upworthy
Add Upworthy to your Google News feed.
Google News Button
More

It May Take Her A Whole Year To Repair Her Body After The 5 Years She Lived Through. Deal With It.

It may take a year. It may take more. But a different life is possible.

One of the simplest, realest songs I've ever heard about abuse, recovery, and starting over:

If you weren't able to watch it (in which case you've missed out on a really haunting, beautiful song), or even if you were, let me break down why it's so. freaking. amazing.

The video showcases a series of abuse situations, such as parent-child:

husband-wife:

and peer-to-peer:

Not particularly new territory for music videos. But the song lyrics are what set this one apart. It's being sung in the present from the perspective of the victim as a survivor, explaining to their loved ones about the long-lasting impact of the trauma.

That's what's so powerful here.

Bad, how deep the pain is
Or you just couldn't believe
And yes I'm good on the surface
But I'm a mess, I'm a mess underneath
See winter took most of my heart
And Spring punched right in the stomach
Summer came looking for blood
And by autumn, I was left with nothing







It took a whole damn year to repair my body
It took a whole damn year
It took a whole damn year to repair my body
It's been about five years
Gon' take a long long year for me to trust somebody
Gon' take long long year
Gon' take a long long year for me to touch somebody
It's been a bad five years






It's not just your run-of-the-mill, inspirational, "I was strong enough to leave" survivor's anthem. It's a very real look at how hard life can be after the abuse. It sends three very important messages:

1. To survivors: It's still not easy, and you're not alone.

2. To survivors' loved ones: Be patient and understanding. It takes time to heal.

3. To the outside observers, the friends, the critics: Have some empathy. Understand that the life you are encouraging victims to pursue — free from violence and abuse — may be better in the long run, but it certainly isn't an immediate walk in the park.


Make sure you share this video and those messages far and wide. Maybe we can make the world a little easier and more compassionate for the people around us who are healing from trauma. It may just take a whole damn year.

More
Education

Millennial history teacher explains the 3 phases of Gen X and why they were ‘forgotten’

"They just want to be left alone."

via Canva/Photos

A cassette tape from the '80s.

Generation X occupies an interesting time in history, for those who care to recognize that they actually exist. They were born between 1965 and 1980 and came into this world at an interesting inflection point: women were becoming a larger part of the workplace and divorce was at the highest point in history. This left Gen X to be the least parented generation in recent history.

Gen X was overlooked in their domestic lives and culturally were overshadowed by Baby Boomers with their overpowering nostalgia for Woodstock, The Beatles, and every cultural moment celebrated in Forest Gump. Once Boomer navel-gazing nostalgia began to wane, a much larger and over-parented generation, the Millennials, came on the scene.

“Whereas Boomers were the ‘me generation’ and millennials were the ‘me me me generation,’ Gen X has become the ‘meh’ generation,” Emily Stewart writes at Business Insider. But even if Gen X is a little aloof, that doesn’t mean they aren’t totally rad, awesome, trippindicular, and that it’d be bogus to define them any other way. To explain the unique history of Gen X and why they’re often overlooked, history teacher Lauren Cella created a timeline on TikTok to explain them to her Gen Z students..

@laurencella92

A love letter to Gen X from your millennial cousin🫶 Gen X didn’t start the fire, so after this I will just leave them alone because they do not care 🤣 But seriously for a generation that sometimes gets “forgotten” and stuck between the larger boomer or millennial cohorts, the genres they created paved the way for pop culture as we know it. I’m still not sure who let kids watch “The Day After” on TV or play on those hot metal playgrounds, but Gen X survived to tell the tale. Today, the so called “latchkey” kids, born 1965-1980 are actually super involved as parents, aunts, uncles, teachers (or maybe even grandparents)😉. Kids today want to say they are “built different” but I think Gen X is the one holding down that title because they grew up tough, they saw too much, they made it out, and they know exactly who they are and wouldn’t have it any other way.✌️ #g#genx

In Cella’s video, she divides Gen X into three distinct phases.

Phase 1: 1970s stagflation and changing families

“Gas shortages meant stagflation. So parents either both had to work or maybe they were divorced. So that meant microwave TV dinners and kids that sort of raised themselves,” Cella explains. “There was no parenting blogs, there was no after-school travel sports, emailing. Like, none of that existed. Bored? Go outside."


