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17 small, but significant, lifestyle changes that help people with anxiety.

While it’s easy — and understandable — to roll your eyes when someone offers a “miracle cure” for your anxiety (Yes! I have tried yoga! Thanks for asking!!), it’s also important to acknowledge this truth: There are day-to-day changes you can make that might help you manage your anxiety. We’re not talking about a miracle…

By

Tod Perry

Array
Photo credit: Array – Array

While it’s easy — and understandable — to roll your eyes when someone offers a “miracle cure” for your anxiety (Yes! I have tried yoga! Thanks for asking!!), it’s also important to acknowledge this truth: There are day-to-day changes you can make that might help you manage your anxiety.

We’re not talking about a miracle cure. We’re not saying breathing on a mat will make your problems go away. It’s just important to remember while you’re rolling your eyes that you’re not helpless in this fight.

While something that worked for one person might not work for you, that doesn’t mean nothing works for you — or that daily, destructive anxiety is inevitable.

Of course, that being said, anxiety will still happen, and when it rears its ugly head, it’s not your fault. It doesn’t mean you didn’t “try hard enough.” But for some of us, a slight change or tweak in our routine can at least make the fall a little softer, and the anxiety a bit more manageable.

Making small changes also doesn’t replace seeing a therapist or taking medication, if that’s what you need. It’s just important to know there are options out there.

To find out some small changes people made that made a significant difference in their life with anxiety, our partners at The Mighty reached out to their mental health community.

Here’s what they shared:

1. Making Your Bed Every Morning

“I make my bed in the morning. That way I start my day feeling like I’ve already accomplished something. Also, no matter how bad the day is, I have something nice to come home to.” — Clarissa L.

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2. Keeping Your Phone on Silent

“I keep my phone on silent. I never realized how much anxiety came from sudden phone calls or texts I wasn’t expecting. It doesn’t help that 9/10 times it’s a text that causes me more anxiety/drama/stress.” — Kathryn W

3. Opening Up to Others About Your Anxiety

“Being really open and honest with everyone that I have severe anxiety. When it’s really bad, I’m more open about it rather than hiding. I also draw a little smiley face on my wrist every day and make myself think a happy thought each time I see it!” — Cherokee M.

“Nightly check ins with my boyfriend. It helps to discuss the day and talk about what’s bothering me and the positive and negative things that happened. Helps set me up for sleep. Thank goodness he’s understanding and so patient with me when my anxiety becomes overwhelming for me.” — Monica T.

“I’ve informed people of my anxiety and have told them I need to leave the area for a reason and to please don’t take it personally, and please give me my space.” — Bailey S.

4. Spending Less Time on Social Media/Limiting Screen Time

“Temporary Facebook breaks by uninstalling the app. I can still browse through the mobile site, but it’s more inconvenient and makes me less likely to spend hours on there.” — Randi D.

“I limit my social media. It seemed my anxiety would rise every time I went on, because I was comparing my life to everyone’s highlight reel and it was doing a number on my self-esteem.” — Jen S.

“I try my best not to reach for my phone first thing in the morning. It’s not easy when it’s the alarm going off, but I turn it off and then I reach for my dogs. I try to spend a few minutes cuddling with them before I do anything else, like check my emails or Facebook. Before reality gets a chance to get in, I give my girls a chance to get their love in. They are far more important and loving them sets a better tone for my day.” — Nicole R.

“Having complete days where I switch off. No phone, internet or leaving the house. Ultimate recharge, in my place of security and serenity, without distractions.” — Capri B.

5. Saying “No”

“Being honest and telling people no. Saying ‘maybe’ doesn’t help… I’m telling you no for a reason, respect that and don’t come back at me for it. I’m trying my best, but I have my limits on what I can do. If I can do it I will do it.” — Saige D.

