+
upworthy

A black trans woman explains changing gender vs. changing race.

If you can be transgender, is possible to be "transracial"? Artist and vlogger Kat Blaque explains why changing your gender and changing your race just aren't the same thing.

<span class="redactor-invisible-space"></span><span class="redactor-invisible-space"></span><span class="redactor-invisible-space"></span><span class="redactor-invisible-space"></span>

When the story of Rachel Dolezal (the white NAACP chapter president who has been masquerading as a black woman) went viral, the Internet exploded with countless memes and even more think pieces.

But one not-so-funny trend was comparing Rachel's story to transgender reality TV star and former Olympian Caitlyn Jenner's.


The back story: Rachel Dolezal, a white woman, has allegedly spent the past eight years pretending to be black.

The leader of the Spokane, Washington, NAACP chapter entered the spotlight after she allegedly received hateful messages via her organization's P.O. Box. Things got weird when a police investigation revealed that the messages she received had not been processed by the post office. To make things even weirder, this was just one of a string of hate crimes Dolezal had reported in the past, all under mysterious circumstances.

Shortly after news coverage began, Dolezal's parents came forward with the revelation that their Caucasian-born daughter had been presenting herself as black since 2007. After the slew of memes and viral hashtags subsided, the loudest question was: "How is changing your race any different from changing your gender?" More specifically, people questioned the media's critiques of Dolezal, especially after several weeks of praising recently out trans celebrity Caitlyn Jenner.

Before we jump into this race and gender conversation, here are a few definitions:

trans/transgender — "Transgender is a term used to describe people whose gender identity differs from the sex the doctor marked on their birth certificate. Gender identity is a person's internal, personal sense of being a man or a woman (or someone outside of that gender binary). For transgender people, the sex they were assigned at birth and their own internal gender identity do not match." — glaad.org

cis/cisgender — "Term for someone who has a gender identity that aligns with what they were assigned at birth. The term was created for referring to 'non-transgender' people without alienating transgender people. For example, if the doctor announces a baby as being a girl, and she is fine with being a girl, then she is cisgender." — Gender Wiki

transracial — Since Rachel Dolezal's story went viral, "transracial" has been incorrectly used to describe people who identify with a race different from their own. In reality, transracial refers to children who are a different race than their adopted parents.

Ultimately, Rachel Dolezal's story is one of deception. For trans folks, coming out as trans is about truth.

As soon as the Caitlyn and Rachel comparisons began, I reached out to my friend Kat Blaque and begged her to make a video about the situation. Not only is Kat a popular YouTube vlogger, but she's also black, transgender, and a transracial adoptee, giving her a unique perspective that was lacking in the Caitlyn/Rachel conversation.


One major difference here is that trans folks face immense challenges when they come out. Simple tasks like getting identification and even using the restroom can be major obstacles because of a lack of understanding and education, along with a whole heap of bigotry. Transgender folks often face rejection from their friends and family upon coming out, leading to increased rates of suicide and depression within the community. And trans women, especially trans women of color, face greater risks when it comes to being victims of violence. According to GLAAD, in 2011, trans women were victims of 45% of all hate murders.

By comparison, Rachel Dolezal's misrepresentation led to her professional gain. Not only was she appointed the head of her local NAACP, she also taught classes, sold artwork, and was a paid speaker under the guise of being a black woman. She positioned herself as an authority on racism, oppression, and the black experience despite not having lived or experienced it herself. Dolezal's new identity also relied on fake parents, fake children, and, of course, darkening her skin and changing her hair to appear racially ambiguous.

Rachel Dolezal's behavior has not only hurt and confused many, it has put her voice above members of the community she so desperately sought to support. Given all that, it's easy to see why comparing Dolezal's behavior to the trans people who face so much adversity to be who they are isn't just hurtful, it's not even on the same playing field.

Family

Dad takes 7-week paternity leave after his second child is born and is stunned by the results

"These past seven weeks really opened up my eyes on how the household has actually ran, and 110% of that is because of my wife."

@ustheremingtons/TikTok

There's a lot to be gleaned from this.

Participating in paternity leave offers fathers so much more than an opportunity to bond with their new kids. It also allows them to help around the house and take on domestic responsibilities that many new mothers have to face alone…while also tending to a newborn.

All in all, it enables couples to handle the daunting new chapter as a team, making it less stressful on both parties. Or at least equally stressful on both parties. Democracy!

TikTok creator and dad Caleb Remington, from the popular account @ustheremingtons, confesses that for baby number one, he wasn’t able to take a “single day of paternity leave.”

