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young people

Mark Wahlberg on "The Ellen Show."

When his daughter Grace was 10 years old, actor Mark Wahlberg attended a daddy-daughter dance with her. Sadly, Grace had no interest in seeing her father strutting his stuff on the dance floor. "I didn't get one dance," Wahlberg told Ellen DeGeneres. "And I told her we were going to do the whole big circle and I was going to go off. And she said, 'Dad, if you embarrass me, I will never talk to you again.' But what she did do is she hung out with me."

No matter who your dad is, especially if you're a 10-year-old-girl, you have zero desire to see him dance in front of your friends. But the parents at the dance probably would have had a blast seeing Wahlberg bust out some of his old-school '90s Marky Mark moves. However, Wahlberg couldn't help but leave his mark on the music being played at the dance.

marky mark, mark wahlberg, good vibrationsMark Wahlberg was known as "Marky Mark" in the 90s.Giphy

Let's not forget, he didn't get famous for his acting but for showing off his abs in the "Good Vibrations" video.

Being that Wahlberg's time as a pop star was three decades ago, he couldn't believe it when he heard the music being played at the dance.

"[Grace] sat there on the edge of the stage, by the DJ. And then I'm sitting there with one other dad and I'm like, 'This is not an edited version of this song. There are explicit lyrics being played at a school dance for girls and I'm like no good,'" he said.

"I told the DJ and he's like, 'Oh, I thought it was.' I said, 'What are you doing?' I'm hearing F-bombs and this and that's not okay," Wahlberg said.

- YouTubeyoutu.be

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

profanity, foul language, swearing"Your language is offensive!" Giphy

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

profanity, swearing, f-bombs, music lyricsMusic lyrics can be highly inappropriate for youngsters.Photo credit: Canva

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect.

Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."

He's right. There's no place for music with explicit lyrics at a dance for 10-year-old children.

parental advisory, explicit content, explicit lyricsParental Advisory Explicit Content warnings are there for a reason.Giphy

Wahlberg says the DJ didn't know he wasn't playing the edited version, but it's probably more likely that he didn't even realize the song was a problem. Pop music these days is filled with a numbing amount of violent and misogynistic lyrics.

A recent study from the University of Missouri found that nearly one-third of pop songs contain lyrics that degrade or demean women by portraying them as submissive or sexually objectified.

Currently, three of the top five songs on the Billboard Top 40 contain the word "bitch." One of them is sung in Korean.

It's odd that Americans have become more sensitive to misogyny in pop culture in films, television, and comedy, but still have a huge cultural blind-spot when it comes to music.

That's not a good thing, especially when pop music is marketed to teenagers.

music lyrics, misogyny, pop culture, explicit contentPeople often brush off misogynistic lyrics in modern music.Photo credit: Canva

"We know that music has a strong impact on young people and how they view their role in society," said Cynthia Frisby, a professor in the Missouri School of Journalism.

"Unlike rap or hip-hop, pop music tends to have a bubbly, uplifting sound that is meant to draw listeners in," Frisby continued. "But that can be problematic if the lyrics beneath the sound are promoting violence and misogynistic behavior."

Let's face it, pop stars are role models. Their examples show young people what to wear and how to behave. That's not to say that kids will blindly follow someone just because they like their music. But it has an undeniable effect. Wahlberg, and any parent who monitors what their kids are listening to, deserve credit for protecting the minds and hearts of their kids.

Frisby has some great advice for parents concerned about negative imagery in pop music.

"Ask your daughters and sons what songs they like to listen to and have conversations about how the songs might impact their identity," Frisby said.

"For example, many songs might make young girls feel like they have to look and act provocative in order to get a boy to like them, when that isn't necessarily the case. If children and teens understand that what they are hearing isn't healthy behavior, then they might be more likely to challenge what they hear on the radio."

This article originally appeared five years ago.

Jan Langer's incredible photos are timeless.

Czech photographer Jan Langer's portrait series "Faces of Century" shows them in a different light: as human beings aged by years of experience, but at their deepest level, unchanged by the passing of time. In the series, Langer juxtaposes his portraits with another portrait of the subject from decades earlier. He recreates the original pose and lighting as closely as he can — he wants us to see them not just as they are now, but how they have and haven't changed over time. That is the key to the series.

These are the rare faces of people who have lived through two world wars, a cavalcade of regimes, and the rush of advancements in modern life. These photos, and the stories of the lives lived by the people in them, show not only the beauty of aging, but how even as we age, we still remain essentially ourselves.


All photos by Jan Langer.


1. Prokop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101


aging, photos, older people with their younger selves, aging process, 100 years oldProkop Vejdělek, at age 22 and 101via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Vejdělek is a former metallurgical engineer who will never forget the taste of warm fresh goat's milk.


2. Bedřiška Köhlerová, at age 26 and 103



via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Originally born in Merano, Italy, Köhlerová wishes to visit Italy one more time.


3. Ludvík Chybík, at age 20 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Chybík is a former postal carrier and says he will never forget the route he worked every day.


