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Family

What to do when you're the child of an alcoholic

My dad was an addict, and growing up with him taught me a lot.

Photo with permission from writer Ashley Tieperman.

Ashley Tieperman and her father.

There was never just one moment in my family when we “found out" that my dad was an addict.

I think I always knew, but I never saw him actually drinking. Usually, he downed a fifth of vodka before he came home from work or hid tiny bottles in the garage and bathroom cabinets.

My name is Ashley, and I am the child of an addict. As a kid, I cried when our family dinner reservation shrunk from four to three after a man with glassy eyes stumbled through the door. I didn't guzzle the vodka, but I felt the heartbreak of missed birthdays. I feel like I should weigh 500 pounds from all the “I'm sorry" chocolate donuts. I had to grow up quicker, but it made me into the person I am today.

addiction, coping, 12 step programs, recovery

Me and my dad.

Photo with permission from writer Ashley Tieperman.

I spent many years shouting into journals about why this was happening to me. But this is the thing that no one will tell you about loving someone who has an addiction: it will force you to see the world through different eyes.

Here are some things I've learned:

1. When your family's yelling about burnt toast, they're probably also yelling about something else.

My family yelled about everything — and nothing — to avoid the messy stuff. We all handled my dad's addiction differently. My brother devoured sports. My mom took bubble baths. I slammed doors and slammed boyfriends for not understanding my family's secrets.

Regardless of the preferred coping mechanism, everyone feels pain differently.

2. Your "knight in shining armor" can't fix this.

Boyfriends became my great escape when I was young. But when I expected them to rescue me from the pain I grew up with, it never worked out. No matter how strapping they looked galloping in on those white horses, they couldn't save me or fix anything.

In the end, I realized that I had to find healing on my own before I could build a strong relationship.

3. “Don't tell anyone" is a normal phase.

When my dad punched holes in the wall, my mom covered them up with artwork. I wanted to rip the artwork down to expose all the holes, especially as a bratty teenager. But eventually I realized that it wasn't my choice. My parents had bills to pay and jobs to keep. I've learned it's common to cover up for dysfunction in your family, especially when it feels like the world expects perfection.

4. Friends probably won't get it, but you'll need them anyway.

Bulldozed by broken promises, I remember collapsing on a friend's couch from the crippling pain of unmet expectations. I hyperventilated. Things felt uncontrollable and hopeless. My friend rubbed my back and just listened.

These are the kinds of friends I will keep forever, the ones who crawled down into the dark places with me and didn't make me get back up until I was ready.

5. You can't fix addiction, but you can help.

When I was a teenager, I called a family meeting. I started by playing a Switchfoot song: “This is your life. Are you who you want to be?"

Let's skip to the punchline: It didn't work.

It wasn't just me. Nothing anyone did worked. My dad had to lose a lot — mostly himself — before he hit that place they call “rock bottom." And, in all honesty, I hate that label because “rock bottom" isn't just a one-and-done kind of place.

What can you do while you wait for someone to actually want to get help? Sometimes, you just wait. And you hope. And you pray. And you love. And you mostly just wait.

6. Recovery is awkward.

When a counselor gave me scripted lines to follow if my dad relapsed, I wanted to shred those “1-2-3 easy steps" into a million pieces.

For me, there was nothing easy about my dad's recovery. My whole family had to learn steps to a new dance when my dad went into recovery. The healing dance felt like shuffling and awkwardly stepping on toes. It was uncomfortable; new words, like trust and respect, take time to sink in. And that awkwardness is also OK.

7. I still can't talk about addiction in the past tense.

Nothing about an addict's life happens linearly. I learned that early on. My dad cycled through 12-step programs again and again, to the point where I just wanted to hurl whenever anyone tried to talk about it. And then we finally reached a point where it felt like recovery stuck.

But even now, I'll never say, “My dad used to deal with addiction." My whole family continues to wrestle with the highs and lows of life with an addict every single day.