[rebelmouse-image 19346558 dam=1 original_size=”983×426″ caption=”via Henry Burrows / Flickr ” expand=1]

6. Using Cognitive Behavioral Therapy Techniques (a.k.a. Jedi Mind Tricks)

“I basically do a Jedi mind trick on myself. (Being a nerd helps with my anxiety too lol.) Here’s how it works: I try to objectively reflect on and assess my day. For example, I’ll think about what happened that day and rate how good the day was. However, I have to be able to provide ‘evidence’ from the day to back up my rating. Since anxiety convinces me I had a crappy day, when I make my day concrete by reflecting on the specific goals I did meet and the specific things I did accomplish and the specific little surprises that were positive, I see it was actually a good day. My attitude towards the day improves. It’s cut down on how often I claim I had a crappy day. I can tell if it was just the anxiety or actually a crappy day. If it was just the anxiety, reflecting has helped me see anxiety was lying and my memory of the day becomes positive. I guess it’s a type of daily gratitude practice. I even have an app that I can use to track how I rated my days so I can see patterns and I can visually see that I actually have more good days than bad ones.” — Jessica R.

7. Starting a Mindfulness Practice

“Yoga and meditation! Mindfulness is really helpful, it helps you stay in the present moment. also focusing on my breathing, deep breaths. They help me stay grounded.” — Eirenne E.

“Gratitude and mindfulness have worked really well and after being repeatedly told in therapy this works, I hesitantly tried it out. And it does work. Anxiety is often so future-focused about what may or may not happen. Mindfulness and gratitude keep you in the moment and help you appreciate what you already have. For example, every morning on my way to work, I have a gratitude mindfulness exercise. I notice the sunrise and appreciate it beauty, different colors, textures, etc. In that moment, I am not worried about work that day or remembering something that didn’t go well the day before. It is just me and the sunrise.” — Alyssa P.

“I’ve taken up meditation. I decided to download a few guided meditation sessions and I now meditate twice a day. My first is a general session in the morning, and at night it’s a session about whatever bothered me throughout the day. It helps a lot.” — Brianna N.

[rebelmouse-image 19346559 dam=1 original_size=”572×287″ caption=”via Sebastien Wiertz / Flickr” expand=1]

8. Writing Down Your Schedule/To-Do List

“I have a daily planner, but I also use a chalkboard wall, sticky notes and an app on my phone to make reminders and notes of encouragement more visible. It’s one of the best things I’ve done to cope with both anxiety and ADHD.” — Kami L.

9. Working Out

“The gym. Mostly on the treadmill or the bikes. Simple but slow workouts. I do it early in the a.m. If I start having an episode, walking or running in place helps.” — Jordan S.

10. Practicing Acceptance

“Accepting this as part of who I am. It allows me to step back when needed, totally guilt-free. Also letting go of how it makes others feel, guilt-free. It doesn’t change the level of anxiety, it only takes away the guilt of having it.” — Kathi F.

11. Cutting Toxic People/Things Out of Your Life

“I dropped all the toxic people in my life. Block. Delete. So simple. I unfollowed all the news and political pages on Twitter and Facebook. Life is so much better being a little selfish and putting my needs first. You can’t pour from an empty cup. As bitchy and heartless as I may sound, I’m actually able to love and care for those who actually care about me better after getting rid of the draining relationships.” — Naoko P.

“Cutting out people who are negative and bring me down not just on social media but I’ve had to tell former friends I’m done. It was hard when there was still so much there, but the constant disappointment was not worth it.”– Allison M.

“I remove all toxic people from my life. And I try to avoid encounters with people like that as often as I can. The biggest change I’ve made is breaking up with the most toxic ex-boyfriend I’ve ever had and getting out of the most toxic relationship I have ever been in. Reminding myself to breathe every day is extremely important. Relax. And to remember that things take time.” — Jessa P.

12. Establishing a Bedtime Routine

“I’ve established a bedtime routine. May sound silly, but after brushing teeth, etc., I wash my hands with a lavender soap. And use a good smell on my hands. Then climb into bed and take a few deep breaths. While repeating my mantra, ‘You are physically, mentally, emotionally safe. The world is not out to get you. Nothing is as bad as it seems.’ It really helps me.” — Niki T.