4. Vincenc Jetelina, at age 30 and 105


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Jetelina spent eight years in prison after World War II. Now, he just wants to live the rest of his life in peace.


5. Antonín Kovář, at age 25 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Kovář is a former musician whose daughter comes to visit him every day. He wishes to play the clarinet once more.


6. Anna Vašinová, at age 22 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Vašinová will always remember the day her husband was taken away by the Nazis. She wishes to be reunited with him after death.

7. Stanislav Spáčil, at age 17 and 102


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Spáčil was an electrical engineer throughout his life and thinks that it's too early in his life to think about the past.


8. Anna Pochobradská, at age 30 and 100

via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Pochobradská was a farmer. She now lives a quiet life and is thankful that her daughter visits her every weekend.


9. Antonín Baldrman, at age 17 and 101


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Baldrman was a clerk early in life and keeps up with current events by reading the newspaper.


10. Marie Burešová, at age 23 and 101


via Jan Langer/Aktualne

Burešová loves talking to her family and wishes to have them all together again.


11. Vlasta Čížková, at age 23 and 101


aging, photos, older people with their younger selves, aging process, 100 years oldvia Jan Langer/Aktualne

Čížková cooked in the dining room at the airport in the small village of Vodochody. She'll never forget reciting her own poetry at wedding ceremonies.


12. Ludmila Vysloužilová, at age 23 and 101


aging, photos, older people with their younger selves, aging process, 100 years oldvia Jan Langer/Aktualne

Vysloužilová stays active every day by chopping wood, shoveling snow, and doing work around her house.


The photographer Langer was initially inspired to document the lives of elderly people because of what he saw as the media's lack of coverage of them. He decided to focus on people over the age of 100 — a very rare demographic indeed. The 2020 U.S. Census recorded 80,139 people aged 100 or older, a 50.2% increase from the 53,364 centenarians counted in 2010. As our aging population continues to increase, and technology evolves along with it, it's likely these incredibly photo essays will become far more common. But for now, they are an incredible reminder of how precious and valuable life is, sometimes especially when we reach our golden years.

“One should live every single moment according to their best knowledge and conscience because one day we will see clearly what has a real value," Langer says of what he learned from his subjects while photographing them.

The series was originally part of a story that Langer did for the Czech news outlet aktuálně.cz. You can see more photos from the portrait sessions by following the link.

This article originally appeared seven years ago.

Family

Forget "How's school going?" Try these questions instead to get shy teens talking.

If talking to your young relatives feels like pulling teeth, here are some questions that can help them open up.

Teens might seem uncomfortable at first, but you can help make them feel at ease.

Have you ever seen someone who seems to have a knack for talking with teens and wondered what their secret was? Sometimes it seems like getting young people to offer anything other than monosyllabic answers to questions is like pulling teeth. Maybe they're shy or self-conscious, or maybe the questions adults tend to ask aren't very effective at getting them to open up, but when you're gathering with family for the holidays and want to spend time getting to know your teenage relatives, it can be tough when the conversation feels awkward or forced.

Shyness is real and self-consciousness often comes with adolescence, so there's not a whole lot we can do about those things, but there are ways to engage young people that are more likely to result in a real conversation. When our "How's school going?" gets a "fine" or a "good," we know we need some better questions, but it's not always easy to think of those on the spot.

That's where some helpful guidance from Raising Teens Today comes in super handy.

woman talking with a teenMost teens actually like to talk if you ask the right questions.Photo credit: Canva

"Let me clue you in on a little secret... teenagers LOVE to talk," writes Nancy Reynolds, the mom behind the Raising Teens Today website. "Sounds crazy, right? I promise, you can get the quietest teen on the planet chatting simply by asking them questions that make them feel comfortable and want to share their world with you."

First, she offers some points to keep in mind as you chat with teens specifically:

- Steer clear of subjects that can put them on the defensive or make them feel awkward or inferior, including their grades, changing bodies, or whether they have a boyfriend or girlfriend, for instance.

- Keep it light. Don't get into heavy subjects. Teens have a lot on their shoulders already. Laugh a little. Have fun.

- Ask questions that will get them talking. Ask about their friends, things they love doing, books or sports or hobbies they love, their passions or dreams.

- Don't ask "loaded" questions such as, "You ARE going to college, right?'" Or, "Do you EVER look up from your phone?" Nothing will make a teenager clam up faster.

- Teenagers are young adults. Treat them as such. Show respect.

- Just be authentic. Teens can spot a fake from afar. If you're genuinely interested in their life and they sense you truly care, they'll open their heart... and when they do, it's such a gift.

The mom of three teens also gave some suggestions for what to ask in place of the standard questions we tend to use. An "ask this, not that" of talking to young people.

These questions go beyond the standard ones adults often ask or provide a twist on the classics that put young people at ease:

"What's the most interesting thing you've learned this year?"

"What do you enjoy doing with your friends?"

"It won't be long before you graduate. I'm so anxious to hear your plans!"

