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4 pressing concerns facing older LGBT adults that no one is talking about.

Getting older isn't easy, but it can be especially complicated if you identify as gay, lesbian, bisexual, or transgender.

"We never thought that marriage was gonna be possible," Christian Halvorsen, 62, told The Chicago Reader. "We didn't think adoption was gonna be possible. Two guys sitting in a restaurant could never hold hands. That has all changed."

While the possibilities and opportunities have increased dramatically since Halvorsen's youth, heteronormativity is still the name of the game when it comes to senior options for housing, medical care, and resources. But with more out LGBT adults reaching retirement age, there's a monumental shift in the making.

The only question is, will it arrive soon enough for the 3 million LGBT people over 55 in the United States?

Photo by iStock.

Here are four of the biggest concerns facing LGBT seniors, and what's being done to prepare this large and diverse community for their third act.

1. Finding support when you're flying solo.

Feelings of loneliness and isolation can affect a person's mental and physical health and can even lead to an increased risk of death.

Up to 75% of LGBT individuals over the age of 65 live alone, and 90% of LGBT seniors don't have children. Meanwhile, only 33% of heterosexual seniors live alone, and 70% have children.

Considering many people rely on their spouse or children for personal, emotional, and financial support as they grow older, many gay and lesbian adults are at a serious disadvantage.

But wait, there's hope: Support groups, clubs, and meet-ups take place across the country to connect LGBT seniors. Center on Halstead, a popular LGBT resource in Chicago, provides writing workshops, ballroom dance classes, computer classes, guided meditation, and grief and loss support groups. The Resource Center in Dallas hosts Gray Pride, a series of activities and events to boost connection and combat feelings of isolation. And the Los Angeles LGBT Center even holds and annual "Senior Prom" every summer.

Two men converse at the Long Beach Pride Parade. Photo by iStock.

2. Paying the bills and dreaming of the privilege of retirement.

Employment discrimination, lower insured rates, and, for decades, a lack of access to marriage all kept many older LGBT at or below the poverty line. Even programs like Social Security that were supposed to be financial safety nets may not apply if couples in long-term relationships can't access survivor benefits, since many could not or did not get married.

But wait, there's hope: The national organization Services and Advocacy for Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Elders (SAGE) developed an innovative employment support program called SAGEWorks for individuals over 40. The program encourages economic and personal fulfillment through job training, tech classes, and personal coaching.

And organizations like the Transgender Economic Empowerment Initiative offer free services like career fairs and mentoring to help trans people of all ages secure and keep jobs at safe places of employment.

Many seniors, like this grocery clerk, are forced to work well past retirement age simply to pay expenses. But finding and keeping a job with a welcoming, safe employer can be challenging for LGBT people. Photo by Ronaldo Schemidt/AFP/Getty Images.

3. A safe, affordable, welcoming place to lay your head.

There are no federal laws to protect LGBT people from housing discrimination. While the Fair Housing Act (Title VIII of the Civil Rights Act) prohibits discrimination in the rental, sale, or financing of a home or apartment, the law's protections don't cover gender identity or sexual orientation.

At the state level, 21 states and the District of Columbia prohibit housing discrimination based on sexual orientation, leaving residents of the remaining 29 states high and dry.

Regarding housing for seniors specifically, many older LGBT adults have a difficult time finding affordable, affirming housing options and often face discrimination and intimidation from staff and other residents in traditional settings.

But wait, there's hope: Affordable housing facilities for LGBT seniors opened in Chicago, Minneapolis, and Philadelphia in 2014. And the new campus of the Los Angeles LGBT Center features stunning yet affordable accommodations for LGBT seniors and homeless youth.

"I can rest easy instead of worrying about how I'm going to come up with the next rent, how I'm going to buy food for myself," Town Hall Apartments resident Pat Cummings told the Chicago Reader.


4. Accessing comprehensive medical treatment without judgment.

This fear of discrimination and judgment prevents many adults from seeking the care, support, and advice they need.

