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Waxers, nurses, and doctors share their unfiltered inner thoughts about your 'privates.'

They're professionals, but they're also human beings.

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There's no need to feel self conscious.

Look, let's just get it out there: It's uncomfortable any time you have to get fully or partially naked for a medical exam or cosmetic procedure. Right? It's natural and part of the process, but while you know that the person on the other end is a professional who's just there to do their job, they're also a human being. Getting naked in front of them in any other context would be extremely weird, and it's hard to completely shut that part of your brain off no matter the setting.

It's amazing how body dysmorphia really knows no bounds. We tend to think of insecurities as focusing on things like the flatness of our stomachs or the size of our noses. But perhaps the thing that people are most self-conscious about is the thing we actually talk about the least.

According to one study, about 30% of men are "dissatisfied" with the size, shape, or appearance of their penis. That number is even higher when it comes to how women feel about their vaginas. A survey done by Refinery29 showed that almost half of women had "concerns" about the appearance of their vulva.

The numbers say anywhere from a third to a half or more of all people think there's something wrong with the way our private parts look. Which begs the question: If we all think we're weird, is anybody really weird at all?

A fascinating Reddit thread recently polled experts on this very topic—people who tend to see an awful lot of genitals in their line of work: Waxing technicians or estheticians. The responses were oddly inspiring.

 waxing, brazilian wax, body image, body positivity, medical care, embarrassment, cosmetics, askreddit Steve Carrell gets waxed in "The 40-Year-Old Virgin"  Giphy  

The prompt asked, "Waxers, how often are you surprised by how a clients genitals look?"

Professional waxers chimed in with their stories and observations. As did doctors, nurses, pelvic floor therapists, urologists, and lots of other pros who work closely with people's unmentionables.

Here are a few of the best responses:

 waxing, brazilian wax, body image, body positivity, medical care, embarrassment, cosmetics, askreddit Doctors and cosmetic professionals have literally seen it all. Laura Woolf/Flickr 

"Gonna chime in as a doctor - and I would imagine it’s the same for professional waxers. WE. DONT. CARE. And in my case I would be surprised if you’d show me something I’ve never seen before." - feelgoodx

"I use to be very self conscious and insecure about my genitals. I honestly thought I had a weird vagina. But working in this industry has taught me that every one is a snowflake. I’ve seen it all and nothing surprises me. Just clean yourself before coming in." - Wild-Clementine

Not a waxer but I am a labor and delivery nurse. I see a vulva every single day I work, often multiple, and frequently about 3 feet from my face with a spotlight on it lol. Not much surprises me. Most are out of my memory by the time they're clothed or covered up. When it comes to genitals you want to be unremarkable." - tlotd

"Very, very rarely. Shaved, not shaved, lots o’ labia, no labia, etc—it’s all the same to me. I’m just here to work." - Important-Tackle

"never. i have seen it all. scars, hyperpigmentation, unevenness; none of it surprises me. just please wash yourself before coming to me." - pastelmorning

  - YouTube  www.youtube.com  

"Nothing surprises me, I'm mostly just focusing on the hair, but i do have a client who has a tuft of hair on the underside of his shaft near the tip of his penis we call his downstairs soul patch." - noorisms

Two big takeaways:

First, outside of obvious mutilations or pathologies, nothing stands out to people who are extremely knowledgeable about genitals. Differences in size, shape, and structure are totally normal and barely even register on the radar!

Second, no matter what you look like down there, good hygiene is always appreciated. A solid tip that extends far beyond the borders of the esthetician's office!

Being embarrassed, self-conscious, or even ashamed of the way your parts look doesn't seem like a big deal, but it can be.


 waxing, brazilian wax, body image, body positivity, medical care, embarrassment, cosmetics, askreddit Embarrassment about the nether regions is normal, but it can be harmful if not checked.  Photo by charlesdeluvio on Unsplash  

It's bizarre and tragic that unrealistic beauty standards actually effect the way we perceive our own nether regions. Pornography, media, and inconsiderate past partners all play a role in people developing anxiety about the way their genitals look.

