A weight-loss clinic used her photo without asking. So she called them up.
'So here's the thing. Umm ... you can't do that.'
Meghan Tonjes awoke to an interesting Facebook message a few days ago.
It didn't bring the best news.
GIF via Meghan Tonjes/YouTube.
The message was from one of Tonjes' 237,000 subscribers on YouTube. She's a popular vlogger, so getting a message from one of them isn't that uncommon.
But this message was particularly ... interesting.
A subscriber asked her about an apparent photo of Tonjes being used as an ad at a weight-loss clinic in Georgia.
Yep, the photo was of her. And nope, it was not being used with her permission.
GIFs via Meghan Tonjes/YouTube.
"I was in shock," Tonjes told Upworthy. "Shock soon became anger."
The story that accompanied Tonjes' photo in the ad made matters worse. It claimed that Tonjes' initials were "D.A." (nope), that her weight was 230 pounds (wrong again; she's actually more like 270), and that she was a mother trying to shed fat after having a baby (three strikes — you're out).
Here's what it looked like:
"It's such a misrepresentation of my weight and why I'm at that weight," Tonjes explained.
It's not even that the clinic alluded to the fact Tonjes is fat. In fact, as a fat activist, "fat" is a label she wears proudly.
Tonjes is an outspoken advocate for loving yourself regardless of your shape or size and has been working to end misconceptions about what it means to be fat for years.
"I think it's important to remember that the word 'fat' is not in itself hurtful," she explained in a video back in 2012, noting she's not offended by the label. "It's all the things that you attach to the word 'fat.' Call me lazy, call me unmotivated, call me ugly, call me sloppy, call me unhygienic, call me all these other things that people associate with the word 'fat' — that is not true."
GIFs via Meghan Tonjes/YouTube.
She's onto something. Because while there's no shortage of harmful stereotypes about being fat — like that fat people are certainly unhealthy, that they must lack willpower, or that they're surely desperate for dates — the over-generalizations don't hold up. (So before you think, "But isn't Meghan encouraging people to live unhealthfully?" — nah, not at all.)
Tonjes was outraged because the clinic used her photo to promote a method of losing weight she certainly would not endorse — even if they had asked for permission.
"This business is selling a dream of meaningful or long-term weight loss through injections and special drops," she told Upworthy. "Now, I'm not a doctor, but..."
Tonjes did what many of us would do — she called the weight-loss clinic's office and demanded answers. The doctor in charge was apparently on vacation, so Tonjes left a message with the receptionist.
GIFs via Meghan Tonjes/YouTube.
“I just wanted to let the doctor know that I hope that he had a good day off, and I will be contacting my lawyer," she says on the phone with the clinic in her video. "Because that's incredibly illegal to use my face as advertising without payment and without notification."
Although Tonjes threatened legal action in her video, she told Upworthy she believes the conversation around using photos without a person's consent — especially to promote something that person might not support and that might not even be true — is the most important thing right now.
"Be critical of businesses using photos like this," she said. "Be critical of any business that sells you a dream of overnight change. Protect your brand and your work. "
"I just want people, wherever they are with their bodies, to know that they are worthy of love and respect," she said. "There's no magical weight or size where life magically starts, so start doing what you love now."
So far, Tonjes said she has not been contacted directly by (let alone received an apology from) the clinic.
Upworthy reached out to the business that used Tonjes' photo for comment but had not heard back by the time of publishing. The article will be updated should the business respond.
There's a reason why some people can perfectly copy accents, and others can't
Turns out, there's a neurodivergent link.
A woman in black long sleeve shirt stands in front of mirror.
Have you ever had that friend who goes on vacation for four days to London and comes back with a full-on Queen's English posh accent? "Oooh I left my brolly in the loo," they say, and you respond, "But you're from Colorado!" Well, there are reasons they (and many of us) do that, and usually it's on a pretty subconscious level.
It's called "accent mirroring," and it's actually quite common with people who are neurodivergent, particularly those with ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder). According Neurolaunch, the self-described "Free Mental Health Library," "Accent mirroring, also known as accent adaptation or phonetic convergence, is the tendency to unconsciously adopt the accent or speech patterns of those around us. This linguistic chameleon effect is not unique to individuals with ADHD, but it appears to be more pronounced and frequent in this population."
Essentially, when people have conversations, we're constantly "scanning" for information—not just the words we're absorbing, but the inflection and tone. "When we hear an accent, our brains automatically analyze and categorize the phonetic features, prosody, and intonation patterns," writes Neurolaunch. For most, this does result in copying the accent of the person with whom we're speaking. But those with ADHD might be more sensitive to auditory cues. This, "coupled with a reduced ability to filter out or inhibit the impulse to mimic…could potentially explain the increased tendency for accent mirroring."
While the article explains further research is needed, they distinctly state that, "Accent mirroring in individuals with ADHD often manifests as an unconscious mimicry of accents in social situations. This can range from subtle shifts in pronunciation to more noticeable changes in intonation and speech rhythm. For example, a person with ADHD might find themselves unconsciously adopting a Southern drawl when conversing with someone from Texas, even if they’ve never lived in the South themselves."
People are having their say online. On the subreddit r/ADHDWomen, a thread began: "Taking on accents is an ADHD thing?" The OP shares, "My whole life, I've picked up accents. I, myself, never noticed, but everyone around me would be like, 'Why are you talking like that??' It could be after I watched a show or movie with an accent or after I've traveled somewhere with a different accent than my 'normal.'
They continue, "Apparently, I pick it up fast, but it fades out slowly. Today... I'm scrolling Instagram, I watch a reel from a comedian couple (Darcy and Jeremy. IYKYK) about how Darcy (ADHD) picks up accents everywhere they go. It's called ADHD Mirroring??? And it's another way of masking."
(The OP is referring to Darcy Michaels and his husband Jeremy Baer, who are both touring comedians based in Canada.)
Hundreds of people on the Reddit thread alone seem to relate. One comments, "Omfg I've done this my whole life; I'll even pick up on the pauses/spaces when I'm talking to someone who is ESL—but English is my first language lol."
Sometimes, it can be a real issue for those around the chameleon. "I accidentally mimicked a waitress's weird laugh one time. As soon as she was out of earshot, my family started to reprimand me, but I was already like 'oh my god I don’t know why I did that, I feel so bad.'"
Many commenters on TikTok were shocked to find out this can be a sign of ADHD. One jokes, "Omg, yes, at a store the cashier was talking to me and she was French. She's like 'Oh are you French too? No, I'm not lol. I'm very east coast Canada."
And some people just embrace it and make it work for them. "I mirror their words or phrase! I’m 30. I realized I start calling everyone sweetie cause my manager does & I work at coffee shop."