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Dad's 7-week paternity leave after birth of second child changes his entire parenting outlook

"These past seven weeks really opened up my eyes on how the household has actually ran, and 110% of that is because of my wife."

@ustheremingtons/TikTok

Dad's paternity leave was eye-opening.

Participating in paternity leave offers fathers so much more than an opportunity to bond with their new kids. It also allows them to help around the house and take on domestic responsibilities that many new mothers have to face alone while also tending to a newborn. All in all, it enables couples to handle the daunting new chapter as a team, making it less stressful on both parties (Or at least equally stressful on both parties. Now that's equity!).

TikTok creator and dad Caleb Remington, from the popular account @ustheremingtons, confesses that for baby number one, he wasn’t able to take a “single day of paternity leave.” This time around, for baby number two, Remington had the privilege of taking seven weeks off (to be clear, his employer offered four weeks, and he used an additional three weeks of PTO).

The time off changed Remington’s entire outlook on parenting, and his insights are something all parents could probably use.

dad, baby, parenting, paternity leave, fatherhood, parenthoodBaby sleeping in Dad's arms.Image via Canva

“It's unfortunately the end of my maternity —ahem— paternity leave,” Remington quips at the beginning of his video via voiceover. “I only joke because my wife is truly the man of the house. And call me what you want, but I am totally okay with that.”

He then shares that after getting to spend quality time with his family to create precious memories—losing track of time to “watch ants cross the sidewalk,” for instance—he feels “guilty” about not doing so with their firstborn.

“[It] made me realize how many of those small moments I missed out the first time, but I'm looking past that guilt and grateful that I had some time to make it up,” he says.

You’ll notice that during this entire video, Remington is also doing chores. Sweeping, mopping, vacuuming, washing dishes, wiping the countertops…you get the picture.

@ustheremingtons

I (caleb) am getting ready to go back into work and i am not ready. Grateful for my four weeks plus 3 weeks of PTO, but i feel like we were just getting into a groove and i was finally getting to have some 1 on 1 time with my son. Picking up the house today because we all function better with a clean space and we haven’t had time to do much of it while surviving these past 7 weeks. I do work from home and find that I have a little more flexibility in helping out here and there but i am also pretty glued and have to be zoned in during work hours. I do however have some pretty awesome and understanding coworkers and company!Shout out to @SAMBAZON Açaí 👊 Tiff is an all star: working and stay at home mom. I am dedicated in doing better to help balance more of the domestic responsibilities. #paternityleave #dadtok #dadsover30 #dadlife #fyp #foryoupage #ditl #ditlvlog #maternityleave #newbornlife #newbornbaby #secondbaby #2under2 #toddlerlife

Why is he doing this? His wife, aka “the lady with the milk bags,” has been so stressed with the house being messy that Remington decided to focus on doing all the house cleaning so that she could spend time with the kids.

Doing his fair share of the domestic labor is something Remington admits to failing at their first time around. Spending seven weeks taking on more responsibilities, however, opened his eyes to the fact that what he previously saw as doing his “fair share” was actually doing “the bare minimum.”

cleaning, housework, parenting, parents, chores, kidsFor some households, one's fair share can be the bare minimum.

“It has taken multiple conversations—and many ongoing ones—to truly master how to take on more of the mental load of raising children, growing our marriage and taking care of our investments like our home,” Remington shares, noting that communication really is key.

Lastly, Remington reflects on how the emotional turbulence of being new parents challenged his relationship, even though he and his wife were good communicators and aware of how much effort would be required.

“I honestly hated how much we fought, how much I felt misunderstood, and how much I misunderstood her…so now as second-time parents, I feel like we're a little bit more prepared. Prepared in how we talk to each other, prepared in how I balance work, life, and personal life, and prepared to just let things go,” he says. These are definitely valuable insights for anyone navigating baby number one. Or number five, for that matter.

Remington’s story stands as a great example of just how beneficial paternity leave can be. It offers priceless bonding time, an equal balance of responsibilities, and more time for much needed reflection as parents begin a pivotal new chapter in their lives. What's more, research has shown that paternity leave can actually aid Dad's brains in adapting to parenthood, according to Harvard Business Review.

Today, things have slowed down and revved up as both Remington kids are a little older. What hasn't changed, though, is what everyone learned from those seven weeks of paternity leave: having time to be with one's family, especially during crucial moments of growth and hardship, can make a world of difference. And, one thing's for sure: the Remingtons are committed to figuring it all out with love and grace (and it looks like they're doing great).

@ustheremingtons

Send us all the Bend, OR fooddddiee spots please! Little roadtrip to the mountains so our babies can enjoy the snow 🫰#roadtrip #bend #bendoregon #familytime #familyfun #snow #snowday #toddlerhood #toddlerlife #momanddad #roadtrips #snowfall #fyp #relatable


This article originally appeared two years ago.

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A devastating comic imagines 'The Simpsons' and 'Family Guy' characters as adults.

If Bart Simpson and Chris Griffin grew up and went to therapy, they might have a lot to say.

A lot of it would probably be hard to hear.

All images by Panic Volushka, used with permission.

That's the subject of a fascinating — and heartbreaking — new comic by a 25-year-old, Seattle-based artist who writes and draws under the name Panic Volkushka.

Both "Family Guy" and "The Simpsons" often depict over-the-top family violence. Volkushka, a graduate student in counseling and art therapy, told Upworthy that a class he was taking inspired him to imagine how that violence might affect adult versions of the shows' child characters in the real world.

"People [have been] saying, 'Growing up, I couldn’t watch these shows, because that’s what happened to me, and I didn’t understand why I was suddenly expected to laugh at it,'" Volkushka said.

"At the time I was taking a class on systems therapy, which is based on the idea that even if you’re doing therapy with individuals, that they exist within the context of larger systems — their family system, social systems around them — so you have to understand that to understand what’s going on in their life," Volkushka said.

"The behavior that you pick up in your family is so much of the behavior that you take with you for the rest of your life. And for a lot of people, they don’t realize they’re doing that. Sometimes, for therapy, a big part of that is just realizing, ‘Oh, this is why I’m doing this.'"


As someone who once benefitted greatly from — and currently studies — counseling, Volkushka also hopes to highlight the restorative value of therapy.

"I was bullied pretty badly when I was in middle school and ended up going into therapy when I was 13," he said. "And it was really, really helpful, and I had a wonderful therapist."

In casting the therapist, Voshka attempted to contrast "The Simpsons," "Family Guy," and their casual depictions of abuse, with a show which he feels presents a far healthier family dynamic: "King of the Hill."

"Hank really doesn’t understand Bobby," Volkushka said. "There are times Peggy doesn’t understand Bobby. And Hank definitely discourages Bobby from things that he thinks are 'too girly,' or 'not the things that boys should do,' but ultimately, he loves Bobby, and when Hank is trying to discourage Bobby, or doesn’t understand Bobby, the show generally shows Hank as being in the wrong, and even if he doesn’t understand it, usually by the end of the episode, he’s come to some sort of peace with it. Like, 'I don’t understand my son, but he’s still my son.'"

Though he's received a few complaints from fans of the shows, Volkushka said the reaction has been mostly positive.

"I grew up watching 'The Simpsons.' That was, every Sunday, I’d sit down with my parents and watch the latest episode. And I still really love it."

Ultimately, he said, he hopes the comic will prompt people to take a harder look at the way family dynamics are depicted in pop culture, even on shows that as enduring and popular as the ones it explores.

"You can still appreciate it for what it is and criticize it at the same time. I don’t think that’s impossible."

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