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Family

What a suicide survivor wants you to know about her triggers.

One woman explains why survivors of suicide loss can spend much of their days dodging triggers.

This story was originally published on Reflecting Out Loud and The Mighty.

The other day while in Target, I overheard two young women in the bathing suit department:

One held up a bathing suit and jokingly showed it to the other, asking "How about this one?" The other girl responded, "I’d kill myself if I had to wear that."


The following day I was in Kohl’s camp shopping for my daughters. A frazzled mother was talking aloud to herself as she passed me, her toddler in tow. "Did I get a gift receipt? I can’t remember if I did. Damn it! I’d like to just shoot myself today."

Both moments felt like a sucker punch and momentarily took my breath away.

Photo via iStock.

We are so flippant in our language.

I am certain I was once guilty of it too. It’s so easy to make light of suicide — until it touches your life or the life of someone you love.

And then, you quickly discover, there’s not a single funny thing about suicide. Survivors of suicide loss spend much of our days dodging triggers. We sit down to watch a television show only to have a joke made about suicide. We deal with the drug commercials that lump suicidal thoughts and actions right next to hives and rashes when discussing possible side effects — as if they are even close to being on par with one another. We try to tune into election coverage only to hear words like "political suicide" tossed about.

Here’s the thing — if you can wake up in the morning, kiss your loved ones, walk outdoors and breathe in the fresh air, then there is no "suicide" in the demise of your political career.

We survivors are everywhere.

And there is nothing funny about the loss we are learning to live with.

So how about we stop treating it like a punchline or a reasonable response to a moment of frustration? Let’s treat it like the serious and painful issue that it is, an issue that claims another life every 12.8 minutes in this country and shatters the world of those left behind.

The triggers for suicide are abundant, and we dodge them all day long. But that places the burden on us. And quite frankly, our shoulders can only take so much before our knees buckle.

So please, take ownership of your words. Because I’m fairly certain a missing receipt or an ill fitting bathing suit is not something you would seriously end your life over.

And if they were, I promise you, it would be no laughing matter.

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