Phase 2: The neon ‘80s

“But then came the 1980s, where everything was big and loud. The hair, the bangs, the Reaganomics, mass consumerism (because now we can trade with China). The whole media just exploded,” Cella says. “But now we have TV, we have movies, we have TV, movies, home movies, TV movies, favorite TV movies, music, music, Videos, music, video, television. All these different genres and all these different cliques and all these different ways that you can express yourself.”


Phase 3: 1990s post-Cold War Skepticism

“Gen X sort of comes into the 1990s more sarcastic and skeptical,” Cella continues. “The Cold War ending meant that they rejected the excess of the eighties. And there's the shift. Grunge, indie, alternative, flannels, Docs [Doc Martins]. At this point, the technology is also exploding, but not like fun home media, but like corporate media. So there's this resistance to sell-out culture.”


Cella has a theory on why Gen X seems forgotten, and it’s not just because CBS News famously denied its existence. She believes that it comes down to Gen X’s inability to call attention to itself. “So Gen X is a bridge between these two larger, more storied generations. So it's not necessarily that they get forgotten. They don't really want the attention. They're kind of fine to just like, fly under the radar like they always have, because honestly, it's whatever.”

From Your Site Articles
generation x
EducationTeachers
Modern Families

Grandparents share their 'no-buy' things to do while spending time with grandkids

"I just want to do stuff with him that is not centered around buying stuff."

Image via Canva/lisegagne

Grandparents share free activity ideas to do with grandkids.

Spending quality time with grandkids is one of the best things about being grandparents, but it can also be costly. And with many grandparents living on fixed incomes or receiving federal aid (87% of the population aged 65 and over receive benefits from the Social Security Administration), it can be a financial burden.

But grandparents are getting creative with "no-buy" activities to do with their grandkids, and sharing with their fellow grandparents (as well as a few ideas from parents) on Reddit. As one grandparent noted, "Please don’t think I’m cheap. He is the only grandchild in my daughter-in-law’s family and he has toys and games for miles. I just want to do stuff with him that is not centered around buying stuff."

These are 45 of the best free activities grandparents like to do while spending time and making memories with their grandkids.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"'Cook' dinner with me for his folks. (Cook is probably a stretch since what I have planned is more mixing than cooking .) Have a picnic at the park. Go to the library. He loves games so I’m hoping he will teach me his favorite game. Work a puzzle together. I embroidered animals on some plastic canvas I had. I’m going to bring enough yarn for him to sew the background of each and then we are going to sew the panels together to make a box for his allowance. I am bring his dad’s favorite childhood books with me to read together. We are going to the children’s museum." - KeyGovernment4188

"A backyard cookout with s'mores for dessert." - wise_hampster

granpdarents, grandkids, smores, making smores, smores fire Grandparents make smores with grandkids.Image via Canva/Monkey Business Images

"Some parks have (free) nature centers too, my kids used to love those. A couple of parks near me have bird feeders set up near the nature centers too and you’ll see a bunch of different birds coming and going." - Nervous-Internet-926

"Scavenger hunts are fun and there are hundreds you can find online." - mummymunt

"Geocaching would be fun as well." - Jim0621

- YouTube www.youtube.com

"Make a fort. And then have a movie night in it with popcorn and snacks!" - LocalUnit1007 & sapphirebit0

"Find a cool local playground. Bring a couple of his toys (e.g. trucks or a ball). Play hide and seek. Splash pad if they're still open (might not be after Labor Day). Open swim at the local pool. 5 year olds can usually hike up to 2 miles before they start complaining, so any local nature hikes would be fun. Bring snacks. Bake something. If it rains, it can be fun to go on a worm/snail hunt." - glyptodontown

"Also adding to if it rains: Go on a puddle jump about while looking for snails and worms. Some of my best memories with my grandpa were us getting wet and muddy after a rain storm." - Usual-Bag-3605

"Bake! My grandmother couldn't handle helping me bake cookies as a kid, but she bought premade cookie dough and we had a good time. Hide and seek. Card games for older kids. Board games- candy land and other quick stuff is best. My grandparents had a box of toys and books for us at their house- nothing fancy, but different than our stuff at home. Go to yard sales (or other cheap places), let kids pick something for less than a few dollars. Could let them fill up toy box at their house. Bubbles. Music (freeze dance is great to get kids tired and grandparents can sit!). Special movie/tv shows. Putt-putt, walk around neighborhood, bowling (even toddlers can participate- make sure alley has small balls and gutter rails)." - Doththecrocodile