8. Happy hours and wedding receptions aren't easy to attend.

My family will also probably never clink glasses of red wine or stock the fridge full of beer. I'm convinced happy hours and wedding receptions will get easier, but they might not. People get offended when my dad orders a Diet Coke instead of their fine whisky.

Plus, there's the paranoia factor. Surrounded by flowing liquor, I hate watching my dad crawl out of his skin, tempted to look “normal" and tackle small talk with people we barely know. I've learned that this fear will probably last for a while, and it's because I care.

9. If you close your eyes, the world doesn't just “get prettier."

With constant fear of the unknown, sometimes our world is not a pretty place. I remember watching the breaking news on 9/11 and feeling the terror of the planes crashing into the Twin Towers as if I was there.

My dad numbed the anxiety of these dark days with vodka, but this didn't paint a prettier world for him when he woke up the next day. I've dealt with the fear of the unknown with the help of boys, booze, and bad dancing on pool tables. Life hurts for everyone, and I think we all have to decide how we're going to handle the darkness.

10. Rip off the sign on your back that reads: “KICK ME. MY LIFE SUCKS."

Sometimes I look in the mirror and I see only my broken journey. In some twisted way, I'm comforted by the dysfunction because it's kept me company for so long. It's easy to let the shadow of my family's past follow me around and choose to drown in the darkness.

But every day, I'm learning to turn on the light. I have to write the next chapter in my recovery story, but I can't climb that mountain with all this crap weighing me down.

11. It's OK to forgive, too.

Some people have given me sucky advice about how I should write an anthem on daddy bashing, or how to hit the delete button on the things that shaped my story.

Instead, my dad and I are both learning to celebrate the little things, like the day that he could change my flat tire. On that day, I didn't have to wonder if he was too drunk to come help me.

I can't forget all the dark nights of my childhood.

But I've learned that for my own well-being, I can't harbor bitterness until I explode.

Instead, I can love my dad, day by day, and learn to trust in the New Dad — the one with clearer eyes and a full heart. The one who rescues me when I call.

This article was written by Ashley Tieperman and originally appeared on 04.27.16

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addiction

Joy

People share their biggest job 'oopsies' and it's a celebration of human imperfection at work

Always nice to know we're not the only ones to mess up royally.

Antoni Shkraba/Canva

So many of us have had "oops" moments in our jobs.

Nobody wants to mess up in their jobs, especially in a way that's highly visible or embarrassing, but it happens even to the best of us.

And while it may not take away the red-faced embarrassment that inevitably follows a major mistake, it is always good to hear that other people have royally screwed up at work, too.

That's why a 2021 tweet from HBO Max's helpdesk about an intern sending a blank test email prompted a celebration of human imperfection as people shared their own biggest work "oopsies."

The original post on X read, "We mistakenly sent out an empty test email to a portion of our HBO Max mailing list this evening. We apologize for the inconvenience, and as the jokes pile in, yes, it was the intern. No, really. And we’re helping them through it." The ended their message with a heart emoji.

Responses to the tweet included a flood of "Dear intern," messages with people sharing encouraging words and personal faux pas, such as the 37-year-old woman who realized she'd accidentally been putting her menstrual cycle start on the company's work calendar.

Swipe through for more:

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The share of the MaxHelp thread on Upworthy's Instagram inspired even more people to share their work mistakes.

Here's a sampling of the oh-so-very-human stories people shared:

"Sent a press release with Pittsburgh Pubic Schools in the headline."

"I was in charge of creating tags for a local grocery chain. I proudly typed up 'Colgate Cum Comfort Toothbrush.' It should’ve said 'gum comfort.' This tag went to 200+ stores. I came in late the day after they hit stores and couldn’t figure out why I had roughly 80 emails. After dying inside at least 3x, I finally went to my boss to apologize. She was laughing harder than I expected. I was 30. I had been there for 5yrs. This tag is now framed in my living room."

