms,” Dr. Benedé told Medical News Today.

water plastic bottle on seashorePhoto by Brian Yurasits on Unsplash

Where is this plastic in water coming from?

This study focused on bottled water, which is almost always packaged in plastic. The filters used to filter the water before bottling are also frequently made from plastic.

Is it possible that some of these nanoplastics were already present in the water from their original sources? Again, research is always evolving on this front, but microplastics have been detected in lakes, streams and other freshwater sources, so it's not a big stretch to imagine that nanoplastics may be making their way into freshwater ecosystems as well. However, microplastics are found at much higher levels in bottled water than tap water, so it's also not a stretch to assume that most of the nanoplastics are likely coming from the bottling process and packaging rather than from freshwater sources.

assorted bottled waters on shelfPhoto by Giuseppe Famiani on Unsplash

The reality is, though, we simply don't know yet.

“Based on other studies we expected most of the microplastics in bottled water would come from leakage of the plastic bottle itself, which is typically made of PET (polyethylene terephthalate) plastic,” lead author Naixin Qian, a doctoral student in chemistry at Columbia University, told CNN Health. “However, we found there’s actually many diverse types of plastics in a bottle of water, and that different plastic types have different size distributions. The PET particles were larger, while others were down to 200 nanometers, which is much, much smaller.”

We need to drink water, and we need to drink safe water. At this point, we have plenty of environmental reasons for avoiding bottled water unless absolutely necessary and opting for tap water instead. Even if there's still more research to be done, the presence of hundreds of thousands of nanoplastics in bottled water might just be another reason to make the switch.


This article originally appeared on 2.2.24

Unsplash

A 30-year-old gay man took to r/NoStupidQuestions with, one could argue, a question that put the name of the subreddit to the test.

"Why do women behave so strangely until they find out I'm gay?"

User u/taco_nacho_burrito wrote that when he talks to women, they start off "super quiet, reserved, uninterested in making any sort of effort into whatever the interaction is."

Once he turns on the more flamboyant side of his personality, or mentions his boyfriend, the interactions do a 180 and women become "bright, bubbly and conversational."

Why is that?

Women were quick to chime in with the obvious answer. And more than a few stories.

man and woman facing each other at a bar Photo by LexScope on Unsplash

User sunny_hill_1 put it the best and most succinctly:

"Many times if a girl is bright, conversational, nice, and kind to a straight man, these straight men will take it as flirting. So women act reserved and uninterested to not invite romantic attention. Once they realize that you aren't going to be interested in them, they relax and can act bright and bubbly without it being taken the wrong way."

As if there was any doubt, the women in the comments came with receipts.

User S0baka wrote how they once touched a guy friend on the forearm and he went on have a relentless and aggressive crush on her for two years. Two years for a friendly forearm touch!

u/premadecookiedough writes: "Had a coworker of about 3 days once break up with his gf because I'm a totally easy lay and have been all over him at work. He bragged about it to multiple coworkers. Someone had to break it to him that I am both gay and in a relationship and I really was just being friendly."

u/Saturniids84 added: "The years I spent working retail/waitressing taught me men will convince themselves you are into them if you give them nothing more than a polite smile and friendly customer service. Just about every young female coworker I ever had ended up with a stalker or two. You learn young not to give men anything they could remotely misinterpret as interest."

"The potential threat disappears with your assumed heterosexuality. What you're seeing is them relaxing," explains u/pootles_carrot

How straight men can make women more comfortable in conversation

woman in black and white crew neck shirt smiling Photo by Megan Bucknall on Unsplash

The explanation makes total sense. It's not that women are suddenly excited about the (problematic) prospect of having a "gay best friend," it's that they feel safe enough to actually let their personality out without repercussions.

But where does that leave heterosexual men who want the women they interact with to feel safe? What do you do if you don't want someone to feel uncomfortable talking to you, but you don't know how to counteract the years of conditioning that have led them to that survival instinct?

Some of the Reddit commenters had some good ideas, and I reached out to a few experts, as well. Here are some tips — not for dating or flirting — but for how to have better and more positive human interactions.

Be mindful of proximity and touch.

Don't stand too close or attempt any physical contact, even if it's friendly.

"It’s much better to get to be too impersonal early on than coming off too strongly," says Thomas Banta, a clinical mental health counselor.

