Garry Civitello called into C-SPAN with his heart and insecurities on his sleeve.
Civitello, a white man from Asheville, North Carolina, wanted to speak with Heather McGhee, a black woman and president of Demos, a public policy group working to promote democracy for all. But his question wasn't specifically about public policy. It was about what he could do to be a better person.
"I'm a white male, and I'm prejudiced. What can I do to change, you know, to be a better American?"
<h2>McGhee was initially caught off guard by the question but took an opportunity to respond from the heart:</h2><div><div data-card="youtube" data-reactroot=""><div><span style="display:block;position:relative;padding-top:56.25%;" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2d73cfacd4db1ef9802f6cab11fa295d"><iframe type="lazy-iframe" data-runner-src="https://www.youtube.com/embed/YQBa6mxd_5E?rel=0" width="100%" height="auto" frameborder="0" scrolling="no" style="position:absolute;top:0;left:0;width:100%;height:100%;"></iframe></span></div></div></div><p><strong>"I told him thank you, and I just came up with some thoughts about how he could integrate his life and learn to have more empathy and compassion." </strong></p><p>For Civitello and others looking to make a change, McGhee offered a few places to start. From getting to know black families to asking tough questions of himself and others. </p><div><div class="push-wrapper--mobile" data-card="image" data-reactroot=""><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTUyNDY1OC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTU5NzY0Mzc1M30.3KsTKa0mTOzNhGAXMY6aECbK275wR6U75JC4q-L7uSc/img.gif?width=980" id="9f6ab" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="88064c8c88c8a75c0d1b3b0711166043" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"><div class="image-caption"><p>All images via <a href="https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YQBa6mxd_5E">Upworthy/YouTube</a>. </p></div></div></div><h2><strong>Before long, video of their brief exchange was viewed more than 8 million times. </strong></h2><p>McGhee saw a unique opportunity to build on their conversation. </p><p>She traveled to North Carolina to meet with Civitello, and the two had a positive discussion, asking each other questions and learning about their backgrounds and experiences. For both, the opportunity to grow and learn from each other was a powerful thing. </p><p>"When you get to know people, usually your fears were unjustified," Civitello said.</p><div><div class="push-wrapper--mobile" data-card="image" data-reactroot=""><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTUyNDY1OS9vcmlnaW4uanBnIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyNDI2OTE0N30.7Io3n7c5DJYGZjz2iPpOW2AEIzY0eH4JmGlBokA27ts/img.jpg?width=980" id="98034" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="2b8e67088931fae95dedd74e80166c50" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"> </div></div><h2>Regardless of our backgrounds, all of us have biases to confront. </h2><p>But when we confront those insecurities head on, we can grow and change for the better. It starts with moving outside our own comfort zones and challenging norms. </p><p>"It's time for us to have a conversation with white folks and for white folks to have a conversation with each other about how it doesn't have to be a zero-sum game," McGhee said. </p><div><div class="push-wrapper--mobile" data-card="image" data-reactroot=""><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTUyNDY2MC9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYxNjExNTQxN30.WT3st7PGWPeUjNnuQdzW2uf1WNISXZpEjieVmIAJ-ME/img.gif?width=980" id="f56a1" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="d71fdebef24b67afc1d58f1f6c84bdb3" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></div></div><div><div class="push-wrapper--mobile" data-card="image" data-reactroot=""><img type="lazy-image" data-runner-src="https://assets.rebelmouse.io/eyJhbGciOiJIUzI1NiIsInR5cCI6IkpXVCJ9.eyJpbWFnZSI6Imh0dHBzOi8vYXNzZXRzLnJibC5tcy8xOTUyNDY2MS9vcmlnaW4uZ2lmIiwiZXhwaXJlc19hdCI6MTYyODA1MDg3MH0.nKzmwTl0u6UOngans8h0UFk9PGVpdcQU2M3JURzgD5M/img.gif?width=980" id="75d30" class="rm-shortcode" data-rm-shortcode-id="21bafcb310d3d486d802489d7f5d5e7f" data-rm-shortcode-name="rebelmouse-image"></div></div><h2>As Civitello and McGhee revealed, the conversations are tough but necessary. </h2><p>"It's just something that we don't practice, and taking that first step is the hardest thing," Civitello told McGhee. </p>
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