"I once worked for a large, very high quality (and high fees) childcare company…many of our parents were high profile people. I sent an email to an entire centre with over 700 families telling them about some new activities we had planned for the Tiny Tits room…instead of the Tiny Tots room. Thankfully most the parents had a sense of humor about it 😂😂"

"I made a huge mistake at work yesterday and informed my boss via email. He never responded, and I was nervous all night. This morning, he sent me a quick email in response: 'Do not worry about this… we will fix it together when I come in.' Not only did his kind response make me feel much better, but he ended up screwing up even worse than I had lol it was great."

N"ot an electronic mistake but - my first night as a waitress I dropped a hot fudge sundae on a man's lap and proceeded to grab a rag and wipe his crotch to get the whip cream off. It took me a few seconds to realize what I was doing and the whole table was laughing at me but I thought I would die. I did get a decent tip out of it, though. 😂"

"I once worked for a visitor’s center in a small town. I was in charge of mailing out a monthly calendar to the community of the different groups in town. I put that 'Bikers Against Child Support' we’re in town for a weekend rally. The name of the group is 'Bikers Against Child Abuse.' I found out when a couple of big names in the community got their calendar and called my boss. Everyone laughed at the mistake and the biker group got a kick out of it. I haven’t worked there in 15 years and it is still brought up each year at their rally."

"I work for a rock radio station in Canada and once deleted ALL of the Canadian music out of the system. On a Friday. At 4:30. Good times. Still employed though!"

"Dear Intern, I did a search and delete for soft returns in a word doc and when I reviewed it with the lead engineers at Hewlett-Packard they noted 17 instances of the word penis inserted, where it should have been pen is inserted."

"Dear Intern, I once sent out a confidential email about an upcoming stock plan to all our European employees. I was a 33 year old lawyer. We all survived and you will too. 😘"

"Dear Intern, I used to type retail ads for our local newspaper. One ad was for part-time work, and I didn't find out until it was published in the paper that I had typed the heading as 'Fart Time'. A local radio DJ took it upon himself to shout that out far and wide. He thought it was hilarious. I was mortified. However... no one actually knew I made the typo except my immediate co-workers. (Thank God.) But afterward, the owner of the advertising agency withdrew all of her commercial time from the radio station because of it, so, he lost out, and I was vindicated. 😏 🙌"

People loved reading through all the examples of humans not being perfect and others being understanding and compassionate about it:

"I ❤️❤️❤️ this. Let’s normalize making mistakes. We all do it. So nice to see humans uplifting other humans dealing with their human-ness."

"Without the mistake, all these very genuine human connections would not be possible."

"So much humanity and compassion…Am i living in a parallel world? I even smiled sincerely."

Here's to us all being being human, in all our embarrassingly imperfect glory.

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Templeton World Charity Foundation

Forgiveness

First ever "Forgiveness Forum" to convene peacemakers, politicians and experts from around the world

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In a year characterized by racial injustice, political polarization and economic uncertainty, not to mention an ongoing pandemic, it's going to take a lot more than a motivational poster of a sunrise to inspire the world toward unity. For genuine change to occur, we need to move past platitudes, and rekindle compassion through community and conversation.

Recognizing this global need, Templeton World Charity Foundation (TWCF) launched the Forgiveness Forum, a new series of timely virtual conversations set to kick off on December 16, 2020. The events will explore how forgiveness can be used as a tool for personal growth and global healing by not only clarifying how forgiveness and justice — two seemingly disparate processes — can exist side by side, but also looking at the surprising science behind the physical and mental health benefits that forgiveness holds.

Over the past two decades, compelling research has examined the age-old concept of forgiveness. Through evidence-based tools, you can reap the benefits of forgiveness in your own life.

