It's easy to see why people get excited about diamond rings.
They're shiny, they're beautiful, and they're stunning visual proof of a moment of intense happiness for many couples.Â
"You're engaged?! Let's see the ring!"
"Post it to Facebook immediately!" Photo via iStock
But there's an ugly side to engagement and wedding rings, too. And that's the idea that the carat count ought to reflect a couple's status in life, the size of their love, or the strength of their commitment.
According to data from 2012 from the Jewelers of America, Americans spend an average of around $4,000 on engagement rings. Wedding website The Knot pegged the number somewhere closer to $6,000 in 2014.
If our obsession with fancy diamond rings is indeed rising, it's probably not because we're learning to love each other more.Â
We're just feeling more pressure than ever to keep up.
Rachel Pederson was getting a lot of comments from friends and family about the size of her ring. Eventually, she had enough.
Rachel is a marketer and social media personality, so she had the perfect platform to say what was on her mind.
It didn't take long for her response to go viral.
Here's the full text:
"Yes, I know that my wedding ring is small.
Friends and family often ask me when I'm going to have it 'upgraded'.... After all, it doesn't represent the level of success we are achieving.
I've even had one person say 'you could wear a bigger ring for important events, so people don't think you're not successful.'
Wait a minute.... Since when did the size of someone's ring become an indication of success?!
For me, the ring is SO much more.
My ring symbolizes a whirlwind, storybook, 'make you sick' love story.... It reminds me of how my husband and I met and fell at in love in one night at a Perkin's diner.
He worked as a window washer, and I was a single mother.
One short week later, and we professed our love to one another, him leading the conversation.
We couldn't stop dreaming of our future, so excited to have a baby, buy a house, and fall asleep together every night.
We couldn't wait for the future. So we didn't.
13 days after meeting, we eloped. I didn't even THINK about a ring until my husband surprised me before the ceremony. He drained his savings to gift me with a small token of his love.
I say small, only because it pales in comparison with how big his love is, even now, after years of marriage.
That, my friends, is success to me."
Bam! Thanks, Rachel, for the excellent reminder.
No one wins when we play the ring-size game. Ring buyers feel the stress of breaking the bank while ring wearers might feel pressure to eventually "upgrade" their ring if it's small or to explain away discrepancies between the sizes of their diamond and their bank account.
And, hey, some people really want to express their love with a big ol' diamond. That's fine too.
Let's just not forget what great marriages are really made of: love, passion, and a lot of hard work.
Next to those, even the brightest diamonds in the world pale in comparison.