But wait, there's hope: The Affordable Care Act prohibits discrimination based on gender, race, national origin, age, or ability in hospitals and other health care facilities receiving federal funds. The Department of Health and Human Services has interpreted the law to include people who are transgender or who don't fall along the gender binary under these protections. And recent changes to Medicare and Medicaid rules allow hospital patients to select their own medical decision-makers and guests, whether they're family or not.

While these changes seem small, they may alleviate a lot of the anxiety and fear that come with doctor visits for LGBT individuals.


A man gets a medical check at a health center that also provides refreshments, card games, and classes. Some LGBT centers also operate on this model. Photo by Joe Raedle/Getty Images.

As our peers, parents, and grandparents get older, it's important that we keep asking questions and working toward progress.

All seniors deserve to feel safe and cared for, and older LGBT adults are no exception. We must help them transition to this new stage of life with dignity and respect. It's not the end — it's the start of a brand-new era they've worked hard to reach.

As Eva Skye, 62, told The Chicago Reader: "My family is the rainbow community. My life is now."

There may be challenges, disparities, and problems to overcome, but there is always hope.

Photo by iStock.

Joy

American orders Olive Garden-style chicken parm in Italy and the waiter's response is perfect

He looks so confused.

via Drburtoni/Flickr and Boxer_Bob/Flickr

A waiter talking with his hands.

One of the great things about America is that we have a relatively young culture, so many of the foods that we eat were brought over from other countries. That makes America a great place to try out all the different types of food from around the world.

However, we also like to put our own stamp on staples from around the globe that give the American version its own unique flair. Some foods that we claim originated overseas were actually first made right here in the U.S. of A. For example, chimichangas, which can be found in many Mexican restaurants, actually originated in the state of Arizona. Crab Rangoon, a popular “Chinese” dish, was actually invented in San Francisco, and spaghetti and meatballs were never a thing in Italy.

TikTok creator Gabby Donahue posted a video that’s the perfect example of how some ethnic foods get remixed once they become popular in the States. In a video with over 7 million views, her father shows a waiter in Italy a photo of chicken parmesan from Olive Garden so he can order it at the restaurant. The waiter's reaction is an excellent example of someone trying to be polite while he cannot believe what he is seeing.

“My Boston Irish father trying to order a Google image of the Olive Garden chicken parm in Italy,” Donahue wrote in the text overlay.

@gabbydonahuee

@Olive Garden ‘s biggest fan 😭😭😭😭 #italy #cultureshock #chickenparm #olivegarden


When the father showed the picture to the waiter, he seemed a bit confused about the image. “Only in the States,” he said. “It doesn’t exist in Italy.” The father couldn’t believe what he was hearing: “It doesn’t exist in Italy?”

“I don’t know what it is…on the pasta?” the waiter said, trying to make sense of the chicken breast smothered in cheese and sauce. The waiter gave his final verdict while holding his chin: “No. That’s horrible.”

“Horrible? Wow. Look at that. That doesn’t,” the father laughed. “That looks good… but,” the waiter shrugged off the father. “It does look good,” the father continued. “It tastes good. I’ll tell you what, I’m gonna mail you some. I’ll send it to you.”

“Okay? Olive Garden chicken, I’m gonna search,” the waiter said, walking away from the table.


The commenters had a field day analyzing the waiter’s body language. “‘No, that looks good’ while looking completely disgusted was the most Italian reaction ever,” one commenter wrote. “Bro remembered halfway through his disgust that he’s at work,” another added.

It’s not crazy that an American would think that chicken parmesan is an Italian dish; after all, it’s served in most Italian-American restaurants. However, according to Paesana, it was created in America by the Italian diaspora.

“In the Old World, that’s Italy prior to the Italian diaspora—the large-scale emigration of Italians from Italy to America—proteins like chicken were not widely available," according to an article on the site. "As such, the prototypical chicken parmigiana was actually made with breaded, fried slices of eggplant in place of chicken for a dish called melanzane alla Parmigiana."