Learn more at the free #ForgivenessForum on Dec. 16: https://t.co/to532K5JLU pic.twitter.com/3esZGjNbfi
— Templeton World Charity Foundation (@TempletonWorld) December 7, 2020

Right out of the gate, the Forum has secured a powerful line-up with The Elders, an exemplary group of politicians, peacemakers, and influencers who model forgiveness and work together for peace, justice and human rights. Speakers for the inaugural event will include three members of The Elders:

Mary Robinson, the former President of Ireland and UN High Commissioner for Human Rights
Juan Manuel Santos, former President of Colombia and recipient of the 2016 Nobel Peace Prize
Zeid Raad Al Hussein, former UN High Commissioner for Human Rights and Jordanian Ambassador to the United States.

"Forgiveness and reconciliation are fundamental to the process of peace making and peace building," says President Santos.

"As the leader of a country that experienced tremendous suffering through conflict for many years, I know the importance of finding common ground and shared goals with those you have profoundly disagreed with. Only then can one consider true justice and hope for a better future." President Robinson agrees. "The power of forgiveness is so important to overcoming the challenges we face in a polarized world."

Forum Chair Andrew Serazin, President of TWCF, will guide the conversation alongside Moderator Zain Verjee, a world-renowned journalist and former CNN anchor. "One of the things that is so fascinating about this body of work," says Serazin, "is that forgiveness is a process that has universal resonance. Around the world, everyone has a perspective on or experience with forgiveness, and at Templeton World Charity Foundation, we are interested in exploring all of those stories."

.@NelsonMandela, Gandhi, Maya Angelou, Confucius, and the list goes on. Leaders and pioneers who faced adversity and abuse, exile and hate, but each spoke about the power of #forgiveness. Join us as we explore this complex subject with @TheElders. https://t.co/6VLrnzGxMG pic.twitter.com/Nue8SQR6H7
— Templeton World Charity Foundation (@TempletonWorld) December 6, 2020

Building upon the introduction in the first session, the Forgiveness Forum will continue in 2021 with conversations on the science of forgiveness and forgiveness in pop culture, engaging the hearts and minds of philosophers and psychologists, scholars and poets, pop culture icons, athletes and scientists. Serazin says he hopes that by "this time next year we have a broad coalition of leading individuals and organizations committed to spreading the word about forgiveness."

Often, we think of forgiveness as an obligation — something you're "supposed" to do as opposed to something you want to do. But forgiveness is also something we should do for ourselves. Helping others, repairing society, healing the world — those are actually bonus side effects. The first person forgiveness heals is yourself. If you're having trouble with this time-honored practice (and we all are), an hour with the Forum is a good first step. "Our hope," says Serazin, "is that people will be open to learning more about forgiveness and consider it in their own lives."

The inaugural Forgiveness Forum event will take place at 10–11AM EST Wednesday, December 16th, 2020 on Zoom and will be open and free to anyone around the world. The event will also be live streamed via Templeton World Charity Foundation's YouTube, and embedded in the Forgiveness Forum website.

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Forgiving yourself can feel impossible. But here's a proven way to do it.

Most of us are our own worst critics. We bully ourselves when we fall short of perfection, carry around past regrets, and refuse to let ourselves off the hook for any transgressions.

Unless this cycle is stopped, it can lead to persistent self-inflicted suffering. Studies show that those who have a hard time forgiving themselves are more likely to experience heart attacks, high blood pressure, depression, and addiction.

Fred Luskin, PhD, director of the Stanford University Forgiveness Project, told Prevention there are four things that are hardest for people to forgive themselves for:

You fail at some major life task such as making your marriage work.
Your actions have hurt someone else.
You've hurt yourself by the way you've led your life: drinking or doing something else that's self-destructive.
You didn't do something you thought you should, such as intervene in a family dispute or put money away so your kid can go to college.

Some of us take those bad feelings and wrap them around ourselves like a blanket of pain, instead of taking responsibility and making things right.

"Forgiveness is a tool with which we face what we've done in the past, acknowledge our mistakes, and move on. It does not mean that you condone or excuse what happened. It does not mean that you forget," says Luskin.

