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How to be an ally to someone dealing with PTSD

An estimated 8 percent of the population will experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in their lifetime.

Helping those affected by PTSD.

Up to 8% of the American population will experience post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) in their lifetime, according to the National Center for PTSD.

As much as people might not want to discuss it, traumatic experiences are not rare. In fact, recent data suggests that 60% of men and 50% of women will experience at least one traumatic event in their lifetime.


For a long time, it was believed that only those who had served in the military could develop PTSD, but that's simply not true.

The reality is that, while it may be more prevalent among certain groups,PTSD can affect anyone who's experienced a traumatic event. It's important to be able to speak about it clearly and openly, without fear or condemnation, in order to promote understanding and healing.

Virtual Reality, therapy, reliving trauma

Cognitive behavioral therapy is one piece of the puzzle.

Photo by Lucrezia Carnelos on Unsplash

Today, more treatments exist for PTSD than ever before.

The medical and psychological communities are finding new and effective ways of treating the disorder. For example, therapies involving virtual reality and paintball have shown to be promising in treating veterans. Both are methods where an individual is exposed to the triggers of their symptoms in a safe and controllable way.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (where one learns to think more realistically and logically) and eye movement desensitization reprocessing (in which an individual relives the traumatic experience in small doses and while remaining firmly in reality) can also be effective in treating the disorder. But therapy, no matter how effective, is only one piece of the puzzle.

Helping those with PTSD must also include compassion. Here's how to be an ally.

It's likely that you know someone who's experienced PTSD. It's also likely that you didn't know how to think or react to the disorder.

Confusion (and even judgment) are normal responses. After all, most of us aren't trained therapists. But you don't have to be a mental health professional to help a friend or loved one who's experiencing PTSD.

There's no one right thing to say to someone who's experiencing the disorder. The best thing you can do is just be there. While it may seem helpful to offer wisdom or offer suggestions for how your loved ones can "move on" or "get over it," that's actually counter-intuitive.

Friendship, respecting boundaries, PTSD

Helpful therapy is important.

Photo by Omar Lopez on Unsplash

Those living with PTSD are already under a great deal of pressure. Suggesting therapy is helpful, but trying to make your loved one see "the good side of things" or "remember that this is all part of a bigger plan" is likely to create even more guilt and stress rather than prompt action. PTSD is painful and it's serious, but it's never a sign of weakness.

Respecting boundaries is also important. It's up to the individual when they choose to talk about their trauma. Nobody should force it or take it personally if they don't.

Show up, listen, care. These things are enough. More importantly, they're important steps toward ending stigma and helping our loved ones heal.

This article originally appeared on 06.27.18

This article originally appeared on 07.05.18.


Some of us can't wait for the summer sun to go down so we can set off fireworks.

But for others, the loud sounds and bright lights can be a problem.

If you've ever been to a fireworks show, you know that they can be spectacular. They can also be really overwhelming, especially for those who live with anxiety and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).


Vince Bryant, a veteran living in Texas, told ABC News that the sounds of the fireworks are so much for him that he puts on headphones and locks himself in a closet when they start.

"It sends me right back to Iraq. Automatically it puts me in a situation like we fighting," Bryant said.

And those with PTSD aren't the only ones affected by bright, noisy light shows.

Cats and dogs are often terrified by what's going on. And fireworks are not particularly great for some environments — especially those susceptible to wildfires. Even when fire isn't an issue, environmental concerns remain. Fireworks contribute to pollution, and in some cases, the smog they create can last several days.

Once a spent firework has reached the ground, it can hurt in other ways. The residue that fireworks leave behind often ends up in lakes or rivers, and that can lead to health problems in humans.

Fortunately, technology has come a long way, and fireworks are only one way to celebrate summer holidays.

For one, fireworks distributors often sell silent fireworks. And communities are starting to celebrate with large-scale productions that aim to include everyone while keeping tensions, and pollutants, low.

At Travis Air Base in Northern California, traditional fireworks were replaced with 500 perfectly synchronized drones.

The drones fly in colorful formations without booms or whistles, allowing everyone to enjoy the beautiful light show without having to worry that a giant bomb is going off somewhere.

Other areas like Aspen, Colorado, where wildlife could be hurt by the fallout from fireworks, have ordered drone shows as an environmentally friendly display.

Here's what some of the drone shows look like:

And there's something even cooler on the horizon: Fireworks you can feel.

Disney (of course it's Disney) is working on fireworks displays that aren't just cool to look at but inclusive for all — including those without sight.

These fireworks allow those who are visually or hearing impaired to touch the magic without being burned (or even getting their shirts singed a little bit — something that will definitely happen if you, like me, chose to light six sparkers at once just to see what would happen).

In order to make the viewer feel the explosion, jets of water are shot onto the back of a flexible screen as light plays on the front. The person watching puts their hand on the screen and can enjoy the show in real time. Pretty cool, right?