"Walks. Walks are never ‘just’ walks. They are opportunities to connect, for him to learn more about you and vice versa. Spotting nature signs, collecting stuff or taking photos of interesting things, or just walk and chat. You’ll both remember these lovely times 😊." - Cool-Strawberry-9853

grandparents, grandma, grandpa, grandkids, walk Grandparents go on a walk with grandkids.Image via Canva/Monkey Business Images

"Make a family photo album. Or do a family tree. Or recycle Christmas cards into gift tags." - SnowblindAlbino

"My 6 year old is being taught how to play chess by his grandad at the moment. He's getting really good at it! Granny plays playdoh with him and does all the artsy craftsy stuff with him. He goes to stay with them every fortnight and gets to do lots of fun things, they go for walks and to garden centers. He loves it! :)" - ThermiteMillie

"Things that are easy to do at the table, or while sitting, like: Dominoes, either playing the game or standing them up to topple over. Age appropriate board games, likes chutes & ladders, Chinese checkers, candy land, etc. Play doh...my son asks for help rolling the doh out then uses cookie cutters. Books, books, books! For added interest get some lift the flaps or seek & find...a drive or walk to the library. Painting, drawing, coloring. Pipe cleaners! What shapes, letters, numbers, etc can you make. Legos. Magnets on cookie sheets, you can usually find letter & number magnets at the dollar store. Throw to gather a bunch of random craft items from the dollar store and let them have at it! Grandparents can help younger kids with scissors or using glue. Check Pinterest, you can find tons of free worksheets to print, from mazes to connect the dots, practice writing, etc. If you want them to be re-useable, slip them in plastic sheet protectors and use dry erase markers so they can be wiped off and used again. Puppets, make your own or buy some. Games that aren't too physical, like Simon Says or I Spy. A few ideas, anyway..." - I_dont_like_pickles

From Your Site Articles
grandkid activities
Modern FamiliesFamily
Pop Culture

Airbnb host finds unexpected benefits from not charging guests a cleaning fee

Host Rachel Boice went for a more "honest" approach with her listings—and saw major perks because of it.

@rachelrboice/TikTok

Many frustrated Airbnb customers have complained that the separate cleaning fee is a nuisance.

Airbnb defines its notorious cleaning fee as a “one-time charge” set by the host that helps them arrange anything from carpet shampoo to replenishing supplies to hiring an outside cleaning service—all in the name of ensuring guests have a “clean and tidy space.”

But as many frustrated Airbnb customers will tell you, this feature is viewed as more of a nuisance than a convenience. According to NerdWallet, the general price for a cleaning fee is around $75, but can vary greatly between listings, with some units having cleaning fees that are higher than the nightly rate (all while sometimes still being asked to do certain chores before checking out). And often none of these fees show up in the total price until right before the booking confirmation, leaving many travelers feeling confused and taken advantage of.

However, some hosts are opting to build cleaning fees into the overall price of their listings, mimicking the strategy of traditional hotels.

Rachel Boice runs two Airbnb properties in Georgia with her husband Parker—one being this fancy glass plane tiny house (seen below) that promises a perfect glamping experience.

@rachelrboice Welcome to The Tiny Glass House 🤎 #airbnbfinds #exploregeorgia #travelbucketlist #tinyhouse #glampingnotcamping #atlantageorgia #fyp ♬ Aesthetic - Tollan Kim

Like most Airbnb hosts, the Boice’s listing showed a nightly rate and separate cleaning fee. According to her interview with Insider, the original prices broke down to $89 nightly, and $40 for the cleaning fee.

But after noticing the negative response the separate fee got from potential customers, Rachel told Insider that she began charging a nightly rate that included the cleaning fee, totaling to $129 a night.

It’s a marketing strategy that more and more hosts are attempting in order to generate more bookings (people do love feeling like they’re getting a great deal) but Boice argued that the trend will also become more mainstream since the current Airbnb model “doesn’t feel honest.”

"We stay in Airbnbs a lot. I pretty much always pay a cleaning fee," Boice told Insider. "You're like: 'Why am I paying all of this money? This should just be built in for the cost.'"

