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“A balm for the soul”
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GOOD PEOPLE Book
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The internet is a truly wonderful place*. Aside from allowing us to order food and other perishable/non-perishable goods without speaking to anyone, it also allows us to connect with people we never thought possible. Like two old, fat lesbians who smoke weed all the time. Did you think you were going to find out about them today? Well, guess what: It's happening. It's happening RTFN.

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Sugar Babe


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Sue and Lee are retired and reside in a house with an inflatable hot tub in Maine. I did not know they existed before, but an interview in The Cut brought them rip-roaring into my life, and now, like the interview's author, there is no one I would rather be when I grow up.

Sue and Lee, of course, never meant to be viral sensations. Together for 12 years and married for four, the pair just wanted something fun to do. So they started a social media project.

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Gravity Bong #thestaplesingers #illtakeyouthere

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In their videos, they smoke weed in front of  a lovingly placed woodcut that appropriately reads "inspire" in their home; they smoke weed while they pour sugar all over a calendar (it makes sense if you know the song they're parodying); they smoke weed out of off-brand barbies. Recently, they filmed a video of themselves singing "Like a Virgin" while holding hands in bed. These videos are so silly, so unflinchingly and honestly cheesy, so mundane**.  

"We didn’t plan on being part of a movement. We just are fat, and old, and gay," Lee says in the couple's interview with The Cut.  That's also exactly what makes them so incredibly important.

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Mermaids and Flamingos Volume 2

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Let me tell you a quick story: I knew I was gay really, really early in life. But I also knew that people thought being gay — even in San Francisco, where I live — was wrong. It's a message I got from everywhere — from the media, which primarily played homosexuality for shock value in the '90s, to my parents, who had bought into these negative stereotypes. They would bundle us all into the car when visitors came to town and take us down Castro street where we could gawk at the homosexuals openly holding hands.

It was especially sad for me. I'd sit in the back of that car and hope that maybe this whole "gay thing" was just a phase. And when it wasn't, I worried about being one of those old gay dudes in The Castro. I didn't have any role models to show me that you could be gay, old, and happy. Even though I eventually figured it out, I know that I would have loved to have a Sue and Lee to show me that life could be fucking awesome at all stages, body types, and sexual orientations.

"We’re hoping that people see us as just normal, everyday people. We’re trying to tell people not to hate gays, or fat people, or old people," Sue says in the interview.

You keep rocking on, ladies. Let's spread their message far and wide.

*It is also dark and full of terrors, but we are not speaking about that today.

**Take note, Met Gala attendees: This is what camp is!

Sarah Paulson was a standout at the 2016 Emmys.

Her roles in "American Horror Story" and "The People v. O.J. Simpson" had fans and critics alike rooting for the actress long before she even hit the red carpet.

Photo by Frazer Harrison/Getty Images.


She ended up snagging Outstanding Lead Actress in a Limited Series for her role in the Simpson crime anthology.

As she stood on stage, Paulson publicly apologized to the real life person she portrayed on screen, Marcia Clark — the head prosecutor in the O.J. Simpson murder trial.

"The more I learned about the real Marcia Clark, not the two-dimensional cardboard cutout I saw on the news, but the complicated, whip-smart, giant-hearted mother of two, who woke up every day, put both feet on the floor and dedicated herself to righting an unconscionable wrong," Paulson said in her speech. "The more I had to recognize that I, along with the rest of the world, had been superficial and careless in my judgment."

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

The apology made waves across the internet for days.

But it was a different, less reported line in Paulson's speech that the actress said she was unsure about: Should she thank her girlfriend?

"Holland Taylor," she said, concluding her speech by addressing her partner. "I love you."

It was just one sentence, but it made a difference.

In a recent interview with The Guardian, Paulson opened up about the double standard in straight relationships and queer ones when it comes to public affection and visibility in Hollywood, and why she wouldn't let it deter her from living honestly (emphasis added):

"In terms of my speech, I wanted to say I love you to the person I love. Everyone else does it, so should I not do it because the person I love is a woman? And so I thought, you know what? I’m just gonna do it. I wasn’t worried over it. It was a flashing thought — ‘should I do it?’ And I thought to myself, ‘The fact that I am having this thought is wrong in the first place.’ The idea that I would have to take a moment before I say this to consider what impact it might have that could be negative is an asinine thing to engage with mentally, and I refuse to do it. So I just said what I wanted to say."

Photo by Neilson Barnard/Getty Images.

Paulson's win was celebrated as one of several big moments for LGBTQ women at the Emmys this year.

Openly queer Jill Soloway, the creator of "Transparent," won Best Directing for a Comedy Series — "Topple the patriarchy!" she yelled gleefully from the stage during her speech — while "Saturday Night Live" star Kate McKinnon, the series' first openly lesbian cast member, snagged Outstanding Supporting Actress in a Comedy Series. Laverne Cox, who became the first transgender artist to be nominated in an acting category last year, also presented the award for Outstanding Directing for a Variety Special.

"Thank you, Ellen DeGeneres, thank you, Hillary Clinton," McKinnon said as a nod to two big names she's impersonated (flawlessly) on her rise to stardom, as the audience laughed.

Photo by Kevin Winter/Getty Images.

Don't let the 2016 Emmys fool you, though. TV still has a ways to go before LGBTQ actors and characters are depicted fairly on screen.