Bottom line: A more inclusive fourth is awesome for everyone.

There's nothing exactly like the thrill of setting off a firework in the middle of the street and running as fast and far as you can before it goes off in a shower of sparks and shrieking whistles. But that's just not fun — or even doable — for everyone.

More options means more ways for friends, families, and loved ones to enjoy holiday light shows together. And after unlimited hot dogs and an entire day off, that's the best thing of all.

"Why is Dad So Mad"
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Verizon

Army veteran Seth Kastle had everything going for him when he came home from serving 16 years overseas. That's why it was so confusing to him when his life began to fall apart.

He had a job, a loving wife, family, and friends. He knew things would be different when he moved back to Kansas, but he didn't think they'd be that different. But he felt an extreme anger building up inside, a fire inside his chest that he couldn't explain or get rid of.

Kastle was unknowingly suffering from Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), an anxiety disorder that can develop after experiencing or witnessing a traumatic event — like war.


"I waited until it was too late," he said. "I didn't even know what PTSD was."

Seth Kastle on the far right. Image courtesy of Seth Kastle.

Kastle struggled for years without getting help, pushing away his loved ones — including his wife. There were outbursts at work. He was drinking too much. It all started to add up.

"There have been a thousand times looking back where my wife should have left me," he said.

Image courtesy of Seth Kastle.

Kastle and his wife stuck it out, though, and Kastle began to find ways to get through his battle.

He tried going to VA group therapy, but because of the time slots he could attend, the groups were all full of Vietnam veterans who were 30 years ahead of Kastle in their reintegration process. It wasn't the most helpful for his current state of mind. Eventually, he was able to find a therapy resource that worked, and it helped him get back on his feet and keep his marriage and life intact.

Single dad asks his daughters for fashion advice before a date and strangers on social media responded with some helpful suggestions.

But he still wasn't sure how to talk about what was going on, especially with his little girl.

PTSD resources to help you broach the topic with kids were lacking online. So, one day, Kastle came home from a bad day at work, sat down, and wrote a story about his experience with PTSD in 30 minutes. Then, he filed it away on his computer, not intending to ever see it again.

It wasn't until a close friend and fellow veteran published a book that Kastle was inspired to keep going with his own story.

Image courtesy of Seth Kastle.

Kastle created the children's book titled "Why Is Dad So Mad?" to help explain to his six-year-old daughter his struggles with PTSD. And when it was published, he read it to his daughter for the first time.

"There's a section in the book where I describe the anger and things associated with PTSD as a fire inside my chest," he said. "After I first read the book to my daughter, I remember her saying, 'I'm sorry you have a fire in your chest now, Dad.'"

"She was four at the time. That's something I'm always going to remember."

Image courtesy of Seth Kastle.

His daughter isn't the only one putting the pieces together from the book. Kastle receives frequent emails from appreciative parents trying to explain PTSD to their own children. And that gives Kastle all sorts of feelings, mainly because he never intended for his words to be for anyone but his own kids.

Image courtesy of NBC News.

"Why Is Dad So Mad?" has been such a success that he decided to co-write another version with his wife, who is also a veteran, called "Why Is Mom So Mad?"

Kastle hopes to help break the taboo on PTSD and start conversations about it with loved ones.

"There's a stigma associated with PTSD, and a lot of it is the warrior culture and masculinity that you need to be able to handle this," he said. "And if you can't, it's because you're weak."

But that's not true, and Kastle said if our military members have more resources to help talk about PTSD, reintegration back into home life could be a lot easier.

We need to fundamentally reexamine how new moms are cared for after childbirth.

According to the PTSD Foundation of America, one in three troops returning home are getting diagnosed with symptoms of PTSD, but less than 40 percent will ultimately seek help.

The stigma, shame, and discrimination around mental health issues is damaging for those who face symptoms as well as those who are close to them. We all play a role in tackling outdated views on mental health, and we can help shift attitudes by educating ourselves, listening more, and showing support to those who need it.

Kastle admits that it was extremely hard to walk into the clinic that first time, but seeking out that resource ultimately changed his life. More support and resources for our vets will create more success stories like his.

Image courtesy of Seth Kastle.

"I can easily admit that every piece of my life is better now that I took that step," he said.

And, now, the man who didn't even know what PTSD was is using his voice to educate a younger generation on it. That's how you chip away at a taboo.

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Eagle Rare Life Award

Lon Hodge has a lot in common with his dog, Gander. They're both from Colorado. They share the same birthday. But it's how they differ that makes their relationship special.

Hodge is a veteran living with injuries that he sustained in the line of duty and a severe case of PTSD. Gander is a service dog who was specifically trained to assist people with such disabilities. And while all service animals are equipped with unique qualifications, from the moment Hodge met Gander, he felt there was something truly uncommon about his abilities.