Since combining costs, Rachel began noticing another unexpected perk beyond customer satisfaction: guests actually left her property cleaner than before they were charged a cleaning fee. Her hypothesis was that they assumed she would be handling the cleaning herself.

"I guess they're thinking, 'I'm not paying someone to clean this, so I'll leave it clean,'" she said.

This discovery echoes a similar anecdote given by another Airbnb host, who told NerdWallet guests who knew they were paying a cleaning fee would “sometimes leave the place looking like it’s been lived in and uncleaned for months.” So, it appears to be that being more transparent and lumping all fees into one overall price makes for a happier (and more considerate) customer.

These days, it’s hard to not be embittered by deceptive junk fees, which can seem to appear anywhere without warning—surprise overdraft charges, surcharges on credit cards, the never convenience “convenience charge” when purchasing event tickets. Junk fees are so rampant that certain measures are being taken to try to eliminate them outright in favor of more honest business approaches.

Speaking of a more honest approach—as of December 2022, AirBnb began updating its app and website so that guests can see a full price breakdown that shows a nightly rate, a cleaning fee, Airbnb service fee, discounts, and taxes before confirming their booking.

Guests can also activate a toggle function before searching for a destination, so that full prices will appear in search results—avoiding unwanted financial surprises.


This article originally appeared two years ago.

From Your Site Articles
community
Pop CultureInternet
Community

In 1984, a reporter gave a heart-stopping tutorial for how to cross a deadly intersection

And we think America isn't pedestrian-friendly.

Canva Photos

A brave reporter showed how to cross one of the busiest streets in the world.

Have you ever seen those videos of the world's craziest intersections? If you've never driven abroad before, it can be hard to imagine driving in them. It's even harder to imagine yourself as a pedestrian trying to cross the road.

In 1984, legendary German TV reporter Ulrich Wickert performed a heart-stopping demonstration of exactly how to do it: His challenge? Crossing Place de la Concorde.

For the uninitiated, Place de la Concorde is one of the busiest squares in Paris. It was completed in 1772, making it nearly 300 years old. In the 1980s, vehicle traffic around the Place was extremely thick and not friendly at all to pedestrians looking to cross the road.

place de la concorde, busy streets, pedestrians, roads, streets, traffic, walkable, ulrich wickert, safety, cities, cars Place de la Concorde seen at night.Esteban Chiner/Flickr

Wickert calmly explains that to successfully cross the busy road without stop lights or crosswalks, the trick was to just...walk directly into traffic.

Narrating as he does so, Wickert advises visitors to walk at a steady pace and not look at the drivers. Any pause, hesitation, or eye contact could put you at risk for being run over.

The resulting video is harrowing, to say the least. At one point, he looks like he'll certainly be clobbered by an oncoming van. But Wickert lived to tell the tale and his report grew his already large profile around the globe as amazed viewers couldn't believe their eyes.

People can't get enough of the demonstration. Ever since the advent of social media, Wickert's video has gone viral every couple of years like clockwork.

Luckily for residents and tourists in Paris, Place de la Concorde gave over traffic lanes to pedestrians in 1994. which made the square far safer and more friendly—if a little less thrilling.

The traffic seen in Wickert's report pales in comparison to road conditions in many parts of the world, particularly Southeast Asian nations like Vietnam and Thailand, as well as India. Pedestrians in these countries have to be extremely bold when dealing with traffic.

In these congested roadways cars (and scooters and other motorbikes) simply do not yield to pedestrians. The only way to cross the street is to simply go and allow drivers to adjust to your presence by driving around you. The trick is to not ever stop, hesitate, or look at the drivers.

The videos of locals and tourists alike pulling this off are absolutely stunning.

- YouTube www.youtube.com

In some countries, it's common for pedestrians to stick a hand out to signal their intent.

In other places, the traffic is so unimaginably thick that pedestrians just have to bob and weave and hope for the best.

@shev_n_dev

Road crossing in Delhi, India 🇮🇳 #indiatiktok #tiktokindia #tiktokindia🇮🇳 #india #indiantiktok #indiantiktok🇮🇳🇮🇳

Crossing the street in Southeast Asian looks like the adrenaline rush of a lifetime, but it's clearly not the safest activity in the world. Neither is being a pedestrian in America.

