If you lived through an 80s childhood, this will send you back.
Generation X, made up of those born between 1965 and 1980, has many claims-to-fame in their younger years game. Gen X brought the world Prince and Kurt Cobain. We were The Goonies and The Breakfast Club. We took down the Berlin Wall while watching MTV.
But perhaps the most iconic thing about Gen X is our semi-feral childhoods of benign neglect. The standards of parenting and child rearing have shifted a lot in the past 40 to 50 years, as has the technological landscape that kids grow up in, so naturally, today's kids won't have the same childhoods previous generations had. But there's something particularly nostalgic about being a child of the 80s for those who lived it.
One mom nailed the experience with a video reenactment of what it was like to come home from school in the 80s.
Elizabeth Stevens (@BennettPeach on YouTube) arrives at the front door in her backpack, then pulls out a house key on a string around her neck. (Ah, the "latchkey kid" era when children were expected to come home to an empty house and let themselves in.)
Then she goes into the kitchen in her Care Bears t-shirt and finds a handwritten note—in cursive, of course—on the back of an envelope. "Working late—make your own dinner, watch your brother and the dishes better be done when I get home from bowling. – Mom"
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That's right. Mom wasn't just working late, she was also going bowling while her kids were home caring for themselves.
Then we see her washing the dishes despite barely being able to reach the faucet, even with a stool, and then her making a Gen X staple—the cinnamon-sugar and butter sandwich. On white bread, of course.
In just one minute, Stevens managed to capture the essence of so many Gen X memories, as commenters shared:
"The mom notes on an unopened bill is memories."
"Nailed it! The best thing about growing up in the '70s/'80's was being ALLOWED to grow up."
"Why this video made me almost cry?? How quiet it is inside the home. Lovely."
Wash the dishes before I get home from bowling! Photo by CDC on Unsplash
"Facts!!! No babysitter, go in the house, read the note, do the chores n not let anybody in!!!! I remember the homemade the 'cinnamon bun.'"
"70s and 80s … latch key kid here elementary, junior high and high school. we turned out self sufficient, independent and successful."
"Just so frickin on point!!! All of it from the clothes to the key on the necklace to the note. Even what you chose to do for a snack. Too good!!! The windbreaker that's memories. It's all coming back to me now lol thank you for this. You have brought a huge grin to both me and my inner child."
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"I was met with a note everyday, too. On the back of an envelope, my daily chores would be listed. If I was in trouble, I would cry as soon as I saw the note....lolol Love you momma. How I wished I could have saved those notes! They were historical treasures."
Tons of people gushed over the nostalgia of remembering those "good old days" when they were given both freedom and responsibility, with many saying kids today have no idea. One thing that might surprise the younger generations was how young the theoretical kid in this video could have been. We're not talking about young teens here—kids as young as 5 or 6 could be latchkey kids, and kids any older than that were often given responsibility for looking after younger siblings. Even official babysitting jobs could start around age 11, or sometimes even younger.
Gen X kids had learned to take care of themselves early on, which has its pros and cons. The rose-colored glasses many Gen X adults view their childhoods through can sometimes cloud the parts that were not so great about growing up in the 70s and 80s. Sure, that benign neglect resulted in resilience and independence, but for some that came at the cost of parental relationships and a sense of safety and security. We have more knowledge now about things like mental health support, parent-child attachment, and healthy relationship dynamics, and some of that learning is reflected in shifting parenting practices.
As often happens, the pendulum may have swung too far from the absent parents of the 70s and 80s to the helicopter parents of the 90s and 2000s, of course, and the "right" approach (if there is one) probably lies somewhere in the middle. But it is still fun to look back on those iconic childhood experiences with joy and humor and appreciate that they helped us become who we are today.
This article originally appeared in April. It has been updated.
Does being popular really matter?
Even decades into adulthood, most of us still remember who the popular kids were in high school, at least by face if not by name. Something about adolescent social interactions really sticks with us, and popularity (or lack thereof) is one thing that stands out in a typical high school experience. However, our memories of the popular kids last a lot longer than their actual popularity does, especially if those kids were a particular kind of popular.
Mitch Prinstein, PhD, a clinical child and adolescent psychologist, professor of psychology and neuroscience, and the director of clinical psychology at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, explains that there are two kinds of popularity in his book, Popular: Finding Happiness and Success in a World That Cares Too Much About the Wrong Kinds of Relationships. According to his research, one type of popularity is a predictor of a long and fulfilling life, while the other is the opposite.
There's a difference between likeable popularity and status popularity.Photo credit: Canva
"Those who are popular can be two different groups," Prinstein shared with the Speaking of Psychology podcast. "You have some who are popular when they were young, and they would be the kind that we would call 'likable.' However, a different kind of popularity emerges in adolescents, which we refer to as 'status.' And those are very different types of popularity. Likeability is good, status is pretty bad."
"Likeable" popularity is found in people who have genuinely likeable traits. These traits make people want to spend time with them and trust them because they make people feel valued and included. "Status" popularity is found in people who are influential and powerful, but not necessarily well-liked. We can probably all name people from our high school days who fit each of those categories of popular, and perhaps some who overlap both. (The class president who also happens to be a really kind and caring person, for instance.)