"He’s just an extraordinary creature," says Hodge. "He misses nothing."


Gander the dog. All photos via Lon Hodge. Used with permission.

Gander seems to have a sixth sense about knowing exactly when and how someone needs his help. He’s done it with people who’ve been diagnosed with illnesses like diabetes and terminal cancer. He once came up to a Navy Seal who was dealing with panic attacks and offered support by leaning against him. The man broke down crying saying he'd recently lost his dog.

It's no surprise that his fans often remark, "Gander knows" when hearing about his encounters.

This almost uncanny ability to read people is also ultimately how Gander came to save his owner's life.

Hodge and his service dog, Gander.

Hodge served in the military medical corp from 1973 through 1981. He remained stateside, but sustained several injuries during his stint as an officer at a munitions plant. While not life-threatening, the experience contributed to inner emotional turmoil that began to seethe in the few years following his end of service.

Suddenly, a culmination of stressful life moments like starting a new job as director of a rehab hospital, and the death of his mother, resulted in the wheels coming off the cart, so to speak. Everything just came crashing to halt.

"I went from 60 to zero," recalls Hodge. "I couldn’t leave the house for several months."

At the same time, as a result of his ever present anxiety, his resting heart rate speed up to 120 beats per minute. His doctors prescribed him a number of medications, but they just put him in a fog.

He knew that he needed to find a better way to manage his symptoms. Then, as fate would have it, he happened to catch a TV special about the benefits of service dogs for veterans. So he reached out to Freedom Service Dogs, a Denver-based nonprofit that trains rescue dogs to work with veterans as well as other disabled people. Seven months later, he was matched with a soulful-eyed Labradoodle named Gander.

[rebelmouse-image 19347012 dam="1" original_size="881x881" caption="Lon and Gander were recognized as the 2018 Eagle Rare Life category winner for Survival." expand=1]Lon and Gander were recognized as the 2018 Eagle Rare Life category winner for Survival.

From the moment they met, Hodge knew it was the beginning of a beautiful, life-changing friendship.

However, even though they bonded almost instantly, their relationship wasn't without growing pains.

Not only was he now charged with taking care of someone besides himself, Gander forced Hodge to get out in the world and be with people — something he'd avoided doing for nearly a year.

"Gander's a really cute dog, so everyone wanted to interact with him," recalls Hodge. "I was like, 'Oh my god, what have I done to myself.”

Suddenly he was fielding all these questions from people about Gander, and in turn, about himself. Since a service dog is meant to stay by you at all times, it's really impossible to distance yourself from the reason why you have one. While this was initially quite difficult for Hodge, it forced him to regularly confront his social anxiety, and slowly but surely it began to dissipate.

Gander comforting Hodge.

His heart rate also dropped down to a normal 80 bpm, and the suicidal thoughts he'd been having shrank away.

"If I’m really anxious, he’ll put his feet up on my chest, or he’ll lick my hand, or he’s taught to lean against me, and if someone comes to me too quickly, he’ll stand up and get between us," explains Hodge.

While they're small actions, it's Gander's incredible intuitiveness about when to employ them that makes the difference.

It was impossible for Hodge to ignore the effect Gander has on just about everyone he meets. He wanted to find ways to share that magic with more people who truly needed it.

So Hodge created Facebook and Twitter accounts for Gander where he shares messages of awareness for PTSD, veteran suicide, and other invisible injuries. Unsurprisingly, the pages quickly gained massive followings.

Around the same time, Hodge and Gander also started traveling around the country, speaking on behalf of veterans at various conferences.

In 2014, Gander won the AKC Humane Fund Award for Canine Excellence in the service dog category.

Since then, the pair have continued to spread awareness and hope to veterans. Hodge regularly calls for Planned Acts of Community Kindness (PACKs) on Ganders' Facebook page. These are just little things people can do to help out members who are struggling with something. For example, when Marine Corps Lance Corporal Dylan Bogue lost his dog, Hodge posted his request for help, and within a month, the two were reunited.

This past year, they've also performed 365 Taps at cemeteries all over the country in honor of service men and women who died by suicide. At each ceremony, Hodge reads 22 names of veterans in order to call attention to the fact that 22 veterans take their lives everyday, and give loved ones a sense of closure.

Helping people in turn helps Hodge continue to recover from his own PTSD. But he knows that he couldn't have gotten here without his canine companion.

That said, he wants people to know that a service dog is a major commitment. He's not just a friend — he's a mental and physical health support system.

"This dog is medical equipment, this dog is your lifeline, this dog is everything," says Hodge.

If you think you might need one, do your research first to make sure you qualify. Hodge is also happy to answer questions about his experience with Gander.

Even though you can't see it, PTSD is a real illness, and requires treatment. Sometimes the best medicine just comes with four legs and fur.