You probably wouldn't be surprised to hear that pedestrians are struck by cars quite a bit in countries where there are no crosswalks and few traffic lights.

What might surprise you is that America, for all of its infrastructure and intentional city design, is also pretty bad in this area. And it's getting worse. Roads in the USA usually have stoplights, speed limits, and crosswalks, but vehicles are getting so outrageously big that pedestrian fatalities are getting frighteningly common. That's a uniquely American problem that most other developed countries don't have, and, even in America, the problem of safe walkability is worse in low-income areas.

We can all agree that whether you're running for your life to cross a busy street in Dehli, or playing Frogger with a 6,000 pound pickup truck in the USA, pedestrian safety is something that matters. We should all be able to walk places in our communities without getting run down.

Luckily, there are global initiatives underway to try to make the world safer and more friendly to pedestrians, like Vision Zero. It's a system that's been used to great effect to reduce pedestrian deaths across Europe and is making headway in some US cities. Vision Zero involves interventions like lowering speed limits, making crosswalks bigger and more visible, creating connected sidewalks, and enlarging bike lanes.

The world should be designed for people first, not vehicles. Making roads safer all over the globe might cost us these fascinating videos, but the benefits for pedestrians will be well worth it.

From Your Site Articles
videos
CommunityJoy
Community

My rideshare driver asks passengers to share 'Lyfting Advice' and it restores faith in humanity

"You haven't had a perfect day until you do something for someone who will never be able to repay you."

Photo Credit: Canva

A woman gets into a rideshare. A journal full of wisdom.

"Your driver is arriving in 2 minutes. Look for Armand in a Kia Sorento." This message popped up on my iPhone as I was furiously looking for my keys to go enjoy a night of tacos and margaritas. Frazzled, I got into my Lyft, and the weird sense of dread I'd had all day immediately dissipated.

We said our hellos as I glanced down to see a yellow spiral notebook and pen in the back seat. On the front, someone had written, "Lyfting Advice." I asked what it was and for the next ten minutes, en route to my destination, I was reminded that even in these challenging (for some, even harrowing) times, the goodness of humanity has the ability to prevail.

Armand explained that he has been asking passengers to write down any words of wisdom (or frankly whatever is on their minds) in the notebook. (He named it "Lyfting Advice," because the idea is, quite perfectly, that people give "uplifting advice in a Lyft.") At the end of every day, he reads these passages/quotes/snippets as he reflects on his life and his place in this world. "Go ahead, take a look," he encouraged. I flipped to the first page and was instantly moved by what I saw. Different handwriting across different days—people in the back of this rideshare had beautiful messages to share.

lyft, uber, rideshare, wisdom, community Lyft passengers share words if wisdom in a journal.Photo Credit: Cecily Knobler

The first to catch my eye was this seemingly familiar idea: "Never regret a day in your life. Good days give happiness. Bad days give experiences. Worst days give lessons and best days give memories."

One simply writes, "You are enough. You are loved." And this passenger quoted UCLA basketball coach John Wooden: "You haven't had a perfect day until you do something for someone who will never be able to repay you." Another shares, "The best things in life are simple."

John Wooden, UCLA, lyft, Uber, rideshare, wisdom Wisdom from Lyft passengers in a journal.Photo Credit: Cecily Knobler

I read the latter out loud and we began discussing the little special moments in life that make it easier. Friendships, sunshine, and yes—tacos.

Some people talked about the importance of listening to health cues, both physical and mental. "Do not put your job over your health." Another writes, "Be strong enough to hold yourself accountable. Own up to mistakes, challenges, anything that makes life seem tough. It'll help you grow." And another, "Take care of yourself in health. Otherwise, you'll need to take care of yourself in sickness."

Many focused on overcoming the not-so-good days. "One day at a time. This too shall pass. Time heals all." "Stop worrying about what other people think about you and then you'll experience true freedom and happiness." "No one will save you but yourself. Life passes away quickly, don't wait to live your best life!"

Lyft, rideshare, Uber, wisdom. community Words of wisdom in a journal in a LyftPhoto Credit: Cecily Knobler

Armand shared his personal favorite: "Be led by your dreams versus being pushed by your problems." When he asked me to share mine, I gave him some verbal encouragement and wrote, "Check the Upworthy website in about a week."

From Your Site Articles
wisdom
CommunityJoy
Trending Stories