Both men and women can have their sex lives negatively impacted by bad self-image and anxiety over the way they look naked. When the shame is really bad, it can hold them back in relationships, or even stop them from seeking them in the first place.

This shame or embarrassment also unfortunately extends into the medical arena, as well.

Fear of being judged or humiliated can stop women in particular from not just going in for a wax, but from going to the gynecologist, getting breast exams, or asking potentially-embarrassing but critical and life-saving health questions. For their part, men are prone to skipping prostate exams, testicular exams, or conversations about potentially embarrassing topics like erectile dysfunction or bladder problems. None of these things are fun or comfortable, but they're critical for our health!

Experts say sharing your vulnerability with your doctor or cosmetic professional can help. Letting them know you're nervous or embarrassment can signal them to offer you comfort measures. It also helps to be really direct and detailed with what you want or what you want to discuss.

According to Cedars Sinai, "Does sex hurt? Tell your doctor exactly where you feel the pain. Notice that your poop stinks? Try to describe the odor in detail." If you're too embarrassed to talk about it, try writing it down. At some point though, you'll have to get the exam. Just get through it, it gets easier once you build a relationship with your doctor (or waxer!) over time.

If you've ever been a little self-conscious, take it from the experts, from the people who have seen hundreds if not thousands of genitals up close and personal, in the most unflattering lighting and from the worst angles possible: You're totally normal!

This article was originally published last year. It has been updated.

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Viral stories show how 'fatphobia' has life-and-death consequences— even for babies and kids

Dadmin/Facebook, Evette Dionne/Twitter

Many people who carry extra weight on their bodies have stories to tell about problematic medical care. Maybe a medical issue was overlooked because of their weight. Perhaps a doctor prescribed losing weight as a solution to an issue that had nothing to do with being fat.

In our society, fat is looked upon as a health hazard at best and a character flaw at worst. While evidence does point to obesity being a health risk factor, judgments about other people's extra pounds go far beyond concerns over health. Companies make billions of dollars off of perpetuating society's obsession with thinness, from diet pills to weight loss programs to plastic surgery, and fat jokes seem to be the final frontier of socially acceptable cruelty and marginalization.

This obsession with the size of people's bodies has consequences. People have no problem sounding off about health problems associated with obesity, but rarely do we hear people preach about about health consequences of the fear of obesity. Anorexia and bulimia come to mind, but there are also more nuanced tales of people facing medical neglect and abuse from others due to a pervasive fear of fatness. We're talking about illness and death in babies and children, all because of fatphobia.

RELATED: These 3 stories show how we're subconsciously teaching children to be fatphobic.

In a post on Facebook shared by Dadmin, a series of screenshots of Reddit stories illustrating how fatphobia can lead to dire health problems. Sometimes those problems are even exacerbated by healthcare workers themselves.

One person told the story of a substitute at a daycare where she worked questioning why a large baby needed to take a bottle. A coworker replied, "That's where all her nutrients are. She needs the nutrients and the water." The substitute replied, "But she's so fat. She doesn't need it." All babies need to eat regularly, and all babies's bodies are different. (For example, my own babies were super roly-poly, and all they had was breastmilk their first 10 months or so. My best friend's baby, also exclusively breastfeed, ate far more frequently than mine and was super skinny.)

As the poster pointed out, "Thin privilege is a small, pretty baby getting better childcare because the caretaker doesn't think she's too fat to be allowed to eat."

Dadmin/Facebook

Another person wrote about their cousin who had her kids taken away because she was starving her baby. Worried about her infant becoming "too fat," she only fed her one bottle of skim milk a day. "I don't want her growing up fat," she said. Even after having her kids removed for medical neglect, she still maintained that the doctors were wrong and she was right. According to the post, she said, "They just want fat kids so they can keep employed treating them for all those diseases that being fat causes."

Dadmin/Facebook

Other people chimed in with similar stories of babies being starved or evaluated as overweight.

"A parent brought in their six month old baby who was having breathing issues and kept getting sick," one person wrote. "The parent was asked if the baby was eating regularly and the parents straight up told the doctor that they only feed the baby once a day...They even had the nerve to say because they didn't want the baby to get fat. People like this are real. They would rather have a dead baby than a fat one."