This time around, for baby number two, Remington had the privilege of taking seven weeks off (to be clear—his employer offered four weeks, and he used an additional three weeks of PTO).

The time off changed Remington’s entire outlook on parenting, and his insights are something all parents could probably use.

Keep ReadingShow less
Photo by Bambi Corro on Unsplash

Can flying to college twice a week really be cheaper than renting?

Some students choose to live at home while they go to college to save money on living expenses, but that's generally only an option for families who live in college towns or cities with large universities where a student can easily commute.

For University of British Columbia student Tim Chen, that "easy commute" is more than 400 miles each way.

Twice a week, Chen hops on a flight from his home city of Calgary, flies a little more than an hour to Vancouver to attend his classes, then flies back home the same night. And though it's hard to believe, this routine actually saves him approximately $1,000 a month.

Keep ReadingShow less

Tony Trapani discovers a letter his wife hid from him since 1959.

Tony Trapani and his wife were married for 50 years despite the heartache of being unable to have children. "She wanted children,” Trapani told Fox 17. "She couldn't have any. She tried and tried." Even though they endured the pain of infertility, Tony's love for his wife never wavered and he cherished every moment they spent together.

After his wife passed away when Tony was 81 years old, he undertook the heartbreaking task of sorting out all of her belongings. That’s when he stumbled upon a carefully concealed letter in a filing cabinet hidden for over half a century.

The letter was addressed to Tony and dated March 1959, but this was the first time he had seen it. His wife must have opened it, read it and hid it from him. The letter came from Shirley Childress, a woman Tony had once been close with before his marriage. She reached out, reminiscing about their past and revealing a secret that would change Tony's world forever.

Keep ReadingShow less
Internet

Man goes out of his way to leave tip for a server after realizing he grabbed the wrong receipt

Instead of just brushing it off and moving on, the man wrote out a note explaining what happened with a sincere apology along with a $20 cash tip and delivered it to the restaurant.

Man goes out of his way to leave forgotten tip for server

Being in the service industry can be hard. People have to spend long hours on their feet, deal with repetitive movements that can create pain and sometimes interact with not so nice customers. When you rely on tips for survival on top of everything else, it can feel like a bit of a gut punch when someone decides not to leave you one despite how good your service was.

One customer must've realized the disappointment that can occur after not receiving a tip when serving tables because he went out of his way to give one. In a post shared on Reddit, a customer revealed in a letter that he realized he took the wrong receipt after leaving. Instead of taking the blank one, he took the merchant's copy which holds the tip amount and his signature.

The error was discovered when he was checking his bank account and saw the amount taken off of his card was not the amount he expected. That's when he decided to check the receipt from that day and saw the error.

Keep ReadingShow less
Science

Scientists have finally figured out how whales are able to 'sing' underwater

The physical mechanism they use has been a mystery until now.

Baleen whales include blue, humpback, gray, fin, sei, minke whales and more.

We've long known that baleen whales sing underwater and that males sing in tropical waters to attract females for mating. What we haven't known is how they're able to do it.

When humans make sound underwater, we expel air over through our vocal chords and the air we release rises to the surface as bubbles. But baleen whales don't have vocal chords, and they don't create bubbles when they vocalize. Toothed whales, such as sperm whales, beaked whales, dolphins and porpoises, have an organ in their nasal passages that allows them to vocalize, but baleen whales such as humpback, gray and blue whales don't.

Whales are notoriously difficult to study because of their size and the environment they require, which is why the mechanism behind whale song has remained a mystery for so long. It's not like scientists can just pluck a whale out of the ocean and stick it in an x-ray machine while it's singing to see what's happening inside its body to create the sound. Scientists had theories, but no one really knew how baleen whales sing.

Now, thanks to researchers at the University of Denmark, that mystery has been solved.

Keep ReadingShow less

You can learn a lot by alayzing faces.

There are countless situations in life where we have to figure out how someone really feels, but they have a good poker face that keeps their feelings well-hidden. According to body language expert Terry Vaughan even the most deceptive people in the world have a tell: the left and right sides of their face don’t usually match.

So, which side do we believe? Vaughan says the left.

“The reason this is a powerful hack is because the left side of the face is more likely to reveal the ‘true emotion’ or the ‘dominant’ emotion if there’s a mix,” Vaughan says. The reason? “The right hemisphere of our brain does more heavy lifting in dealing with processing emotions. The left hemisphere…is a little more analytical or ‘strategic.’”

Keep ReadingShow less