Prinstein's analysis of the research indicates that people who are likeable popular are more likely to end up in a happy marriage with well-adjusted kids and a successful career, whereas high status popularity correlates to long-term problems with depression, anxiety, substance use, and relationship problems. In other words, the "cool" kids who dominate the social landscape with power and influence in high school often don't fare as well as the kids who are popular because people truly like them.
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Those disparate outcomes may not come as a surprise, all things considered, but Prinstein says we're living at a time when status popularity matters farther into adulthood than it did before. Like the brains of other mammals, the adolescent human brain is predisposed to look toward status because, on an instinctual level, it can mean access to more resources or mating partners. We're biologically wired to desire status popularity when we're young.
"It used to be that we would stop caring about that kind of popularity when we graduated from high school," Prinstein told Speaking of Psychology. "That's not the way the world works anymore though…things have dramatically changed in the last 20 or 30 years in ways that now make us care about status more than we ever have before."
Prinstein shared that it seemed to start with 24-hour cable news shows, then spread to reality TV and social media. In the past, we didn't have ubiquitous access to the lives of celebrities, virality wasn't a thing, and there weren't "likes" at the click of a button to feed the idea of status popularity being important.
Social media has pushed status popularity last beyond high school.Photo credit: Canva
"I'm so worried about teens today because they've lived in a world where pursuing status with a mouse click or on your phone 24/7, that's become normal," said Prinstein. "And when I worked on the book I was shocked to find how many covers of magazines for both kids and for adults are really promoting the message that we should care about our likes, and our retweets and our followers and even kids are being encouraged to say things on social media that they explicitly don't believe because if it gets them more likes or followers then it's worth it. And if you think about the message that that's sending the kids, that status is more important than actual true connections with others or integrity, that's a really really scary message."
Considering the outcomes, focusing more on likeability than status can help us all live better, more fulfilling lives. How do we do that? One way is to think about what you find likeable in other people and try to develop those qualities in yourself. Become a better listener. Support people by being encouraging and celebrating their wins. Don't brag or complain too much. Be kind and courteous. Ensure that everyone feels welcome and included when you're in a group.
Popularity isn't the ultimate goal, of course, but being likable will help you throughout your life, whereas status is a never-ending ladder that ultimately leads to nowhere. So if you find yourself yearning to be popular, pick the kind of popular you actually value and place your energy and attention there.
You can listen to the entire Speaking of Psychology interview with Dr. Prinstein here.
Teen creates earring that snaps pictures and alerts police in event of an assault
Gender-based violence is a problem in countries across the globe, but is especially prevalent in South Africa. While laws and societal views are slowly shifting towards making women feel more comfortable reporting assaults, people have been trying to find ways to mitigate the harm. In 2015, four college students invented color-changing nail polish to help detect the presence of "date-rape drugs" in drinks. A 16-year-old girl and her brother invented a hair scrunchie that doubles as a drink cover to prevent drinks from being spiked.
Bohlale Mphahlele of Limpopo, South Africa, is joining the list of young people thinking outside the box to help keep women safe. At just 16 years old, she decided to do something to help women identify their attackers while also getting them help faster. The SJ van der Merwe Technical High School student created an earpiece that fits on the ear like an earring, except it's not. The device is multiple things in one, designed not only to help collect photographic evidence of an assaulter but also to help prevent human trafficking.
Contemplative moment at the bar.Photo credit: Canva
There's a lot of tech packed into that small earring-like device, and all of it will assist in keeping women as safe as possible. According to the 2024 South Africa’s Human Sciences Research Council report, more than one in three women of the 5,603 women who participated in the study reported experiencing sexual or physical violence within their lifetime. Just like many women in America don't report assaults due to stigma or fear of not being believed, the same is true for the women in South Africa. Mphahlele is throwing them a lifeline.
The device, aptly named the Alerting Earpiece, is designed to operate with a simple, discreet press of a button. Fiddling with an earring wouldn't be abnormal in any situation. The button being easily accessible in that manner will allow wearers to press it without suspicion. What happens after they push the Alerting Earpiece can be lifesaving.
It acts as a wearable panic device, not only alerting trusted, pre-selected people that you need help, but also alerting law enforcement. The faux earring sends your live GPS location and silently captures photos of the assailant through the tiny front-facing camera. All of that is jam-packed into something that can fit on someone's ear. The camera will provide crucial evidence that can be lacking in these situations, especially if the attacker gets away. The GPS will also enable police to receive the alert in real-time, which can be a game-changer in terms of timeline.
Friends enjoying drinks and conversation at a cozy bar.Photo credit: Canva
According to Uzalendo News, judges praised the teen's invention, awarding her the bronze medal at the Eskom Expo for Young Scientists. Mphahlele explains to the same outlet, "that the rise in reported cases of abuse, especially among women and young girls, inspired her to think about practical safety solutions." She emphasized that "technology should be used not just for convenience but to protect the vulnerable."
Left: Elegant earring. Right: Bartender pours drinks.Photo credit: Canva
The invention is making waves across South Africa, with the Limpopo Department of Education praising the prototype, and calls from Education Member of the Executive Council Polly Boshielo for investments to enable the device to be mass-produced. The teen isn't standing idly by; she is also actively seeking investors, partnerships, and technical support to refine the device and bring it to consumers, according to iOL.
This clever invention could save lives across the globe and give victims of violent crime a fighting chance at justice.