Although progress has been made, there's still not enough quality representation in primetime programming — especially for transgender characters, women, and people of color, as the 2015 GLAAD "Where We Are On TV" report found.

What's more, when LGBTQ characters are included, they too often fall into dangerous tropes that perpetuate negative stereotypes. Hollywood also has a tendency to kill off LGBTQ characters or avoid giving them happy endings: "bury your gays," as it's been coined throughout the years.

Too often, queer characters are written more like props — not as complex, real people.  

The only recurring LGBTQ character on TV who's HIV-positive is portrayed by Conrad Ricamora (left) in "How to Get Away with Murder," the 2015 GLAAD report found. Photo by Astrid Stawiarz/Getty Images for Point Foundation.

Media representation matters because if and how we see ourselves in the world around us (including on our TV screens) helps shape our own self perceptions in big ways.

Paulson understands no one Emmy win or captivating speech can shift an industry overnight.

"It’s a complicated thing to talk about," Paulson said when asked about how her speech plays into the bigger theme of trailblazing LGBTQ women. "The issues this raises are big and important. I don’t want to give superficial answers."

But — thanks in part to actresses like Paulson, McKinnon, and Cox — more girls and young women can see themselves in their favorite TV series and the Emmy speeches that make history. And that's big.

Stop me if you've heard this one before:

Imagine a sitcom based on the life of a stand-up comedian. Maybe there's some stage work thrown in for show, but for the most part, the story follows the life of the comic in his or her everyday life, friendships, romantic relationships, and the like. If that sounds familiar, it's because it's been done many, many times over. Think "Seinfeld" or "Louie," for example.

"Take My Wife," a new sitcom from NBCUniversal's Seeso digital streaming service, manages to take that well-worn premise and transform it into something entirely new and engaging. The story centers on the lives of real-life comics (and real-life couple) Cameron Esposito and Rhea Butcher, a duo in their early-30s living in L.A. who co-host a stand-up show at a local comedy club.


All GIFs from Seeso.

Originally sold as a stand-up show, Esposito and Butcher later re-pitched it as single-camera scripted show built around sketches of their lives off the stage.

"Beyond how awesome stand-up is, we really wanted to talk about, you know, our lives as small business people who happen to do stand-up for a living," Esposito says.

"It's just a sitcom relationship about two people trying to figure out how to make it work." — Cameron Esposito

And it's a good thing they did, because honestly, it's the off-stage material that makes "Take My Wife" stand out from the titles you'll find scattered throughout Netflix, Comedy Central, and HBO. Whether it's Esposito and Butcher's interactions with other comics, scenes of Butcher standing in her living room working on new material, or Esposito's meeting with an old college friend that makes her take stock of her own position in life, there's a lot packed into the roughly 20-minute episodes.

Same-sex couples remain in short supply when it comes to sitcoms. "Take My Wife" wants to change that in a big way.

"I think what I find to be so special about the show and what I hope people like about it is that our relationship and our lives are as normative as anybody's life," says Esposito. "I think we haven't yet seen that on TV. We haven't yet seen a queer couple that is dealt with as if they're any sitcom couple."

"Like, the camera doesn't slow down and candles don't get lit every time that we kiss, or there aren't dudes in our orbit that we may or may not be sleeping with on the side. It's just a sitcom relationship about two people trying to figure out how to make it work."

One of the most impressive aspects of the show is the commitment to pushing back on sometimes harmful tropes used to advance storylines for women, LGBTQ characters, and others.

One of the most hard-hitting examples happens at the beginning of the second episode, in which Butcher and Esposito discuss the merits of sex in a hypothetical TV show starring the two of them.

“I think it’s very important to show two women, I don’t know, being casually intimate with each other, but also, it’s us and we’re real people. We’re a couple," says Butcher in the episode.

"Well, if we don’t do it, then it’s like no actual lesbians on TV having sex with other women," replies Esposito. "And there’s also like no women on TV having sex with other women, period. I mean, maybe that happens, but then like, one of them dies or they both die. They’re warlords and they die or they sleep with a man and then they die or they’re like at school and they die or they’re an art professor and they die. My point is, I just want us to live."

In case you're not picking up what she's putting down, she's not wrong: Queer women tend to not fare too well in modern media. Check out Autostraddle's list of 162 (and counting) fictional lesbian and bisexual women who have been killed off on TV. (For her part, Esposito promises that no queer women will die on "Take My Wife".)

It's a funny show with a lot of substance — just don't expect it to be delivered in some sort of "after-school special" format.

"I think in terms of hot button issues that are often dealt with in [sitcoms] with these sweeping think pieces," says Esposito. "Things like sexual assault and rape jokes and queer people and bathrooms and everything that usually ends up in these very black and white situations where people are firmly against or firmly for it. I think that does a real disservice to talking about how complicated it is just to be a human being today, and there's a gray area to every single issue, and I really think that's the experience of being an outsider in some ways."

"As women, we're outsiders in our profession. As queer people, we're outsiders in the world in general. I think that the positive side of that is that you realize how much nuance there is."

Watch the trailer for "Take My Wife" below:

All episodes of "Take My Wife" are now streaming over at Seeso.com. Rhea Butcher's latest stand-up album "Butcher" will be released on August 19 from Kill Rock Stars.