Even though chicken parmesan didn’t originate in the old country, Pasquale Sciarappa, a popular Italian-born food influencer living in America, has no problem cooking the dish.

"'That’s not Italian!’ I hear this every time I share a dish like Chicken Parmigiana. And you know what? They’re right — it’s not something you’d traditionally find in Italy. But you know what else is true? It’s Italian-American. It was born in immigrant kitchens — from people who left Italy, landed in the U.S., and made do with what they had. They took inspiration from dishes like melanzane alla parmigiana and recreated comfort from memory using what was available,” he wrote.

It’s understandable that an American could go to Italy without knowing that something he’d had in Italian restaurants wasn’t actually from Italy. It’s understandable for an Italian server to balk at a photo of a dish served in an American restaurant that you’d find in a shopping mall.

But we should all agree that one of the wonderful things about American culture is that it's an amalgamation of different cultures stirred around in the same pot, and if that means we get a fresh variation on the burrito, a new way to eat Chinese crab, or a tasty piece of chicken where eggplant used to be, the more the better.

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Technology

People say they've broken their phone addiction with one simple change to their settings

You can still use your phone, but you probably won't want to.

Photo credit: Canva

Want to spend less time on your phone? Try this hack.

Much ado has been made about young people spending inordinate amounts of time on their phones, but in reality, people of all ages and generations struggle with smartphone addiction. We use our phones for everything these days, but the utilitarian use of them can quickly be overshadowed by the dopamine hits we get from social media, games, and other apps that are designed to suck us in over and over.

People can try to limit their screen time, but it's hard when our phones are something we legitimately need to use. It's a slippery slope from checking an email to answering a Facebook message to clicking on a video, and then we're off to the races. We can remove apps or use app blockers, but there's an even simpler solution that many people swear by: grayscale.

phones, smartphones, phone display, grayscale, screen time This 1-minute phone hack changed my life.Grayscale Mode:We all need to fight back against the phone addiction that is destroying our attention and focus.Grayscale Mode removes the colors to… | Sahil Bloom | 795 comments www.linkedin.com

A simple switch in your phone's accessibility settings changes the phone from full color to grayscale, and for many people, that's all they needed to break the spell their phone had over them. When you open your phone and are met with a black-and-white screen full of apps, it does two things: 1) It reminds you that you're trying to use your phone less, and 2) It makes using your phone a whole lot less interesting.

The boring look is what makes it so effective; the idea is that our brains don't react to a grayscale screen the way they do to a brightly colored one. A 2023 study found that switching your phone to grayscale was "an effective strategy to reduce screen time and improve digital well-being," and people on Reddit have shared how much switching their phone display to grayscale has helped them:

"Recently, I switched my phone screen to grayscale and reduced the refresh rate to 60 Hz. The real surprise came when I looked up from the screen after a few minutes. Everything around me appeared way more vibrant, like in a radioactive way. It was like reality itself was so oversaturated that it felt surreal, almost cartoonish. For the first time in years, I can honestly say the world around me seems far more vivid and interesting than my phone screen." – EngarReddit

smartphone, screen time, screen addiction, phones, apps Man holding smartphone.via Canva Photos

"Each time I apply grayscale on my phone, I feel less tempted to use it because it's so boring compared to the colors of our world. Our mind is highly influenced by colors (that's why you're more willing to eat a dish that looks vibrant and colorful compared to a shitty mess, even though they have the same taste)." – [deleted]

"Yes! I’ve only had it on for a few hours and everything “looks like 90s” everything is colorful again and normal and feels real like a haze has lifted." – Hot_Necessary_3305

"Yeah, grayscale my phone is the only thing that helped me curb my phone addiction. Now if only I know how to make a shortcut to it. Going all the way to accessibility to change it is a hassle. Sometimes I need to change my phone back for color required task and my eyes will get used to black and white eventually so I have to keep switching it on and off." – American_GrizzlyBear

