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Jay Leno: Well how are your children doing? Are they doing all right?

Jay Leno: I mean how are they?

Louis CK: My kids are good. I mean on paper they're good. They're two little white girls in America.

Jay Leno: Right

Louis CK: I mean what ... sometimes I look it that way. Like you can't say anything.

Jay Leno: Yeah

Louis CK: You're doing awesome. Just boiler plate great life. I gave my daughter medicine the other day and it was bubble gum flavored so that she'll take it.

Jay Leno: Bubble gum flavored medicine

Louis CK: Yeah it's like Tylenol just bubble gum flavored

Jay Leno: Oh so not methadone or anything.

Louis CK: No it's bubble gum flavored. She's got a fever you know bubble gum flavored and she's like eww. F*ck you eww, you can't say eww. I'm sorry. It's medicine.

Jay Leno: Medicine right, exactly.

Louis CK: It's medicine. Most children don't have medicine.

Jay Leno: Right

Louis CK: Most children in the world, they get sick they die on a rock with a bear eating them. That's ... that's how they handle it. Oh he's got a sniffle ring the bear bell and put him outside, or whatever they do. You're a little white girl in America ... you wear clothes made by children your age professionally. You don't get to say eww about your bubble gum medicine.

Jay Leno: (laughing) I never heard of bubble gum medicine

Louis CK: Well.

Jay Leno: You got the holidays coming up. Are you doing anything -- any plans? You seem like a very holiday guy.

Louis CK: No. I just want to say, that I'm not trying to say that if you're white you can't complain. I'm just saying that if you're black you get to complain more.

Jay Leno: Right, right.

Louis CK: You can't, there you go.

Jay Leno: Don't tell the band that.

Louis CK: You can't take people's ... like ... historical context away from them. Everybody always wants to. Like, white people are like come on it wasn't us. Like they want black people to forget everything. Like every year, white people add a hundred years to how long ago slavery was. I've heard educated people say that slavery was four hundred years ago. No it very wasn't. It was a hundred and forty years ago. That's two seventy year old ladies living and dying back to back. That's how recently you could buy a guy. And it's not like slavery ended and then everything has been amazing. It just..

Jay Leno: Glad that's over

Louis CK: Oh yeah it's like a clean sh*t where you don't have to wipe, just boom and then it's been parades and presents ever since. You gotta remember that if you meet a black person and they have grey hair, that they remember a time when they had to use a certain toilet, so give them a little time to be cranky. And by the way white people have their own stuff that we went through, that hurt us that we have to cope with, like when they took our slaves away. That was really hard for us. We're it's pretty


Jay Leno: So it's even. It's even. All right.

There may be small errors in this transcript.

Original by Louis C.K.

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