Another shared the story of their exclusively breastfed 10-month-old being in the 99th percentile and the nurse saying, "He is at risk for obesity. You may want to keep an eye on that." She said later on, this same child measured off the charts but the doctor said at least he was in proportion. Because they can't control their "weight talk," which research shows is potentially harmful to children, this mother said she no longer allows doctors to weigh her kids unless it's medically necessary. (And it sometimes is. Medication dosages are often determined by height and weight, for example.)

Dadmin/Facebook

Another person wrote about how her mother had her dieting with her from the time she was 11, worried she was going to "get huge." She fed her less than 600 calories per day and grounded her when she found out her friends were bringing her lunches. She ended up in the ER and has struggled since with anorexia. "Please don't starve your fucking children," she wrote.

RELATED: A viral and heartbreaking hashtag proves body-shaming starts early for women.

As another user wrote, "Fatphobia is real and it kills."

Dadmin/Facebook

Sometimes healthcare providers think every health issue is weight-related, which can result in misdiagnosis.

One person shared a story of a college friend who had been having trouble breathing. The doctor told her to lose weight. Time and again over several years, she returned to the doctor with the same breathing problem, telling them she was dieting but couldn't exercise because of the breathing issue. It turned out she had a tumor on her lungs that wasn't caught. She died at age 25, three months after it was finally diagnosed.

Dadmin/Facebook

Yet another user shared a story of her little sister feeling fatigued and dizzy, getting nauseated at the sight of food, and suffering from abdominal pain at nine years old. The ER doctor dismissed it saying she was fat and probably just ate too many burgers. Her mom questioned the diagnosis and took her to another doctor who also told her that the girl was "just fat."

The pain got worse, the girl's skin began to yellow. A third ER visit revealed she had life-threatening hepatitis, which took a year to recover from. "If it weren't for my mother, fatphobia would have killed her," the person wrote.

Dadmin/Facebook

Clearly, some of these stories are extreme, and one must take Reddit stories with a grain of skepticism. But stories like this abound across social media.

 

And there is more than just anecdotal evidence that prejudice against fat people can cause real medical harm.

A 2015 Lancet study found that doctors take less time with obese patients and are more reluctant to screen them for other health issues. It also found that healthcare workers tend to stereotype obese people as less likely to follow medical advice and stick to medications.

A 2017 review of research from the American Psychological Association also found that medical discrimination based on people's size is a real issue, and obese patients are more likely to have undiagnosed medical issues:

"In one study of over 300 autopsy reports, obese patients were 1.65 times more likely than others to have significant undiagnosed medical conditions (e.g., endocarditis, ischemic bowel disease or lung carcinoma), indicating misdiagnosis or inadequate access to health care."

When societal judgments on weight start affecting people's medical care, we have a problem. And it can't only be fat people battling the issue—it's up to all of us to fight size bias and tackle the myriad messages we see every day that fat people are less than.

Dadmin/Facebook

As one Reddit user said, "I'd really like my thin followers to reblog this if you can. Fat people are already here for each other. We need you guys to help us out too. This is something I never see anyone actually talking about in-depth, and it's disappointing."

Let's talk about it now, and do what we can to eliminate fatphobia before it does more harm than it already has.

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When one Houston doctor couldn't get to his hospital, he jumped in a canoe.

When Houston doctor Stephen Kimmel was called in to Clear Lake Regional Medical Center for an emergency surgery Tuesday, he quickly realized he'd have to improvise.

Though his own house was flooding, the pediatric general surgeon raced toward the hospital, mindful that his teenage patient, Jacob Terrazas, could suffer permanent damage if his testicular condition wasn't treated immediately.

When a flooded highway prevented Kimmel's car from going any farther, he joined forces with two volunteer firefighters, armed with a secret weapon: a canoe.

The group paddled down what was, just one week earlier, a crowded highway, and dropped off Kimmel roughly a mile from the hospital. He walked the rest of the way through water that swelled to his waist.