"My phone automatically switches to grey scale every night at 10pm, helps to discourage scrolling at night." – m333ejm

"Turned it on and instantly found myself less interested in scrolling. I completely get what you mean by the world being more vivid, looking up after staring at a greyscale screen makes the colours jump out at you in the real world. I’ve setup an automation to have greyscale turn off when I open photos & the camera but for now, this is definitely what i’m using going forward." – QuitSplash

smartphone, phone addiction, scrolling, phone settings, social media So many of us mindlessly scroll. Grayscale can help. Giphy

How to turn on grayscale in your phone settings

The grayscale option is usually under Accessibility settings. Still, how you get there will vary by phone make and model, and any instructions I share here may end up outdated, so a quick Google search for "How to turn on grayscale settings on iPhone/Android" is your best bet for figuring it out.

I found that setting a grayscale display on the iPhone wasn't terribly intuitive, and once I put it in, I realized how annoying it would be to switch back to color if I wanted or needed to. (Sometimes I want to see a photo in color, or I'm looking at a color-coded chart that doesn't work in grayscale.) After a little tutorial from a Gen Zer, I was able to set a toggle shortcut so that if I press the power button quickly three times, the color options pop up so I can switch back and forth quickly.

Most of us can use some hacks to help us break our phone and screen overuse, and the simpler, the better. Try the grayscale trick and see how quickly your brain loses interest. For many, it's nothing short of life-changing.

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Happiness researcher explains how making a 'reverse bucket list' can change your life

Counterintuitive in our culture, but effective.

Gage Skidmore/Wikimedia Commons

Harvard researcher Arthur C. Brooks studies what leads to human happiness.

We live in a society that prizes ambition, celebrating goal-setting, and hustle culture as praiseworthy vehicles on the road to success. We also live in a society that associates successfully getting whatever our hearts desire with happiness. The formula we internalize from an early age is that desire + ambition + goal-setting + doing what it takes = a successful, happy life.

But as Harvard University happiness researcher Arthur C. Brooks has found, in his studies as well as his own experience, that happiness doesn't follow that formula. "It took me too long to figure this one out," Brooks told podcast host Tim Ferris, explaining why he uses a "reverse bucket list" to live a happier life.

bucket list, wants, desires, goals, detachment Many people make bucket lists of things they want in life. Giphy

Brooks shared that on his birthday, he would always make a list of his desires, ambitions, and things he wanted to accomplish—a bucket list. But when he was 50, he found his bucket list from when he was 40 and had an epiphany: "I looked at that list from when I was 40, and I'd checked everything off that list. And I was less happy at 50 than I was at 40."

As a social scientist, he recognized that he was doing something wrong and analyzed it.

"This is a neurophysiological problem and a psychological problem all rolled into one handy package," he said. "I was making the mistake of thinking that my satisfaction would come from having more. And the truth of the matter is that lasting and stable satisfaction, which doesn't wear off in a minute, comes when you understand that your satisfaction is your haves divided by your wants…You can increase your satisfaction temporarily and inefficiently by having more, or permanently and securely by wanting less."

Brooks concluded that he needed a "reverse bucket list" that would help him "consciously detach" from his worldly wants and desires by simply writing them down and crossing them off.

"I know that these things are going to occur to me as natural goals," Brooks said, citing human evolutionary psychology. "But I do not want to be owned by them. I want to manage them." He discussed moving those desires from the instinctual limbic system to the conscious pre-frontal cortex by examining each one and saying, "Maybe I get it, maybe I don't," but crossing them off as attachments. "And I'm free…it works," he said.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"When I write them down, I acknowledge that I have the desire," he explained on X. "When I cross them out, I acknowledge that I will not be attached to this goal."

The idea that attachment itself causes unhappiness is a concept found in many spiritual traditions, but it is most closely associated with Buddhism. Mike Brooks, PhD, explains that humans need healthy attachments, such as an attachment to staying alive and attachments to loved ones, to avoid suffering. But many things to which we are attached are not necessarily healthy, either by degree (over-attachment) or by nature (being attached to things that are impermanent).