"There's a season for our suffering and regret. We have to have that. But the season ends; the world moves on. And we need to move on with it," Luskin adds.

Luskin has a process that can help people go from feeling wounded to grateful.

via Pixabay

1. Understand the offense and your feelings

Take another look at the four things that are hardest to forgive ourselves for and see where your behavior falls on the list. "Categorizing the offense begins the forgiveness process," he says. "It allows you to break down what you did, look at it, get a little distance, and begin healing."

Once you are able to articulate the offense and the damage it caused others, share it with a few trusted friends. Confiding in others can be a positive reminder that we all make mistakes. It also prevents you from slipping into denial.

You should also reconsider if what you did was really that bad in the first place. Sometimes we have unrealistic expectations for our own behavior which can lead to feelings of guilt when, in reality, our behavior was appropriate given the circumstances.

2. How do you want to feel?

How do you want to feel after you've found forgiveness? Luskin says you should want to get rid of the "shame, release the blame, and feel calm and whole at your center."

3. Hit stop on your thoughts and emotions

Realize that the feelings you are carrying around are what's making you feel terrible, not what you did all those days, months, or years ago. When you start ruminating on the event that brings you guilt, pause and refocus your attention on something positive.

A great way to do that is to focus on a good deed you may have done recently or how you've changed since the event took place.

Luskin also recommends trying PERT (Positive Emotion Refocusing Technique). Close your eyes, draw in a long breath, then slowly exhale as you relax your belly. Take a deep breath two more times and on the third one, create a mental image of a beautiful place in nature.

Breathe deeply as your mind explores the beauty around you, whether it's a beach, mountain top, or the calming waters of a stream. Allow the positive feelings you create to center around your heart.

For more on what science says about the benefits of forgiveness, click here.

via Pixabay

4. Apologize and make amends

Being forgiven by someone else can help us forgive ourselves. Making a sincere apology to someone affected by your actions can go a long way towards helping you heal yourself.

Next, you can try to right the wrong by making amends to the person you hurt. "Do good rather than feel bad," Luskin says.

5. Reframe your behavior

Instead of thinking about the event and casting yourself as the bad guy, look at the entirety of the situation and recast yourself as the hero. When you tell yourself the story of what happened, be sure to consider how you've overcome a failure and turned it into something good. Focus on what you've learned from going through the ordeal and give yourself credit for how you've changed.

6. Replace guilt with gratitude

Finally, replace your negative feelings of guilt with positive feelings of gratitude. Look around and appreciate all that you have, whether it's the breath in your lungs, the shoes on your feet, or the people you love in your life.

Cultivating an attitude of gratitude can extinguish any lingering feelings of guilt and shame and put you back on the path of loving yourself again.

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Human connection has the power to change lives.

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27 years ago, Debbie Baigrie was shot in the face during an attempted robbery. Her assailant was a 13-year-old boy.

Ian Manuel was the youngest of three boys who threatened Baigrie that night, but despite his age, he was the one holding the gun.

Ian Manuel in grade school. All photos provided by Starbucks.

"I heard from behind, 'I’m serious, give it up,'" Baigrie recalls.

As she turned around to look at Manuel, he accidentally fired.

She felt an awful pain shoot through her face and saw one of her teeth land on the ground. The terrified boys took off, and Baigrie managed to run back to the restaurant where she had just eaten dinner to get help.

Later she learned all the teeth on the bottom left side of her mouth had been blown out. If the gun had been pointed slightly higher, she would've suffered a traumatic brain injury. All things considered, she was very lucky.

A few days later, Manuel was arrested for riding in a stolen car, and he immediately admitted he was the one who shot Baigrie.

Baigrie didn't learn her shooter was only 13 until she read about his arrest in the paper.

"I’m like 13?! There’s no way a 13-year-old kid shot me. He’s just a child," Baigrie says.

Debbie Baigrie.

Even so, Manuel was charged with attempted murder, armed robbery, and attempted armed robbery as an adult. The maximum sentence was life in prison.