Kimmel with Terrazas and family after the surgery. Photo by Clear Lake Regional Medical Center.

"Sometimes you have to do whatever it takes," Kimmel said in a press release. "This young man’s life would have been changed for the worse forever if we hadn’t been able to perform surgery when we did. In the end, it all turned out very well."

The catastrophic early days of Hurricane Harvey have seen dozens of stories of volunteers from Houston and beyond going to extraordinary lengths to assist their neighbors.

On Monday, over 100 members of the "Cajun Navy," a Louisiana-based group of volunteer rescuers, descended on the city and ferried residents to safety in personal watercraft.

Photo by Scott Olson/Getty Images.

That same day, a group of Houstonians formed a human chain to rescue a neighbor in labor.

Thanks to Kimmel's long, damp slog, Terrazas' surgery was a success. The 16-year-old is expected to be released from the hospital soon.  

"This has been a long night, but this place is wonderful," Terrazas' mother, Yesenia, said of the hospital and its staff.

She and her son will soon be on their way home with good news. All thanks to one doctor, two seafaring firefighters, and their determination to get the job done.

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Trans people react to the opening of a new clinic for trans kids and teens.

Life-saving and life-changing health care.

A new clinic geared toward St. Louis transgender teens hopes to be a sort of one-stop shop for supporting trans youth.

After opening the first week of August, St. Louis' Transgender Center of Excellence is already booked through mid-September. It's one location complete with mental health, hormones, and other essential services, and it's getting rave reviews from patients already.

"Having support and acceptance is extremely important for this patient population," Dr. Christopher Lewis, physician and founder of the clinic, told WGN News. "Transgender patients already deal with harassment and discrimination within the medical community and that is a barrier to them accessing care."

A supportive medical environment is a big win for trans kids — take it from others, like myself, who wish those resources existed when we were growing up.

On Twitter, I reached out to my trans followers to find out what this type of clinic would have meant to them when they were younger. A few common themes emerged.

For many, it would have meant help and support for themselves and their parents.

Others remarked on how a supportive environment would have encouraged them to stop hiding, sidestepping some traumatic early-life experiences.

It would have provided a sense of identity for those who felt alone and isolated, who never saw accurate reflections of themselves in the media.

Then, the emails started rolling in. "If I'd had the words, if I'd known the concepts, if I had a supportive and professional environment to turn to. I would have been able to live without a dysphoria that came close to killing me, repeatedly," writes Alvhild Sand, a trans woman from Norway, about what a difference a resource like this would have made for her.

"It would have been fantastic if such a place had existed," writes Gwyn Ciesla, another trans woman, who grew up in a "highly Catholic town in the 1980s" where she was "not exposed to LGBTQ ideas or openly LGBTQ people."

"The only tools available were in the context of education, religion, and mental health, and were ineffective because they were incomplete," Ciesla explains. "If I had known then what I know now, and a clinic like this had been available, it would have been life-changing."

"Given what I did and didn't know at the time, I might not have been able to get to the point where I could take advantage of the clinic's services," Ciesla admits, expressing hope that "the presence of the clinic might have at least increased the information available to me and helped me to understand and begin to accept myself years earlier."

"I only survived my youth by a narrow margin, and I think this clinic might have widened that margin a lot. I hope this clinic can do that for youth now and in the future."

The new clinic in St. Louis joins a handful of other trans-specific children's medical programs across the country.

One of the most notable is the gender development services at Lurie Children's Hospital in Chicago. The sad fact is that even though the Affordable Care Act effectively banned discriminating against people on the basis of their gender identity, many trans people continue to face either discrimination or confusion from their health care providers.

According to the National Center for Transgender Equality's 2015 U.S. Transgender Survey, 33% of trans people who saw a health care provider in the previous year had at least one negative experience, were denied care, or had to actually teach their provider about trans patients. In other words, there's a lot of work to be done, and taking steps to ensure trans people have competent, knowledgeable medical care is a work in progress.

The new clinic in St. Louis is a big step in the right direction, providing care and benefits for years to come.

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