“I get everything I need for the day ready the night before so I don’t have to think too early in the morning. I also make my bed before I leave in the morning which is great because coming home after a long day to a made bed is fantastic. My room stays neat and clean which helps keep my mind at ease.” — Alexis H.

“I write down all the things I need to do the next day before I go to bed. It helps me fall asleep because I’m less worried about forgetting a responsibility.” — Maisie B.

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13. Journaling

“I keep a journal now to track what was happening when I began to feel myself getting overwhelmed. Inside the cover is a list of grounding techniques. This helps me track my triggers and find ways to cope/avoid those situations.” — Megan K.

14. Finding Something to Do With Your Hands

“I take my crochet with me everywhere I go now. It helps me while I sit and talk to people. Even if I’m not talking to someone, it can help bring a great conversation starter and helps ease my tension, as I keep my hands busy.” — Tatauq M.

15. Cutting Out Caffeine

“I’ve cut the majority of caffeine from my life. I stick to herbal tea, and occasionally will have a green tea or decaf coffee. Since this change, I’ve had significantly fewer panic attacks.” — Ashley S.

“Cut out caffeine and drink more water. I was told by a therapist that it would help and it does. I noticed without the caffeine I don’t feel as anxious. Not only does it help with my anxiety, but I know I’m hydrated.” — Amanda W.

“I quit caffeine! Not having that extra jolt when I get anxious has really helped keep my panic levels lower. Yes, it was hard — but worth it!” — Polly B.

16. Giving Yourself Time in the Morning to Prepare for the Day

“Giving myself enough time in the morning to prepare for the day. It has made a huge difference in being able to have the right mindset before leaving the house.” — Stephanie Q.

“I wake up an hour earlier to get some alone and free time in my home before everyone else wakes up.” — Alicia H.

17. Practicing Gratitude

“Listing three things I’m thankful for every day (no repeats, if I’m thankful for the sun one day then I can’t say that ever again) and going on a walk.” — Crystal G.

“When I think something negative, I have to stop and think of something I am grateful for. Example — I got a flat tire and I would’ve normally been upset, but I remembered I had the foresight to get AAA two years ago because I was scared about something happening. I said thank you to my anxiety because now I was covered. Sounds weird but it works.” — Karri H.

This article was originally published by our partners at The Mighty and was written by Sarah Schuster.

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    Avoid passing down anxiety

    Alli Spotts-DeLazzer (LMFT, LPCC, CEDS-C) was excited to speak to Upworthy about the concept. “So happy ‘good enough parenting’ is in the spotlight here! I’ve been preaching this ‘good enough’ concept and the mutual growth that can come from it for years now—as a marriage and family therapist and lead author of My Child Has an Eating Disorder.

    In trying to do things perfectly, parents may unintentionally pass down more anxiety and lack of self-trust than they realize. The growth is in the ruptures, the repairs, and the role modeling of the messiness of life and how it gets handled—sometimes beautifully and other times in ways that feel poor. In a world where perfection narratives and images are pushed daily on social media, it takes courage to sit in the mess and make it meaningful. If you want to support resilience in kids, this seems like an empowering direction for parenting to move toward. Even more important, it can reduce polarization and allow more room for nuance, humanity, and growth.”

    Keep Reading →
  • Millennial parents are pleading with Boomer grandparents to stop giving excessive gifts to grandkids
    Photo credit: Image via Canva/PeopleImages – Boomer grandparents are excessively gifting their grandkids, and Millennial parents have had enough.
    ,

    Millennial parents are pleading with Boomer grandparents to stop giving excessive gifts to grandkids

    “I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge.”

    Emily Shiffer

    Upworthy Staff

    Millennial parents and Boomer grandparents don’t always see eye to eye on parenting and grandparenting. Now, Millennial parents are uniting on a nightmare Boomer grandparenting trend that sees them “excessively gifting” their grandkids with tons of both new and old *unwanted* stuff during visits.