His mother and lawyer urged him to plead guilty in order to get his sentence cut, but the judge was determined to make an example of him and gave him life without parole.

Baigrie could not believe it. "The punishment didn’t match the crime."

Two weeks before his 14th birthday, Manuel started serving his sentence. A year into it, around Christmas, he decided to reach out to Baigrie.

The first thing he said to her was, "Miss Baigrie, I called to wish you and your family a Merry Christmas and happy holidays. And to apologize, you know, for shooting you in the face."

Needless to say, it was a difficult conversation. Manuel asked if he could continue it by writing her letters, and she said yes.

One of Manuel's letters to Baigrie.

Over the next 15 years, the two corresponded regularly and struck up an unlikely friendship.

Baigrie was impressed by Manuel's writing abilities, which seemed to her to far exceed the abilities of a 13-year-old of his background. He also sent her his report card from prison school to show her how well he was doing. She encouraged him to keep improving himself, despite his circumstances.

While she doesn't recall saying or writing it, she eventually forgave him and did what she could to remind him there was someone outside who cares.

The exterior of the Equal Justice Initiative.

Aside from Baigrie, Manuel also wrote letters to civil rights groups in hopes that one would take up his case. In 2006, one finally responded.

The Equal Justice Initiative (EJI) told him they were interested in challenging the constitutionality of life sentences without parole for children. They had recently won a similar case to save a minor from the death sentence, so they thought they had a good shot.

It took four years for EJI's case to reach the Supreme Court, but sure enough, the judges ruled in their favor.

Seven years later, after the same judge who first sentenced him to life re-sentenced him despite Baigrie's support, Manuel won his freedom.

"I told the judge me and Debbie have been waiting for years for the judicial system to catch up to my remorse and her forgiveness," Manuel recalls.

After 26 years in prison, 18 of which were spent in solitary confinement, he was released, and his first meal as a free man was pizza with Baigrie.

Manuel's first night of freedom with Baigrie.

The EJI then helped Manuel get a Social Security card and an apartment and even offered him a job in their offices. It was a major leg up, but he still had a lot to learn, having never been an adult out in the world.

Thankfully he had people like Baigrie supporting him along the way.

"I see Ian for who he is," Baigrie says. "I’m not saying he wasn’t responsible for his actions, but when you’re 13, you should be given the opportunity to change, to grow."

Remorse and forgiveness saved Manuel on so many levels and brought Baigrie peace.

Few stories more clearly prove that human connection has power — sometimes enough to right the egregious wrongs of the past.

Watch Manuel and Baigrie's whole story here:

She followed her gut and answered a phone call from her attacker. Then a beautiful friendship blossomed.
Posted by Upworthy on Monday, October 23, 2017

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Templeton World Charity Foundation

Her son was murdered in 1993. Today, she’s helping his killer rebuild his life.

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In February 1993, Mary Johnson was at work when she got the horrible news: Her son, Laramiun, had been murdered.

He'd been at a party when a fight broke out, and he wound up dead.

The killer? A 16-year-old boy named Oshea Israel.

At the trial, Mary felt only rage. "In court, I viewed Oshea as an animal," she told The Forgiveness Project.

"The root of bitterness ran deep, anger had set in, and I hated everyone. I remained like this for years, driving many people away."

But one day nearly 12 years later, she read something that made her see her anger in a new way.

It's been a long, difficult journey, but today Mary and Oshea have grown quite close. Photo by Brian Morgan, used with permission.

"Tell me the name of the son you love so,
That I may share with your grief and your woe."

So goes the poem "Two Mothers" about a conversation between the mothers of Jesus Christ and Judas Iscariot, sharing in their grief over losing their sons, all the while not knowing who the other was.

"It was such a healing poem all about the commonality of pain, and it showed me my destiny," Mary said.