"We should strive for flexibility in our attachments because the objects of our attachment are inherently in flux," Brooks writes in Psychology Today. "In this way, we suffer unnecessarily when we don't accept their impermanent nature."

What Arthur C. Brooks suggests that we strive to detach ourselves from our wants and desires because the simplest way to solve the 'haves/wants = happiness' formula is to reduce the denominator. The reverse bucket list, in which you cross off desires before you fulfill them, can help free you from attachment and lead to a happier overall existence.

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People share their favorite 'non-tech' hobbies that keep them sane in a digital world

Some inspo for those craving a bit of simplicity and a break from the screens.

Photo credit: Canva

Working with your hands is medicine for the soul.

Digital fatigue is brutal. It robs us of our focus, productivity, and most importantly, our joy. Thankfully, there is a way to escape the never-ending flurry of notifications, emails, and pings and reclaim our inner peace in a way that’s not only effective but fun as well.

Cue: analog hobbies.

The health benefits of analog hobbies are well-documented. Whether they be artistic pursuits like painting or drawing, which help ease racing thoughts and anxiety, or physical activities like gardening or dancing, which get us more active, or some combination of both, like cooking or woodworking, which enlists both the practical and creative sides of our brains.

During the height of the COVID-19 pandemic, many of us found out firsthand just how soothing tech-free hobbies could be. According to one survey, nearly two-thirds of Americans picked up a new hobby during this time. And even though we are more or less back to the regular hustle and bustle of pre-COVID times, the need to unplug is just as important now as ever.

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Do any of us still make sourdough? media2.giphy.com

If you’re looking for inspiration for your next low-to-no tech hobby, keep reading.

Recently, a Reddit user shared that they had been “craving a bit of simplicity and a break from screens,” and in the process rediscovered former analog passions like sketching and playing vinyl records.

“Personally, I’ve found that stepping away from tech even for just an hour or two really helps with mental clarity and stress relief," they wrote. "Also, there’s something so satisfying about making something with your hands, right?"

“It made me wonder: what non-tech hobbies have you all picked up or returned to recently?" they added. "Whether it’s knitting, gardening, brewing your own coffee, or something else that doesn’t require a charger or Wifi.”

Boy, did people respond in kind. Be it with classics like cross-stitching, or some out-of-the-box ideas like sending postcards to German princes (more on that later). Many even shared samples of their WIPS (works in progress), which was doubly inspiring.

Take a look at some of our favorites:

“Fused glass is my current hobby. I just enjoy doing it and don't look at my phone for hours when I'm cutting glass. Unfortunately, I do have a lot of cuts on my hands.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A fused glass bowl. Reddit

“Solo board games. There are tons of different mechanics, difficulties and themes…My favorites are Tiny Epic Dungeons, Nemo’s War, Zombicide Black Plague, Threetale, Grove, Valor and Villainy, Ludwig’s Labyrinth.”

“Aquascaping is such a good break from tech. I have all the time I spend fiddling with rocks and plants, and once that’s done and I stock the tank with fish and shrimp and whatever else, I have a living piece of art that is 100% custom and always changing.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies An example of aquascaping. Reddit

“Volunteering at the animal shelter.”

“Journaling! My thoughts feel so much clearer after writing everything down. :-)”

“I've fallen in love with whittling.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Whittled Halloween figures. Reddit

“Gardening has probably become the one that’s changed my life the most, it gets me more active, I spend and enjoy hours outside now. It’s taken a big bite out of my grocery bill, it also forces me to cook more. I extend the season by growing cool season crops, keeping a small hydro grow indoors and starting seeds in March. I also vermicompost indoors which is oddly fun and comforting — digging in dirt in the middle of winter and anticipating spring. I find having year round gardening activities helps with SAD and it’s done a ton for my overall mental health and sense of wellbeing.”