    Ohio mom Rose Grady (@nps.in.a.pod) shared her “Boomer grandparent” experience in a funny and relatable video. “Just a millennial mom watching her boomer parents bring three full loads of ‘treasures’ into her home,” she wrote in the overlay.

    One mom’s viral video hit a nerve

    Grady can be seen looking out the window of her home at her Boomer mom and dad carrying bags and boxes up her driveway after several visits. The distressed and contemplative look on Grady’s face is speaking to plenty of Millennial moms.

    @nps.in.a.pod

    Today’s “treasure” highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery… #boomerparents #boomers #boomersbelike #millennialsoftiktok #millenialmom #motherdaughter

    ♬ Bad Reputation – Joan Jett

    Grady captioned the video, “Today’s ‘treasure’ highlight was the mobile that hung in my nursery…”

    The humorous video resonated with fellow Millennial parents. “Straight to the trash when they leave,” one viewer commented. Another added, “I always say ‘if you don’t want it in yours, we don’t want it in ours’ .”

    Even more Millennial parents have shared and discussed their situations with Boomer grandparents buying their kids too much stuff on Reddit. “Both my mother and my MIL love buying and sending toys, books, clothes, etc. I don’t want to be ungrateful but we just don’t need it and don’t have the space. I have brought this up politely in ‘we are all out of drawers for that’ but it hasn’t slowed things down,” one explained. “I think part of the issue is that the grandparents live in different cities and vacation a lot. They don’t get to see our daughter much so they buy stuff instead.”

    Another Millennial parent shared, “While the intention is very kind behind these, all the grandparents are very aware that we do not need, nor wish to receive these gifts in such an excessive volume – as it creates a daily struggle to store and accommodate in our home. I struggle to keep on top of tidying as it is, and this is a massive added challenge.”

    How to talk to Boomer grandparents about gifts

    millennial parents, millennial parent, millennial mom, kids room, organize
    Millennial mom struggles to organize her son’s room. Photo credit: Canva/fotostorm

    So, why are Boomer grandparents excessively gifting? “Boomer grandparents may be the first grandparent generation to have accumulated the substantial discretionary funds that enables them to spend money on their grandchildren,” Sari Goodman, a Certified Parent Educator and founder of Parental Edge, tells Upworthy. “These grandparents probably grew up with grandparents who didn’t have that kind of money and so they may be excited to give their grandchildren the things they didn’t get.”

    Goodman suggests that Millennial parents first discuss with them the “why” behind the gifting. “What comes before setting a boundary to limit over-the-top gift-giving is delving into the reasons grandparents are buying so much,” she explains. “Coming from a place of compassion and understanding makes it possible to come up with mutually beneficial solutions.”

    Other ways grandparents can stay connected

    She recommends that Millennial parents sit down with their Boomer parents to learn more. “Did they grow up without many toys and clothes and are fulfilling a dream? Ask them about the values they learned as children (hard work, perseverance, the power of delayed gratification) and how they can pass on these lessons to the grandchildren,” she suggests.

    She adds that another reason may be that Boomer grandparents live far away and want their grandchildren to feel a connection with them. “Set up a regular FaceTime or Zoom meeting. Rehearse with the kids so they have something to say and suggest a topic for the grandparents,” says Goodman. “Or send snail mail. Kids love getting mail. The grandparents can send postcards from where they live and explain some of the special sites.”

    boomer grandparents, boomer grandparenting, video chat, video call, grandkids
    Boomer grandparents have a video call with grandkids. Photo credit: Canva/Tima Miroshnichenko

    Finally, Goodman adds that for some grandparents, this may be the only way they know how to show their love. Millennial parents could ask if they would be open to other ideas. “Parents can set up an activity for grandparents and kids to do when they come over: a jigsaw puzzle, art activity, board game, magic tricks,” she says. “Arrange for the grandchildren to teach the grandparents something their phones can do or introduce them to an app they might like.”