She decided then that it wasn't enough to tell herself she had forgiven Oshea. It wasn't enough to try to block out the memories and never think of him again. No, to forgive Oshea — really forgive him — she'd have to embrace him with love. Help him get his life together.

It was the only way to get her own life back.

"Forgiveness isn't forgetting," she said in a phone interview. "People need to learn that forgiveness is for them, not the person that hurt them."

So she went to the prison to meet Oshea face to face for the first time since the trial.

It wasn't easy. And to this day, Mary says many people still don't understand her capacity to embrace her son's murderer. But what followed was an inspiring story of healing and forgiveness of the highest order.

Listen to Mary and Oshea talk about their unlikely bond in this inspiring video:

Templeton World Charity Foundation

Family

Having a rough week? Here are 9 brilliant and easy ways you can turn it around.

Guess what day it is...

Hump dayyyyyy! GIF via Geico.

That's right, kids. It's Wednesday! Hump day. The fulcrum on which your whole week turns. Or pivots. Maybe tips? Whatever fulcrums do.

The point is, you made it. Monday is a distant memory, and the weekend is becoming a faint but enchanting glimmer in your future. It's all downhill from here.

If you haven't been having a good week, though, today might just feel like another crappy day. Don't worry. It's not too late to turn this week from bad to good. In fact, there are a few simple things you can do to reverse the cycle.

Here are nine science-approved ways to turn your week around.

Because we can't all have the naturally boisterous excitement of a workplace camel.

1. Move to a different work spot. Even if it's just for a minute.

Changing up your scenery does amazing things for your mood. When you're stuck in a rut, changing your environment sends a signal to your brain that the current cycle isn't going to continue.

"Drive around, take a walk, or just go to a different floor. The key is to put yourself in a different physical location,” says Annie McKee, founder of the Teleos Leadership Institute.

Don't worry, he just works better with his eyes closed. Photo via iStock.

If there's truly no way to work from a different spot, just get away from your desk for a minute. Take a quick walk outside or say hi to someone in a different office. It'll help you to not feel trapped.

2. Stand like Wonder Woman. No seriously.

It may sound weird, but there's research to suggest that so-called "power poses" can actually improve your mindset. They help you feel more in control of your world and can boost your confidence.

Which is perfect if a stack of paperwork has left you feeling helpless, or if you made a mistake that got you some flak earlier in the week.

Costumes not included. Photo by Matthier Alexandre/AFP/Getty Images.

"Body-mind approaches such as power posing rely on the body, which has a more primitive and direct link to the mind, to tell you you're confident," says Amy Cuddy, a Harvard Business School professor.

Basically, your mind listens to your body. So standing like a superhero can start to make you feel like one. And who better to knock this day out of the park and into the stratosphere than a superhero?

3. Forgive yourself for your mistakes.

Forgiveness — especially self-forgiveness — is a pretty great thing.

You've seen the posters: "We all make mistakes," "No one is perfect," "You're a snowflake," etc. The fact is, if your mistake didn't make the world crash and burn, it's probably OK to let it go.

"When resentment is interfering with your life, it's time to forgive yourself," says Sharon Harman, a clinical trainer at the Caron Foundation . "So many people have a constant, critical voice in their heads narrating their every move."

Letting the little things go is way better than your four different sizes of coffee. Photo via iStock.

And it's that voice that could be dragging down your whole week. Don't let the mistakes of Monday be the grumpiness and lethargy of Wednesday. Let it go. Whatever it is, everyone else has probably forgotten about it by now.

Except for Karen. She remembers everything.

4. Prioritize and schedule. Your brain loves that.

If you feel like you've already lost control of your week, it's time to take a step back. Things are hardly ever as bad as they seem.

Ask yourself: What actually needs to get done today? What needs to get done before the end of the week? What can be back-burnered for a later date? Figure all that out and start scheduling your time.

1. Pick up glasses. 2. Put on face. 3. Finish to-do list. Photo via iStock.

Also, make a to-do list. Your brain is a huge fan ofto-do lists, and they can make you more efficient at tackling responsibilities.