Talk to women like men

"Pay attention to how you talk to women vs the other men in your life," adds Banta. "If you’re saying [something] to a woman you’d never say to a guy, there’s a good chance that what you’re saying can be interpreted as flirty or boundary pushing."

Avoid physical compliments

"Compliments or observations should center around shared experiences, ideas, or interests, rather than anything that could be misinterpreted as personal or suggestive," suggests Joseph Cavins, a licensed marriage and family therapist.

"When a woman feels like she is being appreciated for her thoughts and perspectives, it fosters a sense of ease and mutual respect.

Be clear about intentions, but don't overexplain

Being explicit in the fact that you're not flirting can be reassuring, but don't overdo it.

Cavins adds that trying too hard to prove you're a good guy can come across as manipulative.

Be woman-approved

"Women trust 'straight' men that have been verified by other women. You having a baby is enough signal for women to feel safer around you and let their guard down" writes reddit user a_chill_transplant.

If you're really just looking for a friendly chat, bringing along a female friend or going out of your way to mention your spouse could help lower a person's guard.

If you can't be gay, be old!

The general consensus seems to be that the older the man, the less likely he is to get weird.

"Men absolutely become safer with age and the exact same compliments go from hackles up to, 'oh, thank you'." - breadystinellis

Although, commenters in the thread point out, be extra careful here. The betrayal and disgust when a so-called "safe" older guy turns creepy can be devastating.

It's heartbreaking to read how young the conditioning starts for most women. By the time most are 13 or so, they're already starting to learn how to suppress their personalities in certain situations so as not to give men "the wrong idea."

Straight guys can help by a) not being creeps and b) not getting upset when women we don't know are cold or standoffish. They have a lifetime of data that says they probably can't trust us.

Trust is something that has to be earned.

Evan Porter/Upworthy

Digital creator joyyunspeakable woke up to a sight that would send anyone into an utter tailspin.

Her husband of eleven years had left her a note. On the envelope, a cryptic and heart-pounding message:

"To my wife."

Inside the envelope, a letter read: "Let me start this off by saying that I Love You dearly. You mean the world to me. However..."

You don't need to be a marriage counselor to know that's not good news.

She feared the worst.

Joyyunspeakable shared a photo of the letter on social media with the caption, "Ladies ... choose yourself. I woke up to this nonsense after almost 11 years of marriage."

If you click the image and read closely, however, you'll find that the husband's letter isn't at all what it seems! It reads:

"Dear wife,

"Let me start this off by saying that I Love You dearly. You mean the world to me. However i owe it to myself as well as you to be completely honest with you. I have to come forward with my truth. I hate to do it this way but it's now or never because what I'm about to say has to be said."

The husband's 'truth'? He wanted to watch the basketball game that night without being bothered.

The husband, Fred, was extremely clear that he would be watching the New York Knicks kick off their NBA season that evening, and he would not be engaging in any outside activities during that time.

"No I will not watch our shows with you," he wrote. "No i will not get you something sweet. I will not take the dog out. ... I will sit on my couch, drink in hand and I will watch the game."

My personal favorite part is the P.S. at the end.

"The child may stay up past bedtime only if he watches the game with me. If he doesn't want to watch then off to bed with him. Thanks"

Everyone has needs in a marriage, including the need for alone time! Learning to communicate those needs in a healthy way isn't always easy

This 'Fred' sounds like a stand up dude.

He's firmly stated his need to watch the game, alone, without being interrupted. And he's done it in a funny way that reduces conflict and makes his wife laugh.

(He also encourages discussion by inviting his wife to contact him with any questions.)

Having alone time in a marriage or partnership is crucial, and can strengthen your connection with your partner! So it's easy to see this as just another "man wants to watch sports," story when really it's a "committed husband and father wants to fill his own cup" story.

Telling your partner that you want to be alone without hurting their feelings isn't always easy. Fred has managed to do it in a hilarious and effective way.

The story and photos quickly went viral across all social media platforms, drawing responses from Sports Illustrated, Yahoo! Sports, and DraftKings, to name just a few.

Almost unanimously, everyone agreed the prank was hysterical.

One user did chime in, though: "This is funny, but what is it with men and sports that makes them get like this? I don't understand, it's weird."

Joyyunspeakable simply said: "He forgets I exist and I love it because I like my alone time [too]"

Win win!