    This article originally appeared one year ago. It has been updated.

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  • Woman goes to great lengths to adopt baby from husband’s ex-wife to save him from foster care
    Christie Werts and her son, Levi
    ,

    Woman goes to great lengths to adopt baby from husband’s ex-wife to save him from foster care

    “At the time, it just made sense.”

    Tod Perry

    Upworthy Staff

    Christie and Wesley Werts have taken the idea of a blended family to the next level. When the couple fell in love and married, they brought together her children, Megan and Vance, and his children, Austin and Dakota.

    The Ohio family became five children strong after officially adopting Levi in January 2023, when he was nearly 2 years old. Levi is the son of Wesley’s ex-wife, who passed away four days after the child was born. The ex-wife had the boy prematurely, at 33 weeks, and died soon after from drug addiction and complications of COVID-19.

    When Levi was born, he was a ward of the state with no first name or birth certificate.

    “When I heard about Levi, without hesitation, I said we should take him,” Christie said, according to The Daily Mail, and her reason went far beyond the fact that the child was the half-brother to two of her recently adopted children. “I myself was a foster kid and, although for the most part, I had a great experience, I did not want him going to foster care,” Christie said.

    She’d been dreaming of him before he arrived

    Before the family knew of Levi’s birth, Christie had a recurring dream about a blue-eyed, blonde-haired boy.

    “Before Levi, we had wanted to try to have a child of our own,” she told Newsweek. “I’m in my forties, so we knew that we would probably need fertility treatment, so I thought let’s just think about it and what will be will be.”

    @cjthemom5

    Replying to @Journey♥️ Yes, they will always know of her and ill be there for every emotion good or bad. But im also mom, ive been to every game, every doctors appt, sat with them if they needed an ear loved unconditional . I am mom also. #adoption #srorytime #siblings #foryou #loveislove

    ♬ Paper Birds (3 min) – Jordan Halpern Schwartz

    The problem was that Levi was in Texas, so the family sold their house and moved to the Lone Star State to go through the arduous adoption process. The situation was further complicated because Levi’s biological father had parental rights even though he had substance abuse problems. The family couldn’t move out of Texas until his rights were legally terminated.

    But after a 16-month process, in January 2023, Levi became a legal family member. Christie understands that adopting her husband’s ex-wife’s baby may seem unusual to some people. “It’s a lot to process for a lot of people, but honestly, it seems a lot crazier than it was. At the time, it just made sense,” she said.

    She had doubts, but love won anyway

    @cjthemom5

    Our adoption is official !!! after 17 months!!! #adoption #son #loveyou #ourstory#foryou #fyp

    ♬ original sound – Jenna

    Even though Christie knew in her heart that she must adopt Levi, she wasn’t without reservations. “’If I said I did not [have concerns beforehand], that would not be honest,” she told The Daily Mail. “This was different. I was going to walk into a child I never met and was worried the circumstances would hinder this instant love. But […] he stole my heart. I also felt this intense need to protect him.”

    These days, Levi fits right in with the family, and the rest of the kids are happy to be back to living an everyday life without any caseworkers or inspections.

    “He’s great, he is the king of the house! We are all very close. He won’t understand the journey right now, but someday, I will let him know we fought for him!” Christie said.

    Christie has continued to share her family’s journey on TikTok and has since published a book called Life’s Sad Story, God’s Love Story: Transforming a Child’s Adversity into a Tale of Love about her experiences as a foster child and Levi’s adoption story.

    This article originally appeared five years ago. It has been updated.

    Keep Reading →
  • This mom’s controversial parenting take that her kids don’t have to ‘share’ has the Internet divided
    Photo credit: Lottie Weaver/@lottie..weaver – Mom of three Lottie Weaver explains why she doesn't make her kids share.
    ,

    This mom’s controversial parenting take that her kids don’t have to ‘share’ has the Internet divided

    Mom-of-three Lottie Weaver explained her thoughts on sharing.