"Even when you are overwhelmed with tasks, the most important thing you can do is make a plan on how to get them done, starting with a to-do list," writes Jonathan Becher. "Simply writing the tasks down will make you more effective."

5. Socialize with someone. Anyone.

Little-known secret: We need human interaction to feel OK.

If all you've been doing is working, you may not have even noticed that your social life has slipped. Talking to Greg at the water cooler about last night's "Top Chef" doesn't really count, either. You're still at work!

Go out and cut loose. You don't have to do keg stands and Jägerbombs or anything (unless you want to). Grab dinner or drinks with a friend. Or just walk around the park with someone.

"Hey guys, wanna get together on my roof and HIGH-FIVE THE SUN?!" Photo via iStock.

Have a significant other? Take them on a date! Been married for 25 years and think you've outgrown dates? Yeah ... ask your partner how they feel about that.

A little midweek socialization can lift your mood enough to glide through right to Friday. Pro tip: Don't look at your phone the whole time.

6. Do something nice for someone.

You hear that? It sounds like two birds. Here's your one stone: Performing a simple act of kindness can be uplifting for you and totally make someone else's day.

Whether it’s buying a coworker coffee, paying a toll for the car behind you, or even just complimenting someone’s sweater, those little actions will make someone smile and, in turn, make you a happier person.

This guy either just got a compliment or is currently watching a very tall clown. Photo via iStock.

“People who engage in kind acts become happier over time,” says psychology professor Sonja Lyubomirsky. “When you are kind to others, you feel good as a person — more moral, optimistic, and positive.”

Why not improve your week by improving someone else's?

7. Treat yo self. Take some "you" time.

If you have a full-time job and a family, chances are you spend a LOT of time trying to make others happy.

When was the last time you did something just for you?

"I do think it’s important to take time for treats, because treats help us to feel energized, restored, and light-hearted," writes Gretchen Rubin. "Without them, we can start to feel resentful, depleted, and irritable."

The scented candles are to mask the farts. Photo via iStock.

So take a bath with those expensive scented candles. Watch that zombie movie you know your wife will hate. Take a run through your neighborhood, or get a nice cappuccino. Whatever does it for you, make some time to do it for you.

8. Listen to your favorite song. No, really, do it right now.

The fact that music can boost your mood has been well-documented and well-researched. It also shouldn't be that surprising — nothing feels better than listening to the music you love.

You can also increase productivity by turning on your computers! Photo via iStock.

If you've got the blues (oof), listening to music can make you feel totally jazzed (yikes) and ready to rock (I'm so sorry) the rest of your day. Which will get you all set up for a better week.

Plus, your favorite song is awesome. That's why it's your favorite, right?

9. This one might be obvious: Pet an animal.

Ever wonder why you love petting animals so much? Well, same reason you like pretty much anything. Brain chemicals!

Petting animals releases oxytocin, which is a feel-good hormone that improves mood while reducing stress and anxiety.

"Sorry your week was so RUFF. Get it? I'm a dog." Photo via iStock.

If you have a pet, today is a good day to force them to cuddle with you. If you don't have a pet, don't worry, there are options. You can either recruit someone else's pet or just follow a random dog down the street. Eventually you'll get close enough to pet them.

If the dog's owner gets mad at you, just tell them you're doing it for the oxytocin. Tell them you're having a bad week and this is how you plan to turn it around. You can even tell them it's an act of kindness on their part! Which will make their day better too! Remember the two birds?

It's not too late to turn this bad week into a great one.

The key here is that you shouldn't give up. We all have bad days, bad afternoons, bad hours. Those are temporary states, and they don't define you.

If you can break out of a mental funk, you can become more productive, more energized, and happier. Life's too short to wallow in the bad times, and it's definitely too short to have a bad week.

You're the captain of the U.S.S. Workweek. You can turn it around whenever you want.

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