Katie: First Jenny got it. Then stupid Vicky got it. And I tried everything to get my period! Nothing. So I faked it. Hm. Looks like Florida. Yeah I got it. It's so red.
Friend: Cherry slush club!
Friend: Blood sisters.
Katie: They bought it.
Mom: Hey, Katie, what's this?
Katie: What do you think it is? I'm on my ladies days.
Mom: What do I think it is? Rubylious nail polish, but she doesn't need to know that. We have to celebrate.
Katie: No, we don't.
Mom: Oh, its family tradition. We're throwing you a first moon party.
Katie: What the hell is a first moon party?
Mom: Oh, its one thing to lie to me, but to take that tone? It's on. Hi, do you make vagina cakes? Hello?
Katie: Then people started showing up at my house.
Mom: Grandpa! Good to see you!
Grandpa: So grown up!
Katie: Grandparents? My friends?
Friend: This is so weird.
Katie: My mom's freakin' co-workers?
Co-worker: There she is. I got you a super pack.
Katie : These are coffee filters.
Coworker: Yeah, I wasn't sure what brand you liked. Kids.
Katie: I just didn't expect my mom to be such a freak!
Mom: Pin the pad on the period! All right. Step right up!
Katie: Pin the pad on the period? Seriously?
Mom: Do you know how hard it is to find a uterus pinata?
Katie: I used to like marshmallows. Not anymore.
Boy: This next one's for Katie.
Boy: And the weirdest birthday party ever!
Mom: Mike drop.
Boys: I'm a...
Katie: When things couldn't get any worse.
Katie: My dad showed up. [screams]
Mom: What are you doing? You're missing the vagician [sic].
Katie: You need to stop this. No one is having fun.
Mom: What are you talking about? This party is a hit. Your grandpa is bobbing for ovaries like a champ!
Katie: I faked it!
Mom: [Laugh] Well maybe you should open this first.
Katie: Period starter kit? Aren't you going to ground me for lying?
Mom: Why do you think I threw you the first moon party? Would you think I wouldn't know? Periods don't have glitter in them.
Co-worker: Sometimes you just got to wait.There may be small errors in this transcript.