    Emily Shiffer

    Teaching kids to share is often part of Parenting 101. According to the Cleveland Clinic, educating kids about sharing in early childhood helps them build empathy, fosters social skills, and helps teach them emotional regulation.

    While “sharing is caring,” mom of three daughters Lottie Weaver says she’s teaching her kids that they don’t *always* have to share with others.

    Weaver explained her controversial take and more behind her ‘why.’ “I said it and I’ll say it again, I don’t make my kids share!” she captioned the video.

    @lottie..weaver

    I said it and I’ll say it again, I don’t make my kids share! #momlife #girlmom #momof3 #momsoftiktok #parenting

    ♬ original sound – ✨Lottie✨

    Why her kids don’t have to share

    Weaver starts by stating that her kids “don’t have to share their toys or their snacks or literally any of their things with your kids.”

    She goes on to explain, “If we are out and about at the park or some communal play place, if my kids have a scooter or toy or bubbles, they’re not sharing with your kids. They don’t have to. I will never ever make my kids share their stuff that they brought with another child.”

    The mom of three daughters then offers three reasons for her thinking:

    “Number one: you should’ve brought your own sh*t. Number two: that’s their toy. They don’t have to share with you. Number three: you don’t have to do something just because somebody asks,” she says.

    She elaborates more on her third reason.

    “I think especially for women, that is really important to learn. For girls growing up, just because someone says, ‘Hey can I have this’ or ‘Hey can I do this’…you don’t have to say yes. They should’ve brought their own toys,” she adds.

    @lottie..weaver

    I think you can be a mother and friend at the same time! #momsoftiktok #girlmom #momof3 #momsover30 #momlife

    ♬ original sound – random_stuff

    When to share, and when not to share

    However, Weaver notes that she does not discourage sharing.

    She says, “Now, if my kids want to share, yeah share! But as soon as they’re like, ‘Hey, they’re not giving my stuff back. I’m done sharing’, that’s when my *ss is going over there saying, ‘Cough it up [with a gesturing motion]. Cough it up. Your mommy should have brought you your own toys. We don’t have to share, okay?”

    And Weaver also adds that the venue for sharing also matters.

    “Now if you come to my house for a playdate, that’s very different, right? Because we are welcoming them into our space,” she says. “But if we are out and about, and we don’t know each other very well—even if we do know each other very well, and my kid doesn’t want to share her doll with your kid, she doesn’t have to.”

    @lottie..weaver

    Sometimes they just need a break! The mental health days are the perfect compromise! #momof3 #momsoftiktok #momsover30 #girlmom #daughter

    ♬ Carefree Days – Peaceful Reveries

    Viewers respond with mixed feelings

    Weaver’s video struck a chord with viewers. Some were supportive, while others took issue:

    “I’m so sad as a teacher this is literally the foundation of learning. Made me unfollow 🫠.”

    “Oof🥴 I tell my kids don’t bring toys if you’re not willing to share it.”

    “I disagree. My kiddo will definitely be sharing. ESPECIALLY if another kiddo doesn’t have a toy.”

    “The real flex is raising a child who is friendly, empathetic and WANTS to share.”

    “What an odd thing to say out loud and be proud of. My kids will always be expected to share. Some kids aren’t fortunate enough to have the nice extra things, and I want my kids to be remembered as the sweet ones who were KIND to others.”

    “She’s right tho and yall mad 😭😭😭.”

    “I 100% agree. I teach my kids to share, but that they don’t HAVE to share JUST because someone asks for it.”

    “Adults don’t have to share so why do kids? But … sharing is caring. And it’s always a nice thing to do.”

    “I’m a nanny and I 1,000% agree with you Lottie! We’ve gotten to the point where ppl expect the can just use your stuff at the park. It’s not your toy, they’re allowed to play with their own toy that they brought.”

    “You guys are missing the point. She isn’t saying she’s teaching them to not share… she’s saying she’s teaching them they don’t have to if THEY DONT WANT TO.”

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