“Water coloring bookmarks.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A water color painted bookmark. Reddit

“I’ve been doing film photography since 1973 and am still at it in my home darkroom.”

“Repairing old electric toy trains. I find myself looking forward to unplugging and taking these things apart to fix or replace a part or two and bring them back to life. The smell of oil, soldering a wire or two, working through a fairly simple mechanical problem - these are the only things keeping me sane these days!”

“Counted cross-stitch work in progress”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A cross-stitched pattern of a goddess-like woman. Reddit

“I have gotten back into writing letters to pen pals but most of them are what I call fictional pen pals. That's where I create a character and that character writes a pen pal letter to another created character. It's a lot of fun and makes me slow down to actually write a letter and I can live a more exciting life through my character.”

“Latte-art for me :)”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Latte art.Reddit

“I write letters to royals and nobles world wide and collect their responses. It makes going to the mailbox a lot of fun! I always send birthday, anniversary, and coronation day greetings. Other times it might be commenting on an event they attended or appearance they made. Other times letters of condolence if they've experienced a recent death of a loved one. You'd be surprised how many respond personally, particularly minor royals or nobles (the German princes have been particularly gracious with their time to write back).”

“Been a woodworker since I was a wee lad. It’s just super relaxing and mentally rewarding to dive into a project… Here's one of my latest…Most of the work was done with muscle powered hand tools…”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A handmade wood cabinet.Reddit

“Making collages from old magazines. It’s somewhat mindless and cheap to get started. People give away free old magazines on Facebook marketplace or you can buy cheap ones on eBay.”

“Making my own stencils from cardboard and using them on my gelli plate. I’m into surface design at the moment.”

“Watercolor painting”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A watercolor butterfly.Reddit

“I’m getting back into art welding. Last week, I found myself in a flow state and forgot to eat. I’m also stunned at how encouraging different old dudes have been to me at supply shops. It was not like that 13 years ago when I learned.”

“Knitting socks.”

“Dollhouse miniature modeling.”

“Getting back into pottery. I get into my zen zone when my hands get dirty.”

“After dabbling before, I’m now taking up bookbinding! Despite the latest trend in doing up fancy versions of paperbacks, you can actually start with stuff you have at home and would otherwise throw away. The first book we’re making in my coptic class uses cardboard packaging and regular printer paper.”

“Camping and backpacking are the most fulfilling for me. I enjoy hiking, birding, tying knots, chilling in a hammock, reading, and photography. I get to do all those things in one hobby.”

“Mandolin and tenor guitar.”

“I paint portraits in oils - mostly of family, or pets. Here is my latest piece. It’s a very rewarding hobby and I’ve met some amazing people along the way.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies An oil portrait of a baby. Reddit

“My all-time favourite analog hobbies are dirt biking, snowmobiling, skiing at 2-3 years old, and they certainly do not need WiFi. Why are they such a great escape from the digital world? Cause you literally leave your home, go where theres no cell service, and you only focus on the machine/skis and never the phone while doing them. Perfect, best escape from the digital world.”

“I go on walks looking for 4 leaf clovers and lay them out in a photo album and think of it kind of like art meets meditation meets scavenger hunting.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies Pressed four leaf clovers. Reddit

“Penmanship. Specifically: writing cursive with a fountain pen. I've started collecting some pens, improved my handwriting, started journaling a little, and even ground some of my own nibs.”

“Public lectures, author meet-and-greets, book clubs, meetups in general- local colleges often have special interest groups open to the public, public libraries usually have some event going on, farmer's markets and local festivals frequently have interesting people who love to talk about what they do.”

“I love air dry clay, particularly the brand Das.”

hobbies, analog hobbies, making art, exercise, digital detox, ask reddit, creativity, art, dance, hobbies A clay pumpkin.Reddit

“Rockhounding, because it literally gets me out of the house and going places.”

