When explicit images of this actor's penis leaked online, 'it' wrote a powerful letter.
According to Joel Dommett, he's a celebrity of "below average levels of fame." But a recent incident threatened to give him the kind of exposure nobody wants or deserves.
Photo by Matt Crockett used with permission
The comedian and actor wrote that he recently met someone online for "Skype sex," but that person turned out to be a scammer in disguise. Soon, photos and videos of Dommett from the Skype session were popping up all over the internet, to his horror.
What happened to Dommett has become a frighteningly common method for criminals to extort money from innocent people, usually men.
According to an account written for the BBC, scammers create fake profiles for attractive females and use Facebook messenger or another app to lure unsuspecting guys into video calls. There, using a combination of text-chat and what looks like a live stream of said attractive female (it's often just video downloaded from a porn site), they entice the victim into explicit acts.
They record the whole thing, and as soon as it's over, demand huge amounts of money under threat of distributing the video to friends, family, or in Dommett's case, to the media.
Dommett figured the news, and video, was bound to get out. So he did what he felt he needed to do to get ahead of the story: He wrote an open-letter from his penis.
"...There are now pictures of me, ’Joel’s part’ on the internet," the tongue-in-cheek statement began. "I was quite happy being a completely unknown penis and this new found fame is frankly horrific for me and Joel, although we have both realised that it’s better to laugh about it than cry about it."
He (it?) goes on to warn people about the serious nature of the scam.
"It's a horrific thing for another human being to do, to take advantage of what is private of someones life and make it public for everyone to see."
Read the full post here:
Statement From Joel Dommett's Penis. The following is a statement written by Joel’s Penis before it went, with Joel,...
Posted by Joel Dommett on Sunday, December 11, 2016
This may seem like a joke, but Dommett, and his penis, are right: This new breed of cybersex crime deserves to be taken incredibly seriously.
It's great to see Dommett sticking with his cheerful brand of self-deprecating humor to bring awareness to this issue, but for a lot of men in similar predicaments, the shame is too much to bear.
Many are too mortified to ask for help and end up paying exorbitant amounts of money to keep the scammers quiet. Others fare even worse. In 2013, a Scottish teenager reportedly committed suicide after criminals threatened to send explicit video of him to his family members.
Dommett wants people to know that there's no shame in asking for help if you find yourself being extorted by internet criminals. He even links to an organization that offers a friendly ear, sound advice, and total anonymity to anyone who needs it.
He may have chosen a, uh, unique way of getting his message out, but to the countless men suffering silently through a potentially life-ruining extortion, Dommett giving his penis a "voice" may have been the bravest thing he could do.
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12 non-threatening leadership strategies for women
We mustn't hurt a man's feelings.
Men and the feels.
Note: This an excerpt is from Sarah Cooper's book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings.
In this fast-paced business world, female leaders need to make sure they're not perceived as pushy, aggressive, or competent.
One way to do that is to alter your leadership style to account for the fragile male ego.
Should men accept powerful women and not feel threatened by them? Yes. Is that asking too much?
IS IT?
Sorry, I didn't mean to get aggressive there. Anyhoo, here are twelve non-threatening leadership strategies for women.
Encourage.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When setting a deadline, ask your coworker what he thinks of doing something, instead of just asking him to get it done. This makes him feel less like you're telling him what to do and more like you care about his opinions.
Sharing ideas.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When sharing your ideas, overconfidence is a killer. You don't want your male coworkers to think you're getting all uppity. Instead, downplay your ideas as just "thinking out loud," "throwing something out there," or sharing something "dumb," "random," or "crazy."
Email requests.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pepper your emails with exclamation marks and emojis so you don't come across as too clear or direct. Your lack of efficient communication will make you seem more approachable.
Idea sharing.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
If a male coworker steals your idea in a meeting, thank him for it. Give him kudos for how he explained your idea so clearly. And let's face it, no one might've ever heard it if he hadn't repeated it.
Sexism.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you hear a sexist comment, the awkward laugh is key. Practice your awkward laugh at home, with your friends and family, and in the mirror. Make sure you sound truly delighted even as your soul is dying inside.
Mansplain.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Men love explaining things. But when he's explaining something and you already know that, it might be tempting to say, "I already know that." Instead, have him explain it to you over and over again. It will make him feel useful and will give you some time to think about how to avoid him in the future.
Mistakes.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Pointing out a mistake is always risky so it's important to always apologize for noticing the mistake and then make sure that no one thinks you're too sure about it. People will appreciate your "hey what do I know?!" sensibilities.
Promotions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Asking your manager for a promotion could make you seem power- hungry, opportunistic, and transparent. Instead, ask a male coworker to vouch for you. Have your coworker tell your manager you'd be great for the role even though you don't really want it. This will make you more likely to actually get that promotion.
Rude.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Sometimes not everyone is properly introduced at the start of a meeting. Don't take it personally even if it happens to you all the time, and certainly don't stop the meeting from moving forward to introduce yourself. Sending a quick note afterward is the best way to introduce yourself without seeming too self-important.
Interruptions.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When you get interrupted, you might be tempted to just continue talking or even ask if you can finish what you were saying. This is treacherous territory. Instead, simply stop talking. The path of least resistance is silence.
Collaboration.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When collaborating with a man, type using only one finger. Skill and speed are very off-putting.
Disagreements.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
When all else fails, wear a mustache so everyone sees you as more man-like. This will cancel out any need to change your leadership style. In fact, you may even get a quick promotion!
In conclusion...
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
Many women have discovered the secret power of non-threatening leadership. We call it a "secret power" because no one else actually knows about it. We keep our power hidden within ourselves so that it doesn't frighten and intimidate others. That's what makes us the true unsung heroes of the corporate world.
About the Author: Sarah Cooper
Sarah Cooper is a writer, comedian, and author of 100 Tricks to Appear Smart in Meetings. Her new book, How to Be Successful Without Hurting Men's Feelings, is out now.
The comedic book cover.
With permission from Sarah Cooper.
A satirical take on what it's like to be a woman in the workplace, Cooper draws from her experience as a former executive in the world of tech (she's a former Googler and Yahooer). You can get the book here.
This article was originally published on March 25, 2019.