"I'd love to hear what you've been up to if you feel like chatting."

"What's your favorite thing to do when you're not in school?"

"What's the coolest thing you've seen online recently?"

"What's the one thing you're most looking forward to next year?"

i.giphy.com

Don't bombard them—it's not an interrogation–but try out a couple and see how they go. It's important to note that some kids might be flummoxed by questions that require them to choose "the one" or "the most" or "favorite," so you can always alter those kinds of questions to be more open-ended, like this:

"What's something you like to do when you're not in school?"

"What classes are you finding interesting or challenging?"

"Have you read or seen anything you really enjoyed lately?"

"What are you looking forward to after the holidays?"

You can also think about meeting kids and teens where they are by being curious about the reality of their lives—but in a way that isn't overly intrusive or judgmental. For instance, instead of only asking what their favorite subject is in school, ask what their least favorite subject is as well. That will almost surely get them talking. Instead of scoffing about them being on their phones, ask them what social media sites they like the most and why they prefer them to others. You can also ask them their opinions about things like whether they prefer reading paper or digital books, whether they prefer lectures or small group discussions, whether they feel like they learn better from listening, watching or doing. Questions like these don't make them feel like they're being quizzed or tested, because there aren't any right or wrong or even preferable answers.

If you do ask about a "favorite," make it something that they can easily choose a favorite from and something that can lead to further conversation. For instance, "Do you have a favorite teacher?" followed up by "What do you like about them and their class?" That can lead to a nice back and forth about what makes a teacher effective, what makes a class interesting or boring, and what your own experiences with good or bad teachers has been.

Another way to engage teens at your family gatherings is to ask them to help with something in the kitchen. Giving them something helpful to do takes the social spotlight off of them and creates more opportunity for small connections, making more meaningful conversations feel like the natural next step.

teens helping bake in the kitchenGetting them in the kitchen can help with conversations.Photo credit: Canva

People are appreciating the tips offered, as connecting with young people can be a challenge for many adults.

"Where were these questions when I was younger?? How different would the conversation been?"

"🫶🏽 It’s all in the wording! Connections are so important."

"I love this!!! It can be a lot of work getting your teen to go to an adult gathering. It’s never helpful when they get there and end up feeling either judged or completely ignored. It only isolates them further when what they need more than anything is connection with adults."

"Thank you for this. My father will ask my 14 year old what she wants to do for college and I can see the anxiety build up in her. How about what do you like to do in your spare time? What are you proud of? What are you interested in?"

"I’m a grandparent and this is just what I was looking for to open a positive interaction during family events. Thanks again!! 🙌"

It's definitely worth trying some of these out over the holidays.

You can follow Raising Teens Today on Facebook, Instagram and raisingteenstoday.com.

Throughout human history, older people always complain that the younger generation lacks the common sense and life skills they learned growing up. Then, when the younger generation gets older they judge the one that came after them.

It's a dance that's been happening for centuries. However, this time the old folks may be right.

Studies show that younger Americans are incredibly tech-savvy and great at academics but aren't quite up to snuff when it comes to basic life skills. Studies show they are much more likely to order take out than to cook for themselves.


They also don't know how to check their tire pressure, sew, make basic home repairs or drive a manual transmission.

So they're stuck having to pay people to perform basic tasks that they should have learned at some point in their first twenty-some-odd years on Earth.

Parenting coach Oona Hanson and her husband Paul, have decided to reverse this trend in their family by sending their two children, daughter, Gwendolyn, 17, and son, Harris, 12, to Camp Common Sense.

Due to social distancing, the camp has two campers, two counselors and takes place in the Hanson's home.

The camp has eight themed weeks that include kitchen confidence, anti-racism, DIY, laundry and cleaning, safety and emergency preparedness, personal finance, city savvy, and social skills.

Oona says she teaches the topics to her kids through a mixture of "direct instruction, independent research, and hands-on practice." They also watch movies that support to the themes to further drive home the message.

The family uses Catherine Newman's book "How to Be a Person: 65 Hugely Useful, Super-Important Skills to Learn Before You've Grown Up" as a basic camp manual.

via Debbie Fong / Twitter

"I chose to use this book as a guideline because it's written and illustrated with charm and joy and infused with humor and empathy," Oona told Today. "It's not an adult talking down to kids; it's an adult inviting kids into the world and explaining how you function in daily life."

The Hansons saw quarantine as the perfect time to teach their kids the skills they always planned to "someday."

"It always seems like we're going to get around to teaching them these things 'someday,'" she said. "There's that fantasy that before they go to college, they're going to learn these thousand skills that actually take time to learn and practice. Right now, we have the time it never seems we have to do it."

Camp days aren't all work and no play though. The kids still get time for physical activity, arts and crafts, and a little screen time.

The Hansons hope the lessons they teach now will pay dividends over the long haul.

"I'm OK if the kids are rolling their eyes at us now if later they can look back and say, 'I'm so glad I know how to make pancakes for 12 people.' That will bring so much joy and connection," Oona said.