For those wondering, rockhounding is searching for and collecting rocks, minerals, fossils, gems, etc. Some folks get specific on what types of colors or shapes they aim to find. And while rockhounding itself involves no tech, you might need to hop online to make sure you're allowed to take items from the spot you're in.

“I love fishing! It's so peaceful!”

“I danced as a kid and recently got back into it through a dance fitness class. Now I'm choreographing my own dances. It's fun, active, and creative.”

Let this be your sign to carve out some time for joy today, in whatever way feels best. Your mind, body, and spirit will thank you for it.

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Massachusetts woman writes her own obituary, leaving her grieving family laughing at her wit

"Well, if you're reading this obituary, I'm dead. WOW, it actually happened..."

Linda Murphy Obituary/McCarthy Funeral Home and Photo credit: Canva

Massachusetts woman's obituary leaves her family laughing

It can be depressing to think about your own mortality, but inevitably, everyone will eventually die. Those diagnosed with a terminal illness have the unfortunate task of thinking about the inevitability much sooner than their peers. Still, those like Linda Murphy aren't letting a diagnosis steal their humor.

Murphy seemed to be the life of the party, always ready to have a good time with friends and family. But over a decade ago, she was diagnosed with breast cancer; after beating that disease, she was diagnosed with Bulbar ALS, which runs in her family.

In her self-written obituary, she shares that her father, who passed away shortly before Murphy, lost his own mother to the same disease. Although devastating, the disease allowed her time to write her own obituary, which left her family and others giggling.

\u200bMassachusetts; Linda Murphy; ALS; obituary; death; dying; funny obituary Glowing tealights in peaceful ambiance.Photo credit: Canva

She starts by pointing out the obvious, "Well, if you are reading this obituary, it looks like I'm dead." That's when the humor kicks in as she jokes about dying from fear of missing out, "WOW, it actually happened ... I died of FOMO due to complications of Bulbar ALS."

Murphy points out that she was just 60 years old and way too young to die, but unfortunately, ALS had other plans. She was loved, as evidenced by her daughter's interview with the local news station. One section of her obituary is all about the yummy food she missed out on due to her no longer being able to swallow.

Linda Murphy; ALS; obituary; death; dying; funny obituary Friends enjoying a delicious meal together.Photo credit: Canva

"As far as eating, it totally stinks to sit at the table while people around you are eating juicy burgers hot off the grill, heaping piles of Chinese food, a healthy portion of pasta Alfredo, or Chipotle — and I just have to smile and act like I'm enjoying my bowl of puréed baby mush!" she wrote.

Even though she expressed how hard it was to live with her disease, Murphy still made sure to throw in some laughs.

While talking about her 42-year marriage to husband David, she teases about the couple becoming a throuple when she had to be put on a respirator. "We both agreed, I was an "A" wife and he was a "B+" husband for a total "A-" which is pretty decent for 42 years together!!!" she wrote. "We became a thruple about 1.5 years ago when, Hosee, (my respirator) moved into our marital bed. From then on, David woke up next to what looked like a fighter pilot with smooshed hair!"

Linda Murphy; ALS; obituary; death; dying; funny obituary Saying goodbye with lilies and love.Photo credit: Canva

Murphy highlights her superpowers before her final plea for kindness. The woman was joyous even after death. Maybe it was her way of easing things for her family members or for herself. Maybe it was simply because that's who she was as a person, and she used her obituary as the final moment to give others a glimpse into her personality. Either way, her reminders about kindness and living life fully are lessons that can extend far beyond her family and friends.

"I lived my life with two super powers," she wrote. "My first, of which everyone was jealous, was that I could drink as much as I wanted and never seemed to get a hangover ... the real wonder is why I didn't die of liver failure. My second super power is that I was always genuinely happy and absolutely loved to be with nice people. Please be kind to everyone: the telemarketer, the grocery clerk, the Dunkin's staff, the tailgater, your family, your friends. Speak nicely and positively. Is there really ever a reason